You Don't Say?
In their latest issue, UsWeekly shouts from the mountain tops that Saint Angelina conceived through in vitro. You mean to tell me that she didn't conceive by simply touching her womb with her holy hand?! I don't believe it!
A source told the magazine that Brad and Angie were desperate for more kids so they tried fertility treatments. Some doctor who didn't treat Brangie said, "The chance of having fraternal twins at Angelina's age (33) naturally is under 1 percent; with in vitro, the chances are 25 percent. We live in an era of reproductive freedom, so anybody can do anything they want within legal limits."
Angie went with the procedure so she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of trying to get knocked up. The source went on to say, "She could just knock it out. They were too impatient." Just knock it out? I bet you Angie used those same words.
Saint Angie is probably always on fertility drugs. You pop a vitamin C in the morning and she pops a fertility pill. Shit, she's probably pregnant right now....with triplets! The triplets were waiting in the wings while the chosen ones did their thing. In heaven, there's a huge line of babies waiting for their turn. And you thought the iPhone line was long?
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Mrs.Kravitz on July 24, 2008 - 12:34pm
I'm pretty sure The Brad is taking a new job as his own PR hwore now, he fired his long time one.
The way the sentence reads, it's just so epically pompous.
Impatience is not an excuse so let's make it sound political, yea that's what he was thinking.
I'm sure Skeletina threw the Roget's at him until she came out sounding like she did science a favor.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Why are people talking about Angie like she's in her mid 40's? SHE'S STILL YOUNG PEOPLE. Enough of this 'she has a high chance of conceiving twins' shit.
Bradi - go on over.. its HILARIOUS!!
check this out:
DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD - DO NOT DISCUSS or BUY this B.S. RAG: The ONLY way that Jared who is working/partnering with US rag now, can relay how BADLY this very intrusive unsubstantiated unverified story is going over with fans, is to NOT POST HERE on this THREAD. IF I post at all I will be on the last thread. I hope the fans act accordingly and vamoose. I’M DONE w/ THIS THREAD. I hope the fans that frequent JJ are too. I knew this was coming, but boy is it nauseating to see. I can’t believe the JP fans are being treated like this.
CANT BELIVE THE JP FANS ARE BEING TREATED LIKE THIS!!!!! BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!
OH THE HUMANITY!
*sigh*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I still say Angie is either Pete wentz's real mom or she herself is Pete Wentz in drag
FO REAL!______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
LCT.. THat was brilliant!! OMG LMAO!! *splat*
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
Submitted by applehead on July 24, 2008 - 11:26am.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 24, 2008 - 12:20pm.
You're right--I misread. Boy, did you show me up!
Wasn't my intention to show you up...I misread things all the time, and when I realize it, it THEN makes sense to me :-)
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I know, I didn't mean it seriously, was j/k around. Pardon me if my reply ended up coming out bitchy or sarcastic--I got a wisdom tooth pulled two days ago and haven't been able to smoke a ciggie since! Hard times!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 24, 2008 - 12:28pm.
That glue used on the back of stick-on earrings never worked well--imagine having that on the inside of your merkin while wearing a dress in public, and suddenly your hairy fake bush falls to the ground while you're talking to some cute guy at the car wash. That doesn't make for good socialization times.
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You have just portrayed the funniest mental picture in the history of the world.
Sandy: "Hey there big boy, got a date for Friday night?"
Billy: "Yeah I do, and she's standing right in front of me."
*Peeeeeeeeeeeeel*
*Splat*
Billy: ".......... what the hell is.... did your.....?"
Sandy: "Oh, hahah, that's just my uh.... um, hahahaha. When do you want to pick me up?"
*Billy drinking antifreeze*
US Weekly is a JJ partner now.
It's posted at the site so the loonloosers can suck it or fuck it or play patty cake with that.
Crap, now I wanna go over there, I just got my shit stirring stick back from the cleaners.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Missy.. OMG.. Pax time.. that is exactly like a AngiesComingback stalker! WTF..guess he moved on to skinnier scaglier things.
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
@Bradi
The Brad needed to accidentally get a vasectomy.
ha ha i bet one of his wild ass children will accidently give him one int he future.
Maddox may shoot it off for messing with his girl friend ANgie ha ha ha im evil SO WHAT!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on July 24, 2008 - 9:31am.
but just because her cunty ass was "impatient" as stated above, it comes across as selfish
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And this surprises you?
Par for the course, as my golf-lovin' dead mama used to say.
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Plus if your partner shave too you can oil your asses up and play slip and slide with your wang and your connie chung hole.
okie!! *big hug and smooch* miss you girl!! Ill e you in a sec :)
ok read this JJ gem:
"I can’tbelive it jared you posted this mag cheap trash magazine.who always go in its cheap ways when everytime angie have a baby photo to show.Do you rember pax time and their cover out of jealousy of people mag?Angie never have a problem to concieve naturally."
WOW!!!! Its sort of reminiscent of comingback, but more realistic. *shudders* scary!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Ladies, I must say that your merkins look spectacular. Maybe you should loan them to Brad, poor thing obviously can't afford a good piece.
Oh, and not to be nitpicky but shouldn't that Sienna headline read "Men"? Bad editor!
Submitted by Kizzy on July 24, 2008 - 12:21pm.
@LoveCarrotTop--- Oh Mah Gaaawwwwww, WTF is up with those crazyassed bitches? Jennifer Aniston spread this rumor? Why? Why would she even give enough of a shit to start any rumor about them, let alone their babies?? They are just fucktarded over there. Severely.
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Well, OBVIOUSLY, because she's so damn jelly over Brad Pitt leaving her stupid worthless ass and making bebes with AJ that she will do anything and everything to try to slander the sacred Jolie-Pitt name. Come on now. Obviously you need to spend more time over at JJ.
Such bullshit!! That whole "The chance of having fraternal twins at Angelina's age (33) naturally is under 1 percent". bullshizz! ACTUALLY...the chances of a woman kicking out two eggs INCREASES with age. Women in their 30's and 40's have a HIGHER chance of having twins. Thats partly the reason I had twins at age 30(the other part being that my mother's father was a fraternal twin). I can understand that she MIGHT have been having trouble conceiving since she was sooooooooo skinny at the time....MAYBE she used in vitro. That just doesnt sound like her...She would adopt the nearest orphan if that was the case. Either way...i dont really care and this mag is only trying to squeeze a story out of all of this.
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I never met a joint I didnt light!
Actually, it's more common to have fraternal twins the older you are. Not that it matters in this case, Angie isn't on the old side of conceiving.
P.S. In vitro usually involves a multiple pregnancy, if successful. You might end up pregnant with 5 or 6 babies. Then the doctor recommends "selective reduction", i.e. abortion, so you have a better change of carrying at least one or two to term.
Between Angelina and JLo, I wonder how many babies that are allegedly so very precious to them were aborted? Hmmmmmmm. I smell hypocrisy.
"We live in an era of reproductive freedom, so anybody can do anything they want within legal limits."
Does this bother anyone else?
I am all for utilizing science to a certain extent but just because her cunty ass was "impatient" as stated above, it comes across as selfish not a last resort effort.
The Brad needed to accidentally get a vasectomy.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
I want a magazine cover to say that Nicole Kidman just shoved a pillow half way in and half way out of her vagina for 6 months to 'look' the part of pregnant.. And then say that Katie Holmes started the rumor..Oooo juicy!!
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
Submitted by Clarisse on July 24, 2008 - 9:24am.
*pouting*
OK
:(
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Plus if your partner shave too you can oil your asses up and play slip and slide with your wang and your connie chung hole.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 24, 2008 - 11:19am.
Hmmm. I would guess they suggest taht you leave it outside in the rain for cleansing so that eventually it will lose that factory smell and have the scent of a true forest bush.
You know that stuff that they put on the back of stick-on earrings? I bet that's merkin glue.
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That glue used on the back of stick-on earrings never worked well--imagine having that on the inside of your merkin while wearing a dress in public, and suddenly your hairy fake bush falls to the ground while you're talking to some cute guy at the car wash. That doesn't make for good socialization times.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 24, 2008 - 12:20pm.
You're right--I misread. Boy, did you show me up!
Wasn't my intention to show you up...I misread things all the time, and when I realize it, it THEN makes sense to me :-)
These celebs are just ridiculous. I guess one baby wouldn't bring the kind of attention Angelina and JLo were looking for. So they throw money at the situation and voila--twins. So I guess they consider themselves having one-upped those one baby having celebs. Mere mortals!
So when is Katie Holmes gonna pop out triplets? I'm sure Tommy Girl is already considering it. And Katie is considering suicide...
Mrs K.,
Alright young lady, but when i start talkin blow jobs, not a peep!
(btw...like the siggie!)
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What's a 50 year old lollipop man doing knowin fuckin karate??
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 24, 2008 - 10:17am.
Holy mother of (playing)-God!
I don't think it's a big deal to use invitro, but with AJ saying she'd probably never have bio kids, just adopt (which everyone changes their minds on things), it would seem like an awful lot of hoops to go thru to get that "bio" kid/kids, when supposedly adoption is just as good to them...
And again - the thing I care about is up in the corner. WHY, BRITNEY!?!? TELL US WHY!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 24, 2008 -
God that's hot. It looks like my shower drain.
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LMAO...it looks like a piece of hair pie! (Or maybe pube pie.)
Oh I'm sure the Brangeloosers already have their wombs up for rent so their High Holy Skank Queen won't have to deal with the nuisance of being pregnant anymore.
This is not new news, anyone with vision could see the Dumb Cuntess Skeletina was not healthy enough to conceive a poop let alone twins.
MK has been sparse with Skeletina posts lately....
Gee I wonder why? *looks innocent, polishes halo*
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
I'd be willing to bet some IVF doctor out there is handing out treatments to celebrities and telling them to tell all their friends. You know, selective marketing.
@LoveCarrotTop--- Oh Mah Gaaawwwwww, WTF is up with those crazyassed bitches? Jennifer Aniston spread this rumor? Why? Why would she even give enough of a shit to start any rumor about them, let alone their babies?? They are just fucktarded over there. Severely.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by OXA on July 24, 2008 - 12:15pm.
BULLSHIT, HOW DO U ACCOUNT FOR 16 YEAR OLDS HAVING TWINS.
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Um, that fact that they are 16 years old, not 36 or 46...the odds DECREASE with age. Did you hear that? Am I typing LOUD enough? DECREASE WITH AGE!!!
Submitted by applehead on July 24, 2008 - 11:17am.
The comment was less than 1% of having "aternal twins" at that age, not of getting prenant with a single birth...
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You're right--I misread. Boy, did you show me up!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by Clarisse on July 24, 2008 - 9:19am.
*Gasps!!*
Mrs.Kravitz!!!!
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Oh, stop it. I'm old, not dead.
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Most important, stay away from stiff denim — it will flatten your backside like a pancake!
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on July 24, 2008 - 12:17pm.
Submitted by OXA on July 24, 2008 - 5:15pm.
BULLSHIT, HOW DO U ACCOUNT FOR 16 YEAR OLDS HAVING TWINS
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It's HARDER to conicieve twins NATUALLY as you AGE.
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It's also just harder to conceive twins PERIOD. It happens but there is an epidemic folks. I used to be able to go a year without meeting a set of twins and now I can barely go a week without meeting, at least, one set. It's kinda spooky.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by OXA on July 24, 2008 - 12:15pm.
Are you some kind of fucking moron, or what?
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 24, 2008 -
God that's hot. It looks like my shower drain.
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hee hee hee
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Most important, stay away from stiff denim — it will flatten your backside like a pancake!
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 24, 2008 - 12:16pm.
Sweet. One thing I've never considered is how you attach a merkin to your snatch. glue? double-sided tape? velcro? And can you take it off and put it on with ease every time? Is it machine washable, or do you have to get it dry-cleaned?
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Hmmm. I would guess they suggest taht you leave it outside in the rain for cleansing so that eventually it will lose that factory smell and have the scent of a true forest bush.
You know that stuff that they put on the back of stick-on earrings? I bet that's merkin glue.
*Gasps!!*
Mrs.Kravitz!!!!
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What's a 50 year old lollipop man doing knowin fuckin karate??
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 24, 2008 - 5:17pm.
Hahahah those dumbasses over at JJ are actually speculating that Jennifer Aniston spread this rumour.
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oh for christ sake.
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
Submitted by KC Sunshine on July 24, 2008 - 9:13am.
I wonder if they're able to select gender at that stage.
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Apparently, with science and $$$ anything is possible.
http://www.gender-select.com/
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Most important, stay away from stiff denim — it will flatten your backside like a pancake!
oops that should be "faternal"
Well, DUH!
Can we have some real news now?
Did Shauna go out last night, or what?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Hahahah those dumbasses over at JJ are actually speculating that Jennifer Aniston spread this rumour.
How about, it's obvious AJ had in vitro because it's so fucking incredibly unlikely she'd have fraternal twins being the skinny ano bitch she was.
Submitted by OXA on July 24, 2008 - 5:15pm.
BULLSHIT, HOW DO U ACCOUNT FOR 16 YEAR OLDS HAVING TWINS
*
It's HARDER to conicevie twins NATUALLY as you AGE.
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 24, 2008 - 12:05pm.
A less that 1% chance of getting pregnant at 33? That's such bullshit, unless you're talking specifically about the skeletal AJ.
The comment was less than 1% of having "aternal twins" at that age, not of getting prenant with a single birth...
Submitted by OXA on July 24, 2008 - 12:15pm.
BULLSHIT, HOW DO U ACCOUNT FOR 16 YEAR OLDS HAVING TWINS.
I would bang my head against the wall at that comment but maybe you should just bang yours.
WHO YOU IS? OLD YELLER?
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 24, 2008 - 11:10am.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 24, 2008 - 12:07pm.
LOL...LCT--you with the merkins!
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I'm so going to pick up face paint and paint mine as the Irish flag tonight.
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Sweet. One thing I've never considered is how you attach a merkin to your snatch. glue? double-sided tape? velcro? And can you take it off and put it on with ease every time? Is it machine washable, or do you have to get it dry-cleaned?
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
these two bore me now.
they are officially on my list of celebs that bore me that included many of the drunk druggie brits, as well as twit and tawt.
barf.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 24, 2008 - 12:12pm.
I gots a merkin, too!
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God that's hot. It looks like my shower drain.