This Woman Is Married To The Berlin Wall
54-year-old Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer of Sweden claims to have been married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years. Her surname translates into English as Berlin Wall. Clever. NOT.
Eija said she's been diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality. Basically, she likes to do sexay times with inanimate objects. She has never had sex with a human. She should try fucking any of the dudes on "The Bachelor." They are as wooden as they come.
She first fell in love with the wall when she was just 7-years-old. She visited it 5 times before marrying it in 1979 in front of a few guests.
She said, "I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy. The Great Wall of China's attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier." I hope she covers her chocha in metal when she gets freaky with her man. I hear his dick is solid as a rock! No mortal vagina can handle it.
When the wall was torn down in 1989, Eija's heart broke. She said, “What they did was awful. They mutilated my husband." She still keeps models of her husband when he was in his prime.
This woman needs to meet the dude that has fucked 1,000 cars. They have a lot to talk about.
Visit her website to learn more
Thanks Kayla
• 
I thought that the 1000 car dude and this woman were fucked up at first, but then I realized that maybe they are on to something. My last boyfriend turned out to be such a horrible, psycho, scumbag that a wall or a car are looking pretty good to me right now. Hello, are there any nice, single Aston Martins out there looking for a good time in a non-committed relationship?
Submitted by juni on May 28, 2008 - 2:48am.
But her husband is not a good listener. It's like talking to a wall.
LMAO!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were robbed!
_Submitted by missy on May 28, 2008 - 9:25am.
Is the wall lady Beige Baby?
Quick grab my night vision goggles, Ima go stalkin some cats!
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bitch is nuts. she also has a page on that website devoted to her other family members: her cats.
wall for a husband and cats. oh - kay.
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"Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
hahahahaha this is hillarious. (sips coffee). i needed this since its a rainy day in the jungle. hmmm my organic sesame sticks are looking hot after reading this..hmmm. hahahaha
http://www.myspace.com/chirispanks
the c word...
maybe in a sugarcube, but not at that site!
•·.·´¯`·.·•chefcammi•·.·´¯`·.·•
"We'll dance in the garden in torn sheets in the rain"
Submitted by sugarmingle.com on May 28, 2008 - 8:31am.
She’s so pretty. I love her smile very much. A few days ago, I saw her at the rich dating club " !!! .Sugar mingle. c o m " she posted a nice profile there. Seems she is looking for a nice guy for serious relationships.
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Somehow I doubt she'd be interested.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The only thing that helps pass the time away
Is knowing I'll be back at Echo Beach some day
http://www.sugarmingle.com
She’s so pretty. I love her smile very much. A few days ago, I saw her at the rich dating club " !!! .Sugar mingle. c o m " she posted a nice profile there. Seems she is looking for a nice guy for serious relationships.
I take a few days off and come back to this story? WTF?
That link has to be a joke! I can't believe that lady posted about sexy times with her bible!
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"YOU CRACKHEAD BITCH! 25 cents is a quarter! But you need more than that to fix your overcast teefs!" - MK
She is so strange and so hot!!she even uploaded her sexy videos on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named **LovingRich.com**...does she want to hook up with hot guys.
She is so strange and so hot!!she even uploaded her sexy videos on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named **LovingRich.com**...does she want to hook up with hot guys.
"If another bridge collapses for no apparent reason, somebody check to see if wall humper is around."
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaaaaaaaaa!
getting coffee and will now have to read entire thread
•·.·´¯`·.·•chefcammi•·.·´¯`·.·•
"We'll dance in the garden in torn sheets in the rain"
I just knew this thread would be hilarious this morning. Thank you, you twisted little NC for giving me a chuckle with my coffee.
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You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
But her husband is not a good listener. It's like talking to a wall.
http://www.intimatemingle.com
LoL/ She is really sexy!!!I have ever seen her hot video at+(((+I n t i m a t e m i n g l e. c o m+))))+which is a niche interracial dating site for all singles. She is really sexy with bikini in that video. You will know how passionate interracial kiss is after joined
I'm glad to hear there's someone more fucked up than I am.
@PSL, ***decided to edit that out. Cannot encourage crazies***
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No comment!
LMFAO
Deb, I think that would be my List Order as well!
I looooooove my Bed.
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"Look, it's terrible, I know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, I look at it and I go: I think I'll just kick it."
- Jodie Foster
Movers were supposed to be here in San Antonio today but truck broke down in Houston so tomorrow? I hope. I miss my bed.
For inanimates to love this is my order:
My Bed (I have an extremely intimate relationship with this one)
My Computer (I LOVE to stroke my keyboard)
My Books (Serial Killers turn me on)
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No comment!
Have to admit. I am kinda fickle. "No splinters and the dude asks for nothing in return", that is now my idea of a perfect date!
I am giving my foot cast the sexay eyes now but he is not responding. Must be playing hard to get.
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No comment!
Deb, a pier? LOL
how's travels?
I wonder if there is an Annual Convention for Objectum Sex Addicts at The Great Wall of China?
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"Look, it's terrible, I know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, I look at it and I go: I think I'll just kick it."
- Jodie Foster
Submitted by DebFrmHell on May 28, 2008 - 12:10am.
and you probably never called or went fishing again, right?... user!
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"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view.
Hope your dreams will all come true"
I thought I had heard it all, but this is the weirdest shit ever!
The last time I snuggled up to something warm and damp it was a pier. Does that make me a "perv" if I didn't say I love you afterwards?
roflmfao
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No comment!
