This Pepaw Really Hates His Lawn Mower
When something in your house breaks, a normal person would kick it or call it a "stupid cunt." Not Keith Walendowski from Milwaukee. When his lawn mower didn't start, he shot the bitch. You know he probably yelled, "Godamn stupid fucking lawn damn fucking mower!" when he shot at it.
One of Keith's lady friends, who lives with him, called the po po and got her old man arrested. What a bitch! He was probably interrupting her favorite "Mama's Family" re-run.
Keith was arrested and charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed. When asked why he shot the lawn mower, he said (read this with a raspy slur) "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want." Pepaw has a point.
Keefs (that's probably what his friends call him because they are all drunks) faces up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.
Keef's lady friend also told the police he was drunk at the time. You fucking think? Just from looking at his mug shot, I can smell the mixture of Early Times whiskey and Pall Malls.
That being said, I wouldn't hit it. Shocking, eh? Okay, I'm lying. I totally would if he shared some of his Early Times with me.
Thanks Carol Ann
• 
When I first saw the pic, I totally thought it was Joe Cocker, Glad it wasnt, I love Joe Cocker.
I have 2 thoughts in this.
1. This is EXACTLY why I don't keep a gun in the house. I am a Boston Iriish girl who can have a wee bit of a temper. I know that I have kicked mower, called my Roomba a c*nt and banged drawers and doors. I am certain that shooting an appliance would not be out of the realm if I had a shotgun handy.
2. But wait a minute. Isn't this America? Can't I shoot whatever I damned well please, i.e. cans, bottles on a fence, clay pigeons as long as I am not putting anyone at risk and am on my own property? And if I want to kick/shoot/yell at/torch anything that I OWN, do I not have that right? I would think that as long as I am not throwing my toaster at someones head that I have the right to vent - No? Am I missing something? Are there no pedophiles and embellzing CEO's to track down any longer?
he cuts his hahhair with the mower. but not anymore. since they parted ways
Poor guy. His lawn mover, his yard and his case of Jack. No need for cuffs and jail.
"I think you know that your more then just some fucked up piece of ass."
George Fuckin Michael.
Jail for shooting his own lawnmower on his own property?
Am I missing something here? Was the lawnmower alive? Did it have a small boy attached to it?
Where in this picture did he hurt anybody?
hold up...this dude really owns a house?
with an actual lawn that even grows grass??
I smell bullshit!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
hot damn, ho, here we go again.
There's umpteen reasons, to not mow the lawn when drunk:
-you could run over something, that flies at you from the rotary. (always check the yard for glass bottles and crap)
-you end up going off the lawn and running over dirt and gravel, which hurts like hell.
-the back and forth flow, is unco-ordinated, and there's strips of grass sticking out.
-you could run over your foot.
Aaahhh... MK, you finally have some news from my fair hometown!
Being as this was only 2 freakin' blocks from my house I'll give you the link to the actual local "breaking" news report about this.
The bit about "voiding the factory warranty" is priceless...
Good ol' Killwaukee!
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=776545
I do believe the felony was for the sawed-off shotgun, also for disorderly conduct/disturbing the peace or something.
This is what we live for here - a neighbor to get wasted and shoot an inanimate object! Maybe next he'll pistol-whip his edger...
Somebody hook this pepaw up with the guy who hates "Grey Poupon"..(and clearly does not have any in his car)... STAT...let em go at each other...
That lawnmower didn't deserve that shit! Somebody report this bugger to the LMAW (Lawnmower Association of the World)
--------------------------------------
There can be only one Rumpie
jussayin, word!! if i was this guy's comb i'd off myself too.
Submitted by Haribo on July 26, 2008 - 9:11pm.
comb!? waht comb!? does he even know what a comb is?!
yeah he probably shot that fucka back in 84...or more likely the comb took one look at him and shot itself. I bet all sorts of equipment gives up on this guy...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
hot damn, ho, here we go again.
That's not Mickey Rourke?
Having dealt with shitty lawn mowers every summer for the past five years, I can't say that I blame him!
I hate my vacuum. I'm gonna make it suck up rat poisoning. DON'T TRY TO STOP ME OR I'LL PUT BOLTS IN THE BLENDER GOTDAMMIT
Hey damn you MK I love Mama's Family!! :P:P
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
he is my favorite . He is seeking someone online now. I saw him at """""""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""" last week. What kind of relationship is he looking for on that site?
When was the last time this gargoyle shaved??
his last name is polish!! awww, i am so proud! ;/
his last name is polish!! awww, i am so proud! ;/
comb!? waht comb!? does he even know what a comb is?!
but he really needs to be mad at his comb and razor and startshooting at them too. they obviously aren't handling business either...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
hot damn, ho, here we go again.
man, next time try to chill! my comp keeps on fucking with me. i should've shot it long ago but i didn't. just chill!
He should have used STA-BIL Fuel Stabilizer -- then his lawnmower would have started ...
