An Asshole And A Vagina Got Married Yesterday
Ashlee Simpson married Pete Wentz last night at her parent's douche palace in Los Angeles. I know the ban on gay marriage was lifted in California, but I didn't know we could get married already. That was fast. Congrats to these two homo tampons.
A spokesbitch told People, "We're delighted to confirm that Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson were married this evening in front of family and close friends."
Asshole wore a dress made out of toilet paper and Pete wore a tux made from guyliner. Papa Joe wore his lucky cock ring. Tony Romo wore a ball and chain aka Jessica Simpson.
Papa Joe also performed the ceremony (for real), Jessica was the maid of honor and Pete's bulldog, Hemingway, was the ring-bearer. Guests included Tony Romo (he had no choice), Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.
Expect a pregnancy announcement in 3....2......
UPDATE: OK! reports that Asshole confirmed her pregnancy to everyone at the reception. Gross.
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A shotgun wedding...LOL
Submitted by DeeDee on May 18, 2008 - 8:52am.
I predict the baby will be born wearing a hoodie, eyeliner, and long hair to cover one eye.
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LOL. Thanks for the giggle. :)
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"Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue."
Did MK go to church? Or is it a really slow gossip day? *one cricket chirping*
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Bob: Ever hear of Tourette's syndrome? Involuntarily shouting out profanities?
Leo: It's exceptionally rare.
Bob: Shit-eating son-of-a-bitch. Bastard, douch-bag, twat, numb-nuts, dickhead!
I forgot pimpdaddy was a preacher. Tacky.
Blech.
Just blech.
The two of them getting married is the only thing that could make me more interested in whether Jessica begged Romo to take her to save face.
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Out. For. A. Walk. BITCH.
Imagine the chin on that baby?
Droppin Kids Off in the Pool
that clanking sound you hear is hopefully ashley flinging off her shackles and running away from papa joe. but it could just be tony trying to gnaw off his leg again.
Damn you were right MK. I don't understand them thar Simpsons. It's ok to whore out the family, but heaven forbid you have a baby out of wedlock?
I predict the baby will be born wearing a hoodie, eyeliner, and long hair to cover one eye.
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Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin world go round. ~Queen
A spokesbitch told People, "We're delighted to confirm that Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson were married this evening in front of family and close friends."
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Somebody actually asked about it?
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The only thing that helps pass the time away
Is knowing I'll be back at Echo Beach some day
This girl's face is so ugly I seriously almost want to feel sorry for her. Nothing can ever fix that chin and it looks like her nose is trying to grow back. Not to mention that she's botoxed the shit out of herself already.
I cringed when she dyed her hair red. I'm a much better fake redhead than her and I don't look like someone's been using my hair as a maxi pad.
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Your [sic] an idiot. How is putting a scorpoin [sic] down your pants being a slut? IDIOT
I'm confused. Are we supposed to care? Cos I failed.
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I hold up a peace sign, but I carry a gun (Common)
I bet they sweated their assess off. His guyliner probably ran and her nose melted a little.
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Ghost of a Texas Ladies' Man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69BozyMnVSg