He's Driving Her Car.....
Jennifer Aniston is already dickmatized! Good dick makes you do stupid things like give up your car keys to the douche you're boning.
John Mayer was driving around in Jenny's SUV today. He ended up back at her place with an overnight bag. I bet you he didn't even fill up the gas and left a wet spot on her driver's seat! What's next? She's going to let him piss with the seat down? I must admit that pissing with the seat down is great fun because it splashes everywhere like a pretty fountain.
In other FerMan news, the two are planning on getting matching tattoos! A source said, “John had the idea that they should both have a ‘J’ tattooed in a secret place as that is both their first initial. Jennifer is really keen on the idea but is going to wait a few months. He said she’s in great shape and her skin is like a baby’s bottom."
She totally burst into tears when he said the word "baby." I guess Courtney Cox forgot to tell him that word must never be used around Jen. NEVER!
Jen wake the fuck up! This douche uses ladies to further his "career". He will dump her ass for a younger,hotter chick.
Submitted by Jenfraud on June 5, 2008 - 8:46am.
Douchefer! Perfect! It rhymes with LUCIFER! Don't know about John Mayer but that's perfect for Aniston who pretends to fit the manufactured "sweet" image, all the while is conniving, manipulative and baby-hating. Hey she would probably eat kids if that would get her youth back. Douchefer = Lucifer indeed.
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jealousy really doesn't become you. Why are you sooo obsessed with Jen? Seriously, you sound like a bitter ex roommate or something. I shake my had at the thought of you having children. Your kids must be so proud of you...what an example they have to look up to. You're a raging nut!
He is such a cuttie. Just saw his profile on millionairedating site """"""W e a l t h y R o m a n c e. co m"""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site..?′ˉ`?-><-?′ˉ`?..?′ˉ`?-><-?′ˉ`?..?′ˉ`?->.?′ˉ`?-><-?′
That's ok
Douchefer! Perfect! It rhymes with LUCIFER! Don't know about John Mayer but that's perfect for Aniston who pretends to fit the manufactured "sweet" image, all the while is conniving, manipulative and baby-hating. Hey she would probably eat kids if that would get her youth back. Douchefer = Lucifer indeed.
I think John looks really good with the shorter hair. Damn, Jen honestly brings out the good looks in people. She did it with Vince (made him lose that hamburger meat he was packin' in the middle) and she gave Pitt style. Too bad Jolie has the reverse effect on her men!!!!!LMAO.
I think he's become slightly less douche since he hooked up with her.
I dunno. Warren Beatty fucked like a million women and then settled down. Why are people hating on them so much? They aren't hurting anyone, and seem happy.
I see the publicist shills are out full force.
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"Put down the Oreo kraikerz and quit doing the saix."
I love Jen and I am glad to see she is having a good time with this.
What a HOT couple they make.
"Stay Far From Timid, Only Make Moves When Your Hearts In It and Live The Phrase Skys The Limit" - C.W. Aka The Notorious B.I.G. (R.I.P.)
Aw - Uwish and LA/HA...BFFs, it was bound to happen. Stick together, crazies.
Douchey McDouchebag looks douchier than ever here.
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"Put down the Oreo kraikerz and quit doing the saix."
I mean "all together" on my previous post. (sigh)
of course I had the cutest boy bunny in the world as a distraction.
it sounds like they are having fun with this. it looks like they're playing it by ear.
I like jen, brad and angelina all about the same. I rarely watched friends. I wonder what impact the character she played has on how people perceive her. didn't she have some love triangle type stuff on the show? maybe people are watching the reruns then reading about her personal life and putting it altogether?
Submitted by DeeleyM on June 5, 2008 - 12:49am.
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Oh yeah, he is. He is just the douchiest. You don't have to like the name, but the man is a douche, no doubt.
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We sit side by side in every class;
Teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing
They won't last for long anyway. I bet about 6 months at the most. Two big ego's in hot lust....that's all they are.
He's soooooooo annoying, but I still would do him. What is my problem???
Well, DawnieDawnDawn, 'Douchifer' it is, then. But I still think it's a bit cruel. BTW, is he REALLY a douche? I don't know anything about him. (I must google him)
)
It's unbelievably weird to read what is most likely one person conversing back and forth with themselves.
