John Mayer Will Give You The Best Sex Of Your Life
This isn't the first time that we've heard that John Mayer will have your coochie screaming "mercy!!" It's already been rumored that his dick is major and that he knows how to fuck. A "friend" of John's backed up these claims to OK! Magazine.
The "friend" said, "John is good in bed. Not just good, but sensational. Every girl I know who has slept with John says it was the best sex of their life. I'm not sure what exactly he does in bed, but after girls sleep with him, they're ruined. They get totally hung up on him and want more! Whatever John's secret is, he should market it. He could retire from the music industry."
Hmmmm...I know which "friend" said this. Rachel Green! We get it, Jen. You're fucking John Mayer and the sex is fantastic. Good for you. Give yourself a hug. You don't have to remind us anymore, so you can go back to sticking pins in your Angie Jolie voodoo doll.
Not only is Douche Mayer a master at sexy times, he's also a comedian! He left a pharmacy with the words "experimental human growth hormones" written on his bag. Oh John, save it for the sack.
Most of the time people who brag how good they are in bed and get friends to brag for them are not good at all. Nice try mayer.
All we keep hearing about is how good he is in bed. I don't believe it!
Shiftee! Low down, gritty and grimey
John Mayer is my favorite.I love him.I saw his profile on millionaire&celeb dating site --
-"AffluentBachelors.com ----" last week. It is said he is in relationship with a young beautiful woman on that site now.
Well, as a douche, he is sure to leave your lady business all squeaky clean and lemony fresh.
There's that.
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥
The world is full of little people like you
They have to read a book to learn what to do
Submitted by harlee25 on June 12, 2008 - 4:40pm.
usually douches are good in bed because they know they don't have to be a good guy to get girls completely hung up on them...
_______________________________________
This raises an interesting question. If there are some women out there who just want sex with no strings attached and they pick douches on purpose for this, why? Surely there are cool, decent guys who are willing to have casual sex.
What kind of partner you choose, even if it's a casual partner, reveals something about you. Do some women have self-esteem issues, or issues about sex, and then pick a jerk to sleep with because it's only with a "bad" person that they can let themselves completely go? And then they can blame it all on him afterwards. It's like the rape fantasy that so many romance novels are based on - being "forced" by someone else eliminates any responsibility.
Never mind, I've been way too academic on this thread already.
John Mayer just gets douchier by the minute.
*______________________________________*
"This cunt from cuntville really needs to be put on a cunt filter." - MK, 6/11/08
When in doubt, Leave It To Beaver.
**************************************
Sláinte duine a ól.
Submitted by ORLY on June 12, 2008 - 2:28pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on June 12, 2008 - 4:22pm
I just never enjoyed it, and I hate when my clit is overly stimulated. That shit only hurts... Then again, I may be a freak of nature...
>>>>> Girl you a freak!
_______________________________________________
MONKEYPOX said that ORLY, not me. She was responding to another post of mine....
**************************************************
“Pamela and the kids have moved in with me. It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. We’ve only given it a try 800 times — 801, here we go"
-Tommy Lee
Submitted by Aphid on June 12, 2008 - 9:59pm.
The cow that moos the loudest always gives the least milk.
Aphid- does that mean he has a little pepe?
:::giggle:::
L♥VE,
PCA
"It's Rojo Calieñte Times!"
my best friend has a very TRUE story that her friend got back stage passes to see John Mayer. This was way back when he was first getting famous. She was flirting with him for a while and after he kinda led her on, he told her "I'm not gonna sleep with you, but I do wanna jack off on your back because your body is a wonderland"
please, I wish this story was fake, but its totally true!
Submitted by Stock Brokerlina on June 12, 2008 - 6:01pm.
Lory ~ 33 is doggie style, and 88 is standing up with a woman's legs cross behind my back.
look at the numbers again
;)
---------------
Thanks Stocky! Those styles are very good. Now I can brag about how I can combine both numbers and secks to my DH's dismay... Mwahahahaha! I owe you one m8!
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Good dick attached to a totally annoying [and ugly] douche is just a waste, imo.
☠
♫ What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito Lay made a fat motherfucker outta me ♪
[Adam Sandler, "Corduroy Blues"]
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
I would do him, get a bottle of Jack Daniels do a couple shots till im hot and bothered, and push that big old head of his downwards till I am all ready. Not every girl needs to have their held hand by a sweet guy. Not that theres anything wrong with it, but sometimes you dont want a full "leading to marriage" relationship. Maybe Jennifer Aniston is enjoying a good constant fuck. Good for her.
"YOU'D BLEED ME DRY IF YA COULD, NOW TAKE THAT TEN POUND NOTE BUY THAT KID A BONNET AND TIE IT OVER ITS FUCKING FACE"
The cow that moos the loudest always gives the least milk.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on June 12, 2008 - 9:43pm.
I don't see the attraction between him and JA. I just don't...
Sock-Monkey, do I have to do the math for you in hoof-beats? Homely girl+prettyboy means homely girl gets hottie and prettyboy gets to be the 'pretty' one. lol
i guess this answers the question i asked a few days ago about what is so appealling about douche dick...
_____________________________________________
sexy motherfucker...
John's peen hasn't read this article yet, John is fluent peenanese and cockish and pig dickian, I'm sure his peen will understand one of those languages and then beg to be cut off...
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA"
He's douche-a-licious!
Your face!
I don't see the attraction between him and JA. I just don't...
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Otter Pop on June 12, 2008 - 4:28pm.
His pr people are working overtime. I bet he's hung like a hamster.
-----------------------------------------------
Hung like a hamster - OMG! That is the funniest thing in the world! I agree though. And even if there is a hint of truth to his big ole cockie, I still wouldn't want him. He's gross! And he doesn't give a shit about Jennifer. He is probably thinking as he fucks her, ooooh, Brad's dick has been in this coochie... ooooh...
he looks like he got a dick cream dick i would fuck em
THIS IS MY WORLD YALL HOS JUST LIVE IN IT
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/BUNNY420
i believe he's good in bed. usually douches are good in bed because they know they don't have to be a good guy to get girls completely hung up on them...
that being said...
id hit it
hard
--------------------------------------------
Like CLOTHES? visit my blog for fashion news and lots of my drawings :)
http://www.lackofcouture.blogspot.com
http://www.lackofcouture.blogspot.com
http://www.lackofcouture.blogspot.com
Whatever. A FRAUD hooked up with another FRAUD. How fitting.
just like any good douche he knows how to clean out a coochie!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
hot damn, ho, here we go again.
His pr people are working overtime. I bet he's hung like a hamster.
Jen thinks she's lucky with him, but I don't think so much. I bet if Angelina whispers 3 simple words to him, "I want you", John Mayer will be out of Jen's site forever. Look what happened to Brad Pitt. All she probably had to do was smile and look at him, and divorce papers were already processed.
Honestly, I wouldn't mind a piece of Mayer either. I think he's the only douche I'll do.
Sex tape, please.
_____________________
"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Lory ~ 33 is doggie style, and 88 is standing up with a woman's legs cross behind my back.
look at the numbers again
;)
___________________________________
Stock Broker is now Stock BrokerLINA.
Whatever. I believe that Screech is probably better at sex than Mayer. You know what they say, don't talk about it, be about it.
Submitted by Lory on June 12, 2008 - 5:56pm.
Submitted by Stock Brokerlina on June 12, 2008 - 4:42pm.
I bet John Mayer planted this story himself. He jerks off to pictures of himself while listening to this crappy music.
Hahaha.
That's probably how he wrote "Your Body is a Wonderland."
---------------------------------------
More lame-ass transparent public relations flack "gossip." Yeah, yeah, we get it - Warren Beatty, Jack Nicholson, even BRAD PITT HIMSELF have nothing on this incredible "cocksman." Jesus. Those guys never had to have their PR flacks plant items about their sexual prowess anywhere, but this douche has his people working overtime to convince everyone that he's a stud. Pathetic. As is Aniston for aligning herself with this idiot - but then again, water seeks its own level. Feh.
I think his douchetastic ways forced Chapelle into a horrible mental break down that the once brilliant comedian has yet been able to recover from!
Whatever he's selling I wouldn't buy, no matter how "fantastic" he is. He does nothing for me and sort of looks like my douche cousin.
Submitted by devilgirl on June 12, 2008 - 4:52pm.
@you mom ate the...- no I am afraid not, or maybe I blocked it out from the shock of it all. Was this prior to Chappelle disappearing for a while, cause if it was , that would explain a lot!
-------------------------------
Why yes, it is! Hmmmm.....*scratches head*
*******************************************************
In heaven, everything is fine. You've got your good things, and I've got mine.
