Sunday, July 27th 2008
Is That A Question?
This is the cover for Jessica Simpson's first cuntry album. The cover fits Jessica perfectly! It's cheap, boring and underwhelming. Just like her! I would say it looks like fan art, but does this bitch still have fans? This cover is still better than Papa Joe's idea. He probably wanted Jessica sucking on a lollipop while wearing a "Papa Joe's little girl" crop top that barely covered her nipples.
Doesn't the title need a question mark? Wait, I get it. Jessica's dumb face is the question mark.
Source: Sweet Kisses
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If she's going to spend millions on a new album, couldn't she spend a hundred bucks to get her roots retouched?
she is my favorite. Someone told me she is datting a young billlionaire on -""""""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""". What kind of relationship she is looking for on that site? Long-term relationship or just a dating?
Make her go away. I don't care what it takes...
Submitted by Mr. President on July 27, 2008 - 4:09pm.
Submitted by angel_i on July 27, 2008 - 4:05pm.
She could turn any girl gayelle, that's for sure.
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Well, heheh, I'm kinda sorta half way there already;)
But thank you so for turning me on to this young firecracker. I hope the world doesn't eat her up.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by angel_i on July 27, 2008 - 4:05pm.
She could turn any girl gayelle, that's for sure.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on July 27, 2008 - 2:53pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on July 27, 2008 - 2:45pm.
Thanks for the sentiment. The new chick is Hayley Williams of Paramore. Sweet AND talented.
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And Ooooh. Ahhh... I forgot to mention that I found her. Wow, Mr. Pres. You rock. Like a WHOLE LOT:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6i5X74Utpg&feature=related
She's, like, seriously giving me some chills over here.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Where's Triumph the Insult Comic Dog when you really need him to poop on something?!?!
After today's post, I realize that she looks way more manly than Marilyn ever did.
"Jessica actually has many heartfelt fans."
Well we know she's got the Texan Teenage Tranny constituent in the bag. She has for years. They covet her natural femininity and God-given blonde tresses. They're the ones buying her clothing line so they can dance around in those outfits to her music. All 48 of them showed up for the 8-theatre opening of "Blonde Ambition" and then were loyal enough to each purchase 3 copies of the DVD. Andy Dick bought 5!
Submitted by joe shmoe on July 27, 2008 - 2:45pm.
Thanks for the sentiment. The new chick is Hayley Williams of Paramore. Sweet AND talented.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Paige123 on July 27, 2008 - 12:44pm.
Jessica has the vacant stare down so well.
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O that's natural. It's her "talent".
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by Mr. President on July 27, 2008 - 2:43pm.
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Oh no! *trying not to laugh*..Mr President, really she and her umm various parts were not worthy of you. SO who's this new chica? Care to introduce her?
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
Submitted by joe shmoe on July 27, 2008 - 2:39pm.
Sadly, Aubrey and I have broken up. Too much parading around in tranny outfits. When she asked me to "tuck her in for the night" I had no idea that she meant it in quite that way.
Thanks for asking.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on July 27, 2008 - 2:21pm.
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Mr President! Did you and Aubrey break up?
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
Submitted by joe shmoe on July 27, 2008 - 2:16pm.
Why is there no question mark after "Do you know"..enquiring minds want to know..
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They don't bother putting a question mark because they know Jessica wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer, anyway.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Why is there no question mark after "Do you know"..enquiring minds want to know..
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
Oh, damn - I read through that too fast & thought for a moment that M.K. wrote Fart instead of Fan Art. Which would've been totally appropriate - it looks like a fart.
Eventually someone will say to her, "Do YOU know?" And she'll give em a blank look and say, "Huh?" You'll have to explain it to her. I live out here in the sticks & ppl know she's not country. She's dismissed.
Papa Joe tries way too hard to deep throat the public with this bitch.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Do you know I'm really a man? Tony loves my big peen.
now that you mention it..
There IS something really fucked up looking about the way she is sitting ! her knees looked tucked up way higher than they ought to be. How would she sit like that ??
I understand the Photoshop bit, but I don't understand why it's Photoshopped.
weird pic
Does this chick realize that all people really want to see are her boobs?
Submitted by mike on July 27, 2008 - 6:56pm.
Almost invariably, boring person = boring lay.
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Ain't that the truth.
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"When your balls are free, you will find inner peace." - Utilikilts
Jessica and Ceiling Eyes Patridge should have a vacant stare contest. That would be pay-per-view gold.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I hate this bitch, but part of me feels embarrassed for her. She was booed at a cuntry concert recently which leads me to believe that her album won't sell.
I mean, she's what...28 now? This album cover looks like something a 15 year-old Gospel singer should use. Ughhh, she's such a jackass. Please go away.
I like her b/c she's really trying but that pout makes me want to smack her..close your fucking mouth already
Well, she started in Christian pop but failed there. So Daddy thought she could give Christina and Gwen a run for their money, and she failed there too. Now that she has Carrie Underwood's ex b/f, Pervy Papa thought surely she could also take the country world by storm. Uh, hello Joe. We've got this figured out. It's spelled N-o
t-a-l-e-n-t.
And I think she's too far gone to go back to Christian music.
She's a 2nd rate everyone, even Pam Anderson.
The vacant stare is not purposely used: her head is vacant of any cogent or cognitive thoughts.
SHE is pathetic.
Submitted by Jadedkitten on July 27, 2008 - 12:36pm.
haha wow somebody better release that sex tape soon
Even if it happens, it's liably to be pretty dull. Almost invariably, boring person = boring lay.
Jessica has the vacant stare down so well.
Took her and Papa Joe long enough to figure, country music fans don't have much taste. They'll make anyone a star.
Submitted by Sandbitch on July 27, 2008 - 12:40pm.
@KaosAndMe
ROFLMTO - Good spotting - they've photoshopped Jess a fractured leg!
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LOL! That's too funny.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by Perezs Fired Stylist on July 27, 2008 - 9:37am.
Her last album cover was stunning and this one is really pretty too. What's the big deal?
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she is annoying and talentless, so she deserves to be shredded....that's all.
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I love you is all that you can't say; years gone by and still.... words don't come easily- like I love you, I love you....
- Tracy Chapman "Baby Can I Hold You"
@KaosAndMe
ROFLMTO - Good spotting - they've photoshopped Jess a fractured leg!
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stack the fridge & stoke the bong
we're staying home tonite
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ekc-4V0MXv8
Her last album cover was stunning and this one is really pretty too. What's the big deal?
haha wow somebody better release that sex tape soon
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that
Sheeps, well at least she has an intelligent fan base....
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I love you is all that you can't say; years gone by and still.... words don't come easily- like I love you, I love you....
- Tracy Chapman "Baby Can I Hold You"
Why do her boots look deformed?
Boots..not boobs!
Where her hand is, on her leg, her ugly-ass-I'm-so-country-boots do not match up in proper alignment..
photoshop boots..now that is as pathetic as her "career"
Jessica actually has many heartfelt fans. Here's a representative comment: "Please do not let any of the negative comments or bad Press get you down. They are only jelouse. It is a known human trait that People who get ahead in Life and make their Dreams come true are generally the target of jelouse People. I know that Brittney Spears has been given a hard time and my heart goes out to her. It goes out to you too."
jessicasimpson.com/news/do-you-know-album-cover
Submitted by mike on July 27, 2008 - 6:25pm.
That is a nice font. The "y" in "you" is a bit much, though
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Agreed. Too cutesy.
I'm a sucker for a good font.
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"When your balls are free, you will find inner peace." - Utilikilts
Submitted by Migraineuse on July 27, 2008 - 12:10pm.
What a waste of a perfectly cute font.
That is a nice font. The "y" in "you" is a bit much, though.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on July 27, 2008 - 11:09am.
The Dixie Chicks, Shania, and any other current RELEVANT country music star has nothing to worry about.
For her next act?
Christian pop.
The name of the album?
'Titties at the Pulpit'.
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AAAHAA! I would say that 'Heaux Confessionals' would be much better, but bitch couldn't begin to spell the first word.
Sheeps, I 'd LOVE to whack all the Simpsons in the head with a hammer!
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I love you is all that you can't say; years gone by and still.... words don't come easily- like I love you, I love you....
- Tracy Chapman "Baby Can I Hold You"
Submitted by mike on July 27, 2008 - 12:17pm.
Isn't she a bit old for that "fawn in headlights" look she's using?
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I suspect she'll be fawning in headlights well into her Depends years.
Submitted by . on July 27, 2008 - 5:38pm.
Submitted by Sheeps on July 27, 2008 - 11:35am.
Prairie Dogging makes me think of Whack-a-Mole and I just don't feel like going there.
Of course, *I* went there and now all I can picture is someone with a rubber mallet whacking a turd back in...oh you know. Gross. Bleh. *shake it off*
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It's little gems like this that make me love Dlisted.
(Really! Not being sarcastic!)
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"When your balls are free, you will find inner peace." - Utilikilts
The title should be "Do you know that this album will suck, for sure?"
Isn't she a bit old for that "fawn in headlights" look she's using?
Mr Pres that was so funny!
Jessica is so blonde, I'll bet she trips over her cordless phone.
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"When it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just don’t listen to anything they have to say; pay attention to what they do.” - Randy Pausch
looking at that donkey face for 5 minutes = 20 dead brain cells
Jessica OBVIOUSLY came up with this album cover.
It's so artistic and beautiful you can tell she really worked hard on it.
Submitted by angel_i on July 27, 2008 - 11:56am.
The only thing that could ever reach me
was the pee of a preacher man
The only thing that could ever teach me
was the pee of a preacher man!
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At the same time...he's yelling in that southern hick accent..."Cum for Christ! Yeah, baby..Cum for Christ!"
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~