JLo Is Training For A Triathalon
There's no way JLo walks more than 50 steps a day on her own, let alone swims, runs and bike rides. Skeletor told Extra that JLo will compete in a triathalon this October. He must be running low on virgin's blood, because he's talking crazy.
Just so we're clear on what a triathalon is, here's Wiki's defintion: "A triathlon is an endurance sports event consisting of swimming, cycling and running over various distances." Yeah, JLo's not doing any of that shit.
Skeletor said, "Jennifer is training for a triathlon, in October. I'm very supportive. I'll be on my Segway (encouraging her)."
He would own a Segway. He probably does his morning job on a Segway. You know those lazy bitches totally have a moving walker that goes from their bed to the shitter.
If this shit is true then JLo should get at least a 30-minute headstart. Bitch has an extra 20 pounds sitting on her ass. It's not fair! But this shit is a bunch of lies. JLo will pay some athletic to bitch to stuff the back of their pants with 3 king size pillows and compete in the triathalon as her. She'll pull a Katie.
Thanks Info
Damn. It would be good if you posted WHICH triathlon. I do them and love them. I'll sign up and take a camera and snap shots as I accidentally kick her while swimming, crash into her bike and trip her during the run. mwahaha.
Good for her I am sure she will do just fine. Triathlons kick ass its a great way to push yourself and an excuse to get into great shape.
"I think you know that your more then just some fucked up piece of ass."
George Fuckin Michael.
It's supposedly true - I read this about her immediately after she gave birth to the Dragontales Twins.
Running to the bathroom after eating a chimichanga with x-tra beans does not qualify as a triathalon.
Somebody needs to tell JLo this.
Bitch Puleze!!!!! You know Jennifer thinks a triathalon is either
a: Shopping in three states in one day
or
b: Shopping, lunch and a lip wax
This bitch prolly uses a limo to take her from her bed to the bathroom
i don't see the big deal, usually after scient$!@## give birth they usually run a lonnng race, no worries, she'll make it in record time and wear heals at the end with no puke!
Submitted by moonmaid on July 17, 2008 - 11:02pm.
"I am actually training for a triathlon right now - just got back from the pool in fact.
The hardest part is learning to swim correctly."
There are trainers, for triatheletes, who teach proper form when swimming laps. Cupping the hands, breathing, leg kick, etc. It's all about efficient movement.
I swear, J-Lo can finish a triathalon! She's a young woman.
It's not a matter of coming in first, just finishing.
Does no one else here, exercise?
You mean a shopping triathalon or being a B*%$# triatholon right? Those are the ONLY two things she does well, and can maybe win.
Triathlon my ass... unless it is for beating nannies or shopping I won't believe that shit.
Her horse ass isn't doing any triatholon. and even if she does, she will not get back the body she used to have. give it up J-WHORE!
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Honestly, this girl needs to dig a hole and stick her head in it.
She has no intelligence, no class, no beauty, no charm NOTHING doing for her.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Rumor Willis
Leatherette - I was thinking the 'sact same thing re: the CO$.
Triathalon ? She looks like a renta-yenta on her way to mahjong evening with the girls.What's with the skeezy mink and eyeliner.... oy oy oy
bla bla. bitch needs to do something to snap out of it. she's lookin' baaaaad, bad clothes, bad hair, bad makeup. she used to have pretty good style.
Man, I WANT to see that fat ass run a race! That's some quality entertainment right there!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
I think you meant that she's training for a Try-ASS-alon.
triathalon aside this woman is gargantuanly fucking ridiculous...her excessive lifestyle (only matched by Kimora Lee Skank) annoys the shit out of me...I have never seen her in a film were she consistently didn't butcher the english language/the film itself...self entitled poser...sorry for the rant
I wonder if her ass will be a hindrance or act as a spoiler?
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"Fooled you, poopie." - Okie
With All Due Respect and joking aside:
JLo can handle a triathalon.
I'd put $$ on the woman finishing a moderate one.
I ran a marathon, and encountered a 70-year old who took up running in the past 10 years..,
Ya never know. Life surprises you.
The Segway comment is funny.
I am actually training for a triathlon right now - just got back from the pool in fact. If she's doing a sprint, and is used to working out, she could train for it in 3 months, no problem. The hardest part is learning to swim correctly.
If it's true, I give her credit. Dancers know how to work, even if all the diva behavior is true. You can't be a diva on a triathlon course.
Plus, once you have a kid, training for a triathlon is like heaven, because no one NEEDS you for the time you are training. It's kind of an escape, sick as that sounds. I have 3 kids, lol.
Of course she COULD do it, I just don't believe she will....
a Segway...what a douche!
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“It’s the number one selling clothing line so it’s going well."
- Heidi Montag
Amy Winehouse just completed a triathlon today as well. First she ate a popsicle, then she punched a photog and finished up by smoking a crack pipe.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
It's Skeletor in drag!
JHo really needs to wax her 'stache!
I think the JHo craze is over, everyone realizes
she has no talent other than marketing ie: whoreing herself to the world.
We're finally sick of her!
Why am I thinking Celebrity Triathalons...is Celebrity Circus over?
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She took one and a half year of hiatus and now she's jumping right at it with straight feet. Triathlon ain't no walk through flowery garden. She's got to be kidding herself if she thinks she can do it.
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Japanese Girls - Pictures of Cute Petite Models from Japan
jlo exerting any type of physical activity...my ass...i mean jlo's ass...
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
Just total bullshit. Does it count if she has the help run it for her?
Who the hell does she think she's kidding??!!
