The Dark Knight Made A Shit Load Of Cash
The Dark Knight knocked Spider-Man 3 off the top spot for the biggest opening weekend ever. TDK made around $155.3 million this weekend, beating SM3's $151.1 million opening last year. TDK also broke a bunch of other records too. Basically, people are losing it for this movie. Women that aren't even pregnant are going into labor over this shit. It's nuts.
Here's the top 5 movies at the box office this weekend:
1. The Dark Knight - $155.3 million
2. Mamma Mia! - $27.6 million
3. Hancock - $14 million
4. Journey to the Center of the Earth - $11.9 million
5. Hellboy II - $10 million
I skipped seeing TDK after I saw the 3-hour line from hell for it. It was worse than the fucking iPhone line! I opted for the homo fiesta known as Mamma Mia! At least I thought it was going to be a homo fiesta.
Seriously, I thought I was going to get butt fucked by a plethora of glittery gayness. NOT! It didn't even satisfy my homo tooth. It was AWFUL! First of all, it felt like I was watching it in the rec room of a retirement home. Memaws on my left, pepaws on my right. Second of all, Pierce Brosnan should never be allowed to sing ever again. They should have gotten Kermit the Frog to dub his singing voice. It would've sounded better. Even the memaws in the audience were laughing at him! When a memaw laughs at you, it's time to excuse yourself and sit in the nearest corner. Basically, don't pay money for this shit. Buy yourself a cocktail instead. It tastes better and won't leave you thinking bad thoughts about Pierce Brosnan.
And just because, here's some pics of Christian Bale leaving LAX with his family yesterday.
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I have an acquaintance that gets hired by women to try to pick up their significant others, to see if they'll cheat.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by tonicbitch on July 21, 2008 - 12:26am.
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LOL, damn I wish I lived in Chicago. That sounds like a kick ass job.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on July 21, 2008 - 12:29am.
see, underestimating yourself!
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"I can stand here, strong and thin.
I can laugh when this thing begins.
God, I feel so strong."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on July 21, 2008 - 12:27am.
OK, you caught me. I just can't run fast in heels.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on July 21, 2008 - 12:24am.
ppffft, yeah right... that's all i got
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"I can stand here, strong and thin.
I can laugh when this thing begins.
God, I feel so strong."
lori, even better! Then the guy can claim he had an affair with the groom. Escalando!
The girl was so hysterical. There are 5 or 6 of them that work at their "company" and they rotate them out all the time so they dont get recognized. The person paying them gives them really personal info so the whole thing sounds legit and they're willing to travel if their expenses were covered. They dont have a website or anything because they're afraid of getting beaten within an inch of their lives, but they claim they are well paid for what they do. LMAO!!!
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on July 21, 2008 - 12:24am.
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LMFAO!!! That visual is hilarious.
Can you run in gladiator sandals? They're the rage this season.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by QueenCharisma on July 21, 2008 - 12:20am.
OK, I'll do it. I can't run in heels though.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
Submitted by tonicbitch on July 21, 2008 - 12:17am.
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I just thought about it - I'd have to get a guy to do it. Ex would just screw the female wedding crasher.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
tonicbitch, that is soooooo wrong.....hahahhahahhaa
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"Through their own words, they will be exposed; they got a severe case of 'The Emperor's New Clothes"
- Sinead O'Connor
oh man I dont remember it lol. But really if you can find a random person who doesnt mind a little humiliation and can run really fast in heels then youre good to go.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by tonicbitch on July 21, 2008 - 12:08am.
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Get me the number, stat!
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
"Submitted by QueenCharisma on July 20, 2008 - 9:57pm."
There is a girl in chicago that runs a "professional" wedding crasher business...she occasionally comes on the radio stations here and advertises...anyway people pay her to ruin their exes weddings. Sick but funny at the same time.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by angel_i on July 20, 2008 - 8:47pm.
TDK can give your Ex's fiance a big zit on her wedding day!
Or a (undisclosed) herpes breakout right before the honeymoon.
Deb, you're killing me here, lol. Maybe I should just send you to do it - you'd be way more creative with the punishment than I would.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
I always thought the only thing TDK was good for is making rockin' mixed tapes - who know it could do so much?
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"3 boys named Maddox, Pax and Knox. Those three should start a boy band and call themselves Triple X."
QC,
If you can get close enough, take his toothbrush and wipe the inside of the toilet with it then put it back in exactly the same spot.
Everytime he smiles at new bride??? Total yay! on your behalf.
Worked wonders for me.
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Oh god it's another disease
And you just got rid of the last
You were beginning to feel OK
And the friends you gave it to
Were speaking to you again.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 20, 2008 - 11:48pm.
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You guys are so sweet :)
Really, I'm starting to feel much better now.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on July 20, 2008 - 11:39pm.
