No, You're A Douche
For their August issue, Out Magazine talked to the guyliner-wearing, walking vagina known as Pete Wentz aka Mr. Asshole Simpson. Since it's a gay magazine, Pete talked to them about all his gay experiences including kissing other douchebags.
Pete said, "When I said that I make out with dudes, there was a slight sense of sexual rebellion in that. And I probably even made it a bigger deal than it was. Like, 'You make out with this dude and we'll make out.'" Pete first kissed a dude when he was around 16 or 17 on a dare. The last time he kissed a boy was around 7 years ago. You know Papa Joe was sitting in on that interview thinking, "He better not say shit about about our special times together!"
That quote just confirms that Pete is a first-rate mega douche. Pete went on to say that he's never gone below the belt with another dude, "It's really about the equipment. I really don't think it's an attractive quality. That's what it comes down to. I don't even like my own. Like, I really don't like it. I don't like anything about it."
Excuse me while I go have a heart attack and weep like Wino in front of an empty crackpipe.
Dick is not pretty?! Anybody that thinks dick is not pretty needs to go stick their head in a manhole (not that kind of man hole). Dick is a gorgeous thing. Good dick will make you praise Jesus in the morning. Good dick will make you punch a guppy in the face. Good dick will make you empty your checking account and sell all your belongings.
Dick is the most beautiful thing in the world. And I hate Pete Wentz for saying it isn't. I HATE HIM.
ShareThis
word up, MK. dick is absolutly beautiful. i love them all. twats are ugly and smelly.
Petey just wishes he had a pussy
Submitted by Migraineuse on July 1, 2008 - 8:04pm.
_______________________________________
I agree with Sylvia Plath, who compared dick to a turkey neck. Even normal ones are not beautiful. Sorry to all you men out there, but that's what you get for basing your self-esteem on a single appendage.
-----------------------------------------------
Or basting. Sorry, couldn't resist. :-)
**************************************
Sláinte duine a ól.
pete wentz: if you dont like your equipment then why take tons of pictures of it and post it onto myspace? i seem to remember this happening not long ago. can i get confirm on this? - mgj
HELL YEA I LOVE COCK LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVEIT FUCKING LOVE IT AND HE GOT A NICE SIZZE ONELCUKY BITCH ASHLEE
THIS IS MY WORLD YALL HOS JUST LIVE IN IT
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/BUNNY420
Guarantee by the time he is 40 (at the latest) he will be taking hormone pills x'ing off the days on his bulldog puppy calender for the day when his wang bone is cut off and finally becoming Patti.
He's such an asshole douchebag
Whatever you do: Don't Feed The Celebs
who cares what this douche thinks?
_____________________________________________
be honest...is my wig on straight?
Dick is nice and after that nasty picture of Britney flashing her shit, I'm gonna have to put one on the dick score card! She puts the evil eye on vajayjay!!
As for Pete he needs to shut up and eat a dick!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
hot damn, ho, here we go again.
honey, i couldn't agree more. god knows i'm adick-ted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
when a girl's an empty kettle, she should be on her mettle
and yet i'm torn apart
just because i'm presumin' that i could be *kinda* human
if i only had a heart
What a double douche he is! How respectful of him to discuss this shit a few weeks after getting married, He creeps me out.
At least he didn't say "wang bone."
Human genitalia, male or female, are odd looking. Best not to think about it. Close your eyes and think of England. Or puppies. Or Frappucino.
♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin
Amen MK, Amen!
Fucking publicity stunt. Any gay person who thinks that it is anything more than that needs to rub a few more brain cells together.
Submitted by justice on July 2, 2008 - 1:52am.
I am sure there are filthy looking turkey basters out there... but find a good one and I defy you look deep in your heart and call it ugly.
_______________________________________
I agree with Sylvia Plath, who compared dick to a turkey neck. Even normal ones are not beautiful. Sorry to all you men out there, but that's what you get for basing your self-esteem on a single appendage.
*______________________________________*
"Jesus loves me this I know.
Cuz I refuse to hear that Montag ho."
-YesterdaysTrashQueen, 7/1/08
I'm sorry but I have to agree with Pete. Dick is not a beautiful thing. I love men, but that thing is just hideous. The only good thing about dick is how it makes you feel.
MK,
Alexis Tyler would like to see you in her office.
MK, the daily ab workout was taken care of with this delivery..
"You know Papa Joe was sitting in on that interview thinking, "He better not say shit about about our special times together!"
What the fuck is this chin on about? I am straight, and I am sure there are filthy looking turkey basters out there... but find a good one and I defy you look deep in your heart and call it ugly. The beauty is in it's phenomenally simple design, the great lines and it's single-minded purpose and intent.
I am sure he must be referring to his tool after he's thrown it into Papito Joe right up to the hilt! Excuse me while I throw up!!
