Happy Birfday Tommy Girl! Now Go Buy Some Tickets To Your Beard's Bore Show!
46 years ago, mortals were punished for their many sins by receiving a gift named Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. We are still being punished, because the bitch is still here! He just won't go away. Who knew crazy came in such small packages. Anyway, Tommy Girl will probably celebrate this special day with a game of "Pin the Peen on Tommy's Ass." Instead of doing that, he should really celebrate it by buying thousands of tickets for all his alien friends to his robot wifey's Broadway debut.
Performances for Katie Holmes in "All My Sons" start in September and bitches could care less. According to the NY Post, less than $1 million worth of tickets have been sold. Brokers bought thousands of tickets, thinking the run would sell out within a few days.
Just for the sake of comparision, Nicky Kidman sold $4 million in advance sales when she starred in "The Blue Room" back in 1998. In Katie's defense, Nicky got nekkid in the play. Thankfully, Katie is keeping her robot parts to herself. I don't know about you, but red and blue loose wires do nothing for me.
"All My Sons" also stars John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest and Patrick Wilson.
As the wise Ouiser Boudreaux from Steel Magnolas once said, "I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free." I mean, this shit costs $110! $110 for Katie? NO! $110 for Suri? YES! Producers hired the wrong Cruise.
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Looks like she's posing with her grandpa.
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"Money first, orgasms second." - Michael K
Is he pregnant? LOL!
OMG! Look at they way she is patting his tummy.
Tommy is pregnant!!!
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And in the end the love you take
Is equal to the love you make
Hekki - I also am now refering to it is "birfday" and also I now tell my six year old to "go brush your teefs" every night. MK brainwashes a bitch!
***I'm only one stomach flu away from my goal weight***
A wise man once said, "BORING." Thanks Homer. These two are wet rags, soggy noodles, old mattresses....all the things I don't like but can't seem to get rid of.
I don't know about you, but red and blue loose wires do nothing for me. (said MK)
LMAO.. that's funny.. i personally get off on watching green wires dangle..
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
I blame Xenu! He's been spreading intergalactic gossip that the show is shit. Damn you Xenu!
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"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
Ouiser: "What's the matter with you M'Lynn? You got a reindeer up your butt?"
.............. Priceless.
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You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted.
"According to the NY Post, less than $1 million worth of tickets have been sold. Brokers bought thousands of tickets, thinking the run would sell out within a few days."
- Well, you can't sell tickets if no one recognizes you anymore.
wtf, are we sure that's Katie? That gottdamn haircut. What is that? FLDS Flowbee, setting 3?
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
I think Tommy is making her dress and look like complete shit, so she looks older and he doesn't look like his full 46 years.
Not only does he make her look like shit, but he's also ruined whatever little career she had before they met. Her play will bomb. She'll also probably go catatonic when The Dark Knight opens to huge numbers and Maggie Gyllenhaal gets good reviews. And she'll think, "Tommy Girl made me do Mad Money instead?"
Ouiser is my hero.
"Are you HIIIIGH???" Priceless.
Re: Tommy Girl's librarian beard- no respect for her whatsoever.
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Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!
I would want to see this just cause Lithgow and Weist are in it.
Damn. Which is the worse vitality killer: Drugs or the CO$? Katie could give Blohan a run for her money in the "busted" dept.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by Possum on July 3, 2008 - 9:28am.
Shes not even in her 30s yet and Tommy Tube Steak has her dressing like a retired librarian.
As a former librarian, I assure you, we would never dress so boring, retired or otherwise! Bah!
------- Boy is my face red !!! lol. Maybe I should go back and change it to... a closeted lesbian retired school teacher.
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You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted.
Submitted by oklahoma on July 3, 2008 - 9:25am.
Maybe Tommy will get some birthday money and can fix his bitch's hair.. Did Suri cut it w/ a knife while they slept??
I can imagine Suri lurking over them w/ a big butcher knife.. Creepy lil killer.. keeeeler!!
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ROFLMAO.....BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA....i just spit my corned beef hash on my keyboard
Shes not even in her 30s yet and Tommy Tube Steak has her dressing like a retired librarian.
As a former librarian, I assure you, we would never dress so boring, retired or otherwise! Bah!
Yea, Ouiser from Steel Magnolias was endlessly quotable. "Claree, you are a pig from hell." I say that all the tme.
Re: Satan's spawn, look at Katie. She has had the vitality sucked right out of her. That unflattering haircut is not helping. She looks like the soul-less husk she has become by selling her soul to Satan.
Happy Thursday though!
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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin
I honestly do not understand why she insist on cutting her hair with a salad bowl. It's so gauche.
While we are at it, why is she under the impression that she can perform on Broadway? It requires talent and intellectual depth, two qualities she clearly lacks.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
It wouldn't hold our attention, and were dead!
Love, Jane and Blanche Hudson
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
That's too bad for John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest and Patrick Wilson....
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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
Oh Lawd, me and my gayboy friends would quote Ouisa back and forth for DAYS. Still do.
All Hail Steel Magnolias! Queen movie for ALL TIME!
Maybe Tommy will get some birthday money and can fix his bitch's hair.. Did Suri cut it w/ a knife while they slept??
I can imagine Suri lurking over them w/ a big butcher knife.. Creepy lil killer.. keeeeler!!
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So that's what your after... A Farter?
Shes not even in her 30s yet and Tommy Tube Steak has her dressing like a retired librarian. When she finally fulfills her contract and escapes the compound she is going to go bat shit crazy. Her crazy will make Britney's pale in comparison.
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Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug.
- Mark Knopfler.
Submitted by C U Next Tuesday on July 3, 2008 - 7:20am.
Wait-wait I'm sorry: MAPOTHER?!
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Yeah. That's his "real" last name. According to the Andrew Morton flamography of TommyGirl, way back when, his ancestor was adopted by his new dad (Mapother) when his mother remarried. So, this Mapother IV business is crap he's not even entitled to by bloodline.
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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin
www.najeestyle.com
hajar
happy Birthday cruise!
www.theceelist.com
Oh, and thanks to MK and dlisted, I now use the word "birfday" instead of "birthday". Mr. Hekki does, too.
I'm terrified I will actually say it in polite company. Like my MIL's birfday party. I hope I don't slip and say "Happy Birfday, MIL!"
================== He is not a good ~~~~~~~~~. He is busy with his online dating thing, His profile was seen at dating site ““““““““““““" M o d e l m i l l i o n a i r e . c o m "”””””””””””””””yesterday. A rumor goes that he is dating a young single woman on that site.=======================
Wait-wait I'm sorry: MAPOTHER?!
■"I want to fall in love like Amy,"says Nicole."I think Ive been in love before."
Winehouse lifts her head:"No,no,if you had, youd be dead because you werent together."
-Rolling Stone
■Even Stevie Wonder could get this Blind Item correct-Stock Broker
I still get the chuckles every time I remember that magazine interview with KAtiebot, where they called her A-List actress...lmao
Mad Money anyone? lol
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I say we get dangerous
Carol Brady called. She wants her hairdo back. (Katie stole it. Get it?) Sorry, that was lame.
Happy birthday, Tom. How many spankings do you get from your $ciento "assistant" this year?
Katie's looking like she needs her batteries changed in that picture. Tommy looks like he is trying to keep his butt plug in place.
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Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug.
- Mark Knopfler.
Katie's boring robot ass in a play? At $110 a pop?
No thanks.
I rather watch Wall-E. That's a robot I like
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I say we get dangerous
No aliens to support your debut?