John Mayer Will Give You The Best Sex Of Your Life
This isn't the first time that we've heard that John Mayer will have your coochie screaming "mercy!!" It's already been rumored that his dick is major and that he knows how to fuck. A "friend" of John's backed up these claims to OK! Magazine.
The "friend" said, "John is good in bed. Not just good, but sensational. Every girl I know who has slept with John says it was the best sex of their life. I'm not sure what exactly he does in bed, but after girls sleep with him, they're ruined. They get totally hung up on him and want more! Whatever John's secret is, he should market it. He could retire from the music industry."
Hmmmm...I know which "friend" said this. Rachel Green! We get it, Jen. You're fucking John Mayer and the sex is fantastic. Good for you. Give yourself a hug. You don't have to remind us anymore, so you can go back to sticking pins in your Angie Jolie voodoo doll.
Not only is Douche Mayer a master at sexy times, he's also a comedian! He left a pharmacy with the words "experimental human growth hormones" written on his bag. Oh John, save it for the sack.
ShareThis
You know the people that are REALLY good in bed are not the ones who have to brag about it and try hard to convince others. I bet he sucks ass in the sack and this is just over-compensation. I know he wouldn't do anything for me because I find arrogance a major turnoff.
-------------------------------------------------
A worthy cause: http://dogsindanger.com/ or http://hua.org/
My white side says give him a try, my black side says only brothers are that good.
______________________________________________________
Mine eyes hath seen the glory of our schizofriend, oh yes, mine eyes hath seen. HA!....."Jizzus Christo"
Submitted by zomay on June 12, 2008 - 3:15pm.
Lory HA! I said first sexual experience, not the first date! That could be two different things. I never have sex on the first date. ;)
---------------
LOL. I hear ya. Tee-hee! Either way, having a man trying to give me oral during our first secksy time would give me A LOT to think about. Not that I would allow that, mind you. :D
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
I refuse to believe that someone that douchetastic can be good in bed! Refuse I tell you. There is just no way. I don't care if he shoots Chanel No5 out of his dick, I would not let him near me and my standards are pretty low these days!
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 12, 2008 - 3:21pm
Is that your kitty? I ♥ cats...
_________________________________________________
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
my cha cha is a wonder land
use your hands
I SAID USE YOUR HANDS! ASS HOLE!
Stupid Brad!
Submitted by Oxygen on June 12, 2008 - 12:19pm.
*doing my best Garth-from-Wayne's-World impression*
I think I'm gonna hurl.
*______________________________________*
"This cunt from cuntville really needs to be put on a cunt filter." - MK, 6/11/08
His personality is a total turn off...ack
MONKEYPOX you are smart. You must not live in Los Angeles!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Madam s. on June 6, 2008 - 9:18am.
Okay. I am going to try and control my language here, because I don't want to expose the depths of my filthy trucker mouth....
Submitted by angel_i on June 12, 2008 - 12:15pm.
Thinking anyone who dares to disagree with you "hates anything you say" is not at all astute. Neither is whining to me about anything I post, because I don't tailor my posts around other people's insecurities. But thanks for playing and have a lovely day.
I don't know...I just imagine him licking to the beat of his songs. It's like he would be thinking of you in terms of musical notes...which might be GREAT if his music wasn't like eating easter egg peeps. Come to think of it...I'm starting to like where I'm taking myself. Licking to musical notes...stroking body like a guitar. Hmmmmmmmm....gotta go. I need my man right now.
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 12, 2008 - 3:10pm.
Submitted by Lory on June 12, 2008 - 12:03pm.
They don't understand us, so rather than trying to figure out each woman individually, too many men try to reduce human relationships to some kind of formula.
Some women like it, some don't, but the media would have you believe every woman goes apeshit over it. Not so.
-------------
Word. If there was a "magic formula" I'd wager Mayer would have it tattooed on his forearm. LOL. Besides, not all men are good giving head, no matter his good intentions or how much he likes to go down there.
Sexual relations wouldn't be so complicated if all of them responded to the same mechanics. It would be boring too.
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by zomay on June 12, 2008 - 3:15pm
LOL, I tend to steer clear of genitals until I know the person well enough to ask for a std test...
_________________________________________________
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
there's no reason to lie to make friends!!!!
and we know he dates psycos.. look at his track record.. psycos will say anything
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 12, 2008 - 3:13pm.
Submitted by angel_i on June 12, 2008 - 12:09pm.
Wow. You hate everything I say, huh?
Cantcha take a joke?
_______________________________________
Oversensitive much?
****************************
Nope. I'm astute:) Ask anyone.
-
------------------------------------------------
Do you think I'm high right now? Do I seem high to you? No? Well, you're wrong - I'm totally high right now. - Super-High Me.
Lean Like A Chola
Lory HA! I said first sexual experience, not the first date! That could be two different things. I never have sex on the first date. ;)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Madam s. on June 6, 2008 - 9:18am.
Okay. I am going to try and control my language here, because I don't want to expose the depths of my filthy trucker mouth....
