Smart Move, Uma

Uma Thurman is engaged to her rich bitch boyfriend Arpad "Arki" Busson. Wise move. You can never have too much money and Swiss money is even better. Don't ask me why Swiss money is better. It just is.

Uma's spokesbitch confirmed the engagement to People. A source also said that Arki dressed Uma's bony finger with an "8-plus carat center stone surrounded by 20 smaller stones." Another source told the NYDN the ring is so big that "she can't fit it through the sleeve of her coat." I think I just came.

This is Uma's second marriage. She has two kids with Ethan Hawke. Arki has two kids with Elle Macpherson. Apparently, he never married Elle, because she's been divorced and he's a strict Catholic. Uma's vagina must have the right moves.

Uma better book them a flight to Las Vegas right fucking now! Elope! She also better eat the damn prenup. Put some steak sauce on that bitch and swallow it whole.