You Don't Say?
In their latest issue, UsWeekly shouts from the mountain tops that Saint Angelina conceived through in vitro. You mean to tell me that she didn't conceive by simply touching her womb with her holy hand?! I don't believe it!
A source told the magazine that Brad and Angie were desperate for more kids so they tried fertility treatments. Some doctor who didn't treat Brangie said, "The chance of having fraternal twins at Angelina's age (33) naturally is under 1 percent; with in vitro, the chances are 25 percent. We live in an era of reproductive freedom, so anybody can do anything they want within legal limits."
Angie went with the procedure so she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of trying to get knocked up. The source went on to say, "She could just knock it out. They were too impatient." Just knock it out? I bet you Angie used those same words.
Saint Angie is probably always on fertility drugs. You pop a vitamin C in the morning and she pops a fertility pill. Shit, she's probably pregnant right now....with triplets! The triplets were waiting in the wings while the chosen ones did their thing. In heaven, there's a huge line of babies waiting for their turn. And you thought the iPhone line was long?
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Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 24, 2008 - 2:49pm.
LCT,
Do you feel like you are banging your head against the wall yet?
Their ignorance or naivity has no limits.
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I would just like to know how they think IVF isn't a likelihood. You're right, their ignorance has no limits. Someone could be punching an elephant penis through their ear holes and they'd still say elephants have no reproductive organs.
Submitted by christine the hoff on July 24, 2008 - 1:49pm.
Of course they want the attention, what is wrong with you?
Did you ever SEE Tom Hanks kids?
not til they were grown.
same with bruce and demi.
It can be avoided, if you give the least effort.
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Hell yes the Jolie-Pitts are attention whores. You are totally right- nobody saw any one of Tom Hanks' kids until Colin Hanks started acting when he was an adult (unlike Will Smith, who is already pushing his young children into acting).
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 24, 2008 - 2:51pm.
LCT,
Of course, I am serious....
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I bet there are signed documents hidden inside Ziploc bags in the toilets at Us Magazine.
Ladies and gents, we need another mission.
Operation Les Blobs has commenced (PLEASE feel free to think of a better name)
Submitted by Stoney on July 24, 2008 - 2:53pm.
Submitted by Libraesque2007 on July 24, 2008 - 1:49pm.
Suck a nut, son of a bitch.
BWAHHHHH HA HA HA THAT is why i love the Stoney!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 24, 2008 - 2:52pm.
HA HA HA
I imagine a reporter ducking down in the corner of the delivery room talking like his bitch ass is on a safari show. All whispering into the mic..
" We are here in the succubuses natural habitat called an Operating Room. Here in this room the sucubus has recieved new body parts ranging from lips, ass holes, breast.... wait what?"
*Reporter straightens up and gets her fake ghetto voice that Tyra does when she is mad*
The reporter continues," BItch gots new lips and assholes and titties what? Is she giving borth up in this bitch or making some fucking hot dogs?"
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Deb, yeah, I heard about those convos. I can't wait till US busts them out.
Monkeypox, again, ITA. I think that flaws are very important, because it makes what is great about you that much more special and rare.
If everyone were super attractive and smart and athletic and blah, then no one would be unique or special.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
I wish they'd named their kid an anogram for the word Vitro, or In Vitro.. that would be awesome,, something like Torvini or anything.. Then be like "in vitro, no way would we do something like that" *shocked look on face*
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
Submitted by Libraesque2007 on July 24, 2008 - 1:49pm.
Hey! Some of my best friends are in the crazymotherfucker program! LOL
Suck a nut, son of a bitch.
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Submitted by LoLo on July 24, 2008 - 2:48pm.
CARROT LOVER TIMES!
NO SHIT!
Brad Dumb Shit has been handeling his own PR stunts and THAT is the only reason we had this crazy bitches obgyn giving us daily readings from angies version of the mother fucking vagina monologues!
"Today Angies Vuvlva is ripe and puffy. Still no bastards oozing out of yet. Tootles!"
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Hahahah ripe and puffy. Seriously, I'm surprised they didn't say that. I bet if she had delivered naturally there'd have been a nice play-by-play of the vaginal birth in a joint interview with Brange.
Brad: "I saw IVF Twin A's head crowning and I just felt so much joy..."
Angie: "You felt joy, you bastard. I felt my vagina ripping a slit all the way down to my ass hole. It's ok though, I can have that all fixed up. I paid for my plastic surgeon out of The Blob's education fund to follow us here to perform the necessary tweaks."
*Interviewer vomiting silenty into his cupped hands*
LCT,
Of course, I am serious....
((Psst-I am trying to reestablish my funny bone!))
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Submitted by Libraesque2007 on July 24, 2008 - 2:49pm.
So then you are going to hit the fucking road?
Cool!!! Thanks!!!!!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Of course they want the attention, what is wrong with you?
Did you ever SEE Tom Hanks kids?
not til they were grown.
same with bruce and demi.
It can be avoided, if you give the least effort.