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 12, 2008 - 3:10pm
BTW ITA... I think guys want to take the easy route with just about everything, so girls are reduced to types and a routine is made to deal with said types. But girls do it to guys too. Case in point, COSMO and their stupid sex tricks. Sorry gals, there is no formula for success because every guy is different...
_________________________________________________
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
John Mayer is an attention seeking person. What a loser he has turned into. That penis of his will rot from std infections and diseases. Yuck
Cool
Submitted by Hekki on June 12, 2008 - 12:12pm.
Personally, I think what makes a guy good in bed is if he somehow telepathically knows what you want at that particular moment (rough, gentle, what have you). And when they are totally focused on giving you pleasure and that's what they get off on, too. And then there is just chemistry, which there is no accounting for.
_______________________________________
*claps family-feud style*
Good answer! Good answer!
*______________________________________*
"This cunt from cuntville really needs to be put on a cunt filter." - MK, 6/11/08
Submitted by angel_i on June 12, 2008 - 12:09pm.
Wow. You hate everything I say, huh?
Cantcha take a joke?
_______________________________________
Oversensitive much?
*______________________________________*
"This cunt from cuntville really needs to be put on a cunt filter." - MK, 6/11/08
Submitted by angel_i on June 12, 2008 - 3:09pm
Yeah I tend not to get dickmatized easily... but I've dealt with my fair share of douches too, because I think everyone has a little bit of douche hiding inside just waiting to spring out at the first easy victim....
_________________________________________________
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by zomay on June 12, 2008 - 3:05pm.
Yea I might be in the minority but I don't like it when guys try to go down on me on our first sexual experience or too soon in the relationship. It makes me think he does it often and to everyone. It goes both ways though. I will end it right away if he asks me to go down on him early in the dating process. Yes I am a PRUUUDE.
---------------
Oral on the first date? Well THAT is another story... and well if it was me, I would also think he goes down there too often and God knows what he's kissed. Eeek!. However, I do enjoy oral, giving and receiving... When done properly it can be great.
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Personally, I think what makes a guy good in bed is if he somehow telepathically knows what you want at that particular moment (rough, gentle, what have you). And when they are totally focused on giving you pleasure and that's what they get off on, too. And then there is just chemistry, which there is no accounting for.
Migraineuse XOXOXO :)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Madam s. on June 6, 2008 - 9:18am.
Okay. I am going to try and control my language here, because I don't want to expose the depths of my filthy trucker mouth....
I spent 8 years so far on my man only because he is great in bed, otherwise we do our own thing. Lucky Aniston.
Submitted by Lory on June 12, 2008 - 12:03pm.
They don't understand us, so rather than trying to figure out each woman individually, too many men try to reduce human relationships to some kind of formula.
Some women like it, some don't, but the media would have you believe every woman goes apeshit over it. Not so.
*______________________________________*
"This cunt from cuntville really needs to be put on a cunt filter." - MK, 6/11/08
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 12, 2008 - 3:05pm
Umm... I wasn't trying to impress mr. douche, he worked his ass off to get in my pants. Also, it was only sex to me, so that really bothered him because he liked me. I did to him what he always did to other girls. Only thought that it was fair considering...
_________________________________________________
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 12, 2008 - 2:55pm.
I would like to take that myth that all women love oral sex and become instantly dickmatized by any man who can actually do a fair job of it -- take it out and shoot it.
************************************
Wow. You hate everything I say, huh?
Cantcha take a joke?
ANYWAY:
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on June 12, 2008 - 2:59pm.
Gotta disagree with you, luv. In my personal experience, the best sexy times I had were with the biggest douche I have ever encountered.
***************************************
I know exactly what you mean. But sadly, I cannot be nearly as smart as you because I would have to say douch-ES :(
-
------------------------------------------------
Do you think I'm high right now? Do I seem high to you? No? Well, you're wrong - I'm totally high right now. - Super-High Me.
Lean Like A Chola
Unfortunately, I wouldn't do him. You see, I can't get past his marshmallow music... and his attitude. I bet he reeks of Eau de Douchè...
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Ah well, good for her. A woman deserves some hot sex in her life!
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 12, 2008 - 3:55pm.
You haven't had it done right if you find it boring and overrated. For many women oral is the only way they get off. Vaginal does nothing. Thats not my case but...uh...if you had the guy doing it would be great. I am talking Multiple Orgasms.
♡☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♥♡♥☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♡
Ce n'est pas une habitude; c'est cool.
Je me sens vivant.
Si vous ne l'avez pas, vous etes sur l'autre côte.
Seems like douche guys are the best, like you'd never pick em pick then you get drunk they slip up on you and your like OMG...........and guitar players in my experience to. Which tend to be douche cocky asses.
Submitted by zomay on June 12, 2008 - 12:05pm.
Yea I might be in the minority but I don't like it when guys try to go down on me on our first sexual experience or too soon in the relationship. It makes me think he does it often and to everyone. It goes both ways though. I will end it right away if he asks me to go down on him early in the dating process. Yes I am a PRUUUDE.
