Sunday, June 8th 2008
MiserAlba's Water Breaks, Levies Fail
According to US Magazine, MiserAlba has finally birthed her placenta laden infant. Previous rumors were that she named her Honor, but no name has been released and her rep whores have yet to comment.
She ought to be back to her pre-pregnancy size and weight by 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning thanks to the magic wonders of Hollywood lipo, needles and wet/dry vacs. What ever stupid name she gives her little bundle of misery, her golden brown chichi's better despense low-fat chocolate milk to make up for it.
She squeezed her daughter out at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles this weekend. Her and Cash wed on May 19 and moved into a $4 million Beverly Hills home with their three dogs.
Congrats MiserAlba!
So they did get married? I give them a year or so...
lmao @ "She ought to be back to her pre-pregnancy size and weight by 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning thanks to the magic wonders of Hollywood lipo"
GAH Nooooo! The end of the world is upon us.
I hope her baby is as white as powder. :)
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Welcome to White Oprah's School of Puppetry.
Por favor, mantenganse allejado de las puertas.
They'll have a cute child, but her career as a sex symbol is all but over. Why? Babies ruin figures. She has all but lost her sex appeal. She may still be sexy,but she'll never get it back to what it used to be.
Cool
Congratulations to Jessica and Cash. She is soooo awesome. I wish her the very best.
♡☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♥♡♥☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♡
I don't want to be a miserable person who smiles. I really want to be happy when I smile.
MiserAlba will be a good mom I believe.She is so cute.hehehehehehehe..........I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site ----@@@@@@@@"AffluentBachelors.com"####### ----last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
Submitted by get serious on June 9, 2008 - 3:43am.
Everyone in the gossip industry (particularly this website) gives her crap on a daily basis & calls her all sorts of infantile names. I hate to point this out to the lesbian hater chicks that run this site, but she'll be back to looking hot in no time (she's still got nice looking legs, even when 9 months out). Which is a lot more that can be said for the losers who run this website; time to grow your hair out & lose the birkenstocks, Helga...
Congratulations, Jessica & Cash!
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Seriously? An Albaloonie? Some people have no standards!
Good luck to the baby, I hope to JESUS that it's brown enough for Misery. I've been lighting my Our Lady of Gaudalupe candle for her.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
"I'd rather have lots of breastmilk than a million melons!"
Thar she blows!
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Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system. ~P.J. O'Rourke
Dont' feel so bad - Celebs also avoid stretch marks via photohop and makeup artists;)
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Why it's important to smile in pictures:)
Lean Like A Chola!
I'm Back, Beechez! WHASHOWT!
the celebs avoid stretch marks by having a c-section several weeks before their actual due date. i'm not a mom but it's my understanding that the majority of the stretch marks come in the last two to three weeks of your pregnancy.
♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
Keep your friends close, your ganja closer.
How the hell do these celebs manage to avoid stretch marks? Oh, and don't tell me "cocoa butter" because I slathered a bucket on me every freaking day and only gained 15 pounds! Yet, I'm covered in them.
Cruel world.
whoever said she looked like a bobblehead before giving birth wasn't kidding. she really recently gave an interview that said she had coffee for breakfast, yogurt for lunch, and a very small dinner.
That's starving yourself.
♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
Keep your friends close, your ganja closer.
PS to Triple D:
I just saw that movie, The Eye...it was pretty funny how they made a big show of her not understanding Spanish *eyeroll* (it was pretty central to the movie, in fact). Prolly more so for me for all the shit in the tabloids...and my tabloid addiction:)
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Why it's important to smile in pictures:)
Lean Like A Chola!
I'm Back, Beechez! WHASHOWT!
Submitted by RichBitch on June 9, 2008 - 5:53am.
Is it wrong that I'm secretly hoping that pregnancy has ruined her figure?
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We should all be so lucky...but she looks like one o dem bitches dat NEVER loses their figure. Plus - she's in the plastic surgery capitol of the world.
I'm 3 shades darker than either her or her hubby and I made a blonde baby. *I* hope she didn't get *her* hopes up to high...
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Why it's important to smile in pictures:)
Lean Like A Chola!
I'm Back, Beechez! WHASHOWT!
I hope her brown baby is born speaking fluent Spanish.
Alba is a vapid whore and will likely make a few more stupid statements on the birth of her baby.
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We sit side by side in every class;
Teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing
I hope that baby is so pale, she's see through. LOL
Congrats to Cashole and miserAlba.
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"You are most beautiful because you have a new album, or a new movie, or a new baby to promote" Michael Buckley on People Magazine's Most Beautiful
I do not care about Jessia Alba's baby WHEN is Angelina going to give birth to her twins. I just want to know what she is going to name them and do they have Angelina's odd looking lips.
Is it wrong that I'm secretly hoping that pregnancy has ruined her figure?
ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
~*~!I don't want to look like Britney Spears. I just don't want to. She's hideous." - Beth Ditto~*~
Britney Vs Christina - Battle of the fake blondes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-hRmiXL51I
Get serious, getserious. She may be attractive, but she's yet another actress who built her career on boners because she can't act worth a fuck. She also makes a shit-ton of thoughtless, borderline racist comments because she doesn't have brains (or apparently PR people) to back up her looks. She's just another face, not Mother fucking Theresa. Bottom line: Good for porn, bad as a leading lady.
