Monday, June 16th 2008
Eau de Homewrecker
St. Angelina is reportedly in talks with Coty to put out her own line of skank juice in a bottle. A source said, "Angelina wants a very strong input. She wouldn’t want a fragrance that she didn’t feel encapsulates her."
Hmmm... let's see. Angie's stank liquid will probably smell like baby diarrhea, gun powder, Brad Pitt's pussy juices, Jenny Aniston's tears and James Haven's saliva.
Seriously, the makers of this crap should keep it simple and save their money. They can easily bottle up Angie's dirty bath water in used yogurt containers and charge thousands of dollars a pop. Brangaloonies would mortgage their homes and sell their own children just for a fucking ounce of that shit.
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What bothers me the most...Look at Wino's arms and legs, she looks healthier than the pregnant Jolie.
Brad gets all the blonde ones.
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Tattoo free since 1952!
Submitted by Stoney on June 16, 2008 - 2:56pm.
I have often wondered how in the world Brad's gonna make it when Angie starts screwing her next co-star. I mean, all the baby collecting's gonna be a bit of problem when they split, especially considering they aren't married. Wait, would that make it easier to split the kids? Is that why they haven't gotten hitched yet?
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Good question... Ange will take all of the adoptees, obviously, because her biological children are just inconveniences. Brad can have those. 50/50!
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
LMAO @ Bwavo! Soooooo, Madaline Kahn.
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Tattoo free since 1952!
I have often wondered how in the world Brad's gonna make it when Angie starts screwing her next co-star. I mean, all the baby collecting's gonna be a bit of problem when they split, especially considering they aren't married. Wait, would that make it easier to split the kids? Is that why they haven't gotten hitched yet?
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
Indeed, a round of applause for MK!! BRAVO!!! or Bwavo!! heehee!!
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
No lie, I just took the best, most solid shit of life.
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
Submitted by LoLo on June 16, 2008 - 2:51pm.
I can pee freely now the loone is gone
Its gonna be a bright BRIGHT bright
Bright crazy beesh free day!
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Pee freely? My bowels are hardening as we speak! No more Brangeloonie direar episodes!
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on June 16, 2008 - 2:47pm.
Too right!! I have often wondered that myself, or if anyone else had noticed she's got a bad habit of falling for whomever she co-stars with. Yeah, she's only had 4 lovers like I've only had 4 headaches.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
I can pee freely now the loone is gone
Its gonna be a bright BRIGHT bright
Bright crazy beesh free day!
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Even Old Man Fonda is sick of this shit.
Big APPLAUSE to MK for banning
the trifecta personality
aka HA/LA/SYBIL.
I will now promptly wear my
ammended Napolean Dynamite
tshirt which will now read
"VOTE FOR MK" instead of
Vote for Pedro!!!
OLE!! xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on June 16, 2008 - 2:47pm.
Your wish is my command! I would love for someone to explain to me how the fuck this delusional pretensious cunt continues to get work or men. Her movies are crap. She goes thru lovers (men, women, brothers, who cares?) like so many Kleenex. She'll never settle down. I never thought Brad was the sharpest knife in the drawer (sorry, Bradiful), but this proves it. History DOES repeat itself.
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4 words: Open and willing vagina. Men + Vagina = True Love. That is all.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by LoLo on June 16, 2008 - 2:46pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 16, 2008 - 2:43pm.
Now you're talkin'!! He'll be partyin' like a ROCK STAR!!!! You can never have too many vibrating condoms.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Stock Broker on June 16, 2008 - 2:46pm.
Did I miss something???
Heart Angeloonie / Loves Angeloonie has been banned??
Have my prayers to DListed Statue been answered? Can it be true??
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For the time being..
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by Stoney on June 16, 2008 - 1:41pm.
Now it's time to let all the silent fuckers comment about Angie who refused while the drama was going on. Come on, silent peeps!