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"I don't like your grandma Cartmen, she smells like vitamins and pee."
get with the program????
what program? The crazymotherfucker program?
yea, no.
I'll stick to my own program of not caring why they have kids
You've ruined Patsy's Hookie Mookie!!
LCT,
Do you feel like you are banging your head against the wall yet?
Their ignorance or naivity has no limits.
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Pillaloonies... Oooohh yeah!!
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
CARROT LOVER TIMES!
NO SHIT!
Brad Dumb Shit has been handeling his own PR stunts and THAT is the only reason we had this crazy bitches obgyn giving us daily readings from angies version of the mother fucking vagina monologues!
"Today Angies Vuvlva is ripe and puffy. Still no bastards oozing out of yet. Tootles!"
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 24, 2008 - 2:43pm.
US mag has the videos of all of the Brad/Jen conversations in Mexico but they have them locked away. They cannot risk the Angie fans going into full meltdown and burning their building to the ground.
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Is this a juicy DListed fanfic story of the demise of Brange or are you serious?
Submitted by idiots drive me loco on July 24, 2008 - 2:43pm.
if they didn't fucking love the attention and money from the kiddie pix, they wouldn't be sending out the lawyers in full force to pull pics that might jepordize their deal. If they didn't give a shit about the attention, they would release the pics for free, or god forbid, they would try to shield their children from the media spotlight, like many good hollywood parents do. How many times have you seen Depp's kids? Halle Berry hasn't sold her kid's pics yet. They are just attention whores.
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Exactly. Well said.
Submitted by Libraesque2007 on July 24, 2008 - 2:39pm.
It's truly a special kind of insanity that would make someone think that a celebrity that's followed around by hundreds of paps on a daily basis would go through 9 months of pregnancy, while raising 4 kids, for the sole purpose of bringing attention to themselves
YOU are fucking nuts
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Are you KIDDING me? If they didn't want all the attention they wouldn't be out whoring themselves out and calling press conferences to announce NOTHING HAS CHANGED. Fuck off. Seriously.
US mag has the videos of all of the Brad/Jen conversations in Mexico but they have them locked away. They cannot risk the Angie fans going into full meltdown and burning their building to the ground.
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
if they didn't fucking love the attention and money from the kiddie pix, they wouldn't be sending out the lawyers in full force to pull pics that might jepordize their deal. If they didn't give a shit about the attention, they would release the pics for free, or god forbid, they would try to shield their children from the media spotlight, like many good hollywood parents do. How many times have you seen Depp's kids? Halle Berry hasn't sold her kid's pics yet. They are just attention whores.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Submitted by Libraesque2007 on July 24, 2008 - 2:39pm.
well freak do freaky fucked up shit.
What the fuck do you want US to do about it?
They are shoving thier little bastard bitch babies all up our collective asses every where we fucking turn.
You know the deal here.
It should not be a fucking suprise we make fun of these stupid fucking freaks of nature.
Get with the program. Jesus
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by thlayly5 on July 24, 2008 - 1:31pm
Um, yeah, I have a massive problem with the whole selective reproduction bullshit too... genetic engineering cannot be too far behind, and I'll be damned if my baby looks like a factory manufactured doll. I mean, sure, I would like it if my baby were to grow up and be attractive, if even just modestly. But I also want him/her to look like both my hubby/bf/baby-batter donr and me, because he/she will be a product of both our genes. I hope I'm long gone before all the interestign differences disappear into a crowd of scandinavian looking people...
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
It's truly a special kind of insanity that would make someone think that a celebrity that's followed around by hundreds of paps on a daily basis would go through 9 months of pregnancy, while raising 4 kids, for the sole purpose of bringing attention to themselves
YOU are fucking nuts
You've ruined Patsy's Hookie Mookie!!
hahaha okie you loon!!
me and okie are pillaloonies
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Mrs K.,
I had to watch it again last night!
Here ya go...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWeLMO88VA8&feature=related
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What's a 50 year old lollipop man doing knowin fuckin karate??
Oh wait, thlay, you mean when they thought up the ultimate plan to have Angie carry Jen's babies. LOL!
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Ibuprofen.. I'd have gotten pissed! I'd reach in and get a tool.. Pull out another toof in the lobby to let them understand my level of crazy then calmly say "now give me a real prescription!" *smiling w/ bloody mouf's*
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
Excellent, Deb. Let's continue to spread this theory....
Excellent... (a la Mr. Burns)
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Stoney said bunghole fissure.
MiaWallace is right- you can have fraternals even if it's not in your family- at some point, everyone releases an irregular amount of eggs (like none or two) and that irregularity increases with age. And if you conceive when you've released more than one egg, then voila. Frats.
Hyperovulation can also be genetic. Hence the running in the mother's side.
My mom is a fraternal twin, and she has another two sisters that are fraternal twins. (7 kids- Irish catholic) So, I have some good odds for frats.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
"They thought it up while they were in Mexico enjoying sexy times just before separation. Jennifer told Brad that she would give anything for a real baby. Brad told her to give him 5 yrs and that he would do anything for her."
