They Are All Trash!
Take a good look at 13-year-old Ashley Kaufmann, because this could be the last time you see her looking so innocent, normal and pure. It's only been a few days since Michael Lohan came forward claiming Ashley was his secret love child. He has since taken back his claims and is waiting for the results of a paternity test.
Ashley's mother, Kristi Kaufmann, has wasted no time in whoring out her child and she's reportedly trying to get her daughter a record deal. It looks like White Oprah has some competition in the "Greatest Mom on the Planet" contest.
A source told MSNBC's The Scoop, “Ashley has more talent than Lindsay or Ali.” Um...that isn't saying much. The corroded peanut my pooch pooped out this morning has more talent than Ali. Seriously, it does. I'm in negotiations with White Oprah about being its manager.
A family source also claims, "Ashley’s singing ability just proves that the family talent comes from Michael, not Dina Lohan.” Riddle me this, who in that family has singing ability?
Kristi Kaufmann isn't the only dumb bitch trying to make a quick buck off of a child. Michael Lohan is trying to make a deal with OK! or People for the exclusive rights to his paternity test results. Michael's asking price is only around $20,000, but nobody is interested. A Source told Page Six, "He's approaching everyone to get the highest bid because, if he is the dad, he's going to need the money for back child support." What about Maury?! Seriously, Michael is a dumb fuck for not asking Maury! Maury is the only person who is allowed to say "You ARE the father!"
And it will only be a matter of time before lil' Ashley is covered in orange grease and stumbling drunk out of cars. The Lohans kill innocence faster than Jacko does!
I seriously doubt you can get back child support if you wait til the kid is 13 before making a claim.
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A video movie could improve your life.
wanna know What? People make fun of us New Jersesians, but at the "End of the Day' Are Long Islanders any better?
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
Poor Ashley. Too bad for her that the Lohan family tree has blight. She has *no* chance.
The economy is in the crapper, people are losing their jobs and homes and can't afford to drive to work or buy milk for their children. Where does OK! magazine, E! TV, the Insider, and all the other crap media get the endless supply of cash to buy pictures of and do reality shows about bastard children of people who are only famous because they desperately want to be? I just don't get it.
I have been reading these comments for weeks, and just started to post...I thought I would try to have a somewhat positive attitude about these people...butthis stupid shit really pisses me off...Whores should no longer be allowed to be breeders male/female does not matter just STOP!!!!"I don't get mad I just get even"
Michael has hurt the little girl.He is such a bad man.I saw his profile on milllionaire personals site *******"AffluentBachelors . c o m"******* last week. It is said he is in relationship with a young beautiful woman on that site now.
omg!!! these lohan's are really starting to fuck with me... can someone please bust out the Raid?
The kid has his eyes. So sad that he's already selling his paternity test result to tabloids. Cool
SamRo an Lilo should take her away and raise her...
Her hwore mother waits 13 yrs, what was the breaking point?
His incarceration?
His being born again?
Lilo going gayelle?
Is hwore mom hoping WO will go gayelle for her?
So many questions....
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
Dear God, Firecrotch 3.0 is coming.
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"Fuck off, ya Bitch-holes." by my son. I am so proud...
Used to be that it would take a while before you realized how much nepotism was behind this or that person's success....
And upon making that statement I realize...I haven't really seen any of them Lohan's succeed at anything - unless famewhoring is actually some life goal that no one told me about when I was growing up.
♥ ThreadKilla! Cheeto-Loving Redneck. Lean Like a Chola
Submitted by loric on July 3, 2008 - 4:26pm.
Being a parent is not easy, I fully undersstand that. For heaven sake, any decent parent KNOWS that whoring out your just turned 13 year old daughter is going to fuck her up. This bitch - and the rest of the Lohan tribe, need a bullet to the head. The way this woman is trying to whore out her daughter is vile.
~♥~my little boy breathes new life into me~Xtina to Glamour~♥~
~♥~Rather than change who I am for Max, I bring the life lessons I've learned to the table~Xtina to Glamour~♥~
I hate these people! No wonder Lindsay came out so messed up (hopefully she's doing better now). These parents are the worst. They should have their tubes tied!!!!!!
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People Suck!
Submitted by Green Is Good on July 3, 2008 - 7:37am.
These people are such skanky low-lifes.
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Bringing whoredom to even lower depths.
Things that make you go Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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DAE:I think some of them are missing important parts of their brain.
VLL: Yeah, the brain part.
I happen to be a big Ashley Kaufmann fan if just for the fact she has no White Oprah blood in her, and can only steal the press/attention from the other 2 Lohans girls, driving the White O crazy since she's pushing her blood offspring who happens to be the same age. Any enemy of the White O is my friend. So what does Ashley do again?
Anonymous101,
I think it's more a matter of the type of woman that would A) have sex with Michael Lohan and B) have UNPROTECTED sex with Michael Lohan. You are pretty much scum.
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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
I hope for her sake Camel Balls is not her father, she already has enough to deal with that mother. Poor little thing. I do think she looks a little like Lindsey and Ali.
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It's like wearing a mock turtleneck. Why would anyone pretend to be wearing a turtleneck?
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on July 3, 2008 - 11:24am.
Why can't ANY OF THESE "MOMS" ACT LIKE MOMS?? Why is so fucking hard NOT to whore you child out?? I don't get it. A PARENT's job is to PROTECT your child, not whore them out to the highest bidder.
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Yes, that's a parent's job, but unfortunately too many women today should not have children-they have no idea how to be a parent. They are too busy living their dreams through their own children, or just too busy worrying about themselves to be bothered. And it is difficult to be a parent-having a child doesn't come with a handbook!
That being said, this poor child is a Lohan. Look at the eyes-they are the same shape.
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The only gossip I'm interested in is in the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra burst, 11 injured.' That kind of thing. -Johnny Depp
God be with you, dumbass.
These people make me absolutely sick. They need to be exterminated.
Gawd . . . Michael Lohan certainly made some poor choices on who to breed with :(
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Gary Busey is a poet too?? Now, that's a real man!!
Poor kid.
Hopefully, she won't have me taking my sympathy back by acting like a little slut.
Can this be considered the first Polyho celebrity family?
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Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route.
Ugh, it is his kid. They look exactly alike. I feel for that poor little girl.
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Use goodsearch instead of google. Each time you search, you can donate money to your favorite charity without having to spend any money yourself! Spread the word.
what has michael lohan ever done to make anyone think he has talent that could be passed along to his offspring? can he sing? dance? act? write? the only ability I see any evidence of is to be an ass in every conceivable fashion.
there is no telling what this poor little girl has been told. even if she does have talent this garbage will so overshadow it that it may go completely unnoticed.
Why can't ANY OF THESE "MOMS" ACT LIKE MOMS?? Why is so fucking hard NOT to whore you child out?? I don't get it. A PARENT's job is to PROTECT your child, not whore them out to the highest bidder.
~♥~my little boy breathes new life into me~Xtina to Glamour~♥~
~♥~Rather than change who I am for Max, I bring the life lessons I've learned to the table~Xtina to Glamour~♥~
When you receive the last name of Lohan, you also get a Colt 45 and an 8 ball. Welcome to the fam!
Whatever you do: Don't Feed The Celebs
Suicide watch should be ordered for this child... God knows if I found out I was a member of this clan, I would be converting my electric oven to gas.
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You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted.
I'm disgusted.
Why should he have to back child support? The mom could have come forward sooner.
And why did she pick NOW to come forward with her claim? Did her welfare money run out?
These people are such skanky low-lifes.
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WISH GRANTED! >:)
myspace.com/draya23
No words
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I say we get dangerous
Submitted by Deputy Trudy Wiegel on July 3, 2008 - 10:34am.
Pers, I love your avie! Is that the Pat O'Brien of cats?
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Yeah! My avie is always up for getting some coke, getting some hookers, and gettin' c-r-r-r-a-z-y!
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"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
There is no side to take in this instance...they ALL are idiots!! GOSH!
Please folks...spay and neuter your LOHANS!!!
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Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright
Pers, I love your avie! Is that the Pat O'Brien of cats?
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Cancel my subscription to the resurrection. Send my credentials to the house of detention. I got some friends inside.
It amazes me how fast people stop being parents to their children when the child becomes the meal ticket. Lindsay's career is already on the downhill side (like there was ever an uphill? oh yeah Herbie Fully Loaded with Shit was an Oscar winner, that was) and we won't have to deal with her much longer. Hopefully we won't have to put up with 30-year-old teenage Ali very long either. I can't take any more of this fucking family.
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?
I can handle another talentless Hohan, JUST as long as the whole lot stays out of politics. That would cause my head to explode.
Aren't there laws against this? Can't both parents be arrested for pimping out their kids? Jesus would not approve, Mr. Lohan!
wow, shit like this makes me ascared to get out of bed in the morning.
Madam.s
or drug ring, take your pick.
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"In the unlikely event of a sudden change in cabin pressure.."
ROOF FLIES OFF!
RIP George Carlin
I don't know who's team I'm on.
Michael Lohan - Fails at life.
The kid's mom - Publicity Whore.
Poor kid.
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"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
I'm not surprised at all. Infact, I was expecting this. I thought her mom would go the acting route, though.
I can't believe how much she looks like him. That has got to be his kid.
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Cancel my subscription to the resurrection. Send my credentials to the house of detention. I got some friends inside.
====================== He is not a good ~~~~~~~~~. He is busy with his online dating thing, His profile was seen at dating site ““““““““““““" M o d e l m i l l i o n a i r e . c o m "”””””””””””””””yesterday. A rumor goes that he is dating a young single woman on that site.===================
(ò.ó)
WTF is wrong with this family!
They need to seriously cleanse this bloodline!
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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
"Ashley’s singing ability just proves that the family talent comes from Michael, not Dina Lohan.” Riddle me this, who in that family has singing ability?
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Aha! You've foiled me again, RIDDLER!
It's always a really good idea, if you're a parent, to live your life according to the whims of a 13 year old girl. Hell, anybody can know what 13 year old girls think like - we should ALL live that way!
material...you know how it start
♥ ThreadKilla! Cheeto-Loving Redneck. Lean Like a Chola
God please tell me this kid has that Mels Diner Accent like her sister Flo and the Rusted But Plug!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Eyes are identical. Why wait this long to bring it up??? More child exploitation in one Lohan way or another.
Ugh. No wonder those Lohan girls turned out so trashy and lame. Whored out since birth and raised by wolves! WOLVES I tell you! And that is insulting to the natural grace and beauty of wolves!
Michael Lohan is a douchebag, but this mother whoring out her daughter to the media for a payday is worse. I'd like to think my own gender would be above that, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin
Totally read it as "Ashley has more TAINT than Lindsay or Ali..." and was like, is that possible???
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Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!
Boycott the LOHAN's
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
13 years??
I guess 'Mom' just wanted to make sure that Michael would be a good father for her little moneymaker.
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I'm sort of shy, and I'm not much of a talker, but if you poke me I'll probably rustle up a sentence or two.