No, You're A Douche
For their August issue, Out Magazine talked to the guyliner-wearing, walking vagina known as Pete Wentz aka Mr. Asshole Simpson. Since it's a gay magazine, Pete talked to them about all his gay experiences including kissing other douchebags.
Pete said, "When I said that I make out with dudes, there was a slight sense of sexual rebellion in that. And I probably even made it a bigger deal than it was. Like, 'You make out with this dude and we'll make out.'" Pete first kissed a dude when he was around 16 or 17 on a dare. The last time he kissed a boy was around 7 years ago. You know Papa Joe was sitting in on that interview thinking, "He better not say shit about about our special times together!"
That quote just confirms that Pete is a first-rate mega douche. Pete went on to say that he's never gone below the belt with another dude, "It's really about the equipment. I really don't think it's an attractive quality. That's what it comes down to. I don't even like my own. Like, I really don't like it. I don't like anything about it."
Excuse me while I go have a heart attack and weep like Wino in front of an empty crackpipe.
Dick is not pretty?! Anybody that thinks dick is not pretty needs to go stick their head in a manhole (not that kind of man hole). Dick is a gorgeous thing. Good dick will make you praise Jesus in the morning. Good dick will make you punch a guppy in the face. Good dick will make you empty your checking account and sell all your belongings.
Dick is the most beautiful thing in the world. And I hate Pete Wentz for saying it isn't. I HATE HIM.
Amen. Beautiful.
What is wrong with that boy? Could someone slap him into another zip code, please?
Amen, sister! I love good dick. If I don't get a regular dose of good dick lovin...I get VERY grouchy.
Peenhole Wentz just wished he had a vagina, is all.
Trolls breeze down on this site what, like once a day?, screaming haters, haters, haters. Yeah, I guess I am a hater. I hate stupid people. And most of these douchebags are stupid as hell. They could actually DO something constructive and meaningful with their lives but they're not smart enough.
None of my les friends think dick is ugly. I'm a lesbian and I don't think a dick is ugly. We're just not interested in it. Asshole No. 2 could've said something meaningful in his interview but he didn't. Merely a ploy to be controversial, but he's not smart enough for the big topics.
Neither is Asshole No. 1, her sister or their dad. Go away, all of you.
And dementa's straight up.
hehe PUNCHING a guppy in the face.
A giant douche
Whatever you do: Don't Feed The Celebs
Every since the pictures of Pete holding his dick came out, I've liked this guy a lot. How can he say it wasn't anything but B E A U T I F U L !!
He is such a hot guy. His photos were seen at millionaire persoanals site ****** RICHLOVING.COM*****last week. It is said he is already in relationship with a young pretty girl on that site now. ☆☆☆☆☆???☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
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Get Alexyss K. Tylor on his ass! She'll teach him that dick'll make you slap someone
How can ANYone -even a dog- kiss that freakish troll? He prolly thinks dicks are ugly cause they invert with fear he'll touch them.
Submitted by dementa on July 2, 2008 - 8:37am.
You speak truth, oh wise one.
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"Jesus loves me this I know.
Cuz I refuse to hear that Montag ho."
-YesterdaysTrashQueen, 7/1/08
I cant think of anything more lovely than an erect penis. (flaccid, not so much) I agree with MK, it is the most beautiful thing in the world, so beautiful we put up with men in order to get it!
(I am certian I wasnt the first person to say that)
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http://www.dianacrabtree.blogspot.com
On a scale of Tila Tequilla to ten, he's a Tila Tequilla.
I'd also like to congratulate Pete Wentz for catalyzing a frenzy of ungrateful, upper middle class, suburban teenie boppers.
What has this moron contributed to merit all this focus he gets anyway?
Oh wait. He stands there looking all pretty to deluded fangirls while he "plays the bass" for Fall Out Boy.
bossy - saw it with me own two eyes. It wasn't as freakish as you would think, more like one really thick head with too much skin on one side. It was weird, but she seemed to like it.
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
maybe you should sign yourself in to see your physogologist (fizz-o-golly-gist) to help u with your major self esteem issues! - Kitty Zingale
What a douche. "Ooh, I kissed a guy on a dare and that makes me all sexually edgy." I kissed a dog and a hamster, and didn't have to be dared to. Does that mean I'm so sexually edgy I'm into bestiality?
And news flash Petie -- if you'd ever actually seen a woman's genitalia, you'd know that ALL genitals are incredibly ugly. That's why God made sex feel so good, because otherwise the species would die out after one generation because everybody would be staring at each other's crotches, squealing, "Ewwwww, what is that horrible thing? I'm not touching that!"
The big diff between vaginas and penises is that penis ugliness is wham, right out in the open, hanging there in all their turkey-neck unglory. Vaginas are neatly tucked out of sight so nobody can see their ugliness unless they're actively trying.
Come to think of it, that's a pretty good metaphor for men and women in general...
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on July 1, 2008 - 3:57pm.
I knew a girl in college who's bf's dick had two heads and he would whip it out all the goddamned time.
Wow, something like that would freak me out. Did YOU actually see it or was it an urban myth?
~*Head Bitch*~
American Apparel on the side has the ugliest models, like desperate Russian callgirls, I've seen prettier models in a Big Lots ad.
I'm outta here, goodnight all!
Submitted by makegoodjuice on July 1, 2008 - 11:11pm.
pete wentz: if you dont like your equipment then why take tons of pictures of it and post it onto myspace? i seem to remember this happening not long ago. can i get confirm on this? - mgj
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You're partly right on this. He didn't post 'em on myspace but he did take a bunch of cell phone pics of himself exposing his dickness (and they got intercepted. Ha.) Who the hell takes pictures of a body part they think is ugly? You can find them if you Google "pete wentz cell phone pics."
And I wonder why the media didn't bring this up when he married Ashleigh?
Submitted by Sluttsville on July 2, 2008 - 1:44am.
No, we're actually really patient.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Sluttsville on July 2, 2008 - 1:44am
Why, thank you kindly, for that, sugar! Just gave me a big ol' confidence boost. Since I have always been asked for repeat performances, without complaints, now I know I gotz skillz.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Kizzy on July 2, 2008 - 1:41am.
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My thinking is if you do something well, you'll be asked to do it again. Fuck it up really bad, they won't ask again!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on July 2, 2008 - 1:41am.
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Don't forget about making it throw up!
Submitted by Sluttsville on July 2, 2008 - 1:38am.
ROFL- I can't remember the comedian, but the bit was hilarious, and you just reminded me of it. He asks, "Ladies, what's with the vicious handjobs? Some of you are yanking on it like you're trying to pull a better-looking guy out of there, and you don't have the decency to spit on your palms, first, either, what are your stepfathers teaching you?"
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Sluttsville on July 2, 2008 - 1:38am.
If I loved it any more, it's little head would swell. Probably be some chafing involved too.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
It is night here, and I'm about to ride the penis the guy on my bed has been lovingly massaging with baby oil while I shit away time.
no no, its ok. its all good dick i think you're right MK. if it smells funny, get them to wash it off with soap and water. if its small, flex your muscles, if its big, relax them, if its ugly, put it in your mouth where you can't see it, see?
there's a solution to any forseeable dick problem me thinks. and who cares about pete wentz. really.
No TV, you're suppose to love your peen, leave the abusing to the professionals, the women.
It is morning here, and me and my peen are ready to start a new slutty day!
www.myspace.com/triston
"A lot of people like to fool you and say that you're not smart if you never went to college, but common sense rules over everything. That's what I learned from selling crack"
- Snoop
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MORE words to live by.
& @ TheBreakdown: AMEN.
Submitted by Sluttsville on July 2, 2008 - 1:23am.
Wait, I thought it was a 7-11 thread.
Fuck, I have my own penis to abuse.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Funny how we end up in the penis thread for the night?
Submitted by Sluttsville on July 2, 2008 - 1:20am.
Hey, Slutts, how you doing, Miss Thang?
Doing good.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on July 2, 2008 - 1:18am.
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Hey TV, how you doing ho!
So Sheeps gardener outbidded you?
Submitted by TheBreakdown on July 2, 2008 - 1:12am.
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From the Choir "AAAAAAAAMEN"
Submitted by Sluttsville on July 2, 2008 - 12:41am.
Hey PSL, being married is like the 7-11; there isn't as much variety; but when you need something at 3 am, it's there!
