Nicky Kidman's Birthing Soundtrack
Nicole Kidman is due to pop out her pillow baby sometime soon and she's created the perfect soundtrack for when she goes into labor. Only Nicky Kidman would do this kind of shit. A source said, "Nicole has been putting together CDs of music to listen to during labor. She has always loved James Galway, particularly his classical albums. Whenever you go to her house, she has Galway on. There is one Prokofiev sonata that is her favorite."
Broing ass James Galway? That botox baby is never coming out, because it will be knocked the fuck out! James Galway could put a tweeker to sleep. And why do people always want to put soothing music on when you're going through some fucked up shit? When I had some painful ass dental work done, the dentist put on some easy listening. Like that shit is going to help. I'm sorry, but I don't need Sade cooing in my ear while a fucking drill is going into my toof.
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kizzy
see, here's the thing, my daughter was an emergency c section cause the epideral stopped my labor?
fuck, I was NOT going to go there again, recover from that shit is horrible!!!
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
Submitted by zomay on June 30, 2008 - 4:49pm.
I remember having major thirst and one of my 6 med students watching fainted, fucking FAINTED while I'm pushing out a near 9 lb watermelon.
Submitted by christine the hoff on June 30, 2008 - 4:47pm.
If there is a Christine the badass HOFF Fanclub I wanna be tresurer!!!!! :D
@ angry mom
of course, fuck yes, it's fucking hysterical?
Imagine me sweating and moaning and showing off my clothed pussy to a bunch of eighty year olds, I mean, come on, I could do stand up comedy with that shit!
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
Submitted by christine the hoff on June 30, 2008 - 5:47pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 4:44pm
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You da woman. I bow to your exceptional womanhood, my candyass requires painkillers for even thinking I'm going to be in pain.
Give me blood, guts, and gore galore, but no pain. I can handle anything but pain.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
zomay
isn't labor a trip?it's like being stuck on a runaway train or something!!!
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
Submitted by christine the hoff on June 30, 2008 - 4:38pm.
you poor thing, but this comment... "senior citizen free blood pressure check day, at this point I'm half sitting, half laying in the chair with my legs spread, moaning and all the old fukers are like, "stand back, she's gonna blow!"...has me in stiches...we can laugh about it now right dear? :)
Submitted by devilgirl on June 30, 2008 - 1:38pm.
@Kizzy-Regan! Ha! I know that I would be the same if they slipped some John Mayer in there too. I haven't ever heard any of his crap, but I can only imagine. If I would have ever had children, the soothing sounds of Rob Zombie, Prodigy and Lords of Acid would be playing while expelling a roast from my nose!
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The point is to have relaxing music silly! You dont need to be getting all agro!
Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 4:44pm.
then there's the Hoff school of bitch..
had my son without one drug, got back in my street clothes and was eating a cheeseburger watching a soap opera half an hour later.
my mom comes in
'thought you had the baby?"
I did!
I'm just a badass motherfucker, that's all!
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
The problem here, ladies is, you are not deploying the f bomb enough. I don't care that it's a hospital. Drop a few f bombs, they'll want to make you stop.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by devilgirl on June 30, 2008 - 5:38pm.
@Kizzy-
I am a bitch with an extensive vocabulary, and I'm not afraid to use it. Fuck this notion that most doctors have, their whole 'God complex' bullshit, ok, I get it, you've held human life in your hands, good for you, that's your chosen profession. Somebody had to graduate LAST. I, on the other hand, have a DEEP aversion to PAIN, and when I am in pain, I will most DEFINITELY share it. They will give me drugs to shut me the fuck up, I know, I've seen them do it. You KNOW you are a true bitch when the fucking doctor throws up his hands, walks out and says, "Just give her whatever she wants".
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
thanks, I'm here til thursday, try the veal.
you want A BETTER ONE?
when I had my daughter the cocksuckers made me wait in the common waiting room for FORTY MINUTES before loading me into the elevator, and it was senior citizen free blood pressure check day, at this point I'm half sitting, half laying in the chair with my legs spread, moaning and all the old fukers are like, "stand back, she's gonna blow!"
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
@Kizzy-Regan! Ha! I know that I would be the same if they slipped some John Mayer in there too. I haven't ever heard any of his crap, but I can only imagine. If I would have ever had children, the soothing sounds of Rob Zombie, Prodigy and Lords of Acid would be playing while expelling a roast from my nose!
I have to agree with Nicole on this one. With my last child, I made a CD of all my favorite Sting/Police songs, and whenever I had a contraction, I'd push play and just sing, swaying back and forth, concentrating on the music and not the pain.
Best idea EVER!
if she liked classical music how how how how how how could she for one second stand the ear stink of new countree?? gag!!
I have considered this musical question carefully and I believe I will go with what the doctor likes. because if you are torturing the doctor with something he/she does like it might not be pretty. if the doc has an affinity for horrendous music (e.g. hair metal, new countree) then you know to find a doc.
Listening to music is part of Lamaze, something to focus on til you dilate completely.
christine OMG. your my new hero
'look motherfucker, youre going to admit me or put me in jail, take your fucking pick.' christine the hoff June 30 2008
I gave birth once. Once is fucking enough. They may as well have shoved the morphine up my arse.
Submitted by dustbunny on June 30, 2008 - 4:19pm.
LOL :) Tis true!
Submitted by christine the hoff on June 30, 2008 - 4:19pm.
"love your avvie as always" right back at ya babe-yours is brilliant! Kif and Roger are my alien heros!
"look motherfucker, youre going to admit me or put me in jail, take your fucking pick."
you have no idea how much I love you for saying that...I can't belive those bastards made you wait...like we don't know what's going on with our soon to be exploding bellies
Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 4:21pm.
And YOU KNOW they totally said we don't need em anymore...grossness
Submitted by Hekki on June 30, 2008 - 5:26pm.
Although there are a few Beatles songs that make me teary; they'll always remind me of my daughter's birth.
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The one thing the mr. and I will always remember was watching Conan O'Brien singing one of his "lullabies" soon after we were taken to the postpartum room. It was so sweet.
All I wanted at the hospital after the baby was born was a copy of the Sopranos that I missed.
Really, I think anything you "plan" to happen during your labor goes out the window. NO ONE is in control during that shit. The train can go off the rails at any moment. Mostly I didn't hear the music, and there was a point where I told Mr. Hekki to "turn that shit off!"
Although there are a few Beatles songs that make me teary; they'll always remind me of my daughter's birth.
If you are trying to get through contractions, you do not want your man touching you, let alone have to listen to ANYTHING.
Submitted by 2Di4 on June 30, 2008 - 4:12pm.
as for me, the only noises i want to hear in the delivery room are the machine that goes "PING!"
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I was like that. I wouldn't let anyone in until I was ready...and I'm pretty sure the baby was half out when the nurse checked in because suddenly everyone went ballistic.
I was, like: Dudes. You're harshing my buzz...
(I only took the Demerol, tho)
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
Submitted by angry mom on June 30, 2008 - 5:12pm.
Well, to be fair, you have to say Tom made sure Nicole didn't get the adopted ones, he needed them for those "one big happy family" photos when he was just "dating" Katie. Nicole made sure she was "busy" "on location". Now they're properly installed in $cientoloschool, as they are no longer needed, due to the birth of the robobaby.
(William Mapother's child)
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Angry mom
love your avvie as always.
my son was born, ten days early, I went from zero to screaming in one fat minute, got to the hospital, got stuck in triage.
what the fuck are we doing here? I asked casually.
seeing if you're far along enough to admit.
look motherfucker, youre going to admit me or put me in jail, take your fucking pick.
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
Submitted by angry mom on June 30, 2008 - 5:17pm.
I don't know how one can even plan for the delivery with holistic music and crap...i guess my experience of 4am water breaking and heading off with a pair of jammy pants, holed underpants, and a snoopy sleeper for the baby in a Kroger plastic bag is not typical for normal ladies.
God I hate my ex. Sorry for the vent :D
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At least you remembered the kroger bag and the holey underwear.
http://fuzzygalore.buzznet.com
Team Troll - cause Spencer is a douche.
I don't know how one can even plan for the delivery with holistic music and crap...i guess my experience of 4am water breaking and heading off with a pair of jammy pants, holed underpants, and a snoopy sleeper for the baby in a Kroger plastic bag is not typical for normal ladies.
God I hate my ex. Sorry for the vent :D
the ONLY thing you want to hear is,
"you can stop pushing now."
that is fucking it.
she's a retard, but hey, look who she was/is married to!!!
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
When I had my wisdom teeth taken out, I was listening to AC/DC "Back in Black"
It did nothing to soothe the pain.
Can't imagine what it must feel like to have an 8 lb. bowling ball coming out of an orifice while listening to a Sonata...or Yanni. Same shit.
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"Not only would you sell your mother to make a deal, you'd send her C.O.D." - Gordon Gekko, from the movie "Wall Street"
I have a feeling that she will be mom like her golden compass character! Scary :/
I love how these morons (tom, katie homely, nichole ect.) think its perfectly normal to basically abandon the two adopted children at tommy boy's sister's house cause they both found "new" families
these people make me sick
Submitted by Kizzy on June 30, 2008 - 2:10pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 30, 2008 - 5:05pm.
Ahh, glad it's not just me, then. Good to know!!
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Coinkydink? I think not♥
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You're not a dancer. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf.
as for me, the only noises i want to hear in the delivery room are the machine that goes "PING!" and a doctor saying "all done. want a beer?"
So she has a soundtrack for when Antonia births the pillow?
Speaking of music for painful-ass dental work, I'll never forget having some serious stuff done in the 80s, under the merciful effects of novocaine and laughing gas, and The Stones' "Can't You Hear Me Knocking" coming on my Walkman. I was so spaced out, it seemed to last longer than "Stairway to Heaven" and "Free Bird" put together.
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Wilson: "When you care about someone ..."
House: "You LIE to them!"
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on June 30, 2008 - 5:05pm.
Ahh, glad it's not just me, then. Good to know!!
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
i can't look at her without thinking of the old frizzy-haired nicole from 'dead calm'. that nicole listens to cheesy 80s music. f the sonata bs. you know she's playing dexy midnight runner's greatest hit (there's only one hit, so she'll have to run her 45 record on loop mode)
Submitted by devilgirl on June 30, 2008 - 5:02pm.
Girl, you know those nurses would swear I was Regan from The Exorcist if they were playing Keith Urban music while I'm trying to push a watermelon through a garden hose! I would be speaking in tongues, and would be possessed by the spirit of Wayne Brady, because I would have to "choke a bitch".
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Stock Broker on June 30, 2008 - 4:02pm.
Nicole strikes me as the type that listens to "Air Supply" or "Bay City Rollers" when she's feeling sassy.
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*furious giggles*
ANYHOW: OMG Y'all! Music soothes the savage beast, dontcha know?
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
I actually adore the dress.
and trust, you don't GIVE A FUCK WHAT you are listening to whilst you grunt out seven or eight pounds of flesh....
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"You drive like old people fuck, slow and sloppy."
RIP George Carlin
When I'm giving birth someday, I'm playing Slayer in the delivery room
Hi bitches!!
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I say we get dangerous
Submitted by devilgirl on June 30, 2008 - 4:02pm.
LMAO!
greasy hell!
:)
Submitted by angel_i on June 30, 2008 - 2:04pm.
And why do people always want to put soothing music on when you're going through some fucked up shit?
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I prefer to put on a spoken word CD of The Exorcist.
"YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL!!!!"
Always makes me feel better.
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You're not a dancer. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf.
Perhaps the gentle lilting notes will elevate her spirit to a more enlightened plane, where she feels no pain. Me? I don't give a DAMN what kind of music is playing, I WANT DRUGS, A LOT OF THEM. You say hangnail, I say contusion, give me the morphine, and eliminate all confusion.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
And why do people always want to put soothing music on when you're going through some fucked up shit?
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He used to be such a sensitive boy. We can't imagine what happened...
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
Nothing like listening to sonatas when a rump roast is trying to climb out of your nose.
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You're not a dancer. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf.
Nicole strikes me as the type that listens to "Air Supply" or "Bay City Rollers" when she's feeling sassy.
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"Not only would you sell your mother to make a deal, you'd send her C.O.D." - Gordon Gekko, from the movie "Wall Street"
Better to listen to sonatas than the music of her greasy dirty husband. That would be my idea of hell, giving birth while Keith Urban's music is playing in the background!
It won't take many drug-free contractions before she's screaming for someone to "turn that shit off" and "give me morphine, STAT".
If she has a caesarean, I'm going to feel so cheated. I DEMAND Nic Kidman deliver by vadge!
Whatever gets her through I guess. Nothing like listening to sonatas when a person is trying to climb out of your body.
www.celebrityprayerlist.com
Another fake item planted by the fake handlers of the uber fake Kidman. I refuse to believe this chick listens to sonatas. She lives in a land of make believe! I guess having been married to Tommy Girl has that effect on a girl.