The Look Of Desperation
In an attempt to win over more country music fans, Jessica Simpson dragged her annoying ass to the CMA Music Festival Block Party in Nashville last night. It might just be me, but she's looking a little on the knocked up side. It could just be desperation bloat.
Jess' cuntry single, "Come on Over," isn't doing that shitty on the country charts. It debuted at No. 41 on Billboard's country single charts.
Tony Romo was not with her last night. He was too busy digging a hole to Mongolia to escape Papa Joe. UsWeekly reports that one of the main reasons for Jess and Romo splitting last month had to do with Papa asking Romo to drop his manager. Papa Joe wants to handle Romo's career. I'm sure that's not all he wants to handle.
Papa also told Romo and Jess that he will broker a deal to sell their engagement and wedding information to a magazine the way he did with Asshole and Pete.
Papa defended himself by saying, “It’s unfair to criticize me for what every manager does for his or her clients. And in this business, where people can quickly turn on you, who better than a parent to be working for his children?"
Papa might have a point, but do all managers jack into their clients' panty drawers? I'm just asking!
Wenn
She can not sing or act. She needs to get down on her knees and thank her pervert daddy for exploiting her marraige to Nick.
ImpertinentVixen - THANK YOU !!!!!
I thought I was the only one that hates that guy on that commercial - I make fun of him every time it is on with my kids... And Jess' "Just a little dab...." gets made fun of, too - every time !!!!!!
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Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on June 6, 2008 - 9:36pm.
Momus, I share your loathing of the Proactiv commercial. The dude who says, "I put it on at night and when I wake up in the morning, YOU don't have acne." I want to hurl something at the screen.
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥
The world is full of little people like you
.?′ˉ`?-><-?′ˉ`?..?′ˉ`?-><-?′ˉ`?..?′ˉ`?->.?′ˉ`?-><-?′
Oh,she is so sexy!I lose control of my love for her.I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site ----"AffluentBachelors.com" ----last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
Is it just me and my eyes are fucking with me, or does Jess look like a dead-ringer for Brooke Hogan? Same "God help me" look, same trannie-tastic makeup and hair.........
I'm just waiting for Papa Joe to rub some oil on her fanny!!!!!!!!
Living well is the best revenge.......
Poor Jessica! Her dad is a PIMP and wants his money. That chick better bring daddy home the money.
Tony did not know what he was getting himself into with that family circus act.
Hopefully he sees the light and runs for dear life.
I kindof hope she is pregnant. But she could just be packing on some pounds.
Momus, I share your loathing of the Proactiv commercial. The dude who says, "I put it on at night and when I wake up in the morning, YOU don't have acne." I want to hurl something at the screen.
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥
The world is full of little people like you
They have to read a book to learn what to do
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on June 6, 2008 -6:19pm.
Submitted by Sayonara on June 6, 2008 - 3:00pm.: With her horrid voice I doubt that she could make it as a telemarketer. Look at her commercials.
After country music: Stripping for quarters in a Dallas titty-bar.
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Stripping at the club will be her final destination.
Microphone check 1 2 1 2
Submitted by Sayonara on June 6, 2008 - 3:00pm.: With her horrid voice I doubt that she could make it as a telemarketer. Look at her commercials.
After country music: Stripping for quarters in a Dallas titty-bar.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by Miss Priss on June 6, 2008 - 2:48pm.
What's next after she fails in country?
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Telemarketing
"Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?" - Martin
Submitted by Miss Priss on June 6, 2008 - 2:48pm.
What's next after she fails in country?
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I'm pretty sure it's music for really young children, but the final ring of hell is being guest teacher for the Tranny-cat Dolls.
So, I guess it's safe to make a law that states that when a local singer jumps to folk music is the international sign of desperation.
ted by Kizzy on June 6, 2008 - 2:07pm.:
My most heartfelt sympathies on The Andy Griffith Show.
Does the theme song also hurt Mr. Snugglebunny's delicate ears?
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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PSL: No wonder we communicate so well. As you can see by my screen name, I am a student of ancient mythology and rhetoric. Yes, Momus was actually recognized by Rome as a legitimate deity.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on June 6, 2008 - 5:00pm.
I cannot get to the mute button fast enough whenever I hear a ProActiv commercial starting.
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The "Andy Griffith" theme song does me the same way. I live in N.C. yes, it's still playing here. Dammit.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Momus:
thanks...hehhehe
and may I tell you that I tell most people that sarcasm is my first language? (wink)
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"If I could have David Archuleta's father and Dina Lohan as my parents, I'd be the biggest star right now."
– Kathy Griffin
PSL: Colds are fine; they don't last. I would talk to you, even with your cold.