What? Never heard that before. Please expound and name your source.
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
@Mrs. K,
Doesn't the grammar give you a heart attact "over there"? That is way beyond typos. Now you have me curious about LA. Will fight that one for a while.
Thalayly5,
They thought it up while they were in Mexico enjoying sexy times just before separation. Jennifer told Brad that she would give anything for a real baby. Brad told her to give him 5 yrs and that he would do anything for her.
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Submitted by Libraesque2007 on July 24, 2008 - 1:28pm.
Yes I'm fucking serious you bunghole fissure, and the selling of the baby pics to magazines proves that.
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Monkeypox, ITA. In vitro doesn't cheapen it- sometimes it makes it possible for people who want bio kids to have bio kids.
The thing that concerns me about it is the selective reduction (even though i get that it allows the remaining babies to be more healthy) because if ou can select which baby stays or goes, it's just a little more time and money until you can choose the traits you want your kid to have.
And I done seen Gattaca too many times to think that that is a good idea!
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Okie, Jesus Christ, she said they gave her 800 MG Ibuprofen and she had one tooth pulled at the dentist! LOL!
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
the merkin avies are very fucking funny.....
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Long distance, don't talk about ex-girlfriends; don't talk about you without me, don't talk about the past
-No Doubt "In My Head"
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 24, 2008 - 2:23pm.
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Because they are fucking MORONS!!!!!!!
Ahem, excuse my outburst,
Sorry.
Won't happen again.
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HA HA HA BEAUTIFUL!
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
bring attention to themselves??? by having children
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
wtf!!!!????? are you fucking serious with that comment????!!!!
FYI, your chances of having twins INCREASES with age not the other way around
You've ruined Patsy's Hookie Mookie!!
hahaha, they jaked her!! 1000mg ibuprophen!! pfft!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Libra quote: "well Brad can have all the twins in his family but it wont matter bcoz if Angie, her mother and maternal grandmother weren't fraternal twins... there's NO way she can have twins!"
True, the predisposition to have fraternal twins runs on the mother's side, but that doesn't mean that you can't have twins if nobody in your family has. Fraternal twins result from the woman releasing two eggs instead of one, and that can happen for several reasons. For instance, the possibility of conceiving twins increases after the woman turns 35 years old, because then the body starts more irregular egg releases and periods preparing itself for menopause.
Having said this, her twins can be either in vitro or unassisted, not that I give a sod.
Mrs. Kravitz, I love you.
Deb, that would be the funniest, awesomest conspiracy ever.
I just wish that theory could make the rounds to JJ and infuriate the little loons.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Submitted by MONKEYPOX on July 24, 2008 - 2:24pm.
I do however agree that it's entirely selfish that someone like BP and Angelina Ho-lie would have kids via in vitro because it's too much work and they're impatient.
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ITA. Maybe they should find better ways to spend their money like say, oh, I don't know, THE CHARITIES THEY'RE IGNORNING.
Missy.. LMAO.. Well what did YourMomsTaco say about those pill times.. I need to know.. Say!! *whines, stomps*
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
Submitted by thlayly5 on July 24, 2008 - 1:17pm
Agreed. I mean, since when are people on a fucking life schedule? It's not a fucking rat race, so it doesn't matter when someone reaches a milestone in their personal life. I could have a kid today, if I decided, or when I'm 45. The decision is mine, and solely mine to make. It is my body, and I'll decide when I want to do what with it. And my aunt and uncle had to conceive via in vitro because of multiple miscarriages, and my cousin is the first boy of our gen in my mom's family. So fuck people who think in vitro somehow cheapens conception(aka Brangeloonies). I do however agree that it's entirely selfish that someone like BP and Angelina Ho-lie would have kids via in vitro because it's too much work and they're impatient.
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"- Albert Einstein
"What's Walmart? Is that where they sell Walls?"- The Plague upon this earth, aka Pussy Hole Hilton
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 24, 2008 - 11:18am.
Mrs. K,
What were you doing on the dork side? lol. typo but keeping it.
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I've got a serious drama addiction.
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Plus if your partner shave too you can oil your asses up and play slip and slide with your wang and your connie chung hole.
hahahaha okie, you and me babe, were two peas in a pod..
(i asked eariler about meds for toof times)
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by thlayly5 on July 24, 2008 - 11:17am.
I
Meanwhile, why would the JJers assume that in vitro means no sex?
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Because they are fucking MORONS!!!!!!!
Ahem, excuse my outburst,
Sorry.
Won't happen again.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Plus if your partner shave too you can oil your asses up and play slip and slide with your wang and your connie chung hole.
Submitted by thlayly5
I have been pushing this theory for months.
When they separate, Brad will scamper back to Jennifer with the three biologicals! Angie gets to keep the adoptees and it is a win-win!
Plus Jennifer doesn't get the mothers hips and retains her Prefect figure!
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Deb, is that your devious plan? lmao
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Long distance, don't talk about ex-girlfriends; don't talk about you without me, don't talk about the past
-No Doubt "In My Head"