The Twin Messiahs Are Out
Put down that fucking chocolate croissant and pay attention. Saint Angelina and the twin messiahs have been released from their hospital chambers in France to embark on their world tour. The pope has cancelled all of his travel plans and has given Saint Angelina and the chosen ones use of his pope mobile. Seriously, Angie Jo left the hospital this morning after giving birth a week ago. She needed the week to get lipo, a tummy tuck and a titty lift recover.
Angie Jo, Hard Knox and Vivi managed to beat the paparazzi rush and slipped out around 4 a.m. They joined the rest of the Brangelina holy family at Chateau Miraval. Paps were stationed on roof tops near the hospital, thinking that Angie would fly away in a helicopter.
One witness told People, "This group of people got into the van, very quickly. . . . It was all done in a hurry. And they were very quick organizing themselves inside. Very rapid. And then 'Pouf!' they were gone" DUH! That's how saints do it. They disappeared in a cloud of holy smoke and all that was left was a feather from Hard Knox's angel wings.
You know, I was really hoping some slick pap would get a clear picture of the chosen ones. That would have totally effed up their multi-million dollar picture deal. Quick! Somebody text Maddox and offer him a Hoveround in exchange for poloraids of the golden twins. That shit would make a kick ass default picture for my Facebook profile.
Image: Gallery of the Absurd - Source
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Submitted by Justina on July 19, 2008 - 4:38pm.
Wow, Herb Ritts is a genius, then, cuz that's a very cool pic. Thanks.
Sheeps - Jane Austen. Cool. It looked familiar that's why I asked.
who USED to be in my avie? If you mean the dark haired chick/purple top/hair blowing in wind, that was a Herb Ritts photograph of Madonna circa 1989 "Like A Prayer." I've had a few but I think that was my longest running avie
I love the face on poor little Pax - you know he's thinking "who are these people - where my mommy gone?"
Two B-grade movie hacks with a bunch of kids. Nothing more.
But did you notice she has Maggie G lips???
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 19, 2008 - 4:11pm.
But without the "Virgin Mary Tilt"
And so much the worse for it.
Yes, Joe, she was no raving beauty. But wouldn't you kill to have met her? UNLIKE Angelina...
that picture is awesome. im so putting it over my dining room table.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 19, 2008 - 7:10pm.
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You know hockey players are SO hot, until they take out their mouth guard and grin at you...and you're staring at the black hole of calcutta..
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Submitted by Sheeps on July 19, 2008 - 7:09pm.
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Umm not sure Sheeps..I've seen at least 2 different portraits of her...My books are all downstairs. I just know that the ones I've seen she's pretty..umm.. homely.. (Sorry Jane!!! I love you all the same!)
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Sheeps,
But without the "Virgin Mary Tilt"
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
joe, YES. Your fellow Canuck Jason Priestley, was kind enough to treat me to a front row show to that.....on a porch. Nice...he said all hockey players do it.....any hockey players out there to confirm?
(too bad this isn't on the Shannen thread, there was my tie in to be sort of on topic)
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“Maybe I was mean, but I really don't think so; you asked for the truth and I told you..."
-Sinead O'Connor "The Emperor's New Clothes"
Joe: You mean that same one they use on the frontispiece of all her novels?
ONT: Far more saintly than AJ.
Submitted by christine the hoff on July 19, 2008 - 7:01pm.
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Christine..their *black* taxes?? Whatchu talkin' bout girl?
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Submitted by Sheeps on July 19, 2008 - 7:04pm
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Only animal products.
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 19, 2008 - 7:03pm
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Oh. My. God. Is that as gross as it sounds, hahahaha
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Submitted by Sheeps on July 19, 2008 - 6:58pm.
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Apparently her relatives insist it was her..but other *experts* aren't so sure. The minimum bid was
$US400,000 and $US800,000 but Christie's said they didn't get that..but as you said Sheeps, no doubt it was a boatload of cash. This portrait is way more flattering than others.
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Submitted by joe shmoe on July 19, 2008 - 4:00pm.
Well you see there's the problem that I don't eat meat.
Talk to PSL--she can help.
joe, I'd wind up going over there suggesting a SnotRocket contest, because those turn me on even more!
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“Maybe I was mean, but I really don't think so; you asked for the truth and I told you..."
-Sinead O'Connor "The Emperor's New Clothes"
Joe
let me know if they get behind in their black taxes, I'll give them witch eye.
