Here We Go Again
I didn't feel the earth shake this morning, so who knows if this is true. InTouch Weekly reports that the twin messiahs have landed on earth. Sources tell them that Saint Angelina gave birth at 6pm local time in Nice, France via c-section.
Naw, she didn't have a c-section. She just sort of sighed a little, turned over, queefed and then they magically appeared with two golden halos on their heads.
A spokesbitch for the hospital said the press would be notified "within minutes" after birth and that it would be posted on the hospital's website. No official announcement has been made. A source also told InTouch that Saint Angelina would be whisked away from the hospital within 48 hours of giving birth.
All I know is that when we get official confirmation, you better immediately get on your knees and pray to Brangelina. If you don't then expect to spend your after life in HEEEEELLLL. Who am I fooling? We're all going to hell anyway. Carry on!
P.S. - Those are wax figures in the picture above. Brad sort of has Ellen Degeneres hair.
UPDATE: The hospital's spokesbitch told Extra, "It is wrong information." And there you have it. Back to boozing!
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PSL
I left you an IM!!!!
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Why must I feel like that
Why must I chase the cat
Nothin' but the dog in me
Submitted by peaches on July 12, 2008 - 7:27pm.
Submitted by Phoebe on July 12, 2008 - 9:44pm.
Phoebe the funniest part is I've never seen a republican say such nasty things when a Democrat dies of an illness, or is diagnosed with one. They all have said kind words for Tim Russert, Elizabeth Edwards, even Ted Kennedy.
^^^^^^^^^^
Ya know, I gotta admit that shit is true, and I'm a Democrat. But I can admit you're right on the mark there. And Ted Kennedy is no saint, by any stretch of the word.
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
Those was figures aren't pretty enough to be them.
Submitted by Phoebe on July 12, 2008 - 9:44pm.
Phoebe the funniest part is I've never seen a republican say such nasty things when a Democrat dies of an illness, or is diagnosed with one. They all have said kind words for Tim Russert, Elizabeth Edwards, even Ted Kennedy. Librals seem to be the ones who have no class. George Clooney made fun of Charelton Heston when he died, doesn't Heston have family? I mean Certainly one shouldn't be so cruel and dispicable only because a person is in a different political party than them. That's not what makes you a good or bad person, weather you're democrat or republican! I think it's how you treat people, and your political affiliations are not what determine that! If I thought someone was a genuinly bad person, maybe I'd make fun of their death, but not because they are a democrat or republican.
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
During last award season, a red carpet critic called that blue "menopause navy".
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
lol that is hottest Brad Pitt has ever looked. Normally he looks like a half-stoned frat douche
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"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
They were probably born six weeks ago
ugghh! Sometimes I wish they'd just stay in that hospital and not annoy us with their presence. Well, Brad can only leave if he's willing to do sexy sexy time with me! Sometimes I don't know if I want to fuck his brains out or punch him in the face.
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
@Period:
Thanks for the explanation.
*takes deep draft of voddie*
*loosens blouse*
*lies back*
Oh ESE? I am waiting for your Super Stamen!
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Mr President, I'd go into an explanation of how AnorexicFatty came about, but I do not want to wake the dead.....*looks over shoulder*
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"Been down one time, been down two times; Never going back again"
- Fleetwood Mac "Never Going Back Again"
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on July 12, 2008 - 10:34pm.
hey, hey, hey!.. i gotta a thing goin' on here.. quiet down!LOL!
ESE, we know you're locked-n-loaded. Got any more of them tasty white russian drinkies available? I'll trade ya a tasty brownie? Hey, wait-a-minute! Is that my brownie in your white russian? Ohhhhhhhhh you're sneakkkkkkkkkkky! -Almost as sneaky as that kid that stuck his chocolate bar in my peanut butter!
DDD, ESE wants to pollinate us hot fleur girls with his hairy stamen. He's made his agenda clear, that evil genius! (Hear that, ESE? I'm on to you, buddy)!
Brad and Angelina's waxy mannequins would make for the creepiest store display window EVVA.
IDML!!!!!!
OMG!
He DOES look like Daniel Craig! LOL
and LOL at Durrrrr.
Don't forget the crumpled face crying thing he does in ever movie save the Ocean's movies.
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Man the papz on Brangie-watch have gotta be tired of this shit! Worst drink for a hangover? Champagne. Headache starts before you finish the first one. And bachelorette parties? We own a party-bus company and do a TON of them. OMG what a bunch of skank hos they are 110% of the time! I've never knew so many penis shaped items existed. They always end up trying to hump my DJ's. Good times.
its the eyes--that wax brad has Daniel Craig eyes and jawline. Brad's eyes usually look hollow and dead, because he's regretting the bad choices he made just to get in Angie's panties.
Either that or he's desperately trying to think of something to say other than "durrrr".
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Tony Snow is six feet under.
And America? Torn asunder!
He lied for some cash,
And now is just ash.
And people don't like him? No wonder.
PSL, I didn't know there were anorexic fatties out there. Talk about worst of both worlds.
Been sick all week Dawnie, thanks for asking. Getting better though.
On topic: Talk about crying wolf. How many birth reports have there been?
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
@Period:
I am notoriously infertile, which had made me rather popular with my male callers, however in light of recent info concerning ESE's super sperm, I will be ordering the Pottery Barn Kids catalogue.
Thanks for the heads ups. No pun intended. Lie.
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Submitted by . on July 12, 2008 - 10:33pm.
hey, hey, hey!.. i gotta a thing goin' on here.. quiet down!LOL!
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
DawnieDD, ESE is trying to knock-up some of us dlisters with his cyber sperm powers. I'm paranoid now. *looks left to right and back again*
Angelina Jolie could probably kick my ass but after my two ribs got broken last December my bod is still not back into shape like I want it to be and it's an uphill struggle to recover from shit like that when you're an old hag like me.
Time for me to buy some guns.
@ESE:
I will be there, baby, feeding you voddie thru a straw in your final moments on dialysis. That's the kind of friend I am am goddammit. *wipes tear*
Now get over here and feel me up!
ONT: emmmm.....no.
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Submitted by JolierThanThou on July 12, 2008 - 7:23pm.
just to clarify, mike is the one who said his spirits were lifted, not me (AnorexicFatty).
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"Been down one time, been down two times; Never going back again"
- Fleetwood Mac "Never Going Back Again"
I wonder if their crotches match the real thing--Brad would be flat like a Ken doll, and Skankalina would have a venus fly trap in lieu of a vagina.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on July 12, 2008 - 10:26pm.
*hands ESE a Caucasian
back in my life and pissin' off my liver... that's why i love ya!
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
Mr. President!
Hail to the Fucking Chief!
*smooches*
How you been, baby?
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Hi Dawnie.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
@ESE:
If anyone ever asks me the true definition of love, I will tell them it is being welcomed home.
*hands ESE a Caucasian (not moi)*
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Submitted by DawnieDawnDawn on July 12, 2008 - 10:20pm.
i thought i felt a shift... the world is better now... trip-D's home!!
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
if we are toasting st angelina and her wittle mirwacles and not able to sop toasting we best not use champagne ... worst hangover ever ever. but for me... gin is worse than vodka. rum is worse than jack. red wine is worse than white wine. on the real miracle day angelina will let brad hold her purse (the one that may hold his balls).
Submitted by mike on July 12, 2008 - 6:20pm.
Submitted by anorexicfatty on July 12, 2008 - 6:19pm.
I went to look up Bobby Murcer;s death, and saw that Tony Snow died of Colon Cancer this morning- 53 fucking years old. I'm depressed.
heh, that news actually lifted MY spirits.
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You're an ass.
Hey ESE!
*tongue kisses ESE*
*gulps voddie*
*smoothes skirt*
What? Like you fuckers never rubbed up on ESE? Ptththththttt.
ONT: Were's my damned drink?
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"I don't understand this damned movie! I didn't see no Dracula. All I seen was two lesbians fisting a bear!" -Alltheprettyones
Submitted by Mr. President on July 12, 2008 - 10:16pm.
ooohh, forgot about that angle!.. HAHAHA!... my condolences!
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
Ricki&ESE, sorry for getting all preachy, there. He was my press secretary, after all.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on July 12, 2008 - 10:06pm.
politics, shmolitics... i fuck with it all equally.. not that i'm mean... i just don't care
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
Submitted by Mr. President on July 12, 2008 - 9:06pm.
True, but just because someone died doesn't mean everyone needs to pretend he was something he wasn't...like, say, a decent person.
Submitted by Phoebe on July 12, 2008 - 9:44pm.
I come here specifically for the puerility. Having said that, I DO agree with you about the Tony Snow point. Just because you disagree with someone's politics doesn't mean you should take pleasure in their death.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
Even though this is an insult, the Brad wax figure kind of looks like Daniel Craig.....except Daniel Craig is a bazillion times hotter.
Submitted by Phoebe on July 12, 2008 - 9:44pm.
pudding pop?... come on.. you know you want one
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
Phoebe, the exit's right there,
So please, get out of our hair.
From ragging on stars
And going to bars,
Dlisters just don't fucking care.
I'm a little late to the show here tonight, and I thought some of you were a little better class of people than those who would express satisfaction regarding the death of Tony Snow.
I don't care about the politics of it - a 53-year-old man dying of colon cancer is sad to me.
Have a nice evening with your puerile topic of how drunk you can get on which drinks.
Angelina's sacred vaginer
had never, ever looked finer.
She squeezed out the twins
Then held onto her shins
As Brad mounted her deep from behind her.
Honestly, who the fuck cares about these two anymore? People should leave these two twatties alone just like they "want" to be left alone. It was scandelous like 4 years ago (or something) when Brad left Jennifer for Angelina but honestly these two are BOORING and don't deserve any attention. The way they play the media/public is like a cat and mouse chase and I think it's stupid they get as much attention as they do, even if they donate so much money to charities -- there are so many people who donate money and don't whore themselves out to everyone. My parents donate money/clothes/etc and they don't have the sort of income as these two twats do, and they do it to HELP OTHERS and don't feel the need to let everyone know. I understand the argument that these 2 are public fiures who should be "using their status to help others", but seeing them help others doesn't make me more or less inclined to do so. I'm so over seeing these 2 self absorbed idiots and their children, They are actors and the only place we should be seeing them is in MOOOOOVIES like they are paid to. The end.
:)
Meh on Brangelinistas...
So, we're talkin' about booze an hangovers? The trick is: just don't stop drinking...
Oh, and repeat this mantra to your liver "you are Keith Richards' liver...imagine yourself in Keith Richards' body" Booze, rinse and repeat...
Yeah, no hangover...I've been using this method for years now and I'm in talks with Guthy-Renker to make my own infomercial starring David Hasselhoff (what? it's the best we could get on our budget and ho knows how to throw down a mean burger whilst saucin' it up...Bitch knows how that's done...)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 12, 2008 - 5:59pm.
I'm working on it. First I need to do some more research on alcohol addiction.
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Honey-moon: The first month after marriage, when there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure. (SJ)
I trust you Sheeps, I know you do your research- you don't spew bullshit......and it's 6:15! Perfectly "acceptable time" to have a drink...
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"Been down one time, been down two times; Never going back again"
- Fleetwood Mac "Never Going Back Again"
Submitted by xxyxz on July 12, 2008 - 8:57pm.
what?!.. sorry, i stopped when you said going down!LOL!
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
Sheeps,
what ever happened to your fun in the sun rehab spot called Quitters?
I was ready to start drinking again just so I could go...sigh.
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
Their wax figures look like Tom and Trina Decker on the TV show Swingtown.
ESE
If I go down I'm bringing you with me!
Mike worst hangover drink
WINE
Her babies were born weeks ago, this is all a front for more hype!
Your face!
PSL: I searched all over the Nice online news, and nothing topical. And the news posts were up to the minute.
This thread has made me terribly thirsty. *making note not to ask Madam S to bartend my bachelor party*
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Honey-moon: The first month after marriage, when there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure. (SJ)