Here We Go Again
I didn't feel the earth shake this morning, so who knows if this is true. InTouch Weekly reports that the twin messiahs have landed on earth. Sources tell them that Saint Angelina gave birth at 6pm local time in Nice, France via c-section.
Naw, she didn't have a c-section. She just sort of sighed a little, turned over, queefed and then they magically appeared with two golden halos on their heads.
A spokesbitch for the hospital said the press would be notified "within minutes" after birth and that it would be posted on the hospital's website. No official announcement has been made. A source also told InTouch that Saint Angelina would be whisked away from the hospital within 48 hours of giving birth.
All I know is that when we get official confirmation, you better immediately get on your knees and pray to Brangelina. If you don't then expect to spend your after life in HEEEEELLLL. Who am I fooling? We're all going to hell anyway. Carry on!
P.S. - Those are wax figures in the picture above. Brad sort of has Ellen Degeneres hair.
UPDATE: The hospital's spokesbitch told Extra, "It is wrong information." And there you have it. Back to boozing!
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What's a white russian?
Wait I can't light the candles in my Angelina shrine yet. Darn maybe I will really have to wait until Tuesday after all.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on July 12, 2008 - 8:16pm.
woo hoo!!.. you ain't lived till ya dunk a brownie in a white russian!
Ese, that seriously sounds delicious! You devil! Let's have a bake-sale with an open bar! WHOO HOO!
Angelina never really struck me as very bright but definitely VERY odd.
parissucks,
Vibrating feature wouldn't be bad.
Hey TV! Any chances that your magical penis shines a light through the pee hole?
because madam, THAT would be cool too!
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"Been down one time, been down two times; Never going back again"
- Fleetwood Mac "Never Going Back Again"
MK wrote: "UPDATE: The hospital's spokesbitch told Extra, "It is wrong information." And there you have it. Back to boozing!
LMAO! Sheesh. I'm still nursing a hangover. Oh what the hell! Giddy up! *chug*
Submitted by . on July 12, 2008 - 8:12pm.
woo hoo!!.. you ain't lived till ya dunk a brownie in a white russian!
OT: whaddya expect, really?
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
I am sorry...but I need to be...spanked.
http://www.myspace.com/chirispanks
Submitted by Team Valtrex on July 12, 2008 - 8:13pm.
I think she's more interested in the battery life.
Madam S??? Leather Kilts?
***screeching to a halt and dishing out a looong, slooow wolf whistle***
Whaaazunder them things anywhores...
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
Submitted by madam s. on July 12, 2008 - 8:10pm.
I know it always points due North first thing in the morning and handles most of my thinking.
***********************************************
My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by ricki lake on July 12, 2008 - 8:11pm.
I always wonder why people rush out immediately and buy the latest new gadget,
people like expensive paper weights?... meh, it's all i got
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 12, 2008 - 8:05pm.
P.S. Dlisted is so much fun when we aren't fighting!
Amen to that, Mrs K. and have a fun evening with your buds.
Speaking of buds...*hands ESE a brownie*
I think this is one of the calmest AJ threads EVER. Shit! Apocalyptical!
Mrs. K. and Migraineuse,
Check out the LEATHER kilt. That is by far the tooliest!!!
Bobby Murcer, Yankee Great died today along with Dr. Michael DeBakey, Medical Great.
Now where the hells are those Globs?!?!?!
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
I always wonder why people rush out immediately and buy the latest new gadget, when it is likely (especially from Apple) that a few months later they will slash the cost, fix the bugs, and make it bigger. They hype the release so more people buy it at full cost and they can post their record sales. Lame and transparent.
Team V.,
As you learn more of its functions, let me know if you find out if your penis has a guitar tuner and constellation recognition system. Because that would be cool.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 13, 2008 - 2:05am.
Re the utilikilts. I have never seen a guy wearing one who wasn't just a little bit self consciously hip.
_______________________________________
As far as I can see from their photo gallery, they're all a bunch of long-haired, tattooed, Slayer-listening Braveheart wannabes. They are hilarious though.
*______________________________________*
"When your balls are free, you will find inner peace." - Utilikilts
Madonna IS slightly better at manipulating the media than Angelina and she did have to come from out of nowhere. Angelina would not be where she is if she hadn't of had the huge headstart of being born to Jon Voight. And I would say they are of about equal talent. Madonna can't sing, and Angelina can't act. But they both play the press to stay relevant somehow.