Submitted by DebFrmHell on May 27, 2008 - 11:56pm.
Hi Deb'
LOL When it comes to love and sex there ARE no boundaries I guess.
If another bridge collapses for no apparent reason, somebody check to see if wall humper is around.
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Submitted by Mr. President on May 27, 2008 - 11:58pm.
Maybe after she's hit all the walls, she'll move on to the dikes (About to make Lindsay joke, stepping away from keyboard).
Lindsay's got them covered... had to do it... just... had... to do it!
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"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view.
Hope your dreams will all come true"
Submitted by Manimal5 on May 27, 2008 - 11:53pm.
Hey Mr. P
After she grinded him down to dust she had to look for another poor wall. Another sucker
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Maybe after she's hit all the walls, she'll move on to the dikes (About to make tasteless Lindsay joke, stepping away from keyboard).
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Yeah!!! I like using the word dude. It saves me from actually having to think.
@Manny
Gotthard tunnel? I love the name of the longest tunnel I could find...57 kilometers. Could find out how wide it was however.
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No comment!
ya know, there's 3 parts to "Another Brick in the Wall"... stamina
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"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view.
Hope your dreams will all come true"
Submitted by Mr. President on May 27, 2008 - 11:36pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on May 27, 2008 - 11:28pm.
LOL. I wonder if when she says to her husband that "this relationship has hit the wall" he asks "which wall are you hitting now?"
Hey Mr. P
After she grinded him down to dust she had to look for another poor wall. Another sucker
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Submitted by Manimal5 on May 27, 2008 - 11:47pm.
yeah, that's understandable, i think of Brit whenever i see a wet dog
OT: is graffiti considered a meaningful conversation?
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"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view.
Hope your dreams will all come true"
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 27, 2008 - 11:30pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on May 27, 2008 - 11:28pm.
well, who could give up the dream of "having" a white picket fence?
LOL. This girl likes them big I guess.
I've been through a couple of tunnels that reminded me of Shitney.
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"She still keeps models of her husband when he was in his prime".
I have a model of my exes in his prime too but not it is made a rubber and comes with batteries. Very...ummm...linear but still attractive. Plus I don't have to listen to him whine about his day. ++++'s all the way around.
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No comment!
will SOMEBODY get a tarp?... that wall is naked
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"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view.
Hope your dreams will all come true"
Submitted by Manimal5 on May 27, 2008 - 11:28pm.
LOL. I wonder if when she says to her husband that "this relationship has hit the wall" he asks "which wall are you hitting now?"
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Yeah!!! I like using the word dude. It saves me from actually having to think.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 27, 2008 - 8:30pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on May 27, 2008 - 11:28pm.
well, who could give up the dream of "having" a white picket fence?
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HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
fan-fucking-tastic comment, sir.
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"Look, it's terrible, I know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, I look at it and I go: I think I'll just kick it."
- Jodie Foster
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 27, 2008 - 11:31pm.
kickbacks, i tell ya, kickbacks!!
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"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view.
Hope your dreams will all come true"
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on May 27, 2008 - 11:19pm.
I'm from Jersey, the stripclubs don't have billboards, they do leave their flyers down at the free clinic though (so I've heard).
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Manimal5 on May 27, 2008 - 11:28pm.
well, who could give up the dream of "having" a white picket fence?
-----------------------------
"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view.
Hope your dreams will all come true"
Submitted by Sheeps on May 27, 2008 - 10:25pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 27, 2008 - 8:22pm.
My DVD player totally wants me
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No kidding Sheeps, she's totally been playing porn on purpose to arouse you...Oh, I know how these sexy objects work, it's not your fault. That DVD player wants it hard and dirty, make no mistake....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by parissucksliterally on May 27, 2008 - 11:28pm
sooo glad i'm not hip
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"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view.
Hope your dreams will all come true"
Hi PSL! Is this the "real" PSL? I'm about to sit down to din so chat later.
ONT: Mr. Gorbachev. Erect more walls.
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
On her website she claims she sexually attracted to fences and bridges. I think she's cheated on Berlin Wall. Two-timing slut.
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ESE:
Bestiality- it's the next Big Thing...
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"Look, it's terrible, I know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, I look at it and I go: I think I'll just kick it."
- Jodie Foster
Submitted by intimatemingle.com on May 27, 2008 - 11:25pm.
"hooott"?... geezus, owl dating spam?!?!
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"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view.
Hope your dreams will all come true"
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 27, 2008 - 8:22pm.
My DVD player totally wants me.
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
http://www.intimatemingle.com
I have viewed many hooott SEX SEX videos and photos at ___ I n t i m a t e m i n g l e. c o m____ >>> where many fans are together, also i'v meet kinds of black and white single men who are hunger for true love online :)
Submitted by parissucksliterally on May 27, 2008 - 11:22pm.
hi, PSL, all!!
OT: is sexay music "The Wall"?
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"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view.
Hope your dreams will all come true"
Submitted by FritoDorito on May 27, 2008 - 6:10pm.
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on May 27, 2008 - 6:08pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on May 27, 2008 - 7:02pm.
I'm married to the Eiffel Tower. Beat that, bitch.
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Whore.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Dayum, the Eiffel Tower seems like he'd be kind of... rough... make you very sore for a couple of days after. Ouch.
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Yeah, but you know what they say, once you go Jacques, you never go back. I can't help myself.
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥
The world is full of little people like you
They have to read a book to learn what to do