Cell Phone In Ass
Basically, this dude right here shoved a cell phone up his ass. You see, Jeffrey Barrier was arrested at a tanning salon in Cincinnati for allegedly trying to take pictures of a nekkid woman. 41-year-old Jeffrey stood on a chair to get pictures of the chick. When the fuzz arrived, Jeffrey denied away and said he didn't have a camera with him.
When the police searched his ass, literally, they found the shitty cell phone camera. Don't ask me how this sick fuck got the cell phone up his ass. Don't ask me to demonstrate either. I save fuckery like that for the end of the week. My ass needs a couple of days to recover.
Seriously though, he's one talented butt fucker. I bet he can text his friends with his sphincter. And screw a mug shot! I want an ass shot! His ass can probably smile and wink for the camera too!
Source: The Smoking Gun
Submitted by DeeDee on June 25, 2008 - 11:43am.
i got rocks up in me noggin area! But you knew that already!
______________________________________________
I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Bwahahaha, handful of manful! OMG you are too fucking funny betch.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
~George Carlin. RIP George.
Submitted by DeeDee on June 25, 2008 - 11:36am.
ha ha ha!!!!!
I like a handful of manful when i go in for a hug!
______________________________________________
I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Submitted by sexybigbeauty on June 25, 2008 - 10:33am.
Ass? I saw so many big ass beauties at _____PlusMeet.c o m____, where many sexy big beauties and big manful guys meet together for fun&romance! *************
There are also many hot sexy ass videos and photos!
_________________________________________
LMFAO! If only all you annoying spammers were this entertaining. Ooooo, I'm currently looking for a big manful guy.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
~George Carlin. RIP George.
Submitted by sexybigbeauty on June 25, 2008 - 11:33am.
Ass? I saw so many big ass beauties at _____PlusMeet.c o m____, where many sexy big beauties and big manful guys meet together for fun&romance! *************
There are also many hot sexy ass videos and photos!
AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH HA HA HA HA HAAH AHA HA HA HA
______________________________________________
I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Ass? I saw so many big ass beauties at _____PlusMeet.c o m____, where many sexy big beauties and big manful guys meet together for fun&romance! *************
There are also many hot sexy ass videos and photos!
this is one of those rare ocassions when you really need to go to some more bars before you go to those places...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Al Sleet, the "hippie-dippie weatherman" — "Tonight's forecast: Dark. Continued dark throughout most of the evening, with some widely-scattered light towards morning." GC
this guy is a CREEP. the police need to watch him. I hope he doesn't bother that lady any more.
"No, Jeff, I'm good. I'll just find a payphone. But thanks for the offer."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm doing a paper on solicitor/client privilege. And it's actually very interesting.
Submitted by gucci on June 25, 2008 - 12:12am.
the only reason i think of as to why he easily got a cellphone up his butt is because uh, well its been stretched out due to uh, certain activity?
-----------------------------------------------
Call waiting?
**************************************
Sláinte duine a ól.
the only reason i think of as to why he easily got a cellphone up his butt is because uh, well its been stretched out due to uh, certain activity?
___________________
Honestly, this girl needs to dig a hole and stick her head in it.
She has no intelligence, no class, no beauty, no charm NOTHING doing for her.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Rumor Willis
i hate it when assholes call me from jail
-----------------------------
"Modern man, evolutionary betrayer.
Modern man, ecosystem destroyer.
Modern man, destroy yourself in shame.
Modern man, pathetic example of Earth's organic heritage."
Submitted by Aunt Bea on June 24, 2008 - 9:38pm.
Can you imagine if someone called him and his ass started ringing?
____________
BUWAHAHAHA!
~*~*~*~*
http://pornstarbabylon.wordpress.com/
Wonder if he can get a wallet and set of keys up there too. Is that what a real fanny pack is all about?
Can you imagine if someone called him and his ass started ringing?
So that's where my phone went
Whatever you do: Don't Feed The Celebs
Submitted by Snarky on June 24, 2008 - 3:52pm.
Another reason Im ashamed to say I live in Cincinnati. Dear lord!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I also live in a suburb north of Cincinnati, and it was bad enough when I read Ohio-then I saw Cincinnati. Good to know Ohio is home of the table fucker and the phone in the ass perv.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦♥♥♥♥♥♥♦♦♦♦♦♦
The only gossip I'm interested in is in the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra burst, 11 injured.' That kind of thing. -Johnny Depp
God be with you, dumbass.
how many people were in this guys circle?
_____________________________________________
sexy motherfucker...
Somehow, I can see this as a cuntry song entitled:
I Got a Cell Phone in My Ass, How'd It Get There?
Lyrics people, we need lyrics...Jessica Simpson can sing back up (get it? back up) for Kenny Chesney on this one...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
He was testing AT&T's claim "More bars in more places."
♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin
That's nothing. My poor husband had to test a baggie of meth that was wedged into the vagina of a morbidly obese homeless woman. The smell was intoxicating.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on June 24, 2008 - 1:54pm.
I've been having T-Val write a few jokes for me, for scale, but sometimes he goes off half-cocked. I asked him if he had any cell-phone-in-the-ass material, and that's what he came up with. I had no idea he'd use the material I paid good money for. My litigation management team is all over it, once they get back from an extended lunch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm doing a paper on solicitor/client privilege. And it's actually very interesting.