I SWEAR this is on t: Today was supposed to be my day to sleep in & Ward would get the kiddo. I had a daymare that The Adulterous Pig came to talk w/ me about why he chose the homewrecking skank over Jen, my best friend. (Can't control my dreams, at least not yet!) I woke up in a cold sweat, confused, & upset. More upset now that I saw this pic & felt an affinity to Brad. I wish I were making this up, but it's the God's honest truth.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
I don't have a cell phone and I don't want to ever own one. I think of it as my sole charmingly retro personality characteristic. That, and because I don't want to be one of those annoying skanks who blab on their phone in inappropriate places.
*______________________________________*
"When your balls are free, you will find inner peace." - Utilikilts
Re the utilikilts. I have never seen a guy wearing one who wasn't just a little bit self consciously hip.
"Oh, look at me, I am cool."
Aw, shite!!!
It's 5:18, I have dinner guests coming at six and well,I guess I have to go now.
Dang.
Nite horz and slutz.
Have fun
Mush Muah Muah.
P.S. Dlisted is so much fun when we aren't fighting!
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Why must I feel like that
Why must I chase the cat
Nothin' but the dog in me
Submitted by madam s. on July 12, 2008 - 8:02pm.
I have a new phone. It both makes AND receives phone calls. I still haven't figured out all the functions of my penis, and I play around with it CONSTANTLY.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 12, 2008 - 7:00pm.
Madonna is a marketing genius. Angelina was just lucky. How hard is it to parlay beauty and daddy's connections into an acting career? She was in the biz for awhile before she became A-list. Madonna, for the most part, came from nothing, exploded overnight, and managed to stick around for over 20 years. Unfortunately. (I would also posit that Angelina is moderately more talented than Vadge.)
http://www.mafiacrime.org/r.php?id=5320
Come check out Mafia Crime!!
Submitted by . on July 12, 2008 - 7:58pm.
wait one damn second!!!... did you say brownies?!?!... my schedule just opened wide!... oh yeah, it's all about the brownies!
OT: she needs to eat a brownie... or, ya know... ANYTHING!
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
mike,
I hear you, and I'm not usually a gadget person but I'm excited to get one. Plus there are some really cool apps you can get for it like a star recognition system that will tell you what constellation you're looking at, a guitar tuner, chord charts and a bunch of other nerdy stuff that will make me happy.
mike, are you changing your avie again? That's 3 times today? Make up your mind! lol
(I'm picking on you, because you're glad TS died- wink)
**************************************************
"Been down one time, been down two times; Never going back again"
- Fleetwood Mac "Never Going Back Again"
Submitted by mike on July 12, 2008 - 4:46pm.
I'm really mystified as to HOW Angelina achieved so much notoriety.
She's a marketing genius!
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Why must I feel like that
Why must I chase the cat
Nothin' but the dog in me
She's had, what, 37 kids so far this summer? Is she Irish / Catholic?
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
I'm still on the fence about purchasing an iPhone. I dread the idea of having a cell phone contract again.
Ese, ohhhhhhhhh you nawty, nawty nawterson! Will Wednesday work instead? *wink*
Madam S., well, I'm screwed then (figuratively of course). No celeb parentage for me. -Back to baking yum-yums and licking the Crisco spoon for me. *Drags butt to oven and puts apron back on*
Brownies for everyone!
Ahhahha Mrs. K.,
That's hilarious. The joke was on them in the end because everyone was having trouble getting their phones working.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 12, 2008 - 6:52pm.
Hilarious! No wonder they didn't get the joke. Hardcore Mac fans aren't usually know for their senses of humor...or sex lives, for that matter. My friend camped out for the iPhone. Why he couldn't wait a day and spend 20 minutes as opposed to 18 hours of his time, I don't know. I guess the geek points meant that much to him.
Submitted by madam s. on July 13, 2008 - 1:52am.
I must investigate every inch of that priceless website. I have also been appreciating their hilarious marketing copy, though I can't tell if the hilarity is intentional or not.
*______________________________________*
"I am not down with this backwoods skank-biscuity business." - TheBreakdown, 7/9/08
Speaking of marketing...
So there is an Apple store at the fancy schmancy mall near my house. I was going to said mall to meet a friend at the (don't laugh) Talbot's sale, which happens to be about two stores down from said Apple store. So I see this long long long line, realize what it is (I-Phone), and ask the folks on line "Is this the line for the Talbot's sale?"
*crickets*
It went WAY over their geeky little heads.
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Why must I feel like that
Why must I chase the cat
Nothin' but the dog in me
Submitted by mike on July 12, 2008 - 7:46pm.
I'm really mystified as to HOW Angelina achieved so much notoriety.
Well, when you lack real, true talent you go for the outrageous angle instead. -As I think someone already mentioned but "Madonna" is a good example of that. Don't even get me started on "reality" shows. Oy vey. Just own a rabid crotch, a bottle of Scotch, no modesty whatsoever and you've got a reality show (or so it seems nowadays).
Do I like some of Madonna's music and watch stupid reality shows? *gulp* Well, yes. Oh shaddup!
Ashton Kutcher was photographed in a Utilikilt awhile ago. I think that pretty much says it all.
Migraineuse,
Isn't that site great?! I think the official Dlisted uniform should involve one of those, maybe with some lucite heels and a Dlisted t-shirt.
Submitted by Migraineuse on July 12, 2008 - 7:49pm.
LOL, I love the pics of the guys playing tennis and golf in their skirts, err kilts.
In completely unrelated news, I am dying laughing at the Utilikilts site.
"Like it or not, in your kilt, you are being looked to for fashion guidance. It thrills us to provide socks to facilitate your quest for continued fashion dominance."
*______________________________________*
"I am not down with this backwoods skank-biscuity business." - TheBreakdown, 7/9/08
period,
I think the best place to start is to be born to a celebrity parent.
Submitted by . on July 12, 2008 - 7:47pm.
don't worry. i'll get to you... how's 3:00 tomorrow?
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"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."
Mrs. Kravitz you're knocked up with ESE's chile TOO? Okay, ESE has some serious splainin' to do!
Oh nevermind, baby bump false alarm, I just farted. All better.
I want to be a media whore but I have no idea on how to start so if anyone has some pointers/tips I'd be most appreciative.
Are these really wax figures or 'real dolls' btw?
I'm really mystified as to HOW Angelina achieved so much notoriety. Only a decent actress when she's playing a character much like herself (histrionic and emotionally unstable), and pretty, but nothing that exceptional. I guess snagging Brad Pitt counts for some of it, but I still don't get it.
ESE,
A BJ in the hand is as good as two in the bush, IF you know what I mean.
OT: What a bunch of Breeders...
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on July 12, 2008 - 4:38pm.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 12, 2008 - 7:34pm.
you're lucky!... if Mrs. K just "blew me out of the water" i wouldn't have this whole new paternity suit thing goin' on!LOL!
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SNORT!!!!!
*falls off chair*
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Why must I feel like that
Why must I chase the cat
Nothin' but the dog in me
Submitted by angel_i on July 12, 2008 - 6:34pm.
I know what you mean, and I do agree. The media certainly shapes what we look at and what information we're given, which makes it all the more important we consciously try to seek out different kinds of information. And Angelina IS everywhere. I just think it's sad that, for every 5 people who walk past that latest "Angelina vs. Jennifer" tabloid cover at the check-out stand, one or two people will buy it and devour it the second they get home.
And Mrs. Kravitz, I heart Morgenstern too, though I don't always agree with him.
Submitted by madam s. on July 12, 2008 - 4:26pm.
Mrs. K.,
Ahhaha... WHERE do you find this stuff??
Utilikilts were born and bred in the great Northwest. They are very popular here. What's so funny is each time I see a guy wearing one I think, "Oh, look, a cross,dresser!"
-☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Why must I feel like that
Why must I chase the cat
Nothin' but the dog in me
To be completely honest, if it wasn't for my Dlisted addiction, I'm not sure that I would know anything about Angie being pregnant or in general. I don't watch television other than stuff I get on DVD so no commercials, I don't listen to regular radio, I gave up crappy magazines about five years ago so I don't look at those, and the only other stuff I Google is pretty nerdy. So I don't even know where I would see such information... maybe on the CNN home page once in a while possibly.