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Mine was like working at the 7-11, because there was no money in it and my security was threatened by an illegal immigrant who was able to take more abuse.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
This Wentz bitch is insane!
I love my penis and the opportunities to share it with sexy others whenever possible!
Can I get an amen!
www.myspace.com/triston
this may very well be MK's finest words written... i am married and i do so worship at my man's alter of peen...mmmmm.... peen...
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"A lot of people like to fool you and say that you're not smart if you never went to college, but common sense rules over everything. That's what I learned from selling crack"
- Snoop
I guess my only complaint about "Out" magazine is caving in and only putting either straights or ambiguously gay or closeted gays on the cover. Are they really that starving for readership? Why doesn't "Ebony" magazine have Eminem, Bill Clinton and Jessica Simpson on the cover? Probably cause they're irrelevant to Us. Us minorities, Blacks, Women, Straights or Gays, white, black, latino, Asian, etc, who have to deal with them on every other cover of all our other mags.. We really don't need to pander to the mainstream. They're not really reading "Out" anyway, who are we kidding?
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
Good dick will make you praise Jesus in the morning. Good dick will make you punch a guppy in the face. Good dick will make you empty your checking account and sell all your belongings.
Dick is the most beautiful thing in the world.
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Words to live by, but you forgot one more truth:
Dick is velvety soft delicious, the original velvet revolver.
And this faux fag is begging to be slapped with a mighty hard dick.
Good dick will make you lose your mind. I love a beautiful dick. Worship the peen. Pete's a vinegar and water douche. I bet his jizz smells like Feria and Artec hair wax.
♫ My pants are so tight, I think I'm going to cry and write a song about it, but my eyeliner will run, get my bangs and scarf wet, which will make me want to write another song... ♫
Actually, the biggest douchebags are the editors of this pathetic fag-rag. Out and their sad ilk are doing nothing more than setting gay rights back to the pre-Stonewall era with their continuing worship of celebutards who court controversy when their pockets need padding and turn on us when they are sated. So let Out-of-it shill their shaved pits-fake-tan-gay-cruise-aquisitional lifestyle b.s. knowing full well they are achieving nothing but paying for that second house at the Hamptons.
Hey PSL, being married is like the 7-11; there isn't as much variety; but when you need something at 3 am, it's there!
No lie, if I have a headache that won't go away; sex usually cures it or eases it.
Sex....a little dab will do you!
Submitted by Sluttsville on July 1, 2008 - 9:12pm.
Glory be, I just got me some tonight and my headache is gone....that's right....good dick will help cure a headache.
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Hey Slutts! I envy you....I could use a good headache cure....lol
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"He is going to get one of me but he won't let me get one. He doesn't like tattoos on women. He thinks I look pure."
- Paris Hilton
Submitted by Migraineuse on July 2, 2008 - 12:18am.
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OK, but I'll try not to make a habit of it.
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Sláinte duine a ól.
Submitted by islandgirl on July 2, 2008 - 5:13am.
Get thee to a punnery!
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"Jesus loves me this I know.
Cuz I refuse to hear that Montag ho."
-YesterdaysTrashQueen, 7/1/08
Submitted by Sluttsville on July 2, 2008 - 12:12am.
Glory be, I just got me some tonight and my headache is gone....that's right....good dick will help cure a headache.
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Sluttsville! Good dick GIVES me a headache. Something about all the blood rushing to my head?Seriously.
*makes "o face", grimaces*
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Sláinte duine a ól.
Glory be, I just got me some tonight and my headache is gone....that's right....good dick will help cure a headache.
this makes me think of the King Missile song Detachable Penis.
There is nothing wrong with twat, seeing as I have one. But I guess the pop culture media is trying to do with guy-on guy action what they did when they exploited girl-on girl action in the past few years. Even the media is coming out of the closet.
I personally have no problem with straight(?) guys going for dickly. Tit for Tat. Guys are hot too. Just not Pete Wentz. He's a little obvious. Why can't we see Johnny Knoxville and Tommy Lee together at it or something. Oh that would be really, really...Dirty...(Nonetheless Hot.)
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
i really honestly HATE this man. primarily because i play the bass too. i just look at him and shake my head. but he does play......good.......kinda
'guyliner-wearing, walking vagina known as Pete Wentz'-MK-july 1,2008