Her voice sounds nasally, twangy, and whiny. I cannot get to the mute button fast enough whenever I hear a ProActiv commercial starting.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Momus the Sarcastic's picture
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on June 6, 2008 - 1:43pm.
Submitted by Michaela on June 6, 2008 - 1:37pm.:
She is truly a product of her upbringing and her genetics. While her father is a pain-in-the-ass (in more ways than one) she also has the most annoying voice I have heard since Fran Drescher.
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then you for sure do not want to talk to me when I have a cold.....hahahhaha
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"If I could have David Archuleta's father and Dina Lohan as my parents, I'd be the biggest star right now."
– Kathy Griffin
Turn off the lights...she's done.
Bring on the next bimbo.
Submitted by day shift stripper on June 6, 2008 - 3:46pm.
I don't recall being taught this garbage in the 90's either but I was known to take naps in my math classes then.
Submitted by angry mom on June 6, 2008 - 4:19pm.
My mom's class is online, too. Luckily, most of the questions are multiple choice. My mom is just like, "What IS this shit? They didn't even teach this to us in the 70s!"
☠
I'M PRESSIN CHARGES
I'M PRESSIN CHARGES
I'M PRESSIN CHARGES
WHERE MY DOO RAG AT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oVNPh3TX0Y
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
Submitted by Michaela on June 6, 2008 - 1:37pm.:
She is truly a product of her upbringing and her genetics. While her father is a pain-in-the-ass (in more ways than one) she also has the most annoying voice I have heard since Fran Drescher.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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I try not to say bad things about her cuz she cannot help herself. She cannot hold on to a man just like Jennifer Aniston. In Jessica's case it's probably because of her annoying father...
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on June 6, 2008 - 1:33pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 6, 2008 - 1:28pm.: I have never understood why people would eat bait.
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OH MY GOD AND FUCK ME TWICE.
That is what I always say!!!!!!!
Why eat bait?
Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister
Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister
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Don't call me Norman, call me Chubbsy Ubbsy.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 6, 2008 - 1:28pm.: I have never understood why people would eat bait. As for country music, it ain't been same since Johnny died.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by pinkdoodoo2 on June 6, 2008 - 1:12pm.
Beautifully said Zomay. Country music is like sushi or wine. There's something for everybody.
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Sushi was invented by the devil
Dwight Yoakam ROCKS!
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Don't call me Norman, call me Chubbsy Ubbsy.
you know what isn't fair? there are many intelligent, attractive, educated and talented people who cannot even dream of making the kind of loot he and his spawn are pulling in. having a hit countree album is apparently not difficult judging from the crap I hear at the grocery store. puke. if there is actual good country music being produced somewhere I am glad for the people who like it. but that is not what they play at the store when I am buying pepsi.
Submitted by silvarga on June 6, 2008 - 1:11pm.:
How would the BL-placer know about the condoms?
Way too much fucking information.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by day shift stripper on June 6, 2008 - 3:15pm.
awww, youre a nice daughter for helping her...
this Finite math class is online so it double sucks-my moron ass has to teach my moron ass how to do this stuff-compounding a felony
Submitted by silvarga on June 6, 2008 - 1:11pm.
There is a Blind Item going around about a couple that recently broke up and got back together. The BI says that it was not "interference" that broke them up (as everyone assumes) but instead that some loose condoms fell out of the GF's purse in the presence of the BF... and the two don't use condoms when they're together.
Hmmm, I wonder who this is about...
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nah....I prefer to think they are the BI couple who broke up, because Jess likes to be choked while fucking.
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"If I could have David Archuleta's father and Dina Lohan as my parents, I'd be the biggest star right now."
– Kathy Griffin
angry mom on June 6, 2008 - 4:14pm.
Thanks Mom!
And for the shout out on the Clint/Spike thread as well.....
OLE!
♥♥♥
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA"
Angry Mom, I feel your pain. My mom is nursing school (and working) so I've been doing her algebra.
Like Stephen Colbert said, "Equations are the devil's sentences."
☠
I'M PRESSIN CHARGES
I'M PRESSIN CHARGES
I'M PRESSIN CHARGES
WHERE MY DOO RAG AT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oVNPh3TX0Y
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on June 6, 2008 - 3:13pm.
I love every bit of that eloquent brilliance you just typed!
Oh fuck off Joe Simpson.
Why the fuck do think you would be better or are worthy of managing a Pro NFL player's career?
You are an asshole just like the two you raise and manage.
Stay the fuck out of other people's legitimate careers.
GWAD HE'S SO GWADDAMN ANNOYING!
