Troll Needs Help

"Mary-Kate seriously needs to get to rehab, but she doesn't think she has a problem. She thinks she's young, hip and entitled to live her life as she sees fit. But it's affecting everything." That's what some inside source told Star Magazine. Why do inside sources always talk like entertainment reporters? Young and hip? Ew.

The source claims MK is one messy troll and that she's been partying all the time and binge drinking. Okay, "binge drinking" for her is probably like two sips of a beer a night. Seriously, that tiny troll totally gets drunk from just sniffing rubbing alcohol.

The source also said MK visited some holistic spa to detox, but that didn't stop her partying ways. Of course not! Detoxing is just to prepare yourself for the next round of binge drinking. Drop and reload!

Now I don't know if this messy troll needs rehab for booze problems, but she should seek help for wearing those Arthur the Aardvark sunglasses in public.

P.S. - I love the picture of Tommy Girl with Xenu handles. It gives John Travolta something to hold on to while he's riding that alien pony into the next dimension.