Maybe he WAS sleeping with his lawnmower at one point, so his shooting it in a moment of passionate anger could begin to blur the lines of "homicide".
Submitted by Mr. President on July 26, 2008 - 4:53pm.
I hear his home is currently being picketed by PETM, People for the Ethical Treatment of Mowers.
Only after he had the mower stuffed and mounted.
I hear his home is currently being picketed by PETM, People for the Ethical Treatment of Mowers.
**********************
Bye Aubrey. That last TRL appearance was the straw that broke the cameltoe's back. Sadness.
He must go to the same barber as Nick Nolte.
**********************
"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
whats between a man and his mower is his own bizness. :D
mowers are eveeeel!!! ;>
I'm thinking she called the cops on his ass because she was afraid he'd use the gun on HER. I say that 'cause if my man shot the lawnmower out of anger I'd laugh (provided it wasn't a new mower).
Submitted by . on July 26, 2008 - 6:46pm.
LOL! Lock-N-Load! *shhhh* We be huntin' deer. Yep. They might be gentle, innocent, non-confruntin' animals but we gon' shoot 'em in da head anyhows.
**************
Yep with A-K 47s no doubt. Just so that it's really a level playing field.
Dennis the Menace has really gone downhill.
Still adore that cowlick though...
Let's play "How many Teefs in da mouf" my guess is 2.
Submitted by mike on July 26, 2008 - 6:41pm.
This is the typical person who goes to tractor pull contests, cream corn bikini wrasslin' and monster truck rallys.
You forgot votes Republican (and the serial comma)!
LOL! Lock-N-Load! *shhhh* We be huntin' deer. Yep. They might be gentle, innocent, non-confruntin' animals but we gon' shoot 'em in da head anyhows.
Look, it's not like he had sex with it or something.
Lanwmowers can be very effecive weapons if used correctly. My nanna tried to run down her neighbour with the lawn mower. The only problem was that she had to push it uphill and she lost momentum and he got away. Dang!
**************
Submitted by Madam Pince on July 26, 2008 - 3:38pm.
He was doing his Jimi Hendrix imitation: "I gave her the gun ... I shot her!"
Then good thing for everyone that he didn't go for the Monterey Pop climax.
Submitted by . on July 26, 2008 - 5:50pm.
This is the typical person who goes to tractor pull contests, cream corn bikini wrasslin' and monster truck rallys.
You forgot votes Republican (and the serial comma)!
He was doing his Jimi Hendrix imitation: "I gave her the gun ... I shot her!"
***********************************************************
Wilson: "When you care about someone ..."
House: "You LIE to them!"
I say hats off to Keefs! Who hasn't wanted to shoot an inanimate object for not doing what you say?
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on July 26, 2008 - 6:14pm
I love that part of Office Space! Especially when they all start to walk away, but then Michael Bolton goes back for another round.
*********************************************************
Let's all recognize that this is a little awkward situation between friends at the welfare store and let's go our separate ways, okay?
Like the hobo/redneck/blue collar version of Office Space where they abuse and kill the printer while screaming obscenities at it.
PC LOAD LETTER? FUCK YOU!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
If he was from Milwaukee, he was probably drinking PBR or Milwaukee's Best.
My uncle lived in Madison and he would come down to IL to visit a couple times a year making sure to stop at the liquor store in Harvard to fill his trunk up with cases of PBR because the liquor tax was cheaper.
Also, he was probably pretending that mower was Brett Favre's face. You don't mess with the Packers. You just don't do it.
When his lawn mower didn't start, he shot the bitch.
*************************
And your point is...?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
He SHOT his lawn mower?
lmfao!
brilliant!
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
haha, they should let him off it was just a lawnmower. I once read Milwaukee has the most drunk drivers.
Why wasn't his gf arrested for infringing on his rights and wasting police time? This is a fuckin' travesty. Dude is entitled to shoot his own lawnmower. Hell, I have days I want to shoot mine (which is why I choose not to own a gun or know how to use one, but that's a topic for another day).
***********************************************************
Wilson: "When you care about someone ..."
House: "You LIE to them!"
I'm super impressed. I was SO sure this was gonna' be another Texamaniac. *WOOT* Those yankess are catchin' up!
*******************
Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Submitted by rebanndel on July 26, 2008 - 2:47pm.
What kind of country do we live in when a drunk hillbilly can't shoot his dang lawn mower without being slapped with a felony possession?
*saluting* It's a country I wouldn't want to get drunk or cut my grass in.
This is the typical person who goes to tractor pull contests, cream corn bikini wrasslin' and monster truck rallys. Believe me, it's all genetically downhill from there.
What kind of country do we live in when a drunk hillbilly can't shoot his dang lawn mower without being slapped with a felony possession? If I were him, I'd be pissed as hell at his "lady friend" for getting his drunk ass in some serious trouble. Maybe this douche needs a part in a Lawn Mower Man remake.
Just looking at this guy makes me want to take a really hot shower.