She Works Hard For The Money
Baby Honor should give herself an extra drool on the chin for a job well done! She worked hard for that $1.5 million from OK! Magazine! And when I say "hard for the money," I mean she probably slept and pooped the whole time.
A half-smiling MiserAlba and her "dream baby" are on this week's cover and it looks like Baby Honor is going to be spending a few hours of the day at Sunset Tan. Before MiserAlba popped she told Latina Magazine, "I'm excited for my baby to be brown. I just have to believe the dark gene is going to survive. Cash and I are like, please!" Baby Honor, it's time to hit those tanning beds!
I nearly spit out my Sanka with Cremora when I read this quote from MiserAlba about giving birth, "The labor was more like meditation. I didn't scream. It was really Zen." GimmeCash Warren said he was surprised at how quiet she was. Yeah, because she too busy gritting her teeth and quietly planning the violent deaths of everyone in the room.
They both think Baby Honor looks just like Cash. He said, "I want her to look like me, because a daughter looking like Jessica, I'd kill myself!" Can everybody please call up Cash and scream, "She looks just like MiserAlba!"
She looks like a normal baby to me. Well, a baby who is $1.5 million richer!
MiserAlba's eyes on the cover are saying to me, "UGH! I'm only doing this for the stupid ass money, so fugly ass Cash can waste more of our dumb money on his bunk ass business!"
Definition of fake. See above.
When will this baby craze be over? All of them look exactly the same, just different colors.
I will have to say though, that Tiger Wood's and Salma Hayek's babies are absolutely adorable.
Cute baby. But what does it matter if the baby is brown? I have skin like Jessica's and I wasn't even thinking about it when I was pregnant. My daughter looks just like me and is brown, my youngest son looks just like me but is white, and my middle child, well he is white and looks like his father. But I love them all!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Why the hell does it matter what the hell color she is? What a superficial skank. I have two kids -one is brown, one is white--- the last thing I was worried about was what color they would turn out to be. There are pretty brown people and there are fugly brown people. There are pretty white people and there are fugly white people. She's gross. Do something useful instead of taking up space, breathing good oxygen, and making crap movies.
'Scuse me while I go throw up for a bit....Yuck.
That baby looks like a boy...
I am now completely officially over all of these celeb baby cover stories. No wonder I don't buy those kinds of magazines any more.
Awww she's so cute! Mom looks utterly miserable. Crack a friggin smile, Eeyore.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
"The labor was more like meditation. I didn't scream. It was really Zen."
Yeah, right. You and the bitches who claimed to orgasm during delivery.
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Wilson: "When you care about someone ..."
House: "You LIE to them!"
oooh, for jessica's sake, i hope that baby [with the thick nostrils i might add] gets nice and brown .. i love jessica so much i hope the baby gets flava flav 'brown'!
Awwwwwwww baby is BEAUTIFUL! And looks a lot like Cash - I think.
Her baby's so pretty, but the name's fug and doesn't go with her face.
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass."
that is a truly beautiful baby!! Good on her and Cash.
That baby looks almost exactly like my baby. They're almost the same age, too. My baby's darker, though. HA!
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“Chicks love wang bone. Why do you think they have strap-ons and things in that nature, to simulate wang bones, which i come stocked with.”
When Justin starts talking everybody but him only hears "douch
Is it just me or did they Photoshop Alba into looking like Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester?
Looks like any other run of the mill baby to me. Boring.
How come Cash doesn't get to be on the cover, too????
Baby is adorable - she's even smiling a little bit...
Is everybody having a baby ??????????????
I say this issue sells 300 copies. That is it.
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"When I think of it, my fingers turn to fists; I never did anything to you man....no matter what I try, you beat me with your bitter lies...."
-Fiona Apple "Limp"
----Signature bitch look? Check.
My boss just walked in the room and said Jessica Alba gave birth to a "dark angel".
It was like all the air got sucked out of the room so everyone went back to playing solitaire and shopping on ebay.
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Making LOVE? God, you're so cute.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
AIM dreamhypnotique
very pretty girls
Aw man this baby is adorable!
First thought: Adorable baby, absolutely beautiful!
Second thought: MISERABLE woman...she looks sad/mad/hateful/miserable...and all before I read the post!
Coming from a member of a biracial family, I will say in my experience most biracial babies are born very light skinned. It takes a little time for them to darken up. In any case Alba's baby will most likely be light skinned.
She hasn't given birth to Flava Flav.
Pimp 'em if you got them...that's the new mantra for Celebutards with babies.
Awwww, she's a sweet little angel. Pretty baby with a hellbitch for a mother.
Im amazed how made up Jessica is. She's got her whole face spray painted by foundation. Holy cow talk about photo shop.
Jessica's baby is precious. God bless her and I hope she doesn't turn out to be a bad actress like her mother. I cannot watch Jessica in anything.
I think a dead mouse has more facial expressions than Jessica's acting performances.
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Pretty looks fade...dumb is forever -- Judge Judy
She definitely looks like Cash. And she is going to be a strict mom? Now there's a fucking surprise!
"Being A Mom Is A Miracle"
Yes it is Jess, it's a miracle, it magically made your man want to marry you even though he was ready to dump you.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
That kid looks just like its daddy (Cash). I wonder how Jess/Cash feel about the jo-pitts getting 20mil?? And Nicole telling the mags her child's pictures aren't for sale. They have to feel they gave a way their baby's pictures for cheap. Or just feel cheap for pimpin' out their only child's first pictures.