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"I don't like your grandma Cartmen, she smells like vitamins and pee."
Submitted by Sheeps on July 19, 2008 - 6:59pm.
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Well you see there's the problem that I don't eat meat..I guess I could hurl tofu cubes...
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 19, 2008 - 6:55pm
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The ironic thing is: these are all very good looking men in their late 20's, early 30's..but the neverending belching has drained the hotness right out of them. But PSL you could come over and try to make them see the error of their ways.. (tee hee)
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Joe: Or try the Ozzy-pot-roast-over-the-fence hurl.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on July 19, 2008 - 5:35pm.
I know what you mean, I have an "ex-friend" who I pretend to be friends with who is...not bi but just lesbian, but she hasn't accept it. so she likes making everyone else miserable and she pretends to have all this drama in her life where there is none. Kind of like your neighbor, and hates all me. She decided on her own that me and my bf have a destructive relationship and was about to call my parents and break us up when I never talk about my bf with her. Fucking lunatic.
But its just all that confusion with themselves that make them get it out with things not related to them like angelina and brad.
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
Submitted by Justina on July 19, 2008 - 3:54pm.
I'll tell you if you tell me who USED to be in your avie, k? It's the only known painting of someone who might be Jane Austen, but they're not really sure. It was auctioned a few years ago for a crapload of money (in fact, I think that was the final bid).
Submitted by Sheeps on July 19, 2008 - 6:53pm.
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Heehee thank you Sheeps I'll take that under consideration.
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
belching contests....wow. When I meet a man who can burp the alphabet, I can barely keep my clothes on....so sexay!
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“Maybe I was mean, but I really don't think so; you asked for the truth and I told you..."
-Sinead O'Connor "The Emperor's New Clothes"
Sheeps - what painting is that in your avie?
Submitted by christine the hoff on July 19, 2008 - 6:50pm.
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Why yes it does CTH..You wouldn't consider coming over to do a few boot moves on them would you?
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Submitted by joe shmoe on July 19, 2008 - 3:48pm.
That's why Peavey makes an amp that goes to 11.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 19, 2008 - 6:50pm.
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HAHAHAHAHA! Never thought of it quite that way, but you're right! ALthough this is the Canadian branch of that noble lineage. *snicker*
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Joe, how come it wasn't in the tabloids that the Spears clan moved next door to you?
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“Maybe I was mean, but I really don't think so; you asked for the truth and I told you..."
-Sinead O'Connor "The Emperor's New Clothes"
joe that has to suck ass..
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"I don't like your grandma Cartmen, she smells like vitamins and pee."
Submitted by christine the hoff on July 19, 2008 - 6:29pm.
Re:
crazy ass neighbors
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Ahh yes..the perennial pests..neighbours..we have new neighbours who barbeque at 1 am (no joke), the guy pees in our yard when we're not around (other nice neighbour on other side reported this)and they sit in their screened gazebo, right besides ours and have belching contests, while yelling loud curse words and congratulating each other. It's like having freakin' Roseanne next door. But not nearly as funny.
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If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons
Diamond
aren't people fun?
this cop was like, I have a report that you coughed
and I'm like, oh?
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"I don't like your grandma Cartmen, she smells like vitamins and pee."
Submitted by christine the hoff on July 19, 2008 - 3:29pm.
Re:
crazy ass neighbors.
true story, the asshole next door called the cops on my cause he heard me coughing and thought I was making fun of him..
loser.
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OMFG & RFLMAO!!!!!
that's priceless.
A couple years ago a neighbor called the police on my a$$ cuz she decided to make a false report that I broke into her apartment while she was at the store.
What really happened was that our bathrooms were next to each other and me and my husband were talking (he was getting ready for work at 6am on a Saturday). She whines, "...could you guys stop fighting" - FROM HER BATHROOM. We weren't fighting, we were just talking loud - i was in the bathroom he was in the living room. She was a college student and I said, "STFU you useless piece of sh*t. When you have a real life and real job sometimes you have to go to work at the crack of dawn on a saturday!!" 2pm that day a HUGE policeman questioned me about a break-in at her apt. I looked like amy wino doing her crack cleaning cuz I was cleaning my carpet." He pretty much figured out the neighbor was a loon. I asked him to PLEASE come in and have a look around to see if any of her stuff was in my apt. UGH! it went on for weeks, we filed a restraining order on her and made her come to court, which she did not.