The Cookie
http://lifeisacookie.wordpress.com
So they settled the suit then?
J-Ho 'running' a marathon -- my side hurts from the hee hee
http://lifeisacookie.wordpress.com/2008/06/30/lookin-for-a-personal-payd...
Submitted by Team Valtrex on July 17, 2008 - 9:41pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on July 17, 2008 - 9:39pm.
JLo doesn't shit, she has an assistant that does it for her.
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She makes that same assistant wipe her ass too - and she doesn't pay extra.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
Submitted by Manimal5 on July 17, 2008 - 9:39pm.
JLo doesn't shit, she has an assistant that does it for her.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Is taking a shit, shower and a shave considered a triathalon?
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Actually I don't blame Skeletor fo having a Segway.
I always wanted a motorized lounge chair to carry my lazy ass around the house.
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I just want to punch both of these idiots in the face but they are so ugly it wouldn't make much of a difference so I won't waste my energy (or my knuckles).
Her idea of a Triathlon is to bitch slap a personal assistant, a parking attendant, and a waitress in the same outing. Her only competition is Naomi Campbell.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
These two have so totally jumped the shark.
I thought she hopped unto her Mexican maid and had her walk or run or jog FOR her. J-Lo doing this with her ass all jiggling down the street is an atrocious image that I now have to try to erase with lots and lots of booze! Or even better, with YOGA!
Your face!
If she even runs half a block after her ass stunt double's done the whole damned thing, I feel for the poor fools running behind that flatulence.
I have no doubt that Jennifer Lopez will compete in a triathlon.
Of course, her idea is running from the Chanel Boutique, then to Hermes and ending with a mad dash towards the finish line where the Versace store will stay open late waiting her arrival.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
He's forcing her to do it, to lose weight but she's going to have an ass and legs like King Kong by the end of training. Dayanara was so trim and lovely, that he want Jlo not to be old fat ass, who is not so pretty with the big bum. This is how Katie lost the weight. It's all Tommy Girls idea.
I wonder if they is barley milk going on in the Skeletor home.
Submitted by WTF on July 17, 2008 - 8:24pm.
Will her triathalon be like Kat(i)e Holmes' marathon. That is, faked?
yep if they don't proove it with a videotape, an unedited one, than we won't believe it!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Will her triathalon be like Kat(i)e Holmes' marathon. That is, faked?
Have to agree with Sheeps. As much as I despise this beyotch, I think she would work hard to accomplish it. She's all posh and shit, but I think she still has a work ethic. Like Madge or Martha Stewart. Bitches are ambitious.
Me? I'd be sitting on my ass, watching. Kinda like I already do.
What Xtina is to her hideous lipstick, Jello is to her hideous eye make up, but both are drag queenilicious...
Wait, I think the first part of my post could be turned into an SAT/GRE analogy question...I will reformulate and submit...Countless gay candidates seeking higher edumacation will spank me for this!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
There's varying distances with triatholons. From wikipedia:
"The ITU accepts a 5% margin of error in the cycle and run course distances.[1]
Name Swim Bicycle Run Notes
Kids of Steel 100 - 750 m
5-15 km
1-5 km
Distances vary with age of athlete. See: Ironkids
Novice (Australia) 300 m 8 km 2 km Distances vary, but this is a standard Novice distance course in Australia.
Super Sprint 400 m
(0.25 mi) 10 km
(6.2 mi) 2.5 km
(1.5 mi) Distances vary, but this is a standard Super Sprint course.
Sprint 750 m
(0.5 mi) 20 km
(12.4 mi) 5 km
(3.1 mi) A 500 m swim is also common. The Sprint Distance is the fastest growing triathlon race distance in the United States
Olympic 1.5 km
(0.93 mi) 40 km
(24.8 mi) 10 km
(6.2 mi) Also known as "international distance", "standard course", or "short course".
ITU-Long Distance 3.0 km
(1.86 mi) 80 km
(49.6 mi) 20 km
(12.4 mi) Shortened in 2006
Half 1.9 km
(1.2 mi) 90 km
(56 mi) 21.09 km
(13.1 mi) Also called "medium distance" or 70.3.
Triathlon one 0 one 3.0 km
(1.86 mi) 130 km
(80.6 mi) 30 km
(18.6 mi) Made debut in 2007 and ended in 2007
Full 3.8 km
(2.4 mi) 180 km
(112 mi) 42.2 km
(26.2 mi) marathon Also known as "long distance" or "Ironman Triathlon".[2]
Though there can be some variation in race distances, particularly among short triathlons, most triathlons conform to one of those above standards."
I did a standard course, with minimal training needed, as I do those activities, anyway.
J-Lo could be doing a "kiddie" version. Of course, her in-shape bodyguards may be tempted to leave her behind. Or her "behind".
its gonna be more like... she will pay some 3 bitches to carry bitches ass over the see, to ride for her on a cycle, and to carry bitch on a thron... simple as that lol
Oh, please. A Jlo's triathlon consist of sitting in her chauffeur Bentley WATCHING the participants swim, cycle and run.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
JLo's Triathalon: shopping, primping, posing.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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I call shenanigans...this fat bitch is not going to break a sweat. On the other hand, Skeletor on a Segway is comedy.
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
as much as I don't like celebrities being media whores, this I'm going to have to see to believe!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Oh yeah this is gonna happen, right.
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Has anyone seen my hamster ?
Look, I pretty much hate J-Lo, but she was a fit dancer about 30 years ago.... She could do it if she set herself to it.
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Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.