Damn, if that many people wanted to see a dude in a skintight latex suit, they should've gone to Tom Cruise's bachelor party.
Hehe. Does Batman get to use his Bat-o-wang?
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...and a huge wart on her ass.
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Oh god it's another disease
And you just got rid of the last
You were beginning to feel OK
And the friends you gave it to
Were speaking to you again.
angel_i's picture
Submitted by angel_i on July 20, 2008 - 11:47pm.
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LOL. TDK can make his dick fall off on the wedding night!
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
TDK can give your Ex's fiance a big zit on her wedding day!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by angel_i on July 20, 2008 - 11:42pm.
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Then I DEFINITELY need to see it again.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
TDK can predict your future.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 20, 2008 - 11:40pm.
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LOL, no.
I need to go see TDK again - it'll make me feel better. It's that good.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by QueenCharisma on July 20, 2008 - 10:28pm.
OMG, my ex is getting married next month! *grrr* What kind of fuckery is this?!
the Good Kind?
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Oh god it's another disease
And you just got rid of the last
You were beginning to feel OK
And the friends you gave it to
Were speaking to you again.
Damn, if that many people wanted to see a dude in a skintight latex suit, they should've gone to Tom Cruise's bachelor party.
***********************************************
My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
OMG, my ex is getting married next month! *grrr* What kind of fuckery is this?!
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by Sheeps on July 20, 2008 - 11:18pm.
Holy fuckballs, Sheeps! You know your Ren and Stimpy! *giggles*
hehehehe
Anything that is better than bad is always GOOD. TDK for prezzerdent!
Those small-peen guys went as a group to see TDK and came out singing the log song:
What rolls down stairs
alone or in pairs,
and over your neighbor's dog?
What's great for a snack,
And fits on your back?
It's log, log, log
It's log, it's log,
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's log, it's log, it's better than bad, it's good.
TDK is fat free and yet buttery. YESSSSSSSSS
TDK made Tom Cruise leave the $cieno club, admit to being gay, fess up about Suri's baby daddy, and run off into the sunset with John Travolta.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
TDK feels more good than being reunited
sometimes love doesn't feel like it should but TDK made it hurt so good
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hot damn, ho, here we go again.
TDK is so good it made Brangelina leave the public eye forever.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
TDK was so good, it made Britney take responsibility.
Oh and God resigned from his position.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
I won't say TDK is excellent, but, at the Directors' Guild premiere, Spielberg, Lucas, and Coppola all slit their wrists as the credits rolled. "Why even try anymore?" they wailed. Polanski would have offed himself, too, but he's stuck in France after statutory-rape charges.
TDK is so good, the loons started building a shrine for Maniston.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
You funny bitches! Stop it! I'm supposed to be working!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by tonicbitch on July 20, 2008 - 7:45pm.
Chuck Norris bows down to TDK.
hahahahaha. Wow, can't top that.
Submitted by madam s. on July 20, 2008 - 7:36pm.
TDK is so good that Perez Hilton walked out straight and funny.
girl you know it is so good it made Lindsay Lohan put on some panties
it was so good that Blake decided to drop the other 2 a's
even the Brangelina twins had to be born before it came out because it was just that damn good.
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hot damn, ho, here we go again.
I heard TDK is so good that angels came down from heaven to view it.
Unfortch, herpes and cancer wasn't cured by TDK but WATCH for it. ANYTHING is plausible. ;p
I also heard it can turn Paris into a nun.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
TDK is so good I can now orgasm without my toys and in fact any surface I sit on hence forth gives me orgasms. Now I can't stop though. Help?
What?
:P
I heard The Dark Knight will heal your vision problems.
The only thing I regret about this movie, is that unlike the incredible hulk, iron man, wanted, and han(d)cock, I forgot to bring my glasses....blasphemy...I actually forgot the damn glasses....arghhhhhhhh..
So I had to sit up close and some of the visual goodies were lost on me because they happened so quick...I wish I hadn't forgotten them..
I should kill myself in the face for this!!!
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Lamb, innocent and delicious !
"Submitted by madam s. on July 20, 2008 - 8:36pm."
Chuck Norris bows down to TDK.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
it's so good it made Shauna Sand wear leather shoes! it's THAT good!!
it made Amy Winehouse swear off crack, yup, that good
it made Britney's hair grow and DMX turn away from crime kinda good!
damn it's so goooood
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hot damn, ho, here we go again.
...and don't forget, that TDK gives 200 miles per gallon, and a thousand bonus miles...
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Lamb, innocent and delicious !
Heath Ledger was perfectly cast as the Joker, but Christian Bale really is the shit in this movie. No, I am not just saying this because I want him on me. His portrayal of Bruce Wayne is perfect and his Batman is terrifying. Heath & Christian really do make the movie into something that you say, "what the fuck just happened?" It is a right versus wrong movie that gets it right.