Sunday, July 27th 2008
Is That A Question?
This is the cover for Jessica Simpson's first cuntry album. The cover fits Jessica perfectly! It's cheap, boring and underwhelming. Just like her! I would say it looks like fan art, but does this bitch still have fans? This cover is still better than Papa Joe's idea. He probably wanted Jessica sucking on a lollipop while wearing a "Papa Joe's little girl" crop top that barely covered her nipples.
Doesn't the title need a question mark? Wait, I get it. Jessica's dumb face is the question mark.
Source: Sweet Kisses
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What a waste of a perfectly cute font.
Submitted by Sheeps on July 27, 2008 - 12:00pm.
Submitted by angel_i on July 27, 2008 - 8:56am.
Have you seen that vid of her trying to fake an orgasm? I'm not sure she could fake being tortured, though I agree it's an appealing visual.
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Good point. They could, maybe, torture her for real...maybe that's too much for the sake of art...but...
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
This should be a PSA billboard.
" Do you know...you need an edumahcashun?"
Someone really strained a brain cell designing that cover.
Think dumb.
Buy dumb.
Submitted by Mr. President on July 27, 2008 - 8:57am.
Whenever I see Jessica Simpson I think of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3UGhRjPry4
That's brilliant.
Submitted by angel_i on July 27, 2008 - 8:56am.
Have you seen that vid of her trying to fake an orgasm? I'm not sure she could fake being tortured, though I agree it's an appealing visual.
Whenever I see Jessica Simpson I think of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3UGhRjPry4
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
The only thing that could ever reach me
was the pee of a preacher man
The only thing that could ever teach me
was the pee of a preacher man!
OFFT: I just finished watching all the SAW movies. (what?!? my kid went to church!) and they're damn good. Also, I don't watch the gory parts, I just listen to the screaming. Hey, Jessica should be in SAW. They could make her a focal point and he can torture her throughout. That would make them even better!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Dear Jessica:
Stop trippin'!
Look at your store-bought titties!
Look at your agape mouth!
Porn is your true calling.
It's the natural HOgression!
And Papa Joe can even direct. Or is that co-star?
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by . on July 27, 2008 - 11:41am.
Holy golden showers, Batman!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LMAO!
Christian pop song title:
"Golden Showers for the Good Lord"
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
hasn't she taken this exact picture about 1000 times...?
BORING.
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"When it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just don’t listen to anything they have to say; pay attention to what they do.” - Randy Pausch
Submitted by Green Is Good on July 27, 2008 - 11:43am.
the name of her next Christian pop hit?
"Peeing on the Preacher Man*
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Then we got ourselves a cuntry hit! Edit title:
*While Breaking my Heart - the Preacher Man Done Peed on Me"
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on July 27, 2008 - 10:39am.
the name of her next Christian pop hit?
"Peeing on the Preacher Man*
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Socky, It's Chestica that'll be getting the golden showers. She needs the money.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on July 27, 2008 - 11:39am.
Holy golden showers, Batman!
Do you know...
the name of her next Christian pop hit?
"Peeing on the Preacher Man*
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Sheeps on July 27, 2008 - 11:35am.
Prairie Dogging makes me think of Whack-a-Mole and I just don't feel like going there.
Of course, *I* went there and now all I can picture is someone with a rubber mallet whacking a turd back in...oh you know. Gross. Bleh. *shake it off*
You guys are terrible. 0;p
Submitted by angel_i on July 27, 2008 - 8:23am.
Prairie Dogging makes me think of Whack-a-Mole and I just don't feel like going there.
Do you know..
that Papa Joe will now photoshop his pic with him sitting next to Chestica with his hand on her Double-Ds?
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Vacant Shabby Chic now on sale at Wallmart...
Bwha ha ha ha! The South Park Episode: Christian Rock Band featuring "Faith +1":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5btRmGiYi6Q&feature=related
Perfect song for Chestica: "I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus".
Next Christan pop hit:
"Touch me down there Jesus, like my Daddy does."
Submitted by angel_i on July 27, 2008 - 11:23am.
There's a name for that. O yeah! Prairie Dogging!
THAT could be the name of the next album.
lmao! I have a new, favorite phrase now! I can't wait to use it (seriously)! hehehehe!
