Thursday, May 8th 2008
1-900-CHEETOS
Sucio alert! Star Magazine claims that Brit Brit and KFed have been enjoying late-night phone sex sessions. It all started when Brit Brit couldn't sleep, so she decided to call KFed at 2am. At first they talked about SPF and JJ, but their conversation quickly turned into sloppy, greasy phone sex. Nasty.
A source said, "They have phone sex often — at least once a week. The one thing those two have in common is their need for sex, and after they get going, there are no holds barred."
That isn't right. That's a 3,000 calorie phone call right there. I bet Brit tells him, "Ya'll wanna stick yer cheeto puff in mah dunkin donuts?" Extra frosting!
A Brit Brit and KFed phone sex sessions sounds like the worst episode of Crank Yankers ever.
ShareThis
LOL...and we all know Star Magazine has an abundance of reliable "sources." The mental image is enough to make me wanna join a monestary, wrap myself in a sheet, accost people at LAX with rotting sticks of incense and give up sex forever. Ok..maybe not forever. The "source" is probably the disgruntled nanny after discovering K-Tool gave her crotch cooties and ring worm.
Brittard has a panty seizure every time she hears a phone ring now.
Her dad doesnt know why all the phones keep getting switched to vibrate and ending up in the washing machine after she tries to "erase" the sex evidence instead of just deleting the penis pictures.
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"Go stuff that pie hole you fat idiot Tyra!"
4/29/08 Random kid on the train.
Submitted by Aunt Bea on May 8, 2008 - 2:34pm.
If you let me stick my "Ding Dong" in your "Twinkie",
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The word Twinkie makes me think of little things... if Britney's hoohoo is little, then we're all in trouble.
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If Bigfoot came into my office and took a big shit on my desk, then told me it was my fault ‘cause I showed it a picture of food and it just HAD to eat… you best bet your ass people would be talking about it.
If you let me stick my "Ding Dong" in your "Twinkie", I'll have you "Yodel" like there's no tomorrow...................
Ya wanna put yer gefilite fish in mah horseradish?
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
No one can defend me, because I am so out there no one would ever see things from my point of view.
VVL - I have a very vivid imagination and it often gets the best of me.
Especially with this filthy swamp whore.
It's widley known that she is known for her stench.
That is fucking digusting.
Pig Pen, it's an insult to Pig Pen to even call her that. He was just a poor dirty kid.
Submitted by The C word on May 8, 2008 - 2:28pm.
Thanks LCT! (high fivin' you right back)
It was either that or Baby Ruth....
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Not nearly gross enough... Crispy Crunch perhaps? Kit Kat Chunky? Definitely not Bounty.. Clodhoppers? Malted Milk? Hahahahaha oh man... Nut Milk takes the cake.
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If Bigfoot came into my office and took a big shit on my desk, then told me it was my fault ‘cause I showed it a picture of food and it just HAD to eat… you best bet your ass people would be talking about it.
You wan ta put yo celery stik in my peenut buttah?
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Submitted by Stock Broker on April 25, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Angeloonie looks like a giant lemon.
Which is fitting since she's a bitter, egotistical wench.
mmmm Charleston Chews. I just had one at the IronMan movie the other day.
<3-------------------------------<3
I'm jus a jellus h8tr.
Brit and K-Fed were just asked to make a new commercial for Reese's Cups:
"Y'all wunt to stick yer peepee butta in mah chawkholate,
Er do y'all wanna stick yer chawkholate in mah peepee butta?"
<3-------------------------------<3
I'm jus a jellus h8tr.
you all are really gonna pain k-fed when brit thinks of Charleston Chew
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"Keep on runnin' through the gates of the city.
To give up now would be such a pity.
Don't you wanna see the ship go down with me?"
It brings me to tears the way d-listers congregate on a Shitney thread.
We miss her guys. We really do. :(
<3-------------------------------<3
I'm jus a jellus h8tr.
LoLo.. yuck!!!
*gets dizzy @ visual*
*never eats slim jim again*
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I got Pills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power they're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
Brit- "Oh yes, yes, stick your ho-ho in my peppermint pattie Kevin."
Submitted by LOVECARROTTOP on May 8, 2008 - 2:25pm.
Butterfinger is the best explanation of Kevin's anything that I have EVER. HEARD.
High five.
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Thanks LCT! (high fivin' you right back)
It was either that or Baby Ruth....
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I could not help myself. It is my nature.
Ya wanna put yer pickle in mah vinigaar hole?
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"Go stuff that pie hole you fat idiot Tyra!"
4/29/08 Random kid on the train.
sick... not the image I wanted to have in my mind. But I concur with everyone who thinks these two should get back together, because they deserve each other.
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Submitted by Stock Broker on April 25, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Angeloonie looks like a giant lemon.
Which is fitting since she's a bitter, egotistical wench.
Submitted by The C word on May 8, 2008 - 2:25pm.
It's grossing me out but I can't resist the lure to join in:
"Ya’ll wanna stick yer Butterfinger in mah Kit Kat?"
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Butterfinger is the best explanation of Kevin's anything that I have EVER. HEARD.
High five.
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If Bigfoot came into my office and took a big shit on my desk, then told me it was my fault ‘cause I showed it a picture of food and it just HAD to eat… you best bet your ass people would be talking about it.
You guys are fucking twisted.. But i enjoyed every bit of it!!
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I got Pills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control
Cause the power they're supplyin', it's electrifyin'
Brit (after reading "The Little Engine That Could" to Tater Tot and Small Fry): "How bout puttin your choo choo in mah station?"
It's grossing me out but I can't resist the lure to join in:
"Ya’ll wanna stick yer Butterfinger in mah Kit Kat?"
or more likely
"Ya’ll wanna stick yer Twizzler in mah Whatchamacallit?"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I could not help myself. It is my nature.
Well it IS National Masturbation Month...
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -LA
You only live once, so you might as well eat tasty shit. -MK
I think it's amazing that a little tingle in the coochie area can block out years of having pots and pans thrown at your head.
<3-------------------------------<3
I'm jus a jellus h8tr.
I have a coozie for your beer bottle baby!
I don't get phone sex. I mean I can talk sexy on the phone cuz I'm a filthy whore with the mouth of a sailor, but the "oh yeah can you feel it" bullshit just makes me giggle and then the other person is all mad cuz I ruined the moment
<(*.*<) ^(*.*)^ (>*.*)>
I'm only going to heaven if it feels like hell.
CTH
only if y'all let me see your Reeses Pieces darlin'.
Y'all wanna put your pixie stick in my lik a maid...
?&!
"I just watch porn I don't masturbate."
"Just be advised Nicky half of these bitches are mean so be careful dear."
"LOVE ANGELINA"
_Submitted by christine the hoff on May 8, 2008 - 2:16pm.
bradiful
can I see your Slim Jim?
LMAO at hot pocket!
AH HA HA HA!
"Ohhh baby i want to jerk my.."
"Huh? Yall say sumpin bout jerky?"
"No i want to rub my will.."
"OH i love that mercial, SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM BITCH!"
"Oh god! Why? Well just fuck me. I swear.."
" Im tryin to phone fux ya, but use keep talkin bout jerky when you know im rubbin my tuna caserole raw just tinkin bout yew"
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"Go stuff that pie hole you fat idiot Tyra!"
4/29/08 Random kid on the train.
If you're divorced because you couldn't stand the person, why would you want to have phone sex with them?
Cause right after you're gonna remember why you kicked their ass to the curb. Not sexy.
<3-------------------------------<3
I'm jus a jellus h8tr.
collectively, phone sex operators around the globe felt dirty
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"Keep on runnin' through the gates of the city.
To give up now would be such a pity.
Don't you wanna see the ship go down with me?"
Ew M.E. I think I'm gonna vom now.
Hey... I wonder if she does it in her English voice:
"Would you like to put your packet in my minge and have a spot of tee tut tut cheerio blimey??"
<(*.*<) ^(*.*)^ (>*.*)>
I'm only going to heaven if it feels like hell.
I'll have salami on rye.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
No one can defend me, because I am so out there no one would ever see things from my point of view.
Im not going to lie, having phone sex with ur baby daddy (that u r NOT in a relationship with) is da bomb, first u talk about the kids, then you two start thinking about the past and BAM, taking about how you got pregnant and u liked how it felt.
How I know about this, i just did it 2 days ago but it was the baby daddy who called me. Thank god for picture phones LOL ;-)
Awww I miss their crazy asses together too.
I'll be okay though, Mariah & Dnick (keeping the typo) are going to fill the void.
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"YOU CRACKHEAD BITCH! 25 cents is a quarter! But you need more than that to fix your overcast teefs!" - MK
bradiful
can I see your Slim Jim?
LMAO at hot pocket!
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"This IS Marge's bra! I brought it for her boobs!"
Homer S.
This just made my vag sew itself up.
Nasty.
Just the image of her greasy, dirty ass hand all up in her cootier.
*barfs*
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 8, 2008 - 1:59pm.
it always stops short when brit inserts the phone
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BWAAA HAAA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
KFed: Babe I can't hear you. Can you put your lips near the phone?
**mwuff squiisssh mwuffle**
KFed: Babe?
Ya wanna put yer peperoni in mah hot pocket?
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"Go stuff that pie hole you fat idiot Tyra!"
4/29/08 Random kid on the train.
They are totally gonna get back together and then he'll knock up some hooker on their wedding night or something.
*crosses fingers*
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -LA
You only live once, so you might as well eat tasty shit. -MK
christine the hoff:
Y'all wanna put your Good N Plenty in my puddin' panties?
?&!
"I just watch porn I don't masturbate."
"Just be advised Nicky half of these bitches are mean so be careful dear."
"LOVE ANGELINA"
aw, I miss crank yankers
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"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Bradiful
this shit writes itself.
"Ya'll wanna put your almmond joy in my mounds?"
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"This IS Marge's bra! I brought it for her boobs!"
Homer S.
christine the hoff on May 8, 2008 - 1:02pm.
hahahahahahhahahaha
I'm so going to hell, but this is funny shit.
"Ya'll wanna stick your ding dong in my tuna curtains?'
- LMAO!
ASSFLAP CLAPS!!!!
NO JOKE OKAY!
?&!
"I just watch porn I don't masturbate."
"Just be advised Nicky half of these bitches are mean so be careful dear."
"LOVE ANGELINA"
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 8, 2008 - 1:05pm.
I'll bring the wienies and marshmellows, you pick up the hooch!
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"This IS Marge's bra! I brought it for her boobs!"
Homer S.
Submitted by christine the hoff on May 8, 2008 - 2:02pm.
"Ya'll wanna stick your ding dong in my tuna curtains?'
HAHAHAHA!!... gonna fry along side ya, i guess!
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"Keep on runnin' through the gates of the city.
To give up now would be such a pity.
Don't you wanna see the ship go down with me?"
~~=^-*=~~
awww Kfreak is afraid that Brit forgot how needy he is and can't wait to F up her life more.
"Ya'll wanna stick yer cheeto puff in mah dunkin donuts?"
LMAO MK!
I hope they get back together and then break up again, because it will start the engines of the old crazy train! That thing hasn't been up and running for what seems like years. I miss it.
<3-------------------------------<3
I'm jus a jellus h8tr.
hahahahahahhahahaha
I'm so going to hell, but this is funny shit.
"Ya'll wanna stick your ding dong in my tuna curtains?'
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"This IS Marge's bra! I brought it for her boobs!"
Homer S.
If we can't make Cheeto jokes about Britney what the hell sort of jokes can we make? Surely not barefeet jokes because that's against timeline-joke-rules... what about crazy jokes? Oh, no, that was a couple months ago... much too long ago to still make jokes...
Looks like we're screwed people.
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If Bigfoot came into my office and took a big shit on my desk, then told me it was my fault ‘cause I showed it a picture of food and it just HAD to eat… you best bet your ass people would be talking about it.
why are her kids up at 2am and available to speak with...still hate this skank
JimmyBocca
Sigh, has it been that long? It seems like it was just yesterday.
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No one can defend me, because I am so out there no one would ever see things from my point of view.