Submitted by Stock Brokerlina on June 12, 2008 - 4:42pm.
I bet John Mayer planted this story himself. He jerks off to pictures of himself while listening to this crappy music.
Oh and I am not a fan of 69. I prefer 33. Or 88. Depends on my mood.
----------------
So if 33 is anal, which one is 88? I missed that Sex ed class. LOL. Teach me you wise butt master! I needz to know!!!
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Viva - yup. Douchebags and assholes always seem to have the piping, well in my experience anyways.
Maybe that is why I dated nothing but assholio's forever.....
@you mom ate the...- no I am afraid not, or maybe I blocked it out from the shock of it all. Was this prior to Chappelle disappearing for a while, cause if it was , that would explain a lot!
douchbags and assholes usually lay the pipe like a plumber, so I believe it
<(*.*<) ^(*.*)^ (>*.*)>
***IF YOU LIVE IN VEGAS PM ME FOR TICKETS TO STP TONIGHT!!!***
And let that bitch know I already suck cock for a living, but the pay sucks, so I have to do this website to make ends meet! - MK to Bradiful Bitch
Submitted by devilgirl on June 12, 2008 - 4:38pm.
@Your mom ate.. Say it ain't so- Chappelle and he are friends. IT'S A LIE! Just kidding. Really, they are pals. Chappelle must be havin' a break down!
---------------------
Sorry to say it's so! I guess you didn't see the episode where Mayer was on Chappelle's show?
*******************************************************
In heaven, everything is fine. You've got your good things, and I've got mine.
I bet John Mayer planted this story himself. He jerks off to pictures of himself while listening to this crappy music.
Oh and I am not a fan of 69. I prefer 33. Or 88. Depends on my mood.
____________________________________
Stock Broker is now Stock BrokerLINA.
For some reason I find this whole "John Mayer is a sex god" thing really hard to believe. It sounds like he paid those women to say those things. Oh well. If any of what that "friend" says is true, Jennifer is one lucky bitch.
Stoney - STFU you young WHORE! lol.
I'm older than you!
Ok, it's 9 minutes before 5, but everyone in my office has left, so um, BYE BITCHES!
Oh shit, wait...what if this is a test?
I guess I fail!
*flies out door*
__________________________________________
It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
@Your mom ate.. Say it ain't so- Chappelle and he are friends. IT'S A LIE! Just kidding. Really, they are pals. Chappelle must be havin' a break down!
Submitted by tonicbitch on June 12, 2008 - 4:35pm.
69 is not good for people with ADD.
---------------------
LMAO!
*******************************************************
In heaven, everything is fine. You've got your good things, and I've got mine.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 12, 2008 - 4:25pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on June 12, 2008 - 2:23pm.
I do not like talking about sex.
I don't even like to watch people kissing in the movies.
-------------
I see what you mean. Confessions on a dlisted floor is not for everyone. Just like sushi. ;)
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by tonicbitch on June 12, 2008 - 5:35pm.
69 is not good for people with ADD.
-------------------------------------------------
Or dyslexia. :)
**************************************
Sláinte duine a ól.
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on June 12, 2008 - 4:33pm.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on June 12, 2008 - 4:31pm
There is... he is wicked smart, and funny when not trying. But I hate the person he's become. Seriously, I had to begrudgingly admit to my bf he was right about Mayer being a douche. I am never wrong!!!
--------------------------
It's a shame what fame and fortune can do to the best of 'em.
*******************************************************
In heaven, everything is fine. You've got your good things, and I've got mine.
69 is not good for people with ADD.
-------------------------------------------------
A worthy cause: http://dogsindanger.com/ or http://hua.org/
ubmitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 12, 2008 - 4:32pm.
I like to, ya know, DO IT, but I don't like to discuss it.
Don't let my prudishness spoil your fun, however!!!!
--------------------------
My dear, if you like to do it, then you are not a prude. I also doubt you would keep anyone here from having fun! It just ain't your style.
*******************************************************
In heaven, everything is fine. You've got your good things, and I've got mine.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on June 12, 2008 - 4:31pm
There is... he is wicked smart, and funny when not trying. But I hate the person he's become. Seriously, I had to begrudgingly admit to my bf he was right about Mayer being a douche. I am never wrong!!!
_________________________________________________
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton