Dr. Quinn Is About To Feel The Wrath Of The Brangaloonies
Dr. Quinn and mother of twins, Jane Seymour, has a little advice for Saint Angelina. Ruh roh. I really wish someone would have stopped her, but now she's on her own.
Jane told OK!, "My advice to her is to put some weight on. I think she needs to keep putting on weight so she can feed those babies. I don't think she should think twice. She hasn't put on enough weight." Gulp. Do you hear that? It's the stampede heading for Jane's house.
She went on to say that she nearly kicked the bucket when she had her twins, "I had preclampsia, which is toxemia, and I had to have an emergency C-section and I almost lost my life. So my advice to her [Jolie] is to listen to your doctors and if they say bed rest and they say blood pressure cuff every hour and they say whatever medication they say, you should take it very seriously."
My advice to Jane is to immediately go into her bedroom, lock the door, put her dresser in front of it, get under the covers and stay there until further notice. If she can, she should arm herself with a full-sized poster of Jennifer Aniston and a vial of Billy Bob Thornton's blood. Brangaloonies can't get near that shit!
And Jane is right, but she should have privately sent Saint Angelina a gift certificate to Chili's instead of telling it to a magazine.
ShareThis
Linzee: That's true. Plus a lot of the weight is water and extra blood. Your body retains the water because the fetii need it, you need it to make extra blood and stuff, and your body assumes that you'll be breastfeeding (because that's what we were DESIGNED TO DO).
So unless you want to starve your fetus, you gain the weight and realize that it's only temporary and biologically necessary.
Whether you believe it's God's perfect design or millions of years of evolution, it's the body's way of ensuring the survival of the species. If some nitwit thinks they can outsmart nature, they're wrong.
Um, I never said JLo was fat when she was preggers, Lea. She also was carrying twins, and she looked fine to me.
I may have said she was a bitch, but it was probably the tabloids calling JLo fat.
And we all know how correct the tabloids are when it comes to weight issues.
It's true and fine that some women gain less weight than others when pregnant. My mom looked five months when she popped me out. I just think Angie looks super skinny- see her veins, stick arms and legs... etc.
She could stand to gain.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Submitted by Aunt Bea on July 9, 2008 - 8:41pm.
I know I am going to catch hell for saying this, but, I'll say it anyway:
The Angie Jo threads haven't been the same since LA/HA has been banned to Bogeyland. *sniff*
I agree, and she sure suckered in some constant attention givers eh? lol
She was sweet. What the fuck? She stood up for some hollyweirdos? Big fuckin' deal. Intellect seemed lacking but highly entertaining in those wacky threads.
MISHY, I will shank a bitch who denies you your shrine. xoxoxo
Is it still considered a shrine to Saint Angelina if Billy Bob's blood vial is actually a part of my shrine? I put it there specially just to honor the old, crazy, cutting, brother-kissing days. I also have some of the gold flakes that came out of Saint Angelina's ass the last time she farted.
________________________
Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
Submitted by Aunt Bea on July 9, 2008 - 7:41pm.
---
Yeah, I was going to ask about that but I didn't want to ask a question that might have already been answered or something like that. So she got banned, eh? No one why Dlisted has been a tiny bit stale.
........
Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...
Submitted by platypus on April 9, 2008 - 5:12pm.
Chuck Norris didn't excuse Steven's beauty
OH NO SHE DINT, IMA GONNA GO GET ME SOME STABBING TOOLS AT SHANKS R US AND CUT ME A BITCH, MY ANGELINA SHRINE WILL NOT BE DENIED
Submitted by Otter Pop on July 9, 2008 - 8:37pm.
Everyone acts like those two bitches are actually the only ones raising the kids. I'm sure they have an army of nannies, chefs, personal butt wipers, and professional booger pickers. Seriously, the rest of us po' folk are lucky to get grandma to babysit for a few hours so mommy and daddy can stink up the house with the sweet smell of badussy.
________________________________________________
I don't know about you, but I can't think of which comedian introduced me to that word "badussy".
Jane "Dancing w/the Stars" Seymour--STFU
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on July 9, 2008 - 8:11pm.
Jane's older daughter went to Vassar with my friend and we all hung out a couple times. She called herself the forgotten child because she wasn't one of the celebrated twins. She often refered to mom as Mommy Dearest and said she was a control freak bitch.
----------------------------------
color me not surprised
ah finally! A woman who's become even more disgustingly hypocritical than Angelina. At least the Jolie hasn't (yet) gone around ass-kissing fundamentalist Christians and yammering on about how Laura Bush is "a treasure, a TREASURE" with a big stank syrupy smug grin (circa 9/11).
Fuck this old whore. <- SCRATCH THAT, cooze would LOVE that, then blame it on the devil and temptation and that brown hot pool boy's evil latino genes.
Jane is 57 and yes that's a recent picture of her.
Jane did nearly die having her twins. She does have a lot of life experience, and to me, it just sounds like she's trying to offer some insight, considering she's carried and given birth to twins before. Nothing wrong with a little advice, is there? Seriously, it's nothing to get all worked up over. Everybody's got an opinion.
I know I am going to catch hell for saying this, but, I'll say it anyway:
The Angie Jo threads haven't been the same since LA/HA has been banned to Bogeyland. *sniff*
Didn't Jlo have toxemia? When you have money it doesn't matter how much weight you put on, they just draw diagrams on your body and suck away.
Everyone acts like those two bitches are actually the only ones raising the kids. I'm sure they have an army of nannies, chefs, personal butt wipers, and professional booger pickers. Seriously, the rest of us po' folk are lucky to get grandma to babysit for a few hours so mommy and daddy can stink up the house with the sweet smell of badussy.
Jolie's on the Zone. Brad recommended the diet because Jennifer was on it when she was with him and he was pressuring her to be thinner.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 10, 2008 - 1:27pm.
You are absolutely and utterly correct! Cookies for you :-)
hmm well, i remember when jlo was preggers with her twins everyone was saying how FAT she was!!! so which way is supposed to be??
Screw this macrobiotic shit, she should try the beef jerky and beer diet. That will put some meat on her bones.
**********************
"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
I believe, and yes I most definitely can be wrong, but fetusii will take the nourishment from the mother before the mother gets nourished. Fetusii are greedy that way. hence, skinny everything on Santa Angelina.
I know, I am not a doctor but I play one on tv...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When life hands you lemons, you have one big effing basket of lemons.
Submitted by mike on July 9, 2008 - 7:04pm.
Regardless of whether you're pregnant, as you age you should carry just a bit of weight. Being skeletally thin only works when you're in your teens/early 20s; after that it ages you big time.
__________________________________
Word!
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
I've seen plenty of skinny women stay skinny, and even have some big huge babies and THEN (BEECHEZ!) lose the weight almost immediately.
But Angie's got Big Head going on, and anyway she's way thinner than she ever used to be, nevermind for being pregnant.
♥ ThreadKilla! Madge's new Vadge and Hot Pregnant Dude 2.0
Lean Like a Chola
Angie should get a second doctor's opinion. Perhaps House could come forward with his diagnosis.
OOPS, sorry trinityadams. You already said something to that effect. Sorry.
**********************
"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
Awe JS just jeolous that when she had her twins, nobody really cared about it but herself and her family.
Talk about stating the obvious Jane. Duh!
you're not supposed to get fat when pregnant; i mean, yes you gain weight, but the weight should be on your belly, not all over the gdamn place
-------------------------------------------------
Ummm.... Have you ever truly seen a pregnant woman whose weight gain was solely confined to "just her belly"???? Yeah. That's, like, unheard of. Doesn't really work that way. Doubt you've had a kid.
And triscuit: your children are darling.
Seriously, will never wish anything bad happening to the little Golden Globes.
But! There are heroin dealers out there starving, dirty and unkempt, panhandling on the streets waiting for Santa Angelina to come back to them. They are the ones dusting off the shrines and praying for an early arrival. Well, them and the loonies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When life hands you lemons, you have one big effing basket of lemons.
Maybe she has put on more weight and that's why she's holed up in the hospital so no one will see her
She is right. Fetuses need to be nourished. That dumb twat cares too much for her image, like her super skinny arms and legs. I hope she didn't put her babies in danger. I still wonder about the beautiful but expressionless Shiloh.
Well, it's nice to get unsolicited advice, but still, if I were in Angelina's position I'd wait for advice from other has-been fictional TV doctors before making my final decision.
And also I'd make Brad fuck my brains out.
***
You are of your own climax.
She's 100% right. Angelina has been on the too-skinny size since right before her mother passed away. NOT healthy when you're about to give birth to twins plus have 18973675487 kids to take care of.
My cousin is 4 months pregant and has only gained 2 lbs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Paris Hilton is like a bowling ball: she's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter." - von3248 (1/12/08)
Submitted by lea8199 on July 10, 2008 - 12:12am.
Jane didn't say she wanted Angie to get fat (learn to read) but puting on weight is a MUST when you are pregnant.
Do yourselves a favour - open a God damn book now & again & EDUCATE yourself. Dumb fuck.
~♥~cause every moment we share together
is even better than the moment before
if every day was as good as today was
then i cant wait until tomorrow comes~Westlife~♥
Jane's older daughter went to Vassar with my friend and we all hung out a couple times. She called herself the forgotten child because she wasn't one of the celebrated twins. She often refered to mom as Mommy Dearest and said she was a control freak bitch.
Submitted by angel_i on July 9, 2008 - 7:27pm
It always make me smile the sad part is probably true
"She probably put one of her bear coats in charge. Actually, she probably popped them out, posed for her multi-million dollar pictures and then handed them over to a pack of wolves."
You know what's funny about this? Jolie's been spending her time watching Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, on the hospital television. :)
What the fuck ever. I don't even give a flying fuckola about this whore's twat toaster biscuits. Big, fucking deal. You're a tard who touts guns and ammo like yesterdays news but you're too afraid to pop out the kiddles in the "old fashioned way"...fuckin' PUSSY.
I'm glad somebody said something. But Jane is going to wake up one morning with a scrawny finger sticking out of her temple. Trust.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!
Regardless of whether you're pregnant, as you age you should carry just a bit of weight. Being skeletally thin only works when you're in your teens/early 20s; after that it ages you big time.
And this, too---
"First of all, no matter what you weigh prior to pregnancy you must gain weight. Women who are clinically overweight still need to gain at the minimum 15 pounds, and women who are underweight need to gain more than the average statement of 25-35 pounds, usually at least 10-15 pounds more depending on the severity of the weight problem. These figures are for the healthy woman carrying a single baby. Moms who are expecting multiples will need to gain more weight, although no standards have been devised for these special needs as a whole."
And you do gain it "all over your gd body"--
"The majority of the weight will be fairly evenly spread over the last two trimesters, about a pound a week, with a little more at the end. Again, if you are underweight it should be increased by about 25% (or a quarter pound per week) and if you are overweight it should be decreased by the same amount. It is also quite common to notice a cessation of weight gain, perhaps even a slight weight loss at the very end of pregnancy"
I've never had a f-ing baby, and even I know this shit! Jesus.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Joyce Penelope Wilhelmina Frankenberg's twins are 13. And yeah, she's right. If you took an olive and stuck four toothpicks in it, that's what Angie Jo looks like. She's skeletal compared to what size she should be for carrying twins.
♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin
Has anyone heard from JamesHaven about JS's advice?
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
J.S. is right. And "lea", um, you are supposed to gain weight when pregnant, and the reason is to help give proper nutrients to your baby. Plus, you're supposed to gain more weight for twins. I'm not talking about gaining 65 lbs or anything near that, but you should be gaining more than the weight of the children you're carrying. You and the babies need it.
You can choose to gain weight healthily or in excess, but you should still put on weight when you're pregnant.
End rant
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Uh oh.
----------------------
"I'm allowed to complain that my fucking butt hurts every now and then." - Lolo
If that's a recent pic of Jane Seymour, she looks damn good for her age.
Sing it loud Dr. Quinn,
Fuckn St. Jezebel and her loons
are under the impression that she is the
first woman in living history to give
birth to twins.
********************************************
"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
I can agree that Angie could stand to put on a few pounds.
*****
Off Topic: I just read that Steve & Barry's has filed for bankruptcy. It joins home furnishings chain Linen 'n Things Inc., catalog retailer Lillian Vernon Corp. and specialty retailer Sharper Image Corp. in filing for bankruptcy protection this year. What the hey?! That Lillian Vernon catalog has some of the most entertaining s*it that you will ever see in your life. Those flower seed beds that roll out like a rug and sprout in six weeks, the fake video surveillance camers, the phone with the jumbo keypad, etc... I have to run to Steve & Barry's and get another pair of $8.98 Bitten jeans. That is a bargain!
Submitted by Triscuit on July 9, 2008 - 7:35pm.
I just wanted to show you guys my prized posessions!
My kiddies♥
__________________________________________________
Awww
I just wanted to show you guys my prized posessions!
My kiddies♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
My children..Carly and Robert...
Aw. I heart Jane Seymour.
*______________________________________*
"I am not down with this backwoods skank-biscuity business." - TheBreakdown, 7/9/08
Why do all these celebrities feed the Brangelina frenzy? It would be interesting if their response to a Brangelina question was "Fuck off, this interview is about me." rather than some bullshit about how they're the best thing ever and Angelina is better than Mother Theresa or whatever.