Is This A Lohan?
This is a picture of HoHan's supposed secret half-sister. InTouch has the first pictures of 13-year-old Ashley Kaufman and her mother, Kristi Kaufman. Kristi claims she did grossy grossy times with Michael Lohan and produced lil' Ashley.
Michael at first admitted it, but now he's denying it. He recently submitted his DNA for a paternity test. He said that if Ashley is his, he will accept responsibility. If she's not his, he plans to sue Kristi for defamation. Um...he should sue himself too, because he's already defamed himself plenty of times.
Michael told the NYDN last week, "I've seen pictures and, to tell the truth, there are similarities with Linds."
Hmmm....she doesn't have greasy orange skin, a cokey nose or a permanent poo stain on her upper lip. And she actually looks a normal 13-year-old and not a 35-year-old hooka! Nope, definitely not a Lohan! That being said, she'll still get her own reality show and record deal.
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Mrs K.,
Give me a name, and i'll mess a bitch up! I got awesome ninja skill!
*swoosh*
I'm over here now!
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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
Okay. Am I the only one who thinks that this kid's photo shouldn't of been released at all?
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Submitted by NYC_Lady on July 1, 2008 - 11:58am.
Why would the mother let her be in a magazine?
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The fact that she had anything to do with Michael Lohan prolly means she's a whore, so what do you expect?
She's thinkin' "Show me the money!"
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DAE:I think some of them are missing important parts of their brain.
VLL: Yeah, the brain part.
Submitted by ricki lake on July 1, 2008 - 2:50pm.
HA HA!!! what came up? was it just her regular nose?
Once i googled Heidi Fleisse and a picture of a girl with big 80's hair getting t-bagged came up.
It was awesome!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Why would the mother let her be in a magazine? She's too young to be exposed like that; especially considering it's the Lohans. I think they're just trying to make some money off of this child and ruining her life in the process.
As I said last night in the Michael Lohan thread, all they have to do is test for the chromosome that all of the Lohan children are missing. You know, the one that would have instilled them with grace, dignity, humility, and sanity.
Or they could just check her juvie record. If she's a Lohan, there WILL be one.
Mrs K♥♥♥♥♥
you were fab :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
She looks a lot like Michael and she's actually pretty cute! Linz & Ali got screwed in the looks department. Well, Lindsay is okay but that Ali... Woof!
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Cancel my subscription to the resurrection. Send my credentials to the house of detention. I got some friends inside.
Submitted by missy on July 1, 2008 - 11:49am.
clarisse - oh I wish!! it was just a bunch of bullshit, asshats and fake screen names....
boooooooooo!!
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Somebody came in here under false pretenses and tried to fuck with my girls.
Got my Irish up, I tell you.
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If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something - how can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?
Submitted by ChubbyWubby on July 2, 2008 - 3:53am.
Wash the skank off of Linds and...never mind that's impossible.
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Michael told the NYDN last week, "I've seen pictures and, to tell the truth, there are similarities with Linds."
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Uh huh. Someone needs to tell this man that his daughter is not that unique looking.
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
I surprised he didn't call Maury Povich.
This "reunion" splayed for the world, fuck this hot mess.
Michael and her (Lohan 3.0) mother deserve each other.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Wash the 20 pounds of makeup off Ali and they look like sisters to me!
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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Missy,
*rolls eyes*
Oi! Can't we all just get along!?!?!?!
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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
PS I assume this chick's mother is the on the group photo, second from the left. If so, am I the only one who sees a slight resemblance to Dina? Michael Lohan sure loves his barfly-looking, strawberry blonde, gummy LI chicks. Barf.
She does look like the dad. I'm cringing that she's already being whored out. Yes, it's a sweet, cute picture, and she looks normal, the taste of fame is intoxicating. Let the countdown begin.
Submitted by LoLo on July 2, 2008 - 3:49am.
Oh and google ''Wifey'' really really filthy LOL.
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Submitted by LoLo on July 1, 2008 - 1:47pm.
EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
I was like, "Wtf? Ali's nose?"
I did a Google image search. I am forever humbled.
Submitted by miso-horny on July 1, 2008 - 2:47pm.
love her!
*googles forever, adds it to "shit i should have already known about" list. Puts away smokes*
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
clarisse - oh I wish!! it was just a bunch of bullshit, asshats and fake screen names....
boooooooooo!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Stoney on July 1, 2008 - 11:45am.
Just the facts Ma'am, just the facts.
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If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something - how can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?
Submitted by ricki lake on July 1, 2008 - 2:46pm.
*whispers* But Ali's nose omg poor kid!
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Wow. She really looks like him. Lindsay & Ali look like Orange Oprah, but this girl actually looks a lot like Papa Lohan.