ya, Paquita! the thing is he's pretty laid back so the thing didn't affect him as much as it did me. He laughed when I called her a femi-nazi. Later he said he thinks she's bi. I asked him if she told him that and he said no, he just thought of it himself. After he said it, I think I agree. I think she's massively sexually confused, let alone confused in general. She's going through a wicked divorce so all men are evil to her. My fear right now is that she's going to come over and say "We need to talk" and I'll be like, hell no beesh get off my property before i call the poleece." She's gonna wanna make amends before her kid gets back from back east summer vacation. I'm gonna have to say, "NO. You tell your son what happened and that you are a bitch and that's why we're no longer friends." Kid loses - he's adorable.
But its not so much about the Angie fight as its just another blow-up in a string of blow-ups. She's too much of a wild card.
Ok, back to the housework.
Re:
crazy ass neighbors.
true story, the asshole next door called the cops on my cause he heard me coughing and thought I was making fun of him..
loser.
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"I don't like your grandma Cartmen, she smells like vitamins and pee."
Submitted by Euphoria on July 19, 2008 - 2:56pm.
OMG, my blood pressure just about shot out of the top of my head,
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yes, it was that bad. my blood pressure shoots up when I re-read that or think about it. good news, though, i was at the doc's on thursday and my blood pressure was good - 110/60
oh. and the WHOLE restaurant heard the throw-down. i'm surprised we didn't get thrown out. i even think people stopped putting food into their mouths for the duration. lol
Submitted by DiamondDawg on July 19, 2008 - 4:35pm.
OMG!! I fear for your life now! Don't let your husband near her, she might feel all Angelina and try to steal him from you. Not that he will fall but protect him from the crazy.
Freaking weirdo of a neighbor you have.
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
That's a drag queen on MK's facebook profile, right???
Submitted by christine the hoff on July 19, 2008 - 5:53pm.
I agree, my puter's in the living/dining room combo I got going on.
Good mama, CTHoff! I don't know if anyone else caught that creepy Oprah show the other day about online predators but it sent chills down my spine.
Doesn't it JUST FIGURE that a wonderful means of communication and INFORMATION can be turned into a skanky slum by a few sleaze-balls? Whatever, fuckers.
Call me tarded but I truly *am* curious to see the Pitt twins. ;p
Submitted by DiamondDawg on July 19, 2008 - 5:35pm.
For Mike ~ a real life encounter with a Brangeloonie last Sunday:
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Submitted by DiamondDawg on July 13, 2008 - 7:10pm.
GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!
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OMG, my blood pressure just about shot out of the top of my head, I had an anxiety attack and damn near went into a seizure just reading about that encounter (and I'm a pretty laid-back person)...and I wasn't even there. I guess it was Brangeloonie encounter by proxy I just experienced. AHAHAHAHAHA! (I wouldn't let any pets or children outdoors without supervision because she sounds like someone who would give them an arsenic-flavored treat!)
Yeah, Justina, it's either the crazy-eyes Revolta is sporting, the freakish hairline, the manboobs (moobs) or all of the above! ☺
period
I agree, my puter's in the living/dining room combo I got going on.
I put pbs kids, nick, nogging, etc in my favorites files so my son just can go straight there without popup and whatnot.
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"I don't like your grandma Cartmen, she smells like vitamins and pee."
Truth. I've met all kinds of crazies on the net. I learned all about some freaky, fetish sub-cultures because of being a dumbass and 'opening myself' up on the internet by having a website at one time. -NOT a fun way to learn an ugly lesson.
I really worry about children on the net nowadays because thinking back I know *I* sure as hell was emotionally vulnerable and could have potentially succumbed to some jackass trying to seduce me.
If you want your kid to be allowed on the net I highly suggest keeping your main computer in your 'family' room or even the kitchen but somewhere you can monitor and observe the activity.
Euphoria - it scares me too!
Justina, your avie of Revolta is scaring me! ☺
Damn.
don't ever fuck with a brangaloonie in real life.
keep it on the net.
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"I don't like your grandma Cartmen, she smells like vitamins and pee."
i gotta get back to my laundry. see you smores a little later...
So what if she was juggling three men to fulfill her needs.
Angie, do you need another one now?!
'Heaux Confessionals'
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