Friday, May 30th 2008
A Horse Is A Horse....
It was bound to happen. Somebody launched a website called SarahJessicaParkerLooksLikeAHorse.com. We need to call Peta, because this shit is horse abuse! How dare they compare those innocent horsies to her annoying ass. Demeaning!
If you're planning on seeing the SATC movie this weekend, you might save your 10 (12?) clams and spend a few minutes on SJPLH.com instead. After reading the movie's reviews, this website might prove to be a little more entertaining.
Yeah, I'm still going to see that hag and vag show. I'm praying for a Rojo Caliente cameo. I know it's not going to happen, but let a homo dream.
Thanks Becki
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Submitted by dead-actress on May 31, 2008 - 12:29am.
*kiss on the palm*... doin' dandy, dahlin'! can't stay though, gotta work on that whole sleep thing
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"Don't it gratify when you see it materialize
Right in front of your eyes
That surprise...
And they'll lay you down low and easy"
Sarah's husband Matthew must be sick, he said he was feeling a little horse tonight.
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Submitted by ESE on May 31, 2008 - 12:22am.
d-a and TV... you meanies!!... HAHAHAHA!
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*holding out lint free hand* Hello, Mr. Man! *soft kiss on cheek* How are you this evening and have you slept?
ON T: Put a saddle on the bitch and she's good to go.
"Anything you can't get out of a bottle of vodka, you don't need."..........
Ava Gardner......
d-a and TV... you meanies!!... HAHAHAHA!
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"Don't it gratify when you see it materialize
Right in front of your eyes
That surprise...
And they'll lay you down low and easy"
Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on May 31, 2008 - 12:04am.
This is not funny anymore. Think about how it must feel to be her. She can't help the fact that she doesn't look like a model. She's just trying to act. Meanies! I could see if they made fun of something she could control or if she deserved to be made fun of because of a crappy or mean personality.
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Okay..let's go with she has a crappy personality and happens to look like Mr. Ed. Also..her ego is the size of a Clydesdale. Does that work for you?
"Anything you can't get out of a bottle of vodka, you don't need."..........
Ava Gardner......
Submitted by Gigi-A-GoGo on May 31, 2008 - 12:04am.
Maybe she should have chosen a different line of work then, I hear that Budweiser always needs more Clydesdales.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
This is not funny anymore. Think about how it must feel to be her. She can't help the fact that she doesn't look like a model. She's just trying to act. Meanies! I could see if they made fun of something she could control or if she deserved to be made fun of because of a crappy or mean personality.
.
which one is the horse?
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my new ringtone...hotness...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsW58hO8Mok
Man, I swear she looks like Nicolas Cage in drag. WHORSE is more I like it.
You know horses around the globe are feeling the insult at this comparison. Riders will be feeling the pain...Trust.
"Anything you can't get out of a bottle of vodka, you don't need."..........
Ava Gardner......
She is one ugly bitch.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
sjp smiles a lot. she seems to be a happy and friendly person. I never saw satc and so am not interested in the movie. but when she was on project runway everyone was super excited to see her. in his blog jay mccarol said she was nice when he met her (at a fashion show, I think).
Don't get mad at me Joey re: hospital food, but c'mon, it is...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 30, 2008 - 9:01pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 30, 2008 - 9:59pm
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Yeh she is kinda fug, but she has a certain je ne sais quoi..Beauty is highly over-rated IMO and once it starts fading you'd better have a back-plan (my granny used to say)
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Amen sister, the French have a word for it, I believe it's jolie-laide, (correct me if I'm wrong Frenchies) which translates literally as pretty(and)ugly...I think that sums up a lot of us ho's....not conventionally purty, but we do have a lil' sompin' sompin'...Oh, shutup, you DListed ho's, you know you want this....*rubbing tiger tits*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 10:00pm.
Betsy Ross sewed up her 1st g-string.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 10:00pm
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Or with the Marquis de Sade.
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You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
sheeps~ No, he isnt going, but Im going with a bunch of girls. He knows its a sack of shit movie for men, and hes smart enough to stay away unless you are a gay man.
Gotta jet, my love...Have a super evening, Sheeps! Hug that Trouble for me~
xoxoxox,
BB
**Fasten your Sock Slots, it's about to get worse.** BRADIFUL BITCH ~~
Joe, I think Estelle may even have studied with Voltaire.
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
@ Joe,
I totally forgot that SJP effed JFK jr...Good for her! I consider her kinda fug, and I'm kinda fug, so I say WOOOHOOO for the fugs snaggin' a hottie for a little sausage stuffed clam action...mmmm, mmmm, all for that...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 9:56pm.
Sorry, didn't mean to turn interspecies erotica into something disgusting.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 30, 2008 - 9:53pm.
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Oh TV *trying not to giggle*. It's ok. Look everyone has their little quirks. Mature women can be a reward unto themselves. Just think of Estelle as having a PH.d in the art of love.
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You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 30, 2008 - 6:52pm.
And the best part is that now your dick smells like bacon, so you stand a good chance of making Brit break curfew.
hahaha. Ew and ewwwww.
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on May 30, 2008 - 9:52pm
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Awww that is cute.
Ok back on topic: Ummmmm. Remember when SJP had that fling with JFK Jr?..now there's an odd couple.
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You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 30, 2008 - 9:50pm.
I can't NOT picture her playing with a sex toy. I have issues.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 9:50pm.
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Hahahaha! And you Sheeps - what a valiant effort. God loves a trier.
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 30, 2008 - 8:45pm.
Tiger did I read the other day that you have a little cub? That means they mated you at the zoo? I hate to be gauche, but how does that work? Did they foist some toothless old rent-a-stud on you and leave you two alone for a few hours? I mean, do you have any say in the matter..I mean..if you don't mind saying..
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It's an adopted tiger cub, one of those midget cats you humans are so fond of...It's an experiment from zoo officials to see if I'll eat "my own"....What do I want with a midget cat? That's a snack, tops. I mean, could be tasty, but the little fucker is more cuddlely than anything else...Aww, come here lil' tiger..;-)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 9:50pm.
And the best part is that now your dick smells like bacon, so you stand a good chance of making Brit break curfew.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Cute website, but if you REALLY wanna see a hilarious human/animal comparison, check out this site:
http://bushorchimp.com
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 30, 2008 - 9:47pm.
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I love Estelle Getty. Although I can't picture her playing with a sex toy. I mean if she was a character in SATC. Oh shit you know what I mean.
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 30, 2008 - 6:48pm.
More like porky and alert.
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
Well, holy fuck. I miss Mr. Ed.
Pointless post, I know but I do. I'm an old lady for fuck sake. Give me some room. Gotta maneuver the walker and cuss like a mofo cuz my fuckin' bones are creakin'.
@Sheeps: Is that your porn avie for the NC? I always thought that the pig looked so perky and alert. Like she's thinking "Give it your best shot, Mister Man"
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 30, 2008 - 9:41pm.
Kim Cattrall looks like the cryptkeeper in a dress, they should've gotten someone younger, like Estelle Getty.
***********************************************
My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Tiger did I read the other day that you have a little cub? That means they mated you at the zoo? I hate to be gauche, but how does that work? Did they foist some toothless old rent-a-stud on you and leave you two alone for a few hours? I mean, do you have any say in the matter..I mean..if you don't mind saying..
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 30, 2008 - 6:41pm.
That totally makes sense, because they look like gay men in dresses.
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 9:39pm.
Buttered popcorn, ladies?
Nawwwwwwww. I prefer that flavoured 'instant coronary' liquid coconut oil shit. Butter shmutter.
BUT
You can butter my biscuit and call me a butt!
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 9:39pm
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Who yur callin' a lady?
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
I watched half an episode of SATC and thought it sounded like it was written by a gay man. (Please don't throw tomatoes. I love gay men, none more than our beloved MK) I just thought the characters acted and spoke like gay men in dresses.
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 9:36pm
Definitely avoid, I hear that Lorena Bobbitt totally steals the movie when she steals away Mr. Big.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by joe shmoe on May 30, 2008 - 6:39pm.
Buttered popcorn, ladies?
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 9:36pm
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Nothing a good weave & wax and a set C cups wouldn't fix. Then you could sit with all the gals and see what all the fuss is about.
***************
You know where you are?
You're in the jungle baby..
Submitted by Team Valtrex on May 30, 2008 - 6:33pm.
Mrs K had a good point about all the women packed in the theaters this weekend. I'd like to test her theory but I'm not that secure in my sexuality.
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 8:15pm.
I'd go see the movie but, as a guy, I'm worried that the other movie-goers would quickly grow tired of my grumbling and snoring, not to mention the mess when I eventually hung myself.
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*buying Sheeps a ticket*....Mmmmmm...does anyone smell Sheeps stew? Delicious....
Oh, I keed, Sheeps, I keed...You know I love you...and your loin chops served with a garlic mint balsamic vinager reduction....Wait, did I type that last part out loud?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sheeps on May 30, 2008 - 9:15pm.
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I'd go with you, but I heard Sarah Jessica Parker sprained her ankle at the end and they had to take her out back and shoot her, and I can't watch any movie where animals WERE hurt during the filming.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on May 30, 2008 - 6:24pm.
OK, thanks. I guess he's not going either?
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on May 30, 2008 - 6:37pm.
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on May 30, 2008 - 5:29pm.
DX3~
"I don't think all women need to be 6 feet tall, a size 4 and have a snub nose, blue eyes and platinum hair to be attractive."
I do, because I am.
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Girl, I know you are a stunner! And I am all of the above except a 4. *whispers 12*
But I still appreciate all shades of beauty!
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Dx3....We blondes have to stick together. Thx, my little hottie you~
xoxoxox,
BB
**Fasten your Sock Slots, it's about to get worse.** BRADIFUL BITCH ~~
Sheeps!!!!! you sound like my hubby! LMFAO!!!
Sorry I havent been on MS. I cath you this weekend, ok?
xoxoxoxo,
BB
**Fasten your Sock Slots, it's about to get worse.** BRADIFUL BITCH ~~
I'd go see the movie but, as a guy, I'm worried that the other movie-goers would quickly grow tired of my grumbling and snoring, not to mention the mess when I eventually hung myself.
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My name is Jessica. Some kids call me a slut. And I have a dirty habit for Ecstasy.
Submitted by Millie on May 30, 2008 - 9:04pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I mean this with ♥...fuck you.I am a jeliz h8ter right now,I want to see that movie really BADLY!!!
Thanks for the summary.♥
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"I bet the chief has a bushy moustache. They all do."~~~MK~~~