Submitted by LoLo on July 2, 2008 - 3:45am
Awww Judy Blume! She saw me through my awkward preteen years, then I graduated to ''Forever'' filthy book LOL.
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Oh please. Trowel some makeup onto this girl's face, throw in some leave-in shine conditioner and slutty clothes and you'd have Ali. She doesn't look 30 like Ali because she's not all done up "show business style." Lindsay, unfortch, really DOES look old for her age, but those are for different reasons entirely.
El B,
Yeah, spot on. This kid will be getting her first DUI before she's old enough to drive.
Missy,
Fight? Was there blood? Teeth? Boobs? What?
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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
I just want to give this little girl some cookies, a copy of Are You There God, Its Me Margret?, and a hug. She will need these things.
Poor soul.
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Jeebus that looks like his kid. Please keep him away from her.
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Why does he even need a DNA test when this kid looks EXACTLY LIKE HIM?
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It's like judging ducks before they become swans...its stupid. -HA
Dina carries the Long Island Coke Hooker gene, this child looks like Michael Lohan
poor kid. i wonder if people have been filling her head with bullshit stories. 'your going to be famous'.....blah blah blah. fuck
Its 4:20. Do you know where your weed is?
that little girl is so untainted... STAY AWAY LOHANS!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
MK is getting a colonic because of the Cheetoh-Frapps he consumes just before he writes a Britney article. It's how he channels her trashiness so that he can write an accurate piece.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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aw fuck!!!!!!!!! i was all wrapped up in the fucking fight I missed MK!!!
well shiiiit thatll learn me!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Yeah, looks like a Lohan. Thank god she doesn't have Dina for a mom tho, that's where the chipmunk mouth and oldness comes from.
Where does Michael Lohan find these woman? I see this one likes to sell pics to the rags too.
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Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route.
I'm calling for a side by side pic of Ali and this girl to show how effed up Ali looks. This is how 13 year old should look, not some washed up, coked out hooker like Ali.
She has his eyes...that's definitely his child.
_Submitted by Stock Broker on July 1, 2008 - 2:32pm.
MK getting a colonic?
Aren't you a wee bit young for that????
Compacted poo times can happen to any one at any time. Remember that people! This is why i always buckle up, stay in school, and stop drop and roll in crowded thaters while wearing safety goggles and knee pads.
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I love you, Cheetos. Mmm Cheetos, I love you so much!
Damn, she looks like him big time...except for the receding hairline, paunch, big honker, dick, jailhouse ruined anus, etc.
Why do these people always make it public, the girls gonna get ruined! Hmmmmm, lets make some money!
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Ducksnorting tastes like chicken.
MK getting a colonic?
Aren't you a wee bit young for that????
On Topic:
I'm suspicious of this. The girl isn't wearing hooker make up or heels. I thought that was the Lohan Uniform?
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"Not only would you sell your mother to make a deal, you'd send her C.O.D." - Gordon Gekko, from the movie "Wall Street"
She looks sooooo much like LiLo when she starred in "The Parent Trap" that makes me believe that DoucheDaddy is her father.
Poor child. The picture pimping has begun.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Ok, according to imdb.com, Ali's 14, and this girl's 13, but Ali looks old enough to be this girl's mother. If that isn't proof that Dina fucked her kids up big time, then I don't know what is.
BTW, that girl looks just like Michael Lohan, so I don't see the point in him comparing her to Lindsay.
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Cindy McCain...the Crypt Keeper meets Nazi Barbie
So how exactly is Daddy Lohan gong to "take responsibility" when the results come in? Does this guy even have a job? Is he getting paid to blab to the media or something? I don't understand what this guy lives on.
Submitted by Michael K on July 1, 2008 - 2:22pm.
Ok skanks. I have to go get a 2 hour colonic so I might be MIA for a little while. I'm joking about the colonic. Not really.
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Hurry up!
for the record, i did sexy times with michael lohan and popped out a kid. (i figured i'd admit it now instead of waiting 13 years)
Also...if the girl is his, great. If not - FUCKING DEFAMATION! WTF?! That suit won't go far at all. By submitting the paternity test he's basically already admitted to fucking this chick while separated from Dina. I don't see how the affair is ok if a child resulted, but somehow damaging to his reputation if didn't. Dumbass.
OMG!!! A thirteen year old Lohan girl that actually looks like a thirteen year old girl!!! Ali must be eating shit with a spoon as we type!!!
And yup. M.E. is right. She'd better keep herself away from that toxic family unless she wants to look like a 45 yo washed up stripper.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
MK, I just log on and you leave? It's my breath, isn't it. :(
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Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route.
By the way, Ashley's mom is a whore.