_______________________________________
You're not a prude. You're a strong, intelligent woman with integrity.
So there!
*______________________________________*
"This cunt from cuntville really needs to be put on a cunt filter." - MK, 6/11/08
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on June 12, 2008 - 11:59am.
I really think the douche-loving thing is something women do when they're emotionally immature. When you're young and haven't a lot of experience, you're easily impressed by a guy who seems so self-confident. Maybe impressed enough to believe he's hotter than he really is.
So why do older women fall for douches? Maybe it's a way of holding on to youth, or maybe part of them never matured, or maybe they have good memories associated with some douche. Hey, I'm not judging. I just don't think bravado is real self-confidence. A man who has the real thing does not have to strut and crow about it. And that's far more attractive to me.
*______________________________________*
"This cunt from cuntville really needs to be put on a cunt filter." - MK, 6/11/08
hmmm i bet he puts on his song "vultures" and getssit going, just listening to that song turns me on...john your so awsome- call me lol :)
Yea I might be in the minority but I don't like it when guys try to go down on me on our first sexual experience or too soon in the relationship. It makes me think he does it often and to everyone. It goes both ways though. I will end it right away if he asks me to go down on him early in the dating process. Yes I am a PRUUUDE.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Madam s. on June 6, 2008 - 9:18am.
Okay. I am going to try and control my language here, because I don't want to expose the depths of my filthy trucker mouth....
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 12, 2008 - 2:55pm.
I would like to take that myth that all women love oral sex and become instantly dickmatized by any man who can actually do a fair job of it -- take it out and shoot it.
I personally find it overrated and rather boring. Just like John Mayer.
-------------
I think it depends on who is giving it and who is receiving it. Some men can be really bad at giving head and some gals just don't like it. There are also guys who are REALLY good and gals who REALLY like it... The problem is when a gal that likes oral gets together with a guy who doesn't know his way around a kitteh. :/
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Big dicks do not always equal heaven in the sack, but if he knows how to use it then stick a bag over his oversized head, some duct tape over his mouth and it's party time!
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
But I must confess that I am going to go to Merriweather Post on July 13 to hang out and smoke clove cigs. It's my favorite summer concert hole. Oh, and John "lickety split" Mayer will be performing. With this new moniker, I'll be watching hawklike to see if he's got the goods and the appeal. On second thought, I will be paying more attention to hitting those random volleyballs.
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 12, 2008 - 2:57pm
Gotta disagree with you, luv. In my personal experience, the best sexy times I had were with the biggest douche I have ever encountered. It. Was. Phenomenal. Have to say though, that sex with sweet nice guys is awesome too.
_________________________________________________
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 12, 2008 - 3:55pm.
Really?
I like to sit on mens faces and buck like a cow girl! I mean really, you make them grow thier facial hair out to nice stuble and then you really SMASH THEIR FACES ALL UP IN THERE!
I mean get in there and give my fucking ovaries a good ole MOTORBOAT!
YES! JAMES YES!
Look see things havent turned out so bad for JA she's getting some good dick!
P.S. Cocky guys are idiots. The best guys I ever had in bed were nice, normal and humble.
*______________________________________*
"This cunt from cuntville really needs to be put on a cunt filter." - MK, 6/11/08
"John Mayer Will Give You The Best Sex Of Your Life".... any way i could pass on this?
-----------------------------
"Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleepin'
We could dream this night away."
Would I do him? Yes, sadly I still would. But he'd have to double-bag it...
_________________________________________________
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
I think he's pretty hot but honestly who really gives a fuck if he's 'good in bed'. Thats so fuckin lame.
"Stay Far From Timid, Only Make Moves When Your Hearts In It and Live The Phrase Skys The Limit" - C.W. Aka The Notorious B.I.G. (R.I.P.)
I would like to take that myth that all women love oral sex and become instantly dickmatized by any man who can actually do a fair job of it -- take it out and shoot it.
I personally find it overrated and rather boring. Just like John Mayer.
*______________________________________*
"This cunt from cuntville really needs to be put on a cunt filter." - MK, 6/11/08
LMAO Nit! Danish dick!
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
PC Load Letter"? What the fuck does that mean?~ Michael Bolton, Office Space.
He eats pussy. 'Nuff said.
-
------------------------------------------------
Do you think I'm high right now? Do I seem high to you? No? Well, you're wrong - I'm totally high right now. - Super-High Me.
Lean Like A Chola
I bet sex with John Mayer would be just the bee's knees. He looks like he could go down on a girl and make her scream his name and tear his hair out. I just get that vibe from him. It think its because John Mayer is cocky.
This one time I was watching Extra and this reporter asked him about Jen Aniston around the time those pics of them in the pool surfaced. John said he knew the reporter had to ask him this...then he was like "you've seen the pictures, what, do you think its photoshopped???" That was so funny.
♡☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♥♡♥☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♡
Ce n'est pas une habitude; c'est cool.
Je me sens vivant.
Si vous ne l'avez pas, vous etes sur l'autre côte.