I wonder if he can manage a heavy breathing call?
Imagine the skidmarks that it leaves behind.
When he has to toot he puts it on mute
I recall reading an article in a medical journal a few years back. Some dude presented to hospital saying he had lost a cucumber up his arse during foreplay. Try as they may, the doctors couldn't manipulate the veg out. When they opened the guy up in the OT, they delivered a 33cm butternut pumpkin.
What a liar!
If people would stop putting cell phones up their asses we wouldn't all be forced to continually partake in such lowbrow humor.
very true madams......you can always count on at least one good cackle from one of their comments.
**************************************************
“I love animals and the cruel things people say are not acceptable. Puppies are not accessories or toys and I love my own pets dearly–I treat them as if they were my children."
-Paris Hilton
Ahhahaa parissucks,
Why am I not even REMOTELY surprised by that?? We can always count on our Sheeps and Team V.
Lazy Mofos, party of _______
www.myspace.com/triston
madams....hehehhe...it was first TV, then Sheeps.....shocker, eh? those two have no sense of humor.....
**************************************************
“I love animals and the cruel things people say are not acceptable. Puppies are not accessories or toys and I love my own pets dearly–I treat them as if they were my children."
-Paris Hilton
Awww... parissucks,
I guess TheBreakdown at least entertained us lazy mofos that can't be bothered to read through all of the comments! xoxo
Ahhahaa TheBreakdown!
Submitted by TheBreakdown on June 24, 2008 - 1:48pm.
"Can you hear me?"
Can you hear me now?"
===========
sorry hon, but that joke was told.....twice already.....
**************************************************
“I love animals and the cruel things people say are not acceptable. Puppies are not accessories or toys and I love my own pets dearly–I treat them as if they were my children."
-Paris Hilton
"Can you hear me?"
Can you hear me now?"
www.myspace.com/triston
Thanks for answering my questing everyone - once again, Dlisted has proved itself a valuable educational resource.
On the bright side cell phones have gotten so compact. Fifteen years ago this little shenanigan would have been extra rough on him.
luscious, a Maine Coonie that acts like your friend's is pretty random. They're usually very sweet, playful and hilarious. I know someone who has one (Gershwin) who rarely comes out from under her bed. Again, uncoonie-like behavior
Submitted by luscious_t on June 24, 2008 - 3:50pm.
Always, it's Ohio - we got the table fucker, too
:\
****************************************
Hey luscious_t, I'll let you in on a secret. I'm from Ohio (Akron) too. I left 21 yrs ago. Whew!! Do you remember the story about the woman judge who kept that pregnant college exchange student from Japan in jail because the girl was pregnant and the judge heard she was going to get an abortion? Kept her in the chokey for the max sentence so she was forced to give birth. I don't miss the weird Ohio shit, believe me!! Don't get me wrong, we have plenty of wild stuff in Cali but there's a certain "brand" of weirdness in Ohio. My family still lives there.
I have a friend w/ a maine Coon and that poor cat has issues. First off, he's mean and kinda scary - hides under furniture and hisses etc whenever she has company. To top it off, cat's been treated for OCD - medicated - the works. she says Bentley's doing better, but I'm tellin ya, she's the only human that cat likes. lol
*****
I'm a proud SP!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Hey, City Barbie! Long time no see!
***********************************************
My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Always, it's Ohio - we got the table fucker, too
:\
*****
I'm a proud SP!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Submitted by DiamondDawg on June 24, 2008 - 12:43pm.
I had a Maine Coon until recently.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would like to get a Maine Coon as soon as there is an opening at "Bunny's House of Pet Hair and Kitty Roca," which God Willing, won't be for a while.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Looks Fade, Old Age Happens, It’s Just Part Of Our Journey So U Better Have A Good Sense Of Who U Are And What Is Real~~OXA, 6/24/08
Thanks DiamondDawg ;-) and I'm so sorry about your Maine Coonie. That's my little girl, Mimi in the pic. We live in Cali where there are plenty of Coyotes and hawks that go after pets. Again, so sorry about your kitty boy! :-(
Submitted by City Barbie on June 24, 2008 - 12:43pm.
Q: Who was on the phone honey?
A: I dunno. Just some asshole.
-----------
Girl, you are on a ROLL.....hahahahhaa
**************************************************
“I love animals and the cruel things people say are not acceptable. Puppies are not accessories or toys and I love my own pets dearly–I treat them as if they were my children."
-Paris Hilton
baaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @ City's Q&A
City Barbie, I'm so in love with your av. I had a Maine Coon until recently. He looked like your cat, only my cat had more black stripes. He was killed by coyotes in late winter. :cry:
Q: Who was on the phone honey?
A: I dunno. Just some asshole.
Hey Team Valtrex!! LMAO at the Kathy Hilton comment!!!
The muffled Looney Tunes ring tone probably gave them the clue.
=========
hahahahahhaha CityBarbie
**************************************************
“I love animals and the cruel things people say are not acceptable. Puppies are not accessories or toys and I love my own pets dearly–I treat them as if they were my children."
-Paris Hilton