--thanks awfully--
This fuckface could kiss a shit-shellaced toilet bowl for all I fucking care. Someone give this turd meaningful employment as a ringpiece licker now.
My God, this douche is a bore.
Remember when he said that he purposely "over-dosed" on pills in a BestBuy parking lot, but then immediately called his friends to come pick his ass up?
He probably makes half this shit up so he has something to talk about.
"Good dick will make you praise Jesus in the morning. Good dick will make you punch a guppy in the face. Good dick will make you empty your checking account and sell all your belongings."
Or as the Lady Chablis said, good dick will make you cash all your checks.
***********************************************************
Wilson: "When you care about someone ..."
House: "You LIE to them!"
I have to say that i like the look of dick much better than va-jay-jay....now those are hideous!!
lol. What i do like about the va-jay-jay is that its hidden nicely between my legs and doesnt jut out....it cant really be injured like a dick can. OUCH!
Well..cept that one time in 5th grade when this hoochie kicked me right up between my legs with her pointy toed shoes....now that HURT!!!!!
****++++****++++****++++****++++****
Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright
Second thoughts much, Petey?!
Douche.
I'm just glad to see a picture of him where his hair isn't in that ridiculous slicked-down style.
Much as I hate to agree with such an annoying douche, he's right. Dick is not a thing of beauty.
They can be useful, but they are not attractive. The best that can be said is that some of them are less repulsive looking than others.
*______________________________________*
"I thank God I wasn't born to a life of idle douchebaggery." - Secret Original, 6/24/08
Submitted by angel_i on July 1, 2008 - 7:11pm.
------------------
I'm not quite sure what it is exactly about those sort of hands. All I know is that it can really take my breath away. When I suddenly see that someone - a teacher, a class mate or something has gorgeous hands I see them in a whole different light... it seems to be this deeply rooted, primordial sense of beauty. Is it the potency of such hands? Their mere physcial appearance? I don't understand, and I don't think I want to rip away that veil.
I know this one guy who has... PERFECT hands... mercy!
----------------------------------------------
MK is a comedic god next to stupid Perez. Why isn't MK catapulted to fame? There's so much I don't understand. Let's start a movement!
Yes MK, but it's not all good dick. Some of it is just elk peen.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2961899732100906813&q=elk+hump&...
*************
A video movie could improve your life.
Submitted by M.E. on July 1, 2008 - 4:06pm.
Penis is the most beautiful thing ever. If I had one I'd be homeless becuase I'd refuse to leave the house. I'd be spankin my wanker all day and night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welcome to our world sister. It's the age old dilemma. Stay home and rough up the suspect or go to work for a few bucks so we can taste the only thing better than choking the chicken; Some sweet, sweet Poon Tang.
the DUDE! abides...
I'd pay real money for this guy to shaddup.
***************************************************
WISH GRANTED! >:)
myspace.com/draya23
Bullshit. Every guy, be he straight or gay, thinks that his penis is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
Submitted by Countess Olenska on July 1, 2008 - 6:06pm.
****************************
Weird that you should say those things, particularly! Me too.
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on July 1, 2008 - 6:05pm.
I'm out bitches, I got a raise (to go with my promotion I got about 3 months ago!) and the BF is taking me out on the town.
Adulations, girlfriend!
Happy Canada Day! You can pretend you're bf's a firecracker in honour of the fierceness that is your neighbour - Canada! And then you can do it again in 3 days for the U.S.!
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
Viva - oh trust, not knockiin the curve. It just kinda throws you off that first time.
Submitted by Clarisse on July 1, 2008 - 6:21pm.
"Good dick will make you praise Jesus in the morning. Good dick will make you punch a guppy in the face. Good dick will make you empty your checking account and sell all your belongings."
Preach it Brother Michael, preach it!
*jumps in the isle and starts to dance*
Hallelujah!
-------------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Leave it to MK and dlisted to come up with these specs of gold :D
I think it's awesome that so many of you, and MK, find it beautiful. I've never seen one (an adult one irl) being that I am a young virgin, but one thing I do find incredibly beautiful in a man is sexy hands. You know, all veiny with lean long fingers.. *shudder*.
In a woman, clavicles. There's just something so perfectly elegant about the ones that protrude (not morbidly).
----------------------------------------------
MK is a comedic god next to stupid Perez. Why isn't MK catapulted to fame? There's so much I don't understand. Let's start a movement!
Penis is the most beautiful thing ever. If I had one I'd be homeless becuase I'd refuse to leave the house. I'd be spankin my wanker all day and night.
if he doesn't like dick then why is being interviewed for Out magazine? and why say that he's a fag? he may not like dick and you can hate him for saying it but i'm more concerned with the fact that plain and simple, he's a hypocrite. and lambs, dick can be beautiful. depends on the man and what he's doing with it. i've had bad dick too. but i won't discuss that any further. long live dick!
