Monday, June 23rd 2008
The Greatest Song Of Heidi Montag's Life
"The greatest song" of Heidi Montag's life is the worst song of my life. You know Jem and the Holograms passed on this trash before Heidi took it. I don't even think this horsey bitch is singing in English! This skank needs to take a few ESL courses before trying to to sing in English. And she even tries to sing in French, but it sounds more like Pepe Le Pew talking in gibberish. It's time for Heidi to give up "music" altogether. She needs a new hobby! Snuff films, maybe?
Listen to Heidi's "Fashion" below or click here. Your ears will probably go on strike after listening to this atrocious shit, so don't be surprised if you can't hear the rest of the day.
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Submitted by . on June 23, 2008 - 11:48pm.
Agnetha needs to come out of retirement and beat this bitch down. On national TV. I'd pay to see that shit!
P.S. Agnetha's hair is natural.
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"This damn reality bullshit has got to stop before the crenellations in everyone's frontal lobes start smoothing out, giving us all lobotomies by drivel on tv." - Kizzy, 6/19/08
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 5:49pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 5:45pm.
True, they do choose hot over smart, but you are a HAWT SLUUUTTT-- bitch can't touch dat.
Also, since you brought it up, it is so stupid men choose hot over smart, the smart girl knows more things to do, more ways to work it.
If you need help in "cuttabeeesh", let me know, I have all that Girl-Scout experience, I could give you a few pointers.
I am on topic, she references stilettos in the song. There are other kinds.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 2:45pm.
What-ing?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kvell: to burst with pride from the achievements of your loved ones.
"Oy! I'm kvelling! My son finally graduated from law school!
Oy, I'm kvelling. My daughter is a up and coming Playboy Bunny." ....mmmmm, not so much.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately~~George Carlin
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 5:45pm.
She's a mindless whore with no talent other than her body. You have a brain, you know how to use it, and your sexual prowess is only an asset to your personality as a whole, rather than the only facet to your personality. You win, legs closed.
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Let's hope so. You know men, given the choice between a smart chick and a hot chick, most go with the hot one.
I'm not going to lie, his and my sex life isn't doing so hot and she better not have anything to do with that or I'll cut her.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 23, 2008 - 5:45pm.
I thought it was "I Really, Really Wish I Were Agnetha Faltskog" by Clairol.
LMAO!
*choking*
*giggling*
*GASPING*
*Breathing* Phew.
Submitted by . on June 23, 2008 - 11:41pm.
Stoney, I believe this is Preference "Straw" by L'Oreal.
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I thought it was "I Really, Really Wish I Were Agnetha Faltskog" by Clairol.
*______________________________________*
"This damn reality bullshit has got to stop before the crenellations in everyone's frontal lobes start smoothing out, giving us all lobotomies by drivel on tv." - Kizzy, 6/19/08
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 23, 2008 - 5:42pm.
Oy, her parents must be kvelling.
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What-ing?
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 5:40pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 5:31pm
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She's a mindless whore with no talent other than her body. You have a brain, you know how to use it, and your sexual prowess is only an asset to your personality as a whole, rather than the only facet to your personality. You win, legs closed.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 -
an up-and-coming Playboy bunny.
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Oy, her parents must be kvelling.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately~~George Carlin
oh
my
goodness
w
t
f
was that??
Stoney, I believe this is Preference "Straw" by L'Oreal.
WILL.NOT.WATCH.
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
But fuck all that noise, you want to make out?
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 5:31pm.
ITA- Stalking is just so passe. Besides, the reeking cloud of desperation gives them away long before they get close.
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It's not so much stalkering, it's her having the inability to realize he's with someone else. It's her inability to realize that she can't win everything with her wide open vagina.
On that note, having a seriously hard time getting over the fact that my bf's ex is an up-and-coming Playboy bunny. Have been on the verge of fake-killing self/not eating anything but 4 Special K flakes daily for the past two weeks.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE DEATH WIT A BULL HORN
THAT BITCH SHOULD JUST JUMP IN FRONT OF A BUS HER AND HER WERID LOOKING B/F
THIS IS MY WORLD YALL HOS JUST LIVE IN IT
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/BUNNY420
Heidi needs to sing this on Letterman w/ Spencer on the casio in the background.