& Mayer actually looks fuckable in the first pic, douchey but fuckable.
awww what a surprise! The troll with the twentyhundred usernames is all up Aniston. Funny how that works.
M.E.....we'll all send you telepathic messages to check DL on your newfangled technology.......lol
If your ears start ringing, you'll know what it is....
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"She thought they were getting married" Ok, let's draw straws for who gets to tell her about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!
- commenter on Defamer, re: Sarah Larson
Well, i still vote "Douchifer" since it was my baby..........
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We sit side by side in every class;
Teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing
I think 'Johnifer' sounds so much more dignified than 'Douchifer'. Not that I like either one of them, that much, but....please! A little decorum!!
Submitted by Uwish on June 5, 2008 - 12:30am.
LOL. Good night, my Evil twin. I am with you about the comments. I don't mind the catty ones but some are truly offensive and I just have to say something. I can't help it. Looking forward to seeing you around as well.
♡☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♥♡♥☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♡
I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
Wow make that triple posting fuck!
Sorry about the double posting too....
Well thats probably the reason some assumed we were the same person like I said before to the hags ( thats what I like to call them) is it that far fetched to believe that there is more than one person who can appreciate a beautiful woman rather than fucking bash her. It wouldnt bother me and i never would have said anything about a catty comment here ot there I mean fuck this site is based on that but some of the people in here just go way to fucking far with it and I find it disturbing but mostly sad and pathetic. Anyways I'm going to be checking out for the night it was nice to talk to my evil twin! I'll be seeing you around i'm sure.
Well thats probably the reason some assumed we were the same person like I said before to the hags ( thats what I like to call them) is it that far fetched to believe that there is more than one person who can appreciate a beautiful woman rather than fucking bash her. It wouldnt bother me and i never would have said anything about a catty comment here ot there I mean fuck this site is based on that but some of the people in here just go way to fucking far with it and I find it disturbing but mostly sad and pathetic. Anyways I'm going to be checking out for the night it was nice to talk to my evil twin! I'll be seeing you around i'm sure.
Well thats probably the reason some assumed we were the same person like I said before to the hags ( thats what I like to call them) is it that far fetched to believe that there is more than one person who can appreciate a beautiful woman rather than fucking bash her. It wouldnt bother me and i never would have said anything about a catty comment here ot there I mean fuck this site is based on that but some of the people in here just go way to fucking far with it and I find it disturbing but mostly sad and pathetic. Anyways I'm going to be checking out for the night it was nice to talk to my evil twin! I'll be seeing you around i'm sure.
Oh my, Douchifer is THE perfect a name for these two! It has just the right touch of prissiness and asshole blanded together.
I have been smooched by James Haven. I shall never wash my face again.
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You can't stop the BEAT!
"A little hoo-ha, a little poot-poot, hee-ha, a little foo-fah..."
Submitted by Uwish on June 5, 2008 - 12:08am.
You summed up how I feel to tee. You're so right.
♡☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♥♡♥☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♡
I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
Submitted by BEAT on June 5, 2008 - 12:15am.
Hey BEAT! good to see you! *Smooches*
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Angelina Jolie and I love each other. IF that's unusual these days, that's sad.
I always try to position myself between them when they're fucking, but alas, to no avail!
JH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are fucking awesome.
****
You can't stop the BEAT!
"A little hoo-ha, a little poot-poot, hee-ha, a little foo-fah..."
James Haven has been trying for months, to get Jen and Brad back together. James Haven calls Jen, pretending to be Brad, but caller ID really puts a hamper on things.
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Angelina Jolie and I love each other. IF that's unusual these days, that's sad.
Thanks and I dont think your an asshole either even though a lot of the hags in here obviously give you a hard time. I see your a AJ fan I think she's a beautiful woman but besides that I dont pretend to know all that much about her ulike some of the chicks here who are just so sure she's a fucking slut and bad mother. Its funny they claim people like me and you ae obsessed but their the one's who seem to be obsessed if you ask me with their displays of pure hatred for this woman that takes a lot of time and thought. I hate woman you dont know how to have self confidence and take it out on people who do and rightfully so as she should I can appreciate it they are just full of envy and hate its gross.
Thanks and I dont think your an asshole either even though a lot of the hags in here obviously give you a hard time. I see your a AJ fan I think she's a beautiful woman but besides that I dont pretend to know all that much about her ulike some of the chicks here who are just so sure she's a fucking slut and bad mother. Its funny they claim people like me and you ae obsessed but their the one's who seem to be obsessed if you ask me with their displays of pure hatred for this woman that takes a lot of time and thought. I hate woman you dont know how to have self confidence and take it out on people who do and rightfully so as she should I can appreciate it they are just full of envy and hate its gross.
Submitted by Uwish on June 4, 2008 - 11:53pm.
I remember. Don't worry about the mistaken ID thing. I never worry about it. I don't think you're an asshole either, I have seen some assholes and I don't think for second you're one.
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I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
Submitted by HEART ANGELINA on June 4, 2008 - 11:47pm.
Submitted by Uwish on June 4, 2008 - 11:40pm.
You know me already. I am actually LOVE ANGELINA. I am sure you have seen around before
Oh yeah I've heard of you in fact for awhile there people were saying that I was you oh and they had proof of this too which I found to be hilarious. I'm the new dlisted asshole.
Submitted by Uwish on June 4, 2008 - 11:40pm.
You know me already. I am actually LOVE ANGELINA. I am sure you have seen around before.
♡☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♥♡♥☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♡
I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
hey there heart angelina i've heard alot about you
Jen is just an average plain Jane. Nothing special about her. There is nothing wrong with being average, but its not to my liking for women. I think the press is stupid for making her out to be some spinster because Jen was never that. She was fucking Vince Vaughn not long after her break up. So I think the media unfairly casts people in roles they don't want to play. I couldn't be happier about this relationship for Jen, I like John Mayer and I hope like hell they work out.
♡☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♥♡♥☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♡
I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
*slides voddie down to IG*
Listen, girl, I am an old, tired ex-ho and I regret not one minute of fun.
I am sure JA is loving life.
Although Douche is kinda ick.
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We sit side by side in every class;
Teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing
DDD, seriously. Are there worse things than having your freedom (first and foremost), millions in the bank, a hot bod, etc..... sounds OK to me!!
PFFFT!
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Sláinte duine a ól.
Submitted by islandgirl on June 4, 2008 - 9:22pm.
I don't get it. She's single, she's loaded, so why not shag whoever you want to? And that goes for you too, Jennifer.
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I've said it before, I will say it again.......she is FAB! What does Jennifer care what we say about her? She DOESN'T!
She and JM are still 'Douchifer', though.
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We sit side by side in every class;
Teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing
John Meyer is not so douchey. He seems to have a sense of humor and an irreverence about himself, which are not douche-like qualities. Okay, so he's heterosexual and he wears white button-up shirts with sandals. That's a bit douchey, but more on a surface level. I'd like to speak ill of this man because I do not enjoy his music one bit, but I have stared into the soulless eyes of true douchery and this, comrades, is not it.
I'd trade places with JA in a second.....I agree with everything you said NoWords.....
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"I plan to win an Oscar. I’m very ambitious."
-Heidi Montag
Submitted by First Swamp Cas...
I've always had an attraction to douches more so when i was younger meaning i'd actually date them or "talk" to a douche. I used to talk to this guy who looked just like the king of all douches K-fed and he earned his douche title for sure he was a major dick head but a smoothe talker i'm still shocked to this day the way he could talk me into shit with just the line "hey baby" thankfully i've lived and learned and the hard working man's man's my weakness now at least they have there own cars or gas money.
I'd love it if he crashed her Range Rover because he was busy taking pictures of the paps instead of looking at the road.
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"GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A SAMMIE YOU DICK DRIP!" ~LoLo
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
I like Jennifer, too. She is attractive, has a smoking hot bod, and is rich beyond my wildest dreams. She seems to be a good and loyal person, with many close friends.
A woman does not need a man or a baby to make her a whole person.
Agreed, Aubrey: I hope for her sake she sees Mayer for what he is: a fuckbuddy.
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Actually, I'm just the President of the Dungeons and Dragons club here in town.