Godfather Bono
Saint Angelina and her eternal slave boy, Brad Pitt, have apparently chosen Bono to be the godfather of their twin messiahs. After the the golden twins entered the world, Brangelina spent the week at Bono's place in the South of France. That's where they asked him to be the godfather and he immediately accepted. Please, Saint Angelina didn't ask. She gave him a cunty look and he somehow knew exactly what she meant. Bono then immediately got on his knees and bowed before the messiahs. He vowed to serve them for the rest of his life.
A source told The Mirror, "They have been friends for years. Brad is a massive U2 fan and told Bono how much he admired him when they were introduced at a party a few years back. Since then, they've become very close, which Brad is thrilled about. Angelina is inspired by Bono's humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson. Ali's given Angelina some clothes from her ethical clothing range Edun."
Angie Jo wants to ask Jenny Shimizu to be her twins' godmother, but Brad hasn't agreed yet. Jenny Shimizu?! The source got it all wrong. Angie probably wants to ask Jenny ANISTON, but only to fuck with her some more. Angie is going to make Maddox call Jenny and say, "Holla J-Ass. It's moi. Guess what? It's your lucky day. My beloved mommy wants you to be the chosen twins godmother. It's going to be a theme ceremony. The theme is....GOT YOU AGAIN, BITCH! Blehehehehe!"
And I refuse to believe Bono is going to be the twin messiahs' godfather. GOD himself is going to be their godfather. Duh.
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And how the fuck does "globe trotting" interfere with knocking up a bitch. Stick your pencil Pitt Dick in the Venus career trap and unload thy load. In vitro what a homo Pitt is. Maybe George Clooney's poopie solidified in Brad's pee pee hole and damed his manhood. Robertoooo
Submitted by zomay on July 27, 2008 - 3:04pm.
Lets all start singing 'We are the World, we are the children, we are the ones who make a better place, so lets start giving.'
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that shit's been going on since when? since preschool and Africa is still a mess....sigh...love it how these maniacal assholes hop on a bandwagon like saving the people in Darfur, but when they realize they'll have to go up against Sudan and China -- assholes who will call their bluff and shoot their asses -- they back out and all they do is whing about the U.S. government who really can't do jack shit directly in that region.
Pete Doherty.
Submitted by joe shmoe on July 27, 2008 - 3:45pm.
I think it just SEEMS like she's out in the public eye 24/7 when in fact she is not.
We have had this discussion about heroin before on dlisted and several people have said that they were users and employed, with families, etc., etc.
Fully functional. It sounds bizarre to me but apparently it can be done.
I dunno.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered
What's been going on
Now that you have gone
Bono probably got known on his knees and begged to be the Golden Ones' godfather. He needs to tap into their Goldeness in order to continue his egocentric battle to save the world.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Rename Africa Bonofrica after their lord and savior. What happened to freeing Tibet?? Stupid celebs. Funny how Pitt and Jolie are in the most vapid movies out there. Young, Dumb and Full of Cum has more depth than Wanted and Oceans 49 put together!!! (honorable mention to "Swallow the Yellow Thick Load")Robertoooo
Submitted by Mr. President on July 27, 2008 - 6:43pm.
Bono spends half his time demanding that western governments throw more tax money at the Third World and the other half finding ways to evade those taxes.
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yep, much like Brad Pitt asks us do donate to pay HIM (ahem, his foundation) to build solar houses that are going to flood anyway because of where he chose to build them in NOLA.
they give ammunition to neo-cons with their asswipe ways
Submitted by Mr. President on July 27, 2008 - 6:43pm.
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You are *so* right.
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
joe, I'm with you....yes, there are functioning addicts, but we haven't heard anything about Angie nodding off during interviews, etc..I know she did that stuff years ago, but I just don't know about now....
That spammer was pitiful. It didn't make any sense.
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You took the words right out of my mouth
It must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
Oh I swear it's true I was just about to say "I love you"
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 27, 2008 - 6:42pm
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Mrs K..true..and a bunch of other literary figures too - but they weren't out in the public eye 24/7 and raising a young family; likely they were holed up in their messy apartments snoozing over their typewriters in an opium daze...don't you think?
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
Bono spends half his time demanding that western governments throw more tax money at the Third World and the other half finding ways to evade those taxes.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 27, 2008 - 6:19pm.
Being a Pitt fan I would like this not to be true. Look at his face. He has been looking shelled shocked. He is Pittiful. Bono will show them how to hide the "charity money" Look at her, she was a walking pregnant skeleton. They finally outskanked Paris Hilton. I still think her Daddy pulls lots of strings for her.
Submitted by joe shmoe on July 27, 2008 - 3:40pm.
.but then I guess there are *functioning addicts* (??)Not sure.
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William S Burroughs
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered
What's been going on
Now that you have gone
BARF ....a sickening trifecta.
Submitted by Mr. President on July 27, 2008 - 3:38pm.
"Than I." KIDDING.
Submitted by Mr. President on July 27, 2008 - 3:05pm.
I don't know about that, but Brad Pitt wakes up to find a trout face next to him in his bed every morning.