And yes Jessie girl looks like she's trying to navigate the dewey decimal system.
Books are scary Jessie, just read menus.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA"
Submitted by zomay on June 6, 2008 - 12:26pm.
Country music will take just about anyone. When you are in a bar, sitting amongst a sea of wrangler jeans, drinking till your death, it is comforting to hear the voice of someone who has had it worse than you.
Beautifully said Zomay. Country music is like sushi or wine. There's something for everybody.
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Go Lakers!!!
There is a Blind Item going around about a couple that recently broke up and got back together. The BI says that it was not "interference" that broke them up (as everyone assumes) but instead that some loose condoms fell out of the GF's purse in the presence of the BF... and the two don't use condoms when they're together.
Hmmm, I wonder who this is about...
Linear Functions/Equations-lots of fractions and decimals and graphs and painful slow death-I'ts due at midnight and my poor son has been banished to my mother's house so I can get it done...blar
Submitted by Green Is Good on June 6, 2008 - 12:57pm.
angry mom, It doesn't involve fractions, does it?
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Or, decimals? I hate decimals.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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angry mom, It doesn't involve fractions, does it?
Submitted by Green Is Good on June 6, 2008 - 2:41pm.
LMAO!!!! Do the dishes damn it! Help me finish my homework (yes MY homework) afterwards! :P
Submitted by C on June 6, 2008 - 2:39pm.
I was the one who said that hon. It wasn't meant to be such a blanket statement either-so sorry. My best friend is pursuing a recording career there and its quite lovely. I meant a very particualr black hole of suck targeted toward the sucky ie Jessucka Simpson.
No offense meant.
Submitted by angry mom on June 6, 2008 - 2:25pm.
Submitted by Green Is Good on June 6, 2008 - 2:19pm.
You're adorable!
(secretly hoping you aren't mocking me and being sarcastic-even if you are-you're still adorable! ;D )
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No way, Mommy! Just tell me to get the hell off the couch, like my real Mommy.
But she's got those damn plastic sofa covers. I always end up sliding off anyway....
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WISH GRANTED! >:)
myspace.com/draya23
Submitted by Green Is Good on June 6, 2008 - 2:06pm.
the vacumn of suck that is Nashville
i take offense to that statement. nashville is NOT a vacuum of suck! sure, there are losers here, just like every other town, but there are lots of beautiful and talented people who live here too.
If you play any old country LP backwards, You get your truck back, the trailer back, your dog back...
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I live with 15 dead cats, a purple dog that wears spats..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill
Parents should not work for their children.
Parents should be parents -- not agents.
Parents who are agents are simply greedy stoats who should have their kids taken from them for violating child labor laws and intentional infliction of emotion distress.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Country music will take just about anyone. When you are in a bar, sitting amongst a sea of wrangler jeans, drinking till your death, it is comforting to hear the voice of someone who has had it worse than you.
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Madam s. on June 6, 2008 - 9:18am.
Okay. I am going to try and control my language here, because I don't want to expose the depths of my filthy trucker mouth....
Submitted by Green Is Good on June 6, 2008 - 2:19pm.
You're adorable!
(secretly hoping you aren't mocking me and being sarcastic-even if you are-you're still adorable! ;D )
Submitted by angry mom on June 6, 2008 - 2:11pm.
Submitted by Green Is Good on June 6, 2008 - 2:06pm.
sure dear, there's always room for a wish granter-I wish Jessucka would dissapear into the vacumn of suck that is Nashville with her loser pops forever-grant that wish and you are the official red headed child of my tiny family :)
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And that's MY wish granted!
*Hops on sofa, pumping the air with my fist like that creepy CO$ cult freak that starred in "Risky Business"*
But seriously, bitch should either fire daddy, or take out a restraining order against him. He's eepy-cray.
Also, beg Nick to take her back. Not that he would. The sex must have been just awful.
Submitted by missy on June 6, 2008 - 3:10pm.
I REMEMBER seeing Chestica in sventeen magazine before she got famous
she was not modelling. she was in anti-pot ads!!!!
It was waaay back then that I knew she sucked ass.
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Hahahahahahahaha.
Square!!
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Excuse my manners
If all else fails, go country. Country music is very accepting. Julianne Hough has the #1 country album. I didn't even know the bitch sang.
☠
I'M PRESSIN CHARGES
I'M PRESSIN CHARGES
I'M PRESSIN CHARGES
WHERE MY DOO RAG AT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oVNPh3TX0Y
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
When she fails miserably at this, which she will, she should get into rap or that hippity-hoppity stuff..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
I live with 15 dead cats, a purple dog that wears spats..
http://www.myspace.com/akathornhill