Your wish is my command! I would love for someone to explain to me how the fuck this delusional pretensious cunt continues to get work or men. Her movies are crap. She goes thru lovers (men, women, brothers, who cares?) like so many Kleenex. She'll never settle down. I never thought Brad was the sharpest knife in the drawer (sorry, Bradiful), but this proves it. History DOES repeat itself.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 16, 2008 - 2:42pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 16, 2008 - 2:38pm
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DEFINITELY. I'll help. We'll add some Mr.Bubble just to see the bubbles come through the keyboard.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
IT'S A TWINKIE/ ZEBRA ROLL BUTTFUCK FIESTA!
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Tattoo free since 1952!
Hells yeah stock!!
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
Did I miss something???
Heart Angeloonie / Loves Angeloonie has been banned??
Have my prayers to DListed Statue been answered? Can it be true??
Submitted by Kizzy on June 16, 2008 - 2:43pm.
Im going to pack it all up in a Dora the Explora' book bag too so he can take it with him to Vacation Bible School at the Bowery Mission!
He'll be the hotest bitch there!
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Even Old Man Fonda is sick of this shit.
Submitted by Clarisse on June 16, 2008 - 2:43pm.
LCT,
Doesn't this normally signal the orgy to start?
I don't want to start before everyone else. I mean, i have, and it's embarrassing having an orgy by yourself.
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ORGY TIMES. Let's get it ooohhhnn.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
The ciggie I am having now is better than the one after sex.
OT: I forgot who said they have a vase of a fish in the bathroom but if it is blue those lips should be attached.
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Tattoo free since 1952!
WAIT! Wait, wait, wait....
She's been banned again!?!?!?!?
*throws confetti*
Hopefully the mods banned her IP this time.
Good riddence!
soo how many people are secretly pondering photoshopping a giant turd into that pic?
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Submitted by LoLo on June 16, 2008 - 2:37pm.
Now this, ladies and gentlemen, is an example of a TRUE humanitarian, a TRUE giver, one who REALLY cares about people. That's one hell of a gift basket, so thoughtful, including all the necessities, and in a handy carrying case for those on the go.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Stoney
"MK has just informed me Heart Angelina has once again been banned."
LCT,
Doesn't this normally signal the orgy to start?
I don't want to start before everyone else. I mean, i have, and it's embarrassing having an orgy by yourself.
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If I had a dick, I'd go get laid!
well, lets all keep our fingers crossed that I won't be divorced by this afternoon (Poland VS Croatia in Eurocup today--and its must win for Poland to have a chance to make it to the quarterfinals, and worldcup possibilities)
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Submitted by Kizzy on June 16, 2008 - 2:38pm.
I begged the mod "Please for the love of God, please" --does that make me guilty?
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I swear if she comes back and plays the whole "I don't know why everyone wanted me gone... probably because they were intimidated because I was always right and such a sweet person" I'm flying to Chicago and throwing her computer in a full bathtub myself.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Woot!
Your memaw is hot Lolo.
Yes Kizzy, you are guilty. LOL
Now it's time to let all the silent fuckers comment about Angie who refused while the drama was going on. Come on, silent peeps!
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
Submitted by Stoney on June 16, 2008 - 2:35pm.
I really don't want to take all credit. Apparently a whole bunch of folks emailed the mod and he banned her before MK could even do it himself
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I begged the mod "Please for the love of God, please" --does that make me guilty?
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Stoney,
Ill send him a gift basket of vibrating rubbers, some jack daniels, some mad libs, and those marshmallow puffs with the pink coconut shreds on top.
Its the same gift basket i sent my Memaw when she got kicked out of her book club for flashing her panties like Lohan at their pot luck last december.
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Even Old Man Fonda is sick of this shit.
@Stoney, sooo true. And about time. She will last for as long as five days this time?
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Tattoo free since 1952!
Submitted by idiots drive me loco on June 16, 2008 - 2:34pm.
and for blob deux,
your sole purpose is for Z to kick your ass Jolie Pitt
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BWAHHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA!!! SO TRUE!!!!! EXCELLENT!!
