HoHan's Secret Sister!
Just when I'm beginning to think that all the HoHan drama is dying down, Michael Lohan has to open his big mouth and start yapping. Michael told OK! Magazine that HoHan has a secret sister. In case you didn't know, this is how the Lohans communicate with each other. They blab to the press.
Michael confessed to doing sexy times with some other bitch while he was separated from White Oprah. The bitch he was fucking contacted him years later and said she had his child.
The bitch told OK! that Michael has talked to his secret daughter several times and even called her on her 13th birthday this month. Michael has never visited his secret daughter and has never given her any of HoHan's hard-earned cash. Well, he doesn't have any dough. Secret daughter's mommy said, "It's time for Michael to take responsibility."
In my lesbian soap opera fantasies, HoHan's secret sister would be revealed as none other than...SAMRO! No, she doesn't have the Lohan's trademark orange skin. Yes, she's like ten years older than HoHan, but let a homo dream!
And expect a 30-page statement from White Oprah in 5....4...3...
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When you said secret sister all I could think was some fat chick hiding in the attic…
With all of this publicity about the new Lohan sib, she may turn out to be the Twisted sister!
She´ll be a bitch too.
Michael Lohan is a douche
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
no worries...i'm sure white oprah will try to figure out a way to make this other lohan kid a star...just like ali..
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
A new sister? Shh! Don't tell White Oprah, she'll have her working the streets in no time.
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I love Lindz' coke-mouth pout in that pic. (Heh. I usually need a couple of rails to be around my asshole father, too.)
Kiss,
Fifi
"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction..."
NICE! at least come up with your own shit you spammy piece of dookey.
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But fuck all that noise, you want to make out? - Angelina Jolie-Pitt
Shit like this is why I am Team LiLo. Look at what she's got to work with.I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site ----"W e a l t h y D a t e r.com" ----last week. It is said she
is dating young billionaire on that site.
Blows my mind how many men simply don't understand the concepts of condoms.
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http://fuzzygalore.buzznet.com
Submitted by Migraineuse: "Chaps are assless by definition. If they weren't, they'd be PANTS."
also not to be forgotten if michael lohan's jail/prison sentences.
@PSL and Viva,
Everyone gigs LindsLo at the Lesbian thing with Sam Ronson, but I have just never gotten that vibe. i always have thought as Sam Ronson as a parenting type.
Lohan is looking better and acting much better since Sam took over her immediate care. ala Jaime Spears.
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"The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions."~~~GC
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on June 27, 2008 - 1:00pm.
Shit like this is why I am Team LiLo. Look at what she's got to work with.
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Right on, sistah.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Near the end, "Sir, you kill my children with this price."
PSL - I agree. You can see it all over the Lohan spawn, they are all so desperate for attention because their dad has spent half his life curled up with a bottle of Scotch and the other half in front of Access Hollywood's cameras and their mom has only seen them in relation to their total net worth.
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But fuck all that noise, you want to make out? - Angelina Jolie-Pitt
VLL, Lilo never stood a chance....and mark my words, Ali will not live to see 20.
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"In a word or two, it's you I wanna do; no not your body your mind you fool..."
- Prince "Sexy Muthafucka"
Who needs reality TV, soap operas or novellas when we have this circus for free.
Here are my candidates for Blohan's Half Sister:
Shiblob Jolie-Pitt
Suri Cruise
Katherine HielHitler
Olson Trolls
Vern Troyer
stfu michael lohan. act grown!
confessions of a broken heart (daughter to father)
I wait for the postman to bring me a letter/I wait for the good lord to make me feel better and I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders/a family in crisis that only grows older/why'd you have to go?/why'd you have to go?/why'd you have to go?/daughter to father daughter to father/I am broken but I am hoping/ daughter to father daughter to father/I am crying a part of me is dying and/these are the/ confessions of a broken heart/I wear all your old clothes your polo sweater/I dream of another you a one who would never (ever)/leave me alone to pick up the pieces/a daddy to hold me that's what I needed/(so) why'd you have to go?/why'd you have to go?/why'd you have to go?/daughter to father daughter to father/I don't know you but I still want to/father daughter to father daughter/tell me the truth did u ever love me?/cause these are the confessions of a broken heart/I love you I loved you /I love you I loved you.
from the cd lindsay lohan/a little more personal (raw) 2005
Shit like this is why I am Team LiLo. Look at what she's got to work with.
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But fuck all that noise, you want to make out? - Angelina Jolie-Pitt
hohan going to RELAPSE in 3..2...
poor kid being related to these fuck ups and i really hate the term bastard
;p
All you need in this world is a dirty mind and someone to share it with
great.. now we gotta fucking put up with the lohan bastard wanting to be famous.... I wonder if she'll end up a crackhead like the rest of them...of couse she will she's a lohan
*yawns* does any body actually give a rats arse??