Tee hee, mudwhistle.
Chocolate sauce pucker.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Bye PSL. Have many sexy times with peanut butter and chocolate frosting.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
OH. MY. GAWD. (in Ali Lohan voice). I was trying to figure out what the hell STILEH TOES was...thought it was French for camel toes...that was beyond bad. Hell I'm unemployed at the moment, I'm going to record a song too and be FAYmous...
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 23, 2008 - 5:25pm.
Excellent suggestion.
If this cumdumpster could play more than the butt trumpet or hummer a swizzle stick, maybe she wouldn't be so gawwdawful.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
What color is her hair exactly? Whoring Sunrise by Revlon?
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
bye psl!
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Cause your mouth's writing checks that your ass can't cash.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 5:25pm.
ITA- Stalking is just so passe. Besides, the reeking cloud of desperation gives them away long before they get close.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Seriously, that homemade choc. frosting and crunchy peanut butter sandwich sounds YUM!
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 23, 2008 - 4:25pm.
In the name of the late great George Carlin, I propose that we insult this waste of oxygen as obscenely as humanly possible.
The best part of her ran down her mother's leg the night they made this uholy bitch.
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Cause your mouth's writing checks that your ass can't cash.
Ciao PSL!
Have a lovely and computer free afternoon!
♥ Ah...good times, good times...
Lean Like a Chola
bye PSL... I just got back from a lame ass meeting sorry we didn't get to finish drooling over our doggies!
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
But fuck all that noise, you want to make out?
LCT, you are cracking me up.
On that note, i am off! Don't think I'll be near a computer for the next 5 hours, so have a great afternoon/evening all....see you later!
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“Am I the only one that care about this girl! Sure it's strange to see vains in the breasts, so what!! It's fucking normal to have these vains!"
ZarZerDude 6/22/08 re: Xtina
Submitted by The C word on June 23, 2008 - 5:22pm
"mudwhistle" LOVES IT!!!
LCT's mudwhistle sounds better than this cumdumpster.
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on June 23, 2008 - 5:23pm.
*hands LCT home made Chocolate frosting and crunchy peanut butter sandwich and some Bose surround headphones, plays Twin Peaks soundtrack*
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You're my new favourite. High five. I could seriously orgasm at the thought of a peanut butter and frosting sandwich right now. Big fat slices of soft white bread. All the carbs. So good.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
In the name of the late great George Carlin, I propose that we insult this waste of oxygen as obscenely as humanly possible.
I'll begin by quoting MK:
"This cunt from cuntville needs a fucking cunt filter".
Imagine a cunt filter on Heidi Montag. Nothing would be left but the sound of crickets.
*______________________________________*
"This damn reality bullshit has got to stop before the crenellations in everyone's frontal lobes start smoothing out, giving us all lobotomies by drivel on tv." - Kizzy, 6/19/08
Submitted by Migraineuse on June 23, 2008 - 2:05pm.
Blame Britney Spears.
She made a lot of money by being a stupid slut with a mediocre voice that had to depend on computer enhancement to sound halfway decent. Now every stupid slut on the planet wants to follow in her footsteps.
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Too true!! Although Britney had better music....this shit Heidi is warbling to is straight up generic boom box crap. BLECH!
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Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, "Thank you?"
Jimmy Fallon
In this PMS state, can I just vividly express how much I effing HATE EXES WHO WON'T LEAVE SOMEONE ELSE'S CURRENT BF ALONE?!
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by . on June 23, 2008 - 5:21pm.
LC, if you do that, please have your cellphone handy and record the incident and post it on youtube. Pwitty pwease?
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Deal. I might flush her head in the toilet too.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Kizzy, Migraineuse.. feel much better now. People seem to have a habit of standing outside of my office during cell phone calls. Don't know why my office and no one else's but get some GD consideration. Oh, on the train last week this dirty disgusting mom with 3 kids got on the train and started yelling into her phone, firing off the F-Bomb and all this shit, then had the audacity to tell people to 'take a picture because it'll last longer' when she was getting stares.
Today, I hope she gets typhoid.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 5:19pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 5:18pm.
