The Twin Messiahs Are Out
Put down that fucking chocolate croissant and pay attention. Saint Angelina and the twin messiahs have been released from their hospital chambers in France to embark on their world tour. The pope has cancelled all of his travel plans and has given Saint Angelina and the chosen ones use of his pope mobile. Seriously, Angie Jo left the hospital this morning after giving birth a week ago. She needed the week to get lipo, a tummy tuck and a titty lift recover.
Angie Jo, Hard Knox and Vivi managed to beat the paparazzi rush and slipped out around 4 a.m. They joined the rest of the Brangelina holy family at Chateau Miraval. Paps were stationed on roof tops near the hospital, thinking that Angie would fly away in a helicopter.
One witness told People, "This group of people got into the van, very quickly. . . . It was all done in a hurry. And they were very quick organizing themselves inside. Very rapid. And then 'Pouf!' they were gone" DUH! That's how saints do it. They disappeared in a cloud of holy smoke and all that was left was a feather from Hard Knox's angel wings.
You know, I was really hoping some slick pap would get a clear picture of the chosen ones. That would have totally effed up their multi-million dollar picture deal. Quick! Somebody text Maddox and offer him a Hoveround in exchange for poloraids of the golden twins. That shit would make a kick ass default picture for my Facebook profile.
Image: Gallery of the Absurd - Source
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Why is Val Kilmer so fat now? He was hotter than Pitt in his heyday of the 90s.
I'm really high and watching a video of "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead" taped from TV. That movie and its fashions are fucking awesome.
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
She probably did need to recover for a week from having a c section for twins.I had a non emergency unplanned(baby was breech&I was in active labor) c section and I was at the hossy for 3 1/2 days,almost4.
And if they plan on having more messiahs,she probably wouldn't be able to get a tummy tuck...
Submitted by . on July 19, 2008 - 12:10pm.
Good morning!♥♥
ROFL They do, they are some talented fools over there!!
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Kizzy
Morning girlfriend!
Gallery of the absurd definitely sums this up.
Justina:
is that Val Kilmer in your avi?
If so...goddamn! He's gotten fatter!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Triscut
:( he is sooo HWAT and funny I need a STRAIGHT version of him STAT
This picture is pure genius!
*muahahahaha* (attempt at evil scientist laugh)
Submitted by xxyxz on July 19, 2008 - 12:02pm
Good morning, doll, ITA xoxo
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
I like the "Virgin Mary head tilt."
I so asked you for you to add my as your friend on facebook...WOW..hot stuff..
How did you know I was eating a chocolate croissant??? I need to turn off my webcam..
Lucy Goosey is spot on as always.
++++++++++++++++++++
I don't agree with animal testing; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
MK, you are gorgeous!
*sigh*
It's too early in the morn for the fuckery
MK is so hot in his facebook pic!!!!!
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"I'm the whoriest whore whoever whored..." MK
I think I'm going to be sick.
Bradi,
This was my favorite people quote:
"There was a sudden spray of light out of the hospital's garage way and then four or five people came out of that through a rear doorway,"
With all those halos glowing, I am surprised to find that anyone could drive the van. In fact I think the glow on the horizon to the east is no longer the sun...It is just "The Glow" of saintedness-ness in France.
Dog Bless The JoliePitts.
***gagging in Texas***
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
OMFG... this picture is KILLING ME. They got it right on target. I love how Brad is all with his arm pits in the air... get it... PITTS. I am so saving this shit.
L♥VE,
PCA
I was thinking of starting "The Jolie-Pitt Umbilical Cord Society" to "reach out" to Angeloonies. Membership fee 49.95...gotta try to cash in on this somehow.
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Now hopefully, the whole clan will disappear behind the walls of their chateau for a long time.
Lucy Goosey for HWAT slut of the Day, y'all!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store.
One witness told People, "This group of people got into the van, very quickly. . . . It was all done in a hurry. And they were very quick organizing themselves inside. Very rapid. And then 'Pouf!' they were gone"
- "Witness" instead of "source", clever semantics.
The Brangeloosers are now all gathered reminiscing about Skeletina's pregnancy, adoptions and how ultra fantastique the holy mother is and will be, after all, this was the immaculate conception of the Wonder Twins.
Only the most ultimate of non-human celebs can have twins. No, no she is not human, if she were, she would not be perfect and do evil things and butcher fake accents and shooting automatic weapons hanging from a car window.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Pffft...whatever. When I had my baby, I just teleported out of the hospital and my body automatically returned to it's sekksy original form with a wave of my hand. That's how REAL saints do it.
Angry Mom and Ms. Jaded,
thank you.
Have a wonderful Saturday everyone and remember to always look your best and be courteous to others.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Maybe now the hoopla will die down, and they'll remember it's hard for people to miss you, if you don't go away.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on July 19, 2008 - 10:35am.
This whole Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt baby fiasco has gotten completely out of hand.
My God, they are not royalty. And, even if they were, it does not warrant the ridiculous media attention they are receiving.
They are a couple of mediocre talents that have manipulated and engulfed the media and the public into their own world of grandeur entitlement.
I have had enough of their shenanigans.
-The above eloquently written post is WORTH REPEATING, God Bless ya Lucy :)
Lol@ Michael K. Well said.
Yes, my sentiments exactly, Lucy Goosey.
I.am.so.sick.of.these.people.
Oh boy, here we go....
This whole Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt baby fiasco has gotten completely out of hand.
My God, they are not royalty. And, even if they were, it does not warrant the ridiculous media attention they are receiving.
They are a couple of mediocre talents that have manipulated and engulfed the media and the public into their own world of grandeur entitlement.
I have had enough of their shenanigans.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Still can't get over the fact she called the poor bou 'Knox', that even worse than Sunday Roas-- Rose!
~♥~'Strong women inspire me - who dont do things just to win the approval of others. My mother was a strong role model. She's an amazing woman to endure what she did in my childhood.'~Xtina~♥
Angie does her own stunts!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston