Not A Visual I Needed To Have
The image of Michael Lohan blowing his lumpy man chowder into a plastic cup is not what I needed today. Barf. You know that shit is like Campbell's chunky New England clam chowder. Double barf.
Anygross, Michael told E! News that he gave a DNA sample this morning for a paternity test. I know that it was probably done by blood or another way, but you know Michael insisted he drop his junk in a plastic cup.
Last week, Michael told the press that he had a secret daughter. He claims he effed some hobag named Kristi while he was separated from White Oprah. Years later, Kristi told Michael she had his daughter, Ashley, now age 13. Michael is now changing his tune, because he thinks something in the milk ain't clean. Why did I just say that? That made me think of Michael's chunky chowder jizz again.
Michael said, "We were together in July of '94. I think it was just before The Parent Trap came out because that's when Dina and I were separated. [Kristi] left me and went to Houston, Texas, and she met a guy she lived with there for a year." Um...The Parent Trap came out in 1998. Somebody enroll this dumb bitch in a class at Sylvan Learning Center.
Michael went on to say that Ashley was born in June 1995, so he doesn't think the timing adds up, "She had me so convinced. She had me snowballed." Snowballed?! I bet she did and I bet Michael loves eating his own chowder....OK! I'll stop. I've gone too far. No more talk about Michael's chunky chowder!
He will have the results in 10-12 weeks and said he's willing to step up if he is in fact Ashley's daddy. By "step up" he means he'll whore poor Ashley out to Hollywood, so that she can make some easy cash for him.
And Maury must be truly depressed that he didn't get to handle this shit.
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Submitted by letinstar on June 30, 2008 - 10:03pm.
It would just make the lava smell fishy.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
He looks like the tourist in "Hostel" who meets up with Jay Hernandez by accident in the dressing room and wants to know how he did it. Remember him? He was really creepy - ended up torturing the nice Japanese girl, the one whose eyeball was dangling out of her socket for the last part of the film.
@team valtrex...in this instance, i'm not so sure molten lava is strong enough...
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
ashley is in church right now praying that this creature is not her father.
people just need to start bitch slapping michael lohan every time they see him. bitch slap him and yell "stfu! act grown!"
does he even know how old lindsay is? can he tell the difference between her and ali? her and white oprah?
I saw michael lohan JR on white orpah's show. he looks a lot like his father. it was weird to see him being so nice to his brother and sister because his dad is... not. he was talking about being a father figure for his younger brother... he didn't even have to say why HE has to do it.
Submitted by letinstar on June 30, 2008 - 9:58pm.
Can we start with a douche of molten lava and take it from there?
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
@team valtrex...bleach should be able to get the job done on the cup...as for dina, one might have to head to the hardware store for some extra strength disinfectant...even still,it might not be enough...
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
What a Pimp. Living off his daughter's name. When will he crawl back under the rock he came from? Ass.
Submitted by letinstar on June 30, 2008 - 9:51pm.
Well, Dina and the cup are both inanimate objects, at least the cup can be cleaned out with a little bleach.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
@team valtrex...you have a point, but then again, what did the cup do to deserve this...;)
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
I'd much rather he dropped his load into a plastic cup than Dina. That way, only the cup suffers.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by letinstar on June 30, 2008 - 6:47pm.
dina and michael lohan should look up the word "shame" and while they're at it "dignity"...something they both lack...
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They lost "dignity" when they found "publicity" and never made to "shame".
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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dina and michael lohan should look up the word "shame" and while they're at it "dignity"...something they both lack...
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
Submitted by parissucksliterally on June 30, 2008 - 9:40pm.
Michael and Dina won't stop until Lindsay either ODs or blows her head off......
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Think of the ratings that will get!
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
Is he hittin on a high school girl there?
Whatever you do: Don't Feed The Celebs
They need to put this picture in the dictionary beside "smarmy".
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
It's almost 3am so I'm going to say good night.
I'm going to leave you with a vid I made:
Enter The Dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjP_w7-Ll88
Enjoy, sweet dreams!!
~♥~"Since I'm holding my son, I'm Not Gonna Belt In His Face!"~ Xtina to Larry King~♥~
~♥~"Oh My God! They've got little animals on their peepees, it's kinda funny ~Xtina~ ♥~
Michael and Dina won't stop until Lindsay either ODs or blows her head off......
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"You should've known from the jump, that you'll always get dumped; so dust off your Fuck Me Pumps"
-Amy Winehouse "Fuck Me Pumps"
She had me snowballed." Snowballed?!
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LOL! I love it when people do that.
ANYHOW: Whatever - this guy will use any fucking situation as a vehicle for publicity. It's just atrocious.
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
Stupid rat faced idiot. Who actually announces to the press a "secret daughter"? Was she locked up under the stairs?
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He looks like a poor man's James Caan in that pic. I bet his underarms smell like Campbells chicken noodle soup!
Thanx MK for now making it impossible for me to EVER eat Campbell's Chunky New England Clam chowder again. I really enjoyed that soup, now I will forever think of this post and see the accompanying photo of Lohan if I even try to get near a can.
The drama just never stops. STFU daddy Lohan, no one cares.
~♥~"Since I'm holding my son, I'm Not Gonna Belt In His Face!"~ Xtina to Larry King~♥~
~♥~"Oh My God! They've got little animals on their peepees, it's kinda funny ~Xtina~ ♥~