Two Dumb Sluts In Monaco
Gross. They already annoy the fuck out of me and they haven't even been together for a month. I'm surprised they've lasted this long. Can't they just keep their nastiness indoors and spare us all! Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong arrived in Monaco together for the Formula 1 Grand Prix.
The two sluts bags left their hotel today and got on a boat. Unfortunately, the boat didn't sink. I know, such hate. I can't help it. This is what they do to me.
Kate really needs to spend a few hours in the mirror, examining her laugh. Bitch looks fug when she laughs. She looks like she's smelling a rancid fart that she created. We all should examine our laughs in the mirror. Shit, I have spent many a night working on my "laugh face," "eating face" and "yawn face."
Here's more pics of Kate and Lance skeezing it up in Monaco.
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Submitted by joe shmoe on May 25, 2008 - 11:19pm.
see ya, joe!!
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"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me
I'm not anti-religion, religion is anti-me
I'm not anti-tradition, tradition is anti-me
I'm not anti-anything, I just wanna be free"
Nite Socky, TV, ESE (if you're still here) and anyone else lurking. I'm on east coast time, so it's beddy-bye for me.
Have a good night!
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 25, 2008 - 11:13pm.
i caught d-a just after i Temazepam'd myself to get some sleep... only got in a "hi and bye"... she's a sweety!.... where would one buy high grade cat-nip... ya know, just in case
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Uh...the kind they make in Canada..is considered very high-grade, premium quality catnip. Yeah, believe it or not..Canada!
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 25, 2008 - 11:11pm.
And why go to med school for 8 years, just to be surrounded by assholes? There's a strip joint 3 blocks from my house!
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on May 25, 2008 - 11:11pm.
Why, thank you! I am well, I just barbecued for 30 today, now I'm drinking for 31.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Manimal5 on May 25, 2008 - 11:06pm.
^^^^^^^^
Okay so there is a bike-fondling dude, a picknick table screwer and a car screwer? Damn, what kind of a messed up world do we live in? I am going to go and console myself with a cold Modelo......
My next door neighbor was looking at his leaf blower with loving eyes......Hmmmmmm.
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We caught our housekeeper sitting on the washer...a look of ecstasy on her face...saying..Oui, Oui, Oui! I don't think she meant she had to go pee.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on May 25, 2008 - 11:05pm.
i caught d-a just after i Temazepam'd myself to get some sleep... only got in a "hi and bye"... she's a sweety!.... where would one buy high grade cat-nip... ya know, just in case
-----------------------------
"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me
I'm not anti-religion, religion is anti-me
I'm not anti-tradition, tradition is anti-me
I'm not anti-anything, I just wanna be free"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 25, 2008 - 11:07pm.
***********
You know, sometimes when I see a particularly hygiene-challenged man I think of procotologists and what a wretched, wretched job they have.
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You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 25, 2008 - 11:01pm.
btw, I referred to a proctologist as a starfish wrangler today, am I spending too much time on Dlisted?
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You're not spending enough time here. We sometimes wait in the wings - waiting for you to show up and as usual, your dead on remarks result in us falling off barstools, couches, beds, etc. laughing our asses off.
*sock monkey hug and smooch*
How are you TV? Have you mentioned your skills as an implant wrangler?
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Manimal5 on May 25, 2008 - 11:06pm.
He's from Norway, it's really called a Leif blower.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Manimal5 on May 25, 2008 - 11:06pm.
My next door neighbor was looking at his leaf blower with loving eyes......Hmmmmmm.
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Mine was squatting over his lawn mower this afternoon panting. Should I be nervous? *running downstairs to bolt all doors*
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by Manimal5 on May 25, 2008 - 11:06pm.
i'm worried about my neighbor that's been whispering sweet nothings to a wood chipper
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"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me
I'm not anti-religion, religion is anti-me
I'm not anti-tradition, tradition is anti-me
I'm not anti-anything, I just wanna be free"
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 25, 2008 - 11:04pm.
And don't ask how proctology happened to come up at the dinner table. My family, what a bunch of assholes...
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by VooDooVixen on May 25, 2008 - 11:03pm.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on May 25, 2008 - 8:00pm.
^^^^^^^^
Okay so there is a bike-fondling dude, a picknick table screwer and a car screwer? Damn, what kind of a messed up world do we live in? I am going to go and console myself with a cold Modelo......
My next door neighbor was looking at his leaf blower with loving eyes......Hmmmmmm.
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Submitted by ESE on May 25, 2008 - 10:59pm.
great, now i got a monkey that's gonna have a dead-actress shoot me... next thing ya know i'll be being fed to a certain tiger that shall remain nameless!!LOL!
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Aw...you know DA! She's as sweet as she is beautiful, especially with a derringer under that garter! Maybe she'll show tonight. She worries & fusses over you. I just hope you rest. And if you drink..you gotta share! lol
As for the *whispering* tiger...well, a bag of high grade catnip goes a loooong way with that beauty.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by VooDooVixen on May 25, 2008 - 11:03pm.