M.E. - don't knock that curve, now. Sometimes that shit hits the spot, ifyaknowwhatimean!
I'm out bitches, I got a raise (to go with my promotion I got about 3 months ago!) and the BF is taking me out on the town.
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
maybe you should sign yourself in to see your physogologist (fizz-o-golly-gist) to help u with your major self esteem issues! - Kitty Zingale
If he's on the cover of OUT then he's out. Unless, he really is IN and just pretending to be out, but who would want to do that unless you want to see what it feels like out. I say if it feels good out then leave it out. What?
---------------------------------------
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on July 1, 2008 - 2:57pm.
angel - I have seen some poon that is like 'oh wow it's so pretty' and some that is like 'DAAAAAYUM you give birth to a velociraptor?'
*******************************************
LMFAO! Yes, I have seen some poonannies that look like someone took a damn hatchet to it. Gross!
Crooked peens, those are the ones that get me. Why the fuck does it curve, like that?
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on July 1, 2008 - 5:57pm.
I knew a guy in high school who had vitaligo and it gave him light spots all over his peen. I used to talk big shit about that one, used to run around shouting "I've been spotted", at school. What an asshole I was.
***************************************
LOL! You funny!
You've seen some seriously interesting peen, dude.
And I know what you mean about the poon too...that would be the thing that puts me right off porn...that poontang looks busted!
And poonpeen...I'm not so into that either(;s)
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on July 1, 2008 - 3:57pm.
angel - I have seen some poon that is like 'oh wow it's so pretty' and some that is like 'DAAAAAYUM you give birth to a velociraptor?'
============
hahahahahahhahahah...thanks VLL- I just spit Vitamin Water all over the place!
**************************************************
"He is going to get one of me but he won't let me get one. He doesn't like tattoos on women. He thinks I look pure."
- Paris Hilton
angel - I have seen some poon that is like 'oh wow it's so pretty' and some that is like 'DAAAAAYUM you give birth to a velociraptor?'
Same goes for peen. I have seen the pretty and I have seen the weird. I knew a girl in college who's bf's dick had two heads and he would whip it out all the goddamned time. I knew a guy in high school who had vitaligo and it gave him light spots all over his peen. I used to talk big shit about that one, used to run around shouting "I've been spotted", at school. What an asshole I was.
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
maybe you should sign yourself in to see your physogologist (fizz-o-golly-gist) to help u with your major self esteem issues! - Kitty Zingale
The Penis Song........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3d8VXGaGA6o
be patient it starts almost a minute into the video.sorry.
============
http://fuzzygalore.buzznet.com
Team Troll - cause Spencer is a douche.
Team Haim? - am I a Haimaloonie? *hides*
Submitted by Mr. President on July 1, 2008 - 5:52pm.
You mentioning manly Canadian men reminds me of Cam Neely. He is a hero with Bruins fans. Very modest and polite but tough as nails. The exact opposite of Wentz on the manliness scale.
*********************************
O! Hmmm....is he busy tonight? Not that I'm desperate or anything. I wouldn't want you to think that I'm desperate because that's just wrong because I'm not desperate, ok!?!
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
He needs to get a fat dick in his ass and then he'll be in to it. Problem solved!
Viva - yea, not big, but definetly not small. I could work with it.
Submitted by maDalice on July 1, 2008 - 5:44pm.
I always hate it when people say penises are ugly, and vaginas are beautiful. Vaginas are gross.
***************************
Because I'm brave like that (sometimes) I'll, heartily, say: I think they're BOTH beautiful! Well, not everybody's....but you know what I mean.
♥ ThreadKilla! Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan. Lean Like a Chola
Lucy Goosey on July 1, 2008 - 6:48pm.
Help me understand: if he is saying he does not like any penis (and his own penis for that matter), then doesn't that make him a transgender? In other words, he desires to have a vagina instead?
Am I missing something?
- No, not a thing. Unless you count having douche for brains.
This homo promo crap he is pulling, it's like he wants to be outed but only if he has someone else to blame for the uncovering of a not so big secret.
And someone to protect him from Papa Joe.
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
M.E. - It's not big, but something about it on that day made my mouth water. Then again, it don't take much!
http://imghouse.us/images/affiliates.php/242/pete-wentz-nude-cellphone-3...
http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/03/pete-wentz-nude-cellphone-4...
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
maybe you should sign yourself in to see your physogologist (fizz-o-golly-gist) to help u with your major self esteem issues! - Kitty Zingale
Submitted by angel_i on July 1, 2008 - 6:44pm.
Thanks! We got firecrackers and now I'm looking for a manly man to light them for me! I figure: why not kill two birds with one stone:)
------------------
You mentioning manly Canadian men reminds me of Cam Neely. He is a hero with Bruins fans. Very modest and polite but tough as nails. The exact opposite of Wentz on the manliness scale.
**********************
"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."