~♥~"Since I'm holding my son, I'm Not Gonna Belt In His Face!"~ Xtina to Larry King~♥~
~♥~"Oh My God! They've got little animals on their peepees, it's kinda funny ~Xtina~ ♥~
Doesn't Samantha have a twin named Charlotte? Well, maybe he has two secret daughters.
Bradiful Bitch: More like gene-pond-scum than an actual pool.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Momus the Sarcastic on June 27, 2008 - 3:09pm
Nice, I didn't even think about that gene pool.
Wonky Half Breed...*blinks, FUCK!*
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Mel-Tang: Thanks.
Bradiful Bitch: Let's pray that Daddy Hilton doesn't have another brat in the closet. A Wonky-Sticky half-sister would be too much.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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angel_i, he is probably all of young hollyweird's baby daddy. LOL
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr6Y6kOo5rY
Hey Preppie
Where is the Dr. M when you need him???
He used to offer valuable advice to Lindsay on here.
She needs you now more than ever, Dr. M
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr6Y6kOo5rY
Hey Preppie
Hey! Maybe he's K-fed's Daddy too!
♥ Just because I have my standards they think I'm a bitch. ~ Diana Ross Lean Like a Chola
Momus, LOL
Let's see. He has four with Dina (that we know about).
Michael Jr., Lindsay, Aliana, and Cody.
Then there is the lost one, which is number 5.
We can probably safely assume that he didn't knock anyone up in prison, with all the butt sex that was probably going on. Most likely he was too tired.
BUT, the new kid is 13, and Cody is 11. Which means he focked around on Dina two yrs. before Cody was born.
Ew.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr6Y6kOo5rY
Hey Preppie
Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born...
That sibling doesn't stand a chance.
If "Cops" and "Dallas" mated, the Lohan's would be their offspring.
So now what, Daddy Spears is going to ante up a new Spears son and Papa Simpson his new daughter/Jessica's sister.....
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Submitted by Mel-Tang on June 27, 2008 - 11:54am.:
Shit. How many KNOWN kids does he have? He spent some time in prison so we know there is a gap in his jizz-jockeying.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by hotbigbeauty on June 27, 2008 - 10:45am.
He also confessed to HollywoodGossip that he is dating with a sexy big beauty at____PlusMeet.c o m___,
where big boobs hotties, big booty beauties and big guys meet together for fun&romance!............
You mean for a mission impossible.
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Hey sexy wanna come over and play Guitar Hero?
Submitted by Cara on June 27, 2008 - 11:48am.
Just what the world needs, another Lohan. I wonder if this one has the bizarre aging disease the other two suffer from.
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The bizarre aging disease comes from Dina's side of the family. It's related to having to live with Dina.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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the lost sister must be slitting her
wrists knowing she related to this
self serving bunch of wads.
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
Momus, this would be kid number 5!
He doesn't mention kids 1,4,and 5 because they aren't in showbiz. :)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr6Y6kOo5rY
Hey Preppie
Douche-Dad is really rockin' the dad jeans in that photo.
haha
fuck a bunch of fucking hillbilly stumpjumping peckerwoods.
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
♥♥♥ back at ya M.E!!
Cara:
Ain't Rivers cute? *licks computer monitor*
*spits lint and fuzzy things* *frowning*
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I say we get dangerous
This is po'folks Dynasty.
MiLoHo is such a hypocrite spouting his sanctimonious drivel about how much he loves his kids but neglects to mention the fourth one.
Bad me, I forgot, the fourth one isn't a money-maker ... yet.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Miss Priss ♥
FUG TROLL ALERT, FUG TROLL ALERT! ACK!!!!!!! MY EYES!! FUCK!
Miss Priss, I love your Rivers icon! Sexy beast!
Just what the world needs, another Lohan. I wonder if this one has the bizarre aging disease the other two suffer from.
Hi M.E!!!
Mel-Tang
LOL!! No, that Cody kid is a ginger! Pure breed!!
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I say we get dangerous
Is this ugly sister getting her own show too?? WE can call it "WHO GIVES A FUCK".....
Is that the sister in the pic above? The dehydrated looking one?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr6Y6kOo5rY
Hey Preppie
He also confessed to HollywoodGossip that he is dating with a sexy big beauty at____PlusMeet.c o m___,
where big boobs hotties, big booty beauties and big guys meet together for fun&romance!
ISMU, BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHA!
That would have been way more interesting, but no, I think it was Vietnam or one of those stinky wars!
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr6Y6kOo5rY
Hey Preppie
Miss Priss, I have a feeling that the firecrotch gene runs in Dina's family.
It was so funny on one of the Living Lohan episodes, someone tried to say that Cody was blonde.
I was like, bitchez, what are you smoking?
You ALL are firecrotches that cover it up with the bottle.
LOL
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr6Y6kOo5rY
Hey Preppie
Mel-T- I read that way too fast and thought it was about a guy who knocked someone up while serving at The Vatican. Whoops...
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Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!