You should have seen the way my toaster was eyeing me today, then you's understand.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 25, 2008 - 11:01pm.
***********
*falling of chair laughing*
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
My brother Steve's wife, Linda, is 4'9". Today she was talking about how she can't seem to lose weight, and how she was 90 lbs when they got married and now she's 135. I looked at her and said "what? that's a 50 percent increase! Steve's paycheck hasn't even increased 50 percent since then!"
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 25, 2008 - 11:01pm.
am I spending too much time on Dlisted?
aahh, the age old question... to be on Dlisted or not to be on Dlisted
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"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me
I'm not anti-religion, religion is anti-me
I'm not anti-tradition, tradition is anti-me
I'm not anti-anything, I just wanna be free"
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on May 25, 2008 - 8:00pm.
^^^^^^^^
Okay so there is a bike-fondling dude, a picknick table screwer and a car screwer? Damn, what kind of a messed up world do we live in? I am going to go and console myself with a cold Modelo......
~~To achieve true happiness, find a cause bigger than yourself.....~~
~~Nothing screams "Haute Couture" like prison tattoos~~
Submitted by VooDooVixen on May 25, 2008 - 11:01pm
*************
No shit!! Plus she and Sheryl Crow are best buds...(cue the spooky music!)
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
btw, I referred to a proctologist as a starfish wrangler today, am I spending too much time on Dlisted?
***********************************************
My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 25, 2008 - 7:59pm.
^^^^^^
You described Jenny Aniston to a T! So surprised he hasn't gone after her yet!!!!!!!!!
~~To achieve true happiness, find a cause bigger than yourself.....~~
~~Nothing screams "Haute Couture" like prison tattoos~~
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 25, 2008 - 10:59pm.
only if she shares... yeah, i don't think that's gonna happen either!
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"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me
I'm not anti-religion, religion is anti-me
I'm not anti-tradition, tradition is anti-me
I'm not anti-anything, I just wanna be free"
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 25, 2008 - 10:53pm.
Is that the same guy who has "anal" sex with cars?!?!?!?!?!?!
oohh, nnooo!... don't mix him up with the freaks!!LOL!!
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No, I think he's related to the "I fuck picnic tables" guy.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 25, 2008 - 10:59pm.
Tony?
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
The woman that Lance A dated after Sheryl Crow - Tory Birch (?I think) looks *very* similar to Crow. Blonde, slender, kind of pretty/boyish features, big chin..I guess he has a *type*.
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on May 25, 2008 - 10:56pm.
great, now i got a monkey that's gonna have a dead-actress shoot me... next thing ya know i'll be being fed to a certain tiger that shall remain nameless!!LOL!
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"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me
I'm not anti-religion, religion is anti-me
I'm not anti-tradition, tradition is anti-me
I'm not anti-anything, I just wanna be free"
Okay, looks like we have some investigating and homework to do:
1) Is Lance Romance sporting a neuticle?
2) Is Sheryl sporting a leathery taint?
This is your mission, should you choose to accept it.........good luck and stay safe..........this tape will self destruct in 10 seconds.......
~~To achieve true happiness, find a cause bigger than yourself.....~~
~~Nothing screams "Haute Couture" like prison tattoos~~
Submitted by VooDooVixen on May 25, 2008 - 10:54pm.
Agreed, that's why I think of her taint often.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 25, 2008 - 10:52pm.
Great, now I have the image of Sheryl Crow's wrinkled, leathery taint stuck in my head. As usual.
go to your safe place!
OT: uumm, well... i guess it isn't that bad, i mean.. she will be off to the next guy next week, right?
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"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me
I'm not anti-religion, religion is anti-me
I'm not anti-tradition, tradition is anti-me
I'm not anti-anything, I just wanna be free"
Submitted by VooDooVixen on May 25, 2008 - 10:54pm
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Yeh I agree. She seemed pretty cut up when he backed out of their wedding, but Jesus she must be thanking her lucky stars now that it didn't happen. He's a major skank.
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by ESE on May 25, 2008 - 10:46pm.
hi, socky!!... yeah, lil bit of sleep, back to the regular programing of drinking heavily(hey, i gotta stick with my strengths!)... *kiss on the Bozo fur free hand*
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*little sock monkey hands on hips* *scowling* Listen, Mr. Man! You take care of yourself! You hear me?! *big hug* I mean it..*teary eyed* Or I'm telling DA...she carries a derringer, you know.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
TV-
There is also a huge mole on Sheryl Crow's taint. Lance's one good ball has been spreading rumors. It has become bored ever since his friend died and was replaced with a neutical!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Leave Britney alone. She is my favorite. She will still rocks.
Sheryl Crow is in good condition........I picture her with a major tan line and her taint prolly doesn't see the light of day.......therefore it would not be "leathery".
Sheryl is a great person who was waaaaaaaaaaay too good for Mr. Lance Romance...........
~~To achieve true happiness, find a cause bigger than yourself.....~~
~~Nothing screams "Haute Couture" like prison tattoos~~
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 25, 2008 - 9:52pm.
Great, now I have the image of Sheryl Crow's wrinkled, leathery taint stuck in my head. As usual.
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Godamnit all! Now this really paints a visual. You have painted her taint. Oh, how tainted a taint can be when painted.
L♥VE,
PCA
"Michael K does not like when Lily Allen refers to herself in the third person. This makes Michael K cry." - MK 04/15/08
"May 14, 2008 - I think Marlon Brando is M.K.'s dad." - Stock Broker
Submitted by VooDooVixen on May 25, 2008 - 10:51pm.
Is that the same guy who has "anal" sex with cars?!?!?!?!?!?!
oohh, nnooo!... don't mix him up with the freaks!!LOL!!
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"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me
I'm not anti-religion, religion is anti-me
I'm not anti-tradition, tradition is anti-me
I'm not anti-anything, I just wanna be free"
Submitted by Poison Candy Apple on May 25, 2008 - 10:49pm.
Great, now I have the image of Sheryl Crow's wrinkled, leathery taint stuck in my head. As usual.
***********************************************
My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 25, 2008 - 10:47pm.
You'll need to ask that guy who canoodled WITH a 10 speed.
^^^^^^^^^6
Is that the same guy who has "anal" sex with cars?!?!?!?!?!?!
~~To achieve true happiness, find a cause bigger than yourself.....~~
~~Nothing screams "Haute Couture" like prison tattoos~~
Submitted by VooDooVixen on May 25, 2008 - 10:47pm
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Heeeheee. That reminds me of that immortal George Costanza line, when asked if he'd ever said 'I love you to anyone'.."When I was a kid, I said 'I love you' to my dog. He sat down and started licking himself".
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 25, 2008 - 10:47pm.
You'll need to ask that guy who canoodled WITH a 10 speed.
***********************************************
My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Sensimina on May 25, 2008 - 8:55pm.
Lance's ball has had a hard time of it...from constantly being smashed into a bike seat, losing it's friend to cancer, slapping against Sheryl Crow's taint...have some sympathy for poor thing
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OMFG... this made me laugh so fucking hard.
The thought of one lonely ball slapping against Sheryl Crow's taint is just a visual that is just-...ah! Someone bleach my visuals!
L♥VE,
PCA
"Michael K does not like when Lily Allen refers to herself in the third person. This makes Michael K cry." - MK 04/15/08
"May 14, 2008 - I think Marlon Brando is M.K.'s dad." - Stock Broker
http://www.intimatemingle.com
plus I'm tire of this girl...What has she done? really! what has she done to even post her picture here?..i havent seen any of her movies!... I met her on ***I n t i m a t e m i n g l e. c o m**** where i sent an email to her with a wink response.. . She is very hot there, you also can find many black and white single men on that community
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 25, 2008 - 10:41pm.
I just hope they weren't canoodling. That would suck.
how does one canoodle on a ten speed?... wait, don't answer that!!
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"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me
I'm not anti-religion, religion is anti-me
I'm not anti-tradition, tradition is anti-me
I'm not anti-anything, I just wanna be free"
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 25, 2008 - 7:27pm.
Nueticles, uniballs..why by the way would a dog care if he looked ball-less?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I don't think the dogs "care" per say.......but they still need something to lick.......
~~To achieve true happiness, find a cause bigger than yourself.....~~
~~Nothing screams "Haute Couture" like prison tattoos~~
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on May 25, 2008 - 10:33pm.
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OMG Socky that is so funny! My parents just had their puppy neutered. My step-father makes a lot of comments (IN FRONT OF THE DOG) about his *surgery* which I think is pretty emasculating. I'm definitely going to mention the neuticle to them. I wonder if it would stop his obsessive human leg humping..
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
In the 3rd thumbnail, he's giving her a look like "bitch, I want you dead!"
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on May 25, 2008 - 10:42pm.
hi, socky!!... yeah, lil bit of sleep, back to the regular programing of drinking heavily(hey, i gotta stick with my strengths!)... *kiss on the Bozo fur free hand*
OT: i'll think of something, sooner or later
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"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me
I'm not anti-religion, religion is anti-me
I'm not anti-tradition, tradition is anti-me
I'm not anti-anything, I just wanna be free"
Submitted by ESE on May 25, 2008 - 10:37pm.
really and truly, i couldn't give a shite who or what she does these days... i got another "Black Crowes" album out of her divorce, that's all i needed
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ESE! *holding out little sock monkey hand a la DA* Uh...I did use a lint roller, by the way! *sock monkey hug and BIG smooch*
Did you sleep? I'm worried about you.
ON T: Dumbo and the Uniball!
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
I just hope they weren't canoodling. That would suck.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.