Tuesday, June 17th 2008
Joan Van Ark's Road To Recovery
Joan Van Ark still has a mug only Dr. 90210 could love, but at least she no longer looks like she's just come back from an extended stay at Hostel. I mean, you can actually see wrinkles! Wrinkles on Joan Van Ark! Imagine that. Now if she'll just work at getting that dirty daddy long legs off her eyes.
Here's more of this truly natural beauty at Fashion Votes last night.
Wenn, Splashnewsonline.com
I just flashed on Heidi Montag in 35 years.
Submitted by Falcor on June 18, 2008 - 2:54am.
Listen you piece of shit stalker. And for anyone who doesn't know, and MK, this crazy hobag has been harassing one of the Dlisters , who is also my friend, relentlessly for God knows how long and even took her little reign of terror to my friend`s MySpace page, because she is a whiny cunt who doesn't know when to quit. What are you 12?
You know who you are Falcor. Take your Lithium,down it with some Bacardi or do the world a favor and go the fuck away.
Happy now!? You got my attention and you got the whole fucking blog`s attention. ALL EYES ON YOU!!! WOW LADDI FREAKIN DAH!!
Sayonara cunt.
-----------------------------------------------------
Submitted by miso-horny on June 17, 2008 - 2:22pm.
I was wondering wtf was up with that shit!
Got it.
Good luck ladies!
*flashes titties to Viva and Miso*
______________________________________________
Even Old Man Fonda is sick of this shit.
Submitted by Falcor on June 18, 2008 - 2:54am.
You may name yourself after the dragon from Neverending Story, but you`ll never be cool like Falcor.
-----------------------------------------------------
*dies*
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
I had to go to Vegas once for a convention... It is awful, awful, soulless, hideous, unnatural awfulness. - Madam S on my hometown (and quite accurate)
Her lips look so weird, they blend into her face. Out of all that other wrong on her face that's the part that creeps me out the most. That whole area is paler than the rest of her face. Your lips are not supposed to be lighter or blend into your face, that's just weird.
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on
________________
If u get bored today, you should try lookin at my page, you have to be signed in to see it, and readin a blog.... it should be something to keep you entertained!
8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8
Forever chasing the high of the very first time.
this is what that Heidi montage girl is going to look like in 30 years
She looks like the Crypt Keeper. When will they learn, trying to hold on to youth through plastic surgery only makes you look like an alien creature. Did they not get the Joan Rivers memo, that bitch can't feel herself smile and she looks like a Stan Lee creation.
What do these people see when they look in the mirror? Do they think they look good? Who lies to them to give them courage to show their mutilated faces?
I don't know angel_i. It's certainly not a common procedure.
I tend to believe that story in view of the total loss of shape of her lips, especially the lower one.
Poor Joan...
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on June 17, 2008 - 10:36am.
I've heard that a few years ago, Joan asked her plastic surgeon to cut along her lips and stitch them back on outwardly. That would certainly explain the strange look of her mouth.
***********************************
Wow. Did she invent this procedure?
♥ But when will GAYELLE marriage be legal?
Lean Like a Chola
I don't care for the Tammy Faye mascara look.
Chris E - LMAO @ Satan's Wet Nurse
Why does she look like she has mouth herpes???
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
I had to go to Vegas once for a convention... It is awful, awful, soulless, hideous, unnatural awfulness. - Madam S on my hometown (and quite accurate)
Hello, Heather Locklear in five years.
__________________________________________
It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
The only women I ever see with eyelashes like this are the ones who buy like thirty tubes of the same cheap stuff they wore in 1977 and never throw it out when it finally dries up.
Someone steer Joan to an Estee Lauder, Lancome, of MAC counter, ASAP.
I've heard that a few years ago, Joan asked her plastic surgeon to cut along her lips and stitch them back on outwardly. That would certainly explain the strange look of her mouth.
Her nose job is very "old Hollywood" and is not very flattering. I also suspect that those horrible eyebrows are tattooed in. Joan is a natural blond and probably thought she could dispense with the pencil that way.