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Kizzy on June 16, 2008 - 2:34pm.
Submitted by Stoney on June 16, 2008 - 2:32pm.
THANK YOU!!! Cheers!!! Hip hip hooray!! Hip hip hooray!! Now we can snark on Angelina like we do every other celebrity story that comes in!!!
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Until 5pm, when she comes back as J'AIME ANGELINA.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
I really don't want to take all credit. Apparently a whole bunch of folks emailed the mod and he banned her before MK could even do it himself.
__________________________________________
It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
Submitted by Stoney on June 16, 2008 - 2:32pm.
MK has just informed me Heart Angelina has once again been banned.
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THANK F*CKING GOD.
Resume normalcy.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
onlygoodfor another People cover Jolie-Pitt
and for blob deux,
your sole purpose is for Z to kick your ass Jolie Pitt
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Submitted by Stoney on June 16, 2008 - 2:32pm.
THANK YOU!!! Cheers!!! Hip hip hooray!! Hip hip hooray!! Now we can snark on Angelina like we do every other celebrity story that comes in!!!
************************************
"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Kizzy on June 16, 2008 - 2:31pm.
Ooops, that's right, they're supposed to be French. Sorry, I took Spanish in school. They might as well name the first one that, because as soon as those kids hit school, someone will tell them their mom's a whore.
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In Cantonese.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
I think Jolie is tired of being the saint, she will be free to skank and Pitt will be knee-deep in diapers. He won't even be able to find a new love with Jolie in the shadows, look how long it took Jonny Lee Miller to shed her neediness. She sucked Pitt dry and he doesn't even know it.
MK has just informed me Heart Angelina has once again been banned.
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
Submitted by Clarisse on June 16, 2008 - 2:27pm
Ooops, that's right, they're supposed to be French. Sorry, I took Spanish in school. They might as well name the first one that, because as soon as those kids hit school, someone will tell them their mom's a whore.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Jolie baby #1: Maman-prostituée
Jolie baby #2: Mère d'idiot
YesterdaysTrashQueen,
I know! I've fed it m'self!
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If I had a dick, I'd go get laid!
Submitted by Kizzy on June 16, 2008 - 2:18pm.
1-If-I-name-you-after-Jane-will-she-quit-doing-lunch-with-that-fucking-bitch-Jennifer?
2-You-were-the-extra-ova-just-in-case-we-didn't-really-want-you-too
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#2 takes the cake.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by Clarisse on June 16, 2008 - 1:56pm.
You are TOTALLY right and I have for a long time.
But there just comes a point. I hate weeding
through cool threads that are ruined and
cancered by her clusterfuckery. I don't want
the clever and hilarious folks to leave. :X
Thank you, Nectar! :)
<3-------------------------------<3
Por favor, mantenerse al lado de las puertas.
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on June 16, 2008 - 2:15pm.
Blob one; "Had-to-keep-a-man-somehow"
Blob Two; "you-cost-more-than-the-dining-room-table"
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Hahaha! Niiiiiiiiiiiice. Sadly I doubt Brad has the balls to leave her.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on June 16, 2008 - 2:15pm.
LOVE CARROTTOP on June 16, 2008 - 2:13pm
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1-If-I-name-you-after-Jane-will-she-quit-doing-lunch-with-that-fucking-bitch-Jennifer?
2-You-were-the-extra-ova-just-in-case-we-didn't-really-want-you-too
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Kizzy on June 16, 2008 - 2:15pm.
Or the grandaddy of them all: Overpriviledged Americans.
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Replace "Americans" (because God knows she'll want to call them 'Parisians') with "white children" and you're on the money.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 16, 2008 - 1:14pm.
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Ha! I think so too...I wanted her to see how it feels to be a Real Girl.
♥ I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. Harry S Truman - Dad. Lean Like a Chola