Monday, June 23rd 2008
The Greatest Song Of Heidi Montag's Life
"The greatest song" of Heidi Montag's life is the worst song of my life. You know Jem and the Holograms passed on this trash before Heidi took it. I don't even think this horsey bitch is singing in English! This skank needs to take a few ESL courses before trying to to sing in English. And she even tries to sing in French, but it sounds more like Pepe Le Pew talking in gibberish. It's time for Heidi to give up "music" altogether. She needs a new hobby! Snuff films, maybe?
Listen to Heidi's "Fashion" below or click here. Your ears will probably go on strike after listening to this atrocious shit, so don't be surprised if you can't hear the rest of the day.
VIA UsWeekly
Red One!
HEIDI!
Ohhh Ohhh
La La La
We Love Designer
I am, I’m too fabu-lous
I’m so fierce that it’s so nuts
I live, to be model thin
Dress me, I’m your manne-quin
(A bunch of designer names in a “French” accent)
Fashion put it all on me
Don’t you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Fashion put it all on me
Don’t you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Ohhhh Ohhhhh
La La La
We love designer
I need, some new stile-ttos
Can’t walk, down the street in those
You are, who you wear it’s true
A girl’s just as hot as the shoe she chooses
(A bunch of designer names in a “French” accent)
[Fashion Lyrics On http://www.elyricsworld.com/ ]
Fashion put it all on me
Don’t you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Fashion put it all on me
Don’t you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be
Ohhhh Ohhhhh
La La La
We Love Designer
She says "J'adore" before she lists the designer's names. She's trash.
Thanks elyrics for listening so carefully to this mess- I didn't!
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
I'm fucking loving this.
I bet Heidi and Spencer are secret evil geniuses hellbent on taking over the world. Their douche factor and vapidness are brilliantly calculated ploys to get us off the scent. Heidi's "music" is reverse opium for the masses which instead of lulling us to sleep gets us rolling on the floor laughing.
Soon, when we least expect it, they will strike. DUN-DUN-DUN!
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So I guess you want me to paint your chair?
What. The. Fuck? Someone actually listened to this and thought, 'Hey, this is good! Let's put it on an album!' No wonder the French hate us. By the way, did she say something about the ozone layer in the first chorus?
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Goo is what tape is all about! Goo is what makes it tape instead of paper!
Submitted by Suki on June 24, 2008 - 10:35am.
*DIES*
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LOL! Hate to say I told you so but...
I STILL haven't heard it:D
♥ Ah...good times, good times...
Lean Like a Chola
my favorite part is def her intro...
"Heidi!"
I didn't realize she was performing on Kids Incorporated...
Pretty sweet.
and I attempted to actually listen to the lyrics... but once I heard her poetic first lines of "Im too fabulous im so fierce that its so nuts" I had to stop.
*DIES*
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SCHWAAAT did you saaay?!
The song sounds good.hehehe...Heidi looks so pretty.I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site
----"A f f l u e n t B a c h e l o r s.com" ----last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
cool! i cant wait to throw her cd in the garbage!
Don't Feed The Celebs
"I live to be model thin"??? Great message to send out to the kids, bitch!
She is too thin and her boobs are too small! Guess no man would date her and touch her skinny body.
Because more and more men like to date with sexy big beauties on ___P l u s M e e t. c o m____! So many big boob girls, big booty women and big manful guys mingle there for fun and romance.
Oh, and the song sucks so fuckin bad, it belongs of Perez's site as one of his horrible "listen to this!" posts.
Heidi is the epitome of the stereotypical plastic American Bimbo ( I.E. not classy), for her to try to use French in a song is rather silly. Does she really think she's cultivated and elegant?
Submitted by LASHONCARTER on June 23, 2008 - 5:39pm.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE DEATH WIT A BULL HORN
THAT BITCH SHOULD JUST JUMP IN FRONT OF A BUS HER AND HER WERID LOOKING B/F
THIS IS MY WORLD YALL HOS JUST LIVE IN IT
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Usually all-caps screams dipshit trying too hard or dipshit who can't type for shit. But in this case, it's hot shit.
This skeeze always looks like a posed blow-up doll.
Oh yeah, super 80s! The Jem reference totally sold me on it.
Too bad this isn't Panama in 1989. This would have him driven Noriega willingly into captivity by the first three notes.
That ain't fucking music. It's fucking bullshit.
The song sounds good.hehehe...Heidi looks so pretty.I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site
----"A f f l u e n t B a c h e l o r s.com" ----last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
Heyeeeeeee! How awful!
Didn't she get her nose shaved down in addition to the other plastic works she had done? It's a good thing too, can you imagine her singing through a LARGER one? aaaiieeeeeeee!
I think that just cost McCain the election.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
lol
lol
lol
lol
Submitted by Hekki on June 24, 2008 - 2:10am.
Her "natural" shade is probably what they call "dishwater blonde". But it's not the color itself that bugs me as much as the knowledge that she bleached it and got the fake boobs so she could live like the plastic Hollywood Barbie she is. Dumb cunt.
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"This damn reality bullshit has got to stop before the crenellations in everyone's frontal lobes start smoothing out, giving us all lobotomies by drivel on tv." - Kizzy, 6/19/08
Can't say. I haven't heard it:)
♥ Ah...good times, good times...
Lean Like a Chola
wow shes so bad. stop,just stop
Don't Feed The Celebs
Submitted by Migraineuse: "About the hair color:
I could have been wrong. It MIGHT be "Edgar Winter" by Garnier."
Oh snap!
The only reason I can't bust on her hair color too much is that I believe she is a natural blonde. I'm sure she hasn't been THAT blonde since she was 2, but at least she's not trying to pull a Madonna.
My hair was close to that shade until I had kids.
Crapalicious!
She makes the Pussycat Dolls seem like the Velvet Underground.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
No I haven't been drinking, why do you ask?
I don't think she's speaking French...She is just naming a bunch of Desginers in a stupid ass accent.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 6:19pm.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you, you HAWT SLUUUT!!
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I don't know how to do the hearts so
heaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart you back, you sexey beeotch.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Wannabe Gwen Stefani?
It's terrible! What the f-ck is she saying? I mean the English, it doesn't sound like English.
And whoever produced this track should be shot. It sounds like the bad trance/house music from 1999.
It sounds like a song they would have on a karaoke at a bar mitzvah in 1998. Only a decade too late, Heidi! I think snuff films sounds about right...maybe ones set in a stable or a barnyard?
What the fuck.
I expected the worst and got even more.
Or less, depending on how you look at it.
Give it up, Mongoose. No one loves you and everyone couldn't care less if you got hit by a bus.
And I'll bet Homer Dudley (the genius who invented to vocoder) has plans to haunt the fuck out of her.
Submitted by pakyooh on June 23, 2008 - 4:54pm.
yey! new ringtone!
~~~~
LMMFAO!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
i should sue this horse of course for braying into my computer...
_____________________________________________
sexy motherfucker...
yey! new ringtone!
Fuck! I had the volume all the way because I was watching a movie on my laptop earlier. I feel sick now...
Can you say Vogue ripoff? What a horsey cunt.
I totally wanted to download this just because of the Jem & Holograms reference but you're right, can't understand a fucking word and I haven't taken a course in robot yet!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 6:12pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 6:10pm.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you, you HAWT SLUUUT!!
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
The best part about this story is the Jem website link:) You rock MK!♥♥
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
About the hair color:
I could have been wrong. It MIGHT be "Edgar Winter" by Garnier.
*______________________________________*
"This damn reality bullshit has got to stop before the crenellations in everyone's frontal lobes start smoothing out, giving us all lobotomies by drivel on tv." - Kizzy, 6/19/08
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 6:10pm.
ITA For reals!! He's probably thanking his lucky stars he traded up, and didn't settle for a hooker. She may be hot, but she was obviously missing something important he needed.
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Not really... she left him after he'd bought a huge engagement ring = why I feel so shitty and useless.
Must go home. Be back in an hour. PS. Your comments are making me feel MUCH better, btw. Thank you :)
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
I'm pretty sure I hear her say "We like vaginas"....nice
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 23, 2008 - 6:05pm.
Men think with their dicks, but it looks like yours got a second opinion from upstairs.
Also, it's a cliche, but it's true: it's a breakup because it's broken. All the hotness in the world does not guarantee happiness in a relationship.
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Why is it that not everyone thinks that way, because seriously, they should.
Ugh, having so many problems today. Thanks for being sweet.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 23, 2008 - 6:05pm.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 11:57pm
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ITA For reals!! He's probably thanking his lucky stars he traded up, and didn't settle for a hooker. She may be hot, but she was obviously missing something important he needed.
************************************
"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
========================She looks so pretty and large sexy. She is my favor. I saw her new sexy photos in site ‘’W e a l t h y L o v I n g . c o m ’’. So wonder. She is always dating young billionaire on that site.
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Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 5:57pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 5:54pm.
Sheeeeit, a bag of coke and some gold on a roll will distract that bunch long enough for us to take her out. By her weave.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 11:57pm.
Men think with their dicks, but it looks like yours got a second opinion from upstairs.
Also, it's a cliche, but it's true: it's a breakup because it's broken. All the hotness in the world does not guarantee happiness in a relationship.
*______________________________________*
"This damn reality bullshit has got to stop before the crenellations in everyone's frontal lobes start smoothing out, giving us all lobotomies by drivel on tv." - Kizzy, 6/19/08
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 23, 2008 - 4:05pm.
Blame Britney Spears.
She made a lot of money by being a stupid slut with a mediocre voice that had to depend on computer enhancement to sound halfway decent. Now every stupid slut on the planet wants to follow in her footsteps
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no no no you can at lease make it thought brit brit with out wanting to blow you head off hell i don't want like britney's music but against my will i do and i love to dance to it it usally has a great beat. i blame ashlee and jessica simpson for this she looks like chestica and sounds like asshole
;p
All you need in this world is a dirty mind and someone to share it with
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 5:54pm.
True, they do choose hot over smart, but you are a HAWT SLUUUTTT-- bitch can't touch dat.
Also, since you brought it up, it is so stupid men choose hot over smart, the smart girl knows more things to do, more ways to work it.
If you need help in "cuttabeeesh", let me know, I have all that Girl-Scout experience, I could give you a few pointers.
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Yes! Please help! She'd be surrounded by her 18 pimps and 45 half-naked other Bunnies so we'll need reinforcements. Stupid beeotch. I outweigh her by at least 20 or 30 pounds and definitely don't meet the standards of 'hot' in society's eyes as much as she does and fuck, it's hard to know your bf wanted to marry that trash.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by . on June 23, 2008 - 11:48pm.
Agnetha needs to come out of retirement and beat this bitch down. On national TV. I'd pay to see that shit!
P.S. Agnetha's hair is natural.
Aggie is pretty too. Blondes aren't dumb (just the fake ones, ahem).