At least the skin looks sort of normal here. From now on, she should focus on toning down her make-up and accept the aging process. And no more plastic surgery!
Submitted by coca on June 18, 2008 - 12:27am.
Yeah, it's not the running that makes her look like death, it's the pact with Satan.
----------------------------------------------------
TimTams Rule!
For 65 she's not that bad.
I think it's all the running that she does, not the face lift, that makes her look so gaunt.
Melts like wax.
Why won't she just use some Visine?? Just a couple drops will do it.
And LOL at whoever said that's Heidi in 20 years!!
waaaaaaaaa I miss Knotts and JVA..
o\^_-/o
Still fug.
deedee- I totally didn't even read your comment before I posted mine. We must be on the same wave length or something.
That's what Heidi's going to look like in 20 years!
she looks like shes got herp lip sores covered in 1/2 inch layer of pancake...revolting.
You guys are killing me here. Sorry, but I've got nothing to add. I blew all my ammunition on Joan Van Ark yesterday. Keep it coming though!
*______________________________________*
"Hef's emaciated sperm and those Rhodes Scholars: that'd be a contribution to the gene pool." - Sheeps, 6/17/08
Click here if you love kitties
She does look a tad tiny bit better here...but i agree that the spiders on her eyes need to go!! Time to change up that mascara Joan!...its starting to clump just a little...
This is what Madonna will look like in 5 years, give or take 2.
She looks a helluva lot better here!
BTW, my mother has a tendency to wear her mascara just. like. this. I can't get her to stop. Maybe it's an age thing, because she and Joan are almost the same age.
You so ugly, you look like you got superpowers
Have her lips been REATTACHED?!!
----------------------------------------------------
TimTams Rule!
You can't fool us, Joan Van Ark. We know you're dead. Whatever mortician you hire as a makeup artist is a genius, sure - but tho you can hide a lot of litte flaws with makeup, you just can't hide death.
♥ But when will GAYELLE marriage be legal?
Lean Like a Chola
ahi dios mio!
Vanity makes some people its whore, but age makes everyone its bitch.
As completely shiteous as she looks here, she looks better than the picture of her the other day...gott dayum!
Look in a mirror, you old bag.
It seems her corpse is thawing out a bit.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on June 17, 2008 - 10:45am.
-------------------------------------------------
Hahaha at "Satan's wetnurse". I may have to borrow that one, if you don't mind.
**************************************
Sláinte duine a ól.
Submitted by Knuckles_Johnson on June 17, 2008 - 11:46pm.
Wouldn't matter. A face that pale emits it's own unholy light.
----------------------------------------------------
TimTams Rule!
Imagine entering into a dark room, turning on the lights, and finding Joan standing there in the corner.
If she stopped wearing shimmery, pale disco makeup, she wouldn't look like Satan's wetnurse.
Dark stains are your friends, Joan.
----------------------------------------------------
TimTams Rule!
Joan in an ambitious manner has been fighting aging, she lost.
The Knots have landed Joan.
Whipped, sheared and beat.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA"
She's as fresh as a mountain meadow on a spring morning.
Assuming, of course the mountain meadow sits at the bottom of Chernobyl.
I can't believe she leaves the house. Doesn;t she have family or friends who will tell her how horrid she looks?
**************************************************
“everyone of the contestants is very special in there own way"
-Paris Hilton
Submitted by chefcammi on June 17, 2008 - 10:40am.
oh my god her lips are sick butthole lips after too many hot dogs!
WRONG! we are wrong and soooo right about that!
______________________________________________
Even Old Man Fonda is sick of this shit.
Her top lip looks like a slug.
**************************************
Sláinte duine a ól.
She looks like one of the creatures from the God of War game.
Perma chapped lip look and the jaw line of a prize fighter. Smexy no?
♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
lolo- arent hotdogs lips and assholes? so, JVA is a hotdog or an asshole?
hahaha
She still looks like a recovering burn victim.
What we have here are some sick butthole lips.
_____________________________________________
Even Old Man Fonda is sick of this shit.