Never liked her and still don't. Ewww..
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Dr John Sentamu Archbishop of York Parachute Jump
congratulations jessica :)
virtually no other site is reporting this, not even People, that fine institution of journalistic integrity...the fourth estate seems to be pleading the fifth all the way around.
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No comment!
Honor. i like that name.
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Honestly, this girl needs to dig a hole and stick her head in it.
She has no intelligence, no class, no beauty, no charm NOTHING doing for her.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Rumor Willis
She looks good in that dress. Her blog was just seen at millionaire persoanals site ******W e a l t h y L o v I n g. c o m*****last week. It is said she is already in relationship with a young billionaire on that site now. Is she single now?
?☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆???☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
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G'night, TV, nice to be seen! I'll drop in sooner next time, PROMISE!
XOXO
Submitted by dv8trix on June 9, 2008 - 1:21am.
Yeah, gotta go. Nite hon, nice to see you.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Is everybody leaving? I'll just email MK a few more times about Johnny Depp's birthday tomorrow then...I wonder how many constitutes harassment? 50? 135?
:::edit--TODAY:::
Night ESE, darlin'! You wascally wabbit!
Yeah, TV, February lasts 3 months in Canada...then 6 weeks of summer after the Groundhog sees his shadow.
Then, more winter!
I'm kind of jellus of Miseralba getting to lounge in the pool for the last 5 years, can you tell?
Submitted by dv8trix on June 9, 2008 - 1:11am.
gotta go, dahl!*tippin' the hat*... just for you dv8... wwwwabbit porn!... that's where the money's at!!... night, all!
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"Lord help my poor soul."
Of course, Dv8 shows up at my bedtime of 1 am, which is February 3rd in Canada.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
ESE, haha! Don't even MENTION the poor rabbits!
I've been reading the giraffe porn thread, some of your finest work! Britney's rhino merkin has me a wee bit squeamish, howevs...
Submitted by dv8trix on June 9, 2008 - 1:05am.
way too many pregnant bitches, period... wait, they didn't get that
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"Lord help my poor soul."
Also, WAY too many pregnant bitches in the "news" today!
*burp*
Submitted by Team Valtrex on June 9, 2008 - 1:01am.
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49 cents. (Economic fluctuations are a bitch!) I'll also take Taco Bell coupons...
What can i say, the impending international holiday's got me all warm & fuzzy-like!
onT: meh
Submitted by Team Valtrex on June 9, 2008 - 1:01am.
i'm good for 7 cents
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"Lord help my poor soul."
I bribed Dv8 to show up, now I owe her 450 dollars . That's 37 cents in Canada.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by dv8trix on June 9, 2008 - 12:55am.
Giraffe porn? Dare I ask?
probably better you don't
OT: where am i again?
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"Lord help my poor soul."
Giraffe porn? Dare I ask? (I kinda like the hairdo with the antlers!)
Hi all, long time no see! Call me Avoidant Girl! Xs & Os!
Submitted by dv8trix on June 9, 2008 - 12:49am.
DV8!!!... yeah, that's all i got... wait, wait... MIDGETS!!!
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"Lord help my poor soul."
Submitted by dv8trix on June 9, 2008 - 12:49am.
You missed giraffe porn.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on June 9, 2008 - 12:41am.
somebody's nailing camels?
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It's the animal of choice, if you like 'em to spit and swallow.
Oh, shit! I'm really plastered right now. Brings out the blue in me. Apologies, ESE.
*deep breaths* *composing self*
"Anything you can't get out of a bottle of vodka, you don't need."..........
Ava Gardner......
Dammit, I show and what's the first thing I read? MIDGETS!!
*looks around for couch*
Submitted by dead-actress on June 9, 2008 - 12:44am.
wait, i forgot to specify.... midget carnys... who am i to judge... i fuck giraffes
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"Lord help my poor soul."
Submitted by ESE on June 9, 2008 - 12:39am.
hey, i needed a carny to fix that!!... it's always about the carny... just ask TV!
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Unless TV is missing some part of an appendage, he don't know shit about carnies. LOL! Oh, wait...is he missing anything or is he a former carnie? Never stopped to ask him.
ON T: Thar she blows!
"Anything you can't get out of a bottle of vodka, you don't need."..........
Ava Gardner......
Submitted by Team Valtrex on June 9, 2008 - 12:41am.
don't look at me.... i prefer giraffes
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"Lord help my poor soul."
somebody's nailing camels?
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by dead-actress on June 9, 2008 - 12:35am.
hey, i needed a carny to fix that!!... it's always about the carny... just ask TV!
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"Lord help my poor soul."
Submitted by ESE on June 9, 2008 - 12:29am.
HAHAHA!... probably a good bet!
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Sitting in a bar...you kind of get a feel for the ones that walk in. If you drank Sterno instead of vodka...I would have been easier to convince you were human. The fact you couldn't even fix my cotton candy machine was the nail that broke the camel's back. lol
"Anything you can't get out of a bottle of vodka, you don't need."..........
Ava Gardner......
Submitted by dead-actress on June 9, 2008 - 12:27am.
HAHAHA!... probably a good bet!..edited... you're in charge of feedin' my cats when my batteries expire!!
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"Lord help my poor soul."