The Ugliest Picture Ever Taken Of Heather Locklear

Hisssssssss! Hissssss! This picture of Heather Locklear makes me want to say crawl under my bed, say 10 Hail Marys and hold on to my Garfield doll until it's all over. Actually, she sort of looks like Garfield in this picture.

When I first scanned by this picture, I thought it was Jocelyn Wildenstein screaming in pain from the sun melting her plastic face. Unfortunately, it's not a picture of Jocelyn. It's Heather shooting some movie in Hawaii. I need to go wash this image from my brain by watching clips of her as Sammy Jo in "Dynasty" over and over again.

I don't want to believe that Heather is capable of this kind of fugliness. Let's forget we ever saw this. We mustn't speak about it ever again. Put it in the closet, lock the door and throw away the key!