Her, getting this far is a miracle
Wow, the baby is smiling more then the mom.. Surprise.. I want to see more of her legs, Alba's legs.. And wtf is the baby cover week. oh blah blahs beautiful babies.. Suck it! Like she has to say "my plan to lose the weight" that is kind of awful. and shit-tay! No pressure, none at all!! Riiiight!
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I'm Miss World, Somebody kill me!
Kill me pills; No one cares, my friends.
I'm Miss World,Watch me break and watch me burn
No one can hear me, my friends!
Submitted by Otter Pop on July 16, 2008 - 9:59am.
For reals, as Chris Rock put it, "Even roaches have babies."
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Please, we're congratulating this woman for something a dog can do.
The baby is cute and she has a definite black nose and she will get darker..
Baby looks just like Cash.
I just don't understand why these richer than rich celebrities get millions for their baby pics. I, for one, really don't give a rat's ass what their babies look like. All babies look the same until they're a few months old. Is anyone actually genuinely excited to see any baby pics? Cause I'm not.
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Her daughter is very cute, which is saying a lot because I think babies don't start looking cute until they are at least 3-4 months old.
With that said, couldn't Miserabla have managed to look the tiniest bit happy? She's getting paid assloads of money to take a couple of pictures with her newborn daughter. Shit, I'd be doing backflips.
Just being a mother is not a "miracle". Anybody (obviou8sly) can get knocked up and pop out a kid (and no, I don't believe her "natural" birth was like meditation OR very Zen.......she is full of crap.....feeling a machete rip through your abdomen isn't "zen" last time I checked!) it takes the patience of a saint to "be a mother" and raise the little effers. Just ask the parents of a teenager!!!!! These young moms are in for a rude awakening..........actually I can't wait!
~~To achieve true happiness, find a cause bigger than yourself.....~~
~~Nothing screams "Haute Couture" like prison tattoos~~
"I'm excited for my baby to be brown. I just have to believe the dark gene is going to survive.
alba better be careful what she asks for...as the baby gets browner, there may be a surge in skin bleachers in the alba household...poor kid is doomed with idiot mother and a dumb father as parents...
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
Submitted by Miss Priss on July 16, 2008 - 9:04am.
Snoogle
Can you picture Miseralba singing a Lullaby?! lol
~~~~~~Well sure. Picture it:
Miser dressed in traditional Latina attire, singing the entire thing in Spanish while Cash(dressed as a organ grinders monkey) picks at his privates.
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You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted.
As this chick's career grew it became pretty apparent that she wasn't that bright, but as time goes on it is so obvious that she isn't just dim she's an absolute moron.
"I'm excited for my baby to be brown. I just have to believe the dark gene is going to survive. Cash and I are like, please!
Who the hell says stuff like that about their kid to a magazine?
Snoogle
Can you picture Miseralba singing a Lullaby?! lol
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Fuck it!
angel_i
Doesn't it seem though, these people get knocked up like every day. Breeding insensitive brats...these are the brats that are going to have lots of money...and ALL of them are around the same age...they are ALL going to be driving their expensive cars around town...getting drunk...ick!
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Fuck it!
Submitted by Miss Priss on July 16, 2008 - 8:52am.
Just because the baby's skin is white looking now, doesn't mean that she won't be darker. My friend's kid was born white and light hair. Now he's got darker skin and dark hair at 3 years old...it's weird.
~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile the lullaby in that house is going to be Whiter Shade of Pale.
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You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted.
Submitted by Miss Priss on July 16, 2008 - 8:52am.
Just because the baby's skin is white looking now, doesn't mean that she won't be darker. My friend's kid was born white and light hair. Now he's got darker skin and dark hair...it's weird.
Now can all these hollyweird people stop breeding!!
When's the trend going to end?
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Actually, I"m pretty sure they were always breeding. It's just that it used to be that it wasn't called "news".
Some part of me is happy because I have a special interest in public awareness around young, young kids. And another part of me is screaming at the fact that I can already see that these people won't be model parents, at least not in the way I see things. They'll make things worse.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
Submitted by Snoogle on July 16, 2008 - 8:48am.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 16, 2008 - 8:45am
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YW. Yes, the world's greatest twins just sweep all other babies right out of the headlines. MiserALBA's even more miserable, she knows she could've gotten more if her bun hadn't have been upstaged.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Daaaaamn that bebe is CUTE! I wonder what would have happened if it had been ugly... mysteriously gone missing with the nanny?
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"Fooled you, poopie." - Okie
Just because the baby's skin is white looking now, doesn't mean that she won't be darker. My friend's kid was born white and light hair. Now he's got darker skin and dark hair at 3 years old...it's weird.
Now can all these hollyweird people stop breeding!!
When's the trend going to end?
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Fuck it!
Miser Alba: Truly a legend in her own mind.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by angel_i on July 16, 2008 - 8:45am.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 16, 2008 - 8:43am
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First lesson: Tu maman es la puta! Muy feo puta!
Ya mama's a whore, a very ugly whore!!
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Kizzy on July 16, 2008 - 8:45am.
Submitted by Snoogle on July 16, 2008 - 8:44am.
Well, it's understandable, what with the Second Coming and all. Levi Alves McC
~~~~~~~~ Thank you Kizzy.
I have been blinded by the light of the coming of the cash cows, err umm I mean twins.
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You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted.