The Twin Messiahs Are Out
Put down that fucking chocolate croissant and pay attention. Saint Angelina and the twin messiahs have been released from their hospital chambers in France to embark on their world tour. The pope has cancelled all of his travel plans and has given Saint Angelina and the chosen ones use of his pope mobile. Seriously, Angie Jo left the hospital this morning after giving birth a week ago. She needed the week to get lipo, a tummy tuck and a titty lift recover.
Angie Jo, Hard Knox and Vivi managed to beat the paparazzi rush and slipped out around 4 a.m. They joined the rest of the Brangelina holy family at Chateau Miraval. Paps were stationed on roof tops near the hospital, thinking that Angie would fly away in a helicopter.
One witness told People, "This group of people got into the van, very quickly. . . . It was all done in a hurry. And they were very quick organizing themselves inside. Very rapid. And then 'Pouf!' they were gone" DUH! That's how saints do it. They disappeared in a cloud of holy smoke and all that was left was a feather from Hard Knox's angel wings.
You know, I was really hoping some slick pap would get a clear picture of the chosen ones. That would have totally effed up their multi-million dollar picture deal. Quick! Somebody text Maddox and offer him a Hoveround in exchange for poloraids of the golden twins. That shit would make a kick ass default picture for my Facebook profile.
Image: Gallery of the Absurd - Source
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Can't wait for the photo shopped pics of little Fart Knox and Viv walking on water.
haaha
at JJ I was looser and I managed to mention poop in every post. mostly skankalina's pooo.
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"In the unlikely event of a sudden change in cabin pressure.."
ROOF FLIES OFF!
RIP George Carlin
@ boomsy: That's a super-fun site, IMO... I think they specialize in weird photos. I think those pics made the stories even spookier. I had a hard time reading too ;P
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
Submitted by lolainchesaway on July 19, 2008 - 1:05pm.
I'm over this two and their traveling circus...
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same here, just waiting for the circus wagon wheels to come flying off, THEMS gonna be goooood times
@angel_i: Ok, I can see it now, and thanks for the link, even though those stories were bizarre.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
@ boomsy: I'm working on new pics now. It's really hard to make those viewable in that little space. It's a Mama pigeon and her two babies. (her third and fourth, actually)They'll nest if they can hide - I had it set up for my bunnies on my balcony and she found a little spot I never looked at - anyhow - they're all exposed and I'm making a photo diary for my kid:) we have pics of the eggs hatching even!
And THEN when those babies grow - they are ALL evicted!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
Submitted by Sensimina on July 19, 2008 - 12:58pm.
Jolie better stay away from the Romanian orphans. My mom came here from Romania when she was 18. The orphan situation there is sickening...there are 13 year old that can't walk because they've never been out of bed. Children like that need actual one on one care and tons of therapy - physical, emotional, everything. God forbid they collect a child that can't just be tossed aside to a nanny. Or one that's not pretty enough to fit into their exotic baby collection.
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good points -- when I googled Mia Farrow found out that at least she adopted disabled kids. Funny how Trange didn't steal THAT page from Mia's playbook.
*ETA: "Me and my best friend ate a ton of mushrooms and both saw the Freddie fly off the wall at the same time. I'll never forget that shit. Can it really be a hallucination if we both saw the same thing at the same time? HMMM. I love mind altering substances."
Freddie = God. No hallucination there.
Submitted by angel_i on July 19, 2008 - 12:15pm
I have 2 things for you, dear:
1. What in the WORLD is your avie a pic of?
2. The pics on that site are scaring which is making it difficult to read the stories. Just thought I'd share that.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
For Sensimina and boomsy:
http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/06/weirdest-examples-of-mass-hyster...
I got this from Triscuit yesterday.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
I HAVE heard of group hallucinations, but really couldn't tell you; I'm a drug virgin.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
Submitted by Sensimina on July 19, 2008 - 12:08pm
I'm still trying to get past the image of Freddie Mercury in a leotard with angel wings...give me a moment...
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
juuuust had some wierd urge to post this...
1JO 2:18 Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that
the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how
we know it is the last hour.
I also have the wicked urge to stock up on canned goods.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Booms, the funniest thing is how they are a thousand percent convinced that Jen Aniston gives two fat wet shit about JJ. Like she seriously spends all day on there commenting, and makes her PR team and boyfriend do the same. I want some of the crazy Kool Aid they're all drinking over there, maybe I'll see some sweet ass hallucinations.
Which brings me to a short story. I have a painted picture of Freddie Mercury in a leotard with angel wings on my wall. Now mind you that I almost never see hallucinations while on acid or shroomz, it's almost always a spiritual type trip. Me and my best friend ate a ton of mushrooms and both saw the Freddie fly off the wall at the same time. I'll never forget that shit. Can it really be a hallucination if we both saw the same thing at the same time? HMMM. I love mind altering substances.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
That makes a lot of sense, boomsy.
And DOT - I'm sure GOTW #14 went there for inspiration. I'm just glad the D-Listed crew could be so helpful!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
I'm over this two and their traveling circus...
Submitted by angel_i on July 19, 2008 - 1:02pm.
Those quotes were from JJ where D-Listers were masquerading as Brangeloonies.
OHHHHHHHHH. Thank you for the heads up. *wipes bead of sweat off of forehead* PHEW!
Submitted by angel_i on July 19, 2008 - 12:01pm
All joking aside, I think she goes to countries where there are minimal regulations on adoptions. Being a celebrity, I'm sure they make it super easy for her. Never in America would they allow her to adopt, which is why all her adopted ones are foreign.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
Submitted by boomsy on July 19, 2008 - 1:02pm.
Aw, I remember now...wow, they REALLY didn't like you. I remember someone asking what golden showers were...
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LOL! That was me - I wanted to make them talk dirty ;P
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
Submitted by . on July 19, 2008 - 12:59pm.
Holy crappola! And, here I thought d-listed was a cozy little snarky nucleus. I better be more careful about what I say here from now on. =;O
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Those quotes were from JJ where D-Listers were masquerading as Brangeloonies.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
Aw, I remember now...wow, they REALLY didn't like you. I remember someone asking what golden showers were...
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
@Sensimina - It would seem to me that they choose they're children because they seem to be low maintenance compared to the other children they could have chosen from those places. It's always been a slight point of contention for me.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
lol Booms, i'm pretty high so now might be a good time to bring Thomas back. i have to go through proxies so it's a pain in the ass but it's worth it to see the loons erupt. and yeah, after a few days they were telling me to "go piss on your girlfriend, John Mayer" and chittering to themselves how annoying it is that Jen Aniston and her "team" are constantly commenting on Brangie.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
I love GOTA- 14 is a genius.....
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“Maybe I was mean, but I really don't think so; you asked for the truth and I told you..."
-Sinead O'Connor "The Emperor's New Clothes"
Submitted by boomsy on July 19, 2008 - 12:46pm.
OMG OMG OMG you guys; go to the gallery of the absurd link; that guy used some of our crazy comments from our "raid just jared" day and called us bangeloonies!!! How great is that? He even used 2 of mine; are we good or what?
Holy crappola! And, here I thought d-listed was a cozy little snarky nucleus. I better be more careful about what I say here from now on. =;O
Jolie better stay away from the Romanian orphans. My mom came here from Romania when she was 18. The orphan situation there is sickening...there are 13 year old that can't walk because they've never been out of bed. Children like that need actual one on one care and tons of therapy - physical, emotional, everything. God forbid they collect a child that can't just be tossed aside to a nanny. Or one that's not pretty enough to fit into their exotic baby collection.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
Submitted by boomsy on July 19, 2008 - 12:56pm.
I don't know who did that "down on my knees" one angel_i, but I'm willing to bet it was one of us.:
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It was - I just can't remember who...perhaps CTH...
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
Submitted by Sensimina on July 19, 2008 - 11:51am
They thought you were John Mayer? What idiots.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
I don't know who did that "down on my knees" one angel_i, but I'm willing to bet it was one of us.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
@ boomsy: Originally, I'd thought that last one was real.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
Submitted by Dlisters:
"OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG—– My life now has meaning. You guys, today is totally my birthday…. and my mom’s name is Vivian! (I know darling Vivienne is spelled differently, but still)This is the first thing I’ve been able to share with the blessed Jolie-Pitts. I am over the moon."
3 of mine:
"I’m really getting tired of being hated on just because I want people to be happy. Babies are a gift from God, especially from people as wonderful as Brad and Angie. All you Aniston (yuck) lovers out there are just jealous that he’s happy and successful now. I think she needs to adopt an Indian baby next or something even more exotic to add to the beauty that is their family. Maybe one from Romania?"
"I still think we should find a way to let Brangelina know that there are people out here who love them and want to wish them all the best… I wanna write a poem like some other people did but I’m not that smart. "
"This should be a day of celebration, yet everyone is just so MEAN. Why can’t the twins and the rest of the Jolie-Pitts have at least ONE nice day without so many people trying to ruin it? She just had TWINS for crying out loud. Angelina is such a beautiful matyr; I wish I could be more like her. Sure, she’s kinda shunning America, but I still luv, luv, LUV her!!! Anyone else want to start a petition to wish them the best luck in the world?"
HAHAHAHAHA!!! They bought it!!
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
I know mine and a few others; give me a minute and I'll post them.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
OMG boomsy - that was YOU!?! That was classic - I'm down on my knees where I know Angie wants me to be....I never say this but in honour of my D-Listed bitches: BWAHAHAHAHA!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
boomsy,
I'd never be able to remember the loon type comments I made on JJ, they blend in so scarily well with the real loons. It all runs together. I used to post as "Thomas" and I'd just write gross things about eating Jolie's placenta and nasty shit like that...like fingering her "raw birth canal" and stuff like that. It really riled up the loons and I was accused of being both Jen Aniston herself and John Mayer. By the end they were convinced I was truly John Mayer.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
Submitted by boomsy on July 19, 2008 - 12:46pm.
OMG OMG OMG you guys; go to the gallery of the absurd link; that guy used some of our crazy comments from our "raid just jared" day and called us bangeloonies!!! How great is that? He even used 2 of mine; are we good or what?
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I KNEW it! I was thinking that when I saw this, but then I thought: NAH! - who was it? tonicbitch? Who was going on about the shrine...? That's SO damn funnay!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
Correction: make that 3 of my crazy comments; LOL
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
OMG OMG OMG you guys; go to the gallery of the absurd link; that guy used some of our crazy comments from our "raid just jared" day and called us bangeloonies!!! How great is that? He even used 2 of mine; are we good or what?
**********************************************
Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
John Travolta's got the biggest man titties in Hollywood.
But a lot of men are sucking them nonetheless.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
http://spaziofonati.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/fat-val-kilmer.jpg
Yikes!
and the same thing happend to the Baldwins.
This just goes to show you that when this whore family DOESN'T want to be photographed, they can evade the paps. Of course, they have their new twins to sell for big bucks now, so they'll be sure to stay out of sight until the unveiling.
They make me sick.
Didn't Val get skinny and ripped a couple years back for some kind of "comeback" and then it never happened and he just got fat again? Or has he just been steadily getting fatter and fatter?
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
Submitted by Sensimina on July 19, 2008 - 12:14pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Love that movie,too!
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"I'm the whoriest whore whoever whored..." MK
TheBreakdown,
that is JOHN TRAVOLTA and her glorious moobs. I think Val might be even fatter.
Damn that Shiloh! She really is one of the cutest babies in the whole world. Luckily, kids who are extra cute when they're little often turn out looking like this when they grow up:
http://www.topnews.in/light/files/Britney-Spears39.jpg - safe.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
Omg, that picture cracks me up. Who made that? So cool.
Submitted by angel_i on July 19, 2008 - 11:25am.
O LOL! I see hit Pitts! HA! Good one:)
-Oh snap I did't notice him till you pointed it out, 14 at the gallery is a talented/witty gal :)
Why is there no Brad in that picture there...He really is just fading away to nothing, yes?
O LOL! I see his Pitts! HA! Good one:)
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
The scene on my balcony right now;S
Submitted by . on July 19, 2008 - 12:16pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 19, 2008 - 12:13pm
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Thanks, doll!!! MWAH!!********groping your butt, putting smacky kitten kisses on your face******
Glad they have the great minds at the Gallery they do, they come up with some of the best shit, ever!!
Big AMEN, to that, sister!! And an even bigger "thank you!!" ♥♥♥♥♥♥
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Sensimina on July 19, 2008 - 11:14am.
I love that movie too!
The dishes are DONE maaaan!
That movie is also a guilty pleasure of mine.
Don't tell nobody!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by Kizzy on July 19, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Good morning!♥♥
Good mornin' back atchya, sweet baby girl! *sloppy, wet kitten kisses*
Yeah, the "Gallery of the absurd" stuff is silly but definitely giggle inducing.
I hope your weekend is going ggggggggggggreat (said in Tony the Tiger voice)!
Just smile. Today is today, yesterday was yesterday and who the fuck knows about tomorrow. :)