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HAHAHA Brad Pitt sleeps with the fishes.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered
What's been going on
Now that you have gone
Submitted by Hekki on July 27, 2008 - 6:31pm
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I don't know what to think about her and heroin. Two people very close to me have kicked it successfully, but it was hell on earth to get through that and both have been clean for 10 + years. When they were using it was painfully obvious. There's no way they could have conducted interviews, traveled, raised kids, etc...but then I guess there are *functioning addicts* (??)Not sure.
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
Don't scare Abraham away Sheeps, I need at least one person on Dlisted with worse spelling and grammar than me. It helps my shaky self-esteem.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by sonne on July 27, 2008 - 4:45pm.
I liked U-2 until Bono started to open his mouth and make speeches, around the album with the song about MLK. God, he's annoying. If he'd shut up, I might still have respect for him.
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Yep.
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on July 27, 2008 - 5:49pm.
The only move more pretentious would be to have Nelson Mandela or Barrack Obama as godfather.
Barf.
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Well, actually, i think the most pretentious move would have been to ask AL PACINO (you know, the real living GodFather, since Genius Brando is unfortunately dead).
THE godfather as YOUR godfather. How cool ? :p
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France, c'mon girl, don't be an invader hater
Submitted by Sheeps on July 27, 2008 - 6:35pm.
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*snort* Be nice, hahaha
"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
Submitted by Abraham on July 27, 2008 - 3:31pm.
Congrtulatios to Angelina and Brad! He can't wait to date new girl when his wife prepares to get birth to twins.
Wait a minute here. What are your sources and who taught you grammar?
Congrtulatios to Angelina and Brad! But just saw Brad's personals ID on millionaires personals site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""""" yesterday. It seems he can't wait to date new girl when his wife prepares to get birth to twins.
Are there any nice, decent, humble celebs out there? Are there any nice people anywhere at "the top"? It's discouraging to think that you have to be an asshole to get anywhere in life, but after 37 years on this planet, that's my conclusion.
And I DO believe the heroin rumors. It's a horrible addiction, and I don't think many people can kick it permanently. Especially when they have almost unlimited money and the mental issues Angelina has. I do know one person who has kicked it, but he has a strong family background and a new baby and an ass-kickingly awesome wife. I don't know that Angelina has those advantages. She doesn't seem very grounded or stable.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 27, 2008 - 6:19pm.
I don't think Brad would have gone through with adopting Pax and getting Angie pregnant again, if she wasn't healthy enough to do it...
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I get what you're saying, but to me, Brad seems like the type of guy who would think that his beloved would stop all the unhealthy habits for the baby-- for good. He just seems kind of naive to me.
♥Hana hou, big boy!♥
Submitted by Keane on July 27, 2008 - 6:09pm.
Off topic but I would say more interestingly, have you guys heard the rumours about Angelina's current heroin use. Its apparently the reason she got so thin, has had numerous health scares, looks so spaced out all the time and has had to go overboard on the plastic surgery to keep her face together. I was surprised at first but then thought its actuall much more common amongst celebs than we think and she admitted doing it before when she was having a hard time so it kind of fits since she has just lost her mother. Apparently they are terrified it will get out as it would destroy their golden couple, earth parents image.
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Very interesting. I'm more into that story than knowing who the godparents to the golden twins are going to be. This story is BLAH.
♥Hana hou, big boy!♥
keane, I have heard the rumors, but I am not really sure if I believe it....I don't think Brad would have gone through with adopting Pax and getting Angie pregnant again, if she wasn't healthy enough to do it...something just doesn't sit right with that rumor for me. I could be being idealistic here, because I do know that Heroin use has been on the rise for celebs for the past few years......ah, i don't know....
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You took the words right out of my mouth
It must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
Oh I swear it's true I was just about to say "I love you"
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 27, 2008 - 10:56pm.
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Thank you, he sickens me to! Honestly, my blood boils when I read fawning articles about this disgusting man.
Bono is a prick. Mariane Pearl is a fake. Angie is a heroin addict. Brad is a patsy. Those kids are fucked.
Lolrus. Her face looks semi-retarded in that pic.
Mariane Peral is a saint why? cause her husband was killed? Sad, but not saintworthy. And she personally was complete shit as a journalist, just Angie's type.
Off topic but I would say more interestingly, have you guys heard the rumours about Angelina's current heroin use. Its apparently the reason she got so thin, has had numerous health scares, looks so spaced out all the time and has had to go overboard on the plastic surgery to keep her face together. I was surprised at first but then thought its actuall much more common amongst celebs than we think and she admitted doing it before when she was having a hard time so it kind of fits since she has just lost her mother. Apparently they are terrified it will get out as it would destroy their golden couple, earth parents image. Anyone know any media-friendly heroin dealers? Maybe we can get someone to do a story - wouldn't their downfall be delicious! And to the Irish poster who said everyone in Ireland thinks Bono is a cunt, I've heard the exact same thing - its pretty well known in the Britsh isles.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 27, 2008 - 5:55pm.
I wonder how long before Bono wakes up to find a horse's head in his bed?
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I don't know about that, but Brad Pitt wakes up to find a trout face next to him in his bed every morning.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by cartimandua on July 27, 2008 - 2:53pm.
Well said. I remember how cool U2 sounded when they first showed up. I guess it's a pretty common course for artists to get fat and self-indulgent when they find success.
bobbledunk, that is disgusting......I am sickened by that story....what a prick.
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Flutter girl, you don't want to know what I live; you don't want to take what I give- cause I give nothing for free.....
- Chris Cornell "Flutter Girl"
Submitted by Mr. President on July 27, 2008 - 2:36pm.
Angelina is the real Godfather here. She made him an offer he couldn't refuse.
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I wonder how long before Bono wakes up to find a horse's head in his bed?
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I know your image of me is what I hope to be
I've treated you unkindly but darlin' can't you see, There's no one more important to me
Darlin' can't you please see through me
This just makes me ill.
I used to love U2, actually thought I personally discovered them when I bought "Boy" and "October" in 1981. I couldn't believe people weren't falling all over themselves to grab those albums. By the time "War" came along, they were. Then there was U2 at Red Rocks which made MTV actually worth watching. All was good until the funny sunglasses, and the first hints of douchebaggery started to show.
I've always suspected Brad Pitt wanted to BE Bono...anyone but the saggy, middle-aged, Middle-American ex-frat rat that he is, I suppose. The idea that these two actually hang together is just nauseating. I can just picture them all sitting around sipping snooty French wine and feeding each other ego sandwiches while enjoying the view of the Riviera.
Oh well....I suppose the two frauds deserve each other. But I still mourn the old relevant, cutting edge, U2. And damn Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for putting that final nail in their coffin. Damn them both.
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"My job is to make sure you do your job, so my jurisdiction's pretty much in your face." - ????
Submitted by bobbledunk on July 27, 2008 - 5:50pm.
I live in Ireland, I don't know anybody personally who does not despise this hypocritical, meglomaniac little pygmy...
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Very interesting read.
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
Submitted by trilbynhiss on July 27, 2008 - 2:57pm.
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Not necessarily - I'm not Catholic and I have godparents.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
I live in Ireland, I don't know anybody personally who does not despise this hypocritical, meglomaniac little pygmy.
This is a multi millionaire who evades his taxes while demanding our government (and other peoples) waste my tax money on funding third world dictators and financing their wars (you really think any of it goes to the people - stupid! Google Somalia and see how Western aid money has funded an Ethopian invasion killing thousands and displacing hundreds of thousands. No celebutards will pose there, people may actually cop that we are paying for this - in the name of 'saving Africa').
He is not a humanitarian.
It is corporations which he has millions worth of shares in which benefits from both aid and the right to rape African resources under puppet dictatorships.
He is just making money for himself and other superrich people. He is all about ego. He has a horrible reputation as a nasty, vile, tyrant to his staff.
My cousin had a part time job in a restaurant (she was a student at the time)when he came in with his wife and some friends. She said they were the most obnoxious people (particularly him) she ever met. Several members of his group were making 'chinky chink' jokes towards the Chinese waitress, reducing her to tears.
When Andrea told them to stop being so abusive and racist toward the poor girl, she was fired - under Bono's orders.
The management had to give her 8000 euros though, because she threatened to sue and go to the papers.
The only move more pretentious would be to have Nelson Mandela or Barrack Obama as godfather.
Barf.
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
Angelina is the real Godfather here. She made him an offer he couldn't refuse.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
This is going to be Megan Fox in ten years.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Angie and the master plan:
out of her steeltrap thundercat comes two hot checks, ready to donate millions to a cause that *surprise* Bono is supporting.
From her twat straight to the bank..and a dent in the debt is made.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Marianne Pearl would be a fitting godparent. She had an affair a few years ago with some married tv exec. who left his wife of over 20 years for her. I believe they split shortly afterwards. Google it if you want more info. It didn't get a lot of press because god forbid Marianne Pearl be seen as something less than a living saint.
Lizzieb:
I request permission to say "trinity of cuntiness" all day long. I have two cats and a dog, and they're all being bitches today, so I think it will come in handy! :)
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If you don't leave so I can spend some quality time with my man, next I'll show you my pooter.
Sometimes I think it's hilarious how dramatic the press is making all of this out to be, sometimes I think that it is downright creepy.
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?
Submitted by Green Is Good on July 27, 2008 - 1:45pm.
Edun sounds like Patagonia, which boasts that it donates 10% of its income to environmental causes. Of course, the garments are so friggin expensive that customers would be able to donate more themselves if Patagonia just made the prices more reasonable.
God I used to LOVE U2 -- then Autchung Baby and Zooropa came out and that damn LEMON song -- plus he started talking about his views about everything and wearing those damn sunglasses. Even my love for the Edge was gone.
This mess does not help him or U2 in my eyes.
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Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
Publicity stunt? Why the hell would these rich bitches need godparents in the first place? Yeah, I'm sure Bono will step right in after one of Maddox's flying lessons ends in a fiery crash. Whatevs...
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If you don't leave so I can spend some quality time with my man, next I'll show you my pooter.