How about "Jizz is a Great Gargle", "I Deepthroat Zucchini" or "Maybe Now I Can Buy Some Tits"
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"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 5:19pm
*hands LCT home made Chocolate frosting and crunchy peanut butter sandwich and some Bose surround headphones, plays Twin Peaks soundtrack*
On T: Heidi is PMS, preening materialistic slag.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
angel_i, I agree.....Heidi definitely belongs on the BangBus.......along with Audrina and that Whitney Idiot.
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“Am I the only one that care about this girl! Sure it's strange to see vains in the breasts, so what!! It's fucking normal to have these vains!"
ZarZerDude 6/22/08 re: Xtina
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 5:18pm.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 5:13pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 4:51pm.
I gotta go with Christine the Hoff on this one: I'd rather hear your bumcircle, I'm POSITIVE it has more talent than this twit.
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I prefer the term "mudwhistle".
OnT: Bad night at karaoke.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm sort of shy, and I'm not much of a talker, but if you poke me I'll probably rustle up a sentence or two.
Submitted by Sheeps on June 23, 2008 - 3:56pm.
Submitted by angel_i on June 23, 2008 - 1:52pm.
It's just that my real-life name is Mike.
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That's pretty hot. I've always thought that Heidi is missing her calling on the Bang Bus. I mean - I think she could be a real star! (Really, I do.)
♥ Ah...good times, good times...
Lean Like a Chola
wow
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 5:19pm.
*Phew* I'm about to smack the living shit out of any loud-talkers today. Someone I don't even know just walked past my office on their way to the bathroom and made an effort to peek into my office. I'm about to chase her down and beat her with her own purse. Don't GD look at me.
LC, if you do that, please have your cellphone handy and record the incident and post it on youtube. Pwitty pwease?
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 5:14pm.
When you're PMSing, do you ever seriously think to yourself, "Who the fuck do these people think they are, talking loud enough for me to hear them?"
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The prairie dogs in my office force me to have that thought on a daily basis. When I'm PMSing, I just say loudly how much I love that Whack-A-Mole game, and it usually gets a bit quieter.
************************************
"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 11:14pm.
When you're PMSing, do you ever seriously think to yourself, "Who the fuck do these people think they are, talking loud enough for me to hear them?"
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I must have permanent PMS, because I think that every time I hear a loud talker.
Loud talkers = narcissists who like to dominate the space around them.
*______________________________________*
"This damn reality bullshit has got to stop before the crenellations in everyone's frontal lobes start smoothing out, giving us all lobotomies by drivel on tv." - Kizzy, 6/19/08
I hate to say it, but I actually like this song. It's like Ace of Base meets Aqua meets an abortion.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 5:18pm.
I gotta go with Christine the Hoff on this one: I'd rather hear your bumcircle, I'm POSITIVE it has more talent than this twit.
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Any song requests? How about Heidi's first single, "Spencer has no Johnson".
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
I made better "songs" on E-Jay (remember that shit) about 9 years ago with like a basic beat and a snare... Off with her head!
Submitted by christine the hoff on June 23, 2008 - 5:17pm.
I don't have to have pms, I think that every fucking day, at home, at work, doesn't matter.
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*Phew* I'm about to smack the living shit out of any loud-talkers today. Someone I don't even know just walked past my office on their way to the bathroom and made an effort to peek into my office. I'm about to chase her down and beat her with her own purse. Don't GD look at me.
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on June 23, 2008 - 5:13pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 23, 2008 - 4:51pm.
I gotta go with Christine the Hoff on this one: I'd rather hear your bumcircle, I'm POSITIVE it has more talent than this twit.
************************************
"His name is not 'fat shit cat,' it's Meatball...and he's eating your crab cakes."
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
I don't have to have pms, I think that every fucking day, at home, at work, doesn't matter.
today's pisser is the loss of george carlin.
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Cause your mouth's writing checks that your ass can't cash.
Submitted by christine the hoff on June 23, 2008 - 5:14pm.
LCT
I'd prefer to hear your bumcircle, it cannot be worse.
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It's actually quite pleasant. No risk of it sounding remotely technical. And the only bleeding would be from the fissure!
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To Wong Foo - Thanks for everything.
Love Carrottopelina.