Submitted by Green Is Good on July 27, 2008 - 11:21am.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Title of her next christian pop album...
"Collecting Jizz for Jesus*
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by . on July 27, 2008 - 10:46am.
Submitted by Sheeps on July 27, 2008 - 10:45am.
Jessica Simpson: Do you know, umm, where your career went?
What, Sheeps? You've never had a turd that retracted back in your ass before? 'p
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There's a name for that. O yeah! Prairie Dogging!
THAT could be the name of the next album.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Do you know....I SUCK!
================================================
"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
================================================
Do you know....
Someone else put those boots on the correct feet cause bitch can't do that on her own?
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by TheBreakdown on July 27, 2008 - 10:09am.
For her next act?
Christian pop.
The name of the album?
'Titties at the Pulpit'.
____________________________________________________
Ha ha ha!
Her next Christian pop hit: "Shakin' my moneymaker for the Lord."
To really resuscutate her career that never was, in my opinion, she needs to marry another boy band singer and film a reality show.
Lance Bass is into glory holes, and she is a walking glory hole.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
I actually heard her country shit on the radio yesterday. You wouldn't guess it's Jessica Simpson except for a few parts where her voice gets really annoying. Her singing isn't country at all. However, I'm not a country fan and the song was actually better than some of the other shit I heard. I casually enjoy some old school country, but whatever is out now definitely stole more than a few of my braincells while listening to it. I can't imagine the person who would "love" the song I heard about a hick who's dying to buy a used Mercury vehicle to win over the town whore.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
Looks like someone needs to be taught the prune trick. Bitch looks vacant, not sexy.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on July 27, 2008 - 11:09am.
"For her next act?
Christian pop"
......................................
Which is very hard not to make a buck out of that, but what non-porn venue she has after that fails? kiddie music? Dancing with the Stars? Celebrity the Apprentice? *gasp* the View?
Why ?????
would have been a better album title.
Doesn't this ho EVER close her mouth??
********
I love twinks! ;)
They should have a special Country edition of Celebrity Jeopardy with her, Taylor Swift and Kellie Pickler. They would probably finish the night with a negative amount greater than the national debt of Greece.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by TheBreakdown on July 27, 2008 - 11:09am.
For her next act?
Christian pop.
The name of the album?
'Titties at the Pulpit'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
*spews morning brunch Mimosa* LMAO!! Hysterical!
You know Papa Joe will be adjusting those puppies so they sit juuuuuuuuust right on that pulpit before the pic is taken for her album cover.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
The Dixie Chicks, Shania, and any other current RELEVANT country music star has nothing to worry about.
For her next act?
Christian pop.
The name of the album?
'Titties at the Pulpit'.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
My English teacher in school once told me that "people cannot look stupid, they only do stupid thing that give that impression."
I should email him this picture.
sweetie think's it reads "Do you now."
she is my favorite. I love her. I saw her profile on millionaire dating site """""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""" yesterday. It is said she is in relationship with a young handsome guy on that site now. Is she single again?
RuPaul used to be so attractive before he went the Michael Jackson route and overdid it with the skin whiteners.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Cum Bucket would of been a better title, that i do know.Robertoooo
Maybe when this piece of shit tune BOMBS, Chestica will finally figure out nobody cares about her "music".
On the upside, her giant beaver maw is closed, for once.
There is something to be said for being stupid, peeps, in that people do not expect much from a "stupid" person...
Methinks Jessucka's career is on a downward spiral.
Something nice? At least her mouth isn't wide open like a banana inauguration at a Bill Clinton B-day party.
Does she EVER close her mouth? I HATE when people take pictures like that.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
Tranny tranny, bo-banny
Fee-fi-foe fanny
Mee-mi-moe manny
TRANNY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
They finally glued her hands together to keep her legs from being splayed across that bench. That comes natural.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Sheeps on July 27, 2008 - 10:45am.
Jessica Simpson: Do you know, umm, where your career went?
What, Sheeps? You've never had a turd that retracted back in your ass before? 'p
That raises the question: How many blonde country music bimbettes does it take to screw in a light bulb? There's obviously no light bulb on in that pic.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Jessica Simpson: Do you know, umm, where your career went?