In His Dreams
During a show in Mountain View, CA, last night, John Mayer told the audience about a dream he had. In his dream, he made out with a chick who wasn't his girlfriend. A bitch who was at his show told E!, "He was talking about 'dream cheating. He apparently made out with some chick in his dreams. He had to do his penance to his girlfriend by singing 'Dreaming with a Broken Heart.'"
Jennifer Aniston probably flipped her chin when she found out about his dream. She cornered him and screamed, "You cheater! How dare you!?" John had to explain to her it was only a dream. She didn't care, "I thought you were different. But you're not! Who was the tramp?! WHO?! Let me fucking guess. Her first name stars with an A and ends with an N." John responded, "You mean ends with an A?" That's when Jenny made him shave off all his hair off. She used it to make a potion to ward off the cheating spirits.
Here's John making "diarrhea faces" while playing Irvine, CA the other night. I miss his 80s mop.
Wenn
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Submitted by RealiTeeBites on July 28, 2008 - 4:39pm
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Hahahahaha! Thinking the same thing. Imagine looking up (or down) at that *pivotal* moment and seeing that? Eeeeeee!
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
My husband is getting me one now, ME, JELLY?????????
Seee... Here at Dlisted we are not all uncouth despite what the angels (rolls eyes) over at Jared like to think. most of the time we rip the celebs to shreds unanimously (depending on the celeb). sometimes not so much. i have a crush on my johnny, so i spoke up for him. I'm sure some of u have unpopular guilty pleasures or are u all too cool for school
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love me some Mayer....so what!!! its complicated
mishma...heehee....that movie is so fucking great!
"K-K-K-K-Ken"....
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Every thing of beauty that you see only brings a tear when you miss somebody....
- Chris Cornell "Wave Goodbye"
if that's john's "o" face, that would make me cry. why did this fucktard feel that he had to share his dreams with people? i bet they had to medicate jen a. dreams are best left unspoken...or told to your therapist, if you need one.
*scratches ass*
*looks around*
*ears perk up*
Did I hear Gyro?????
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 28, 2008 - 1:25pm.
mishma, since you smelled your armpit, I had to throw in some "A Fish Called Wanda"......I guess it went over your head......oh well!
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I said a gyro! NOT fish! Now I am IA™. OOOOOO
LOL I haven't seen that movie in years! Good one!
I agree mike! the Madden Brothers have the title!
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Every thing of beauty that you see only brings a tear when you miss somebody....
- Chris Cornell "Wave Goodbye"
PRETZERLS MAKE YOU THIRSTY MISSY!
IM ANGRY! hate petzerls! HATE JOHN JOHNSON!
*sharpens stick*
Submitted by missy on July 28, 2008 - 3:26pm.
GEORGE IS GETTIN ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by FuckingLoveAngelina on July 28, 2008 - 4:25pm.
his voice make my butt cry!
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Save your butt tears and send them to John Mayer in a coconut shell.
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Bloop me like you’ll never see me again.
Hahaha! Love that constipated face. I walked in unannounced on my son playing drums the other day and whoa! that was some crazy face too.
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
Damn... Dlisted has been having some bitchy vibes the last few times I've been here
Thank God for all you funny sluts
GEORGE IS GETTIN ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
mishma, since you smelled your armpit, I had to throw in some "A Fish Called Wanda"......I guess it went over your head......oh well!
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Every thing of beauty that you see only brings a tear when you miss somebody....
- Chris Cornell "Wave Goodbye"
his voice make my butt cry!
IM Inappropriately Angry!!!!!!
Submitted by mike on July 28, 2008 - 4:21pm.
When I hear his voice, I confuse him with Jack Johnson - another musician I don't really care about.
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I've confused them too, although I like Jack Johnson more than John M.
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
shoe addict - dude Im well aware of how popular he is.
Im glad you realized I was only stating my opinion.
soooooooooooooooooo fucking defensive!!! what is it anbout the fucking internet that makes everyone so fucking combative???? try being more combative on the street.. see where it gets you.
(that isnt directed solely at you shoe addict)
hahaha SOLEly.. SHOE addict.. errr
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Mike, I'd rather listen to that Jackson dude ANYTIME over this fucktard.
He look's like a dick head with that hair cut the fuckhead loL!!!!!!
No way is John Mayer King of the Douches.
Everyone knows Joel Madden is the King of the Douches, with Spencer Pratt next in the line of succession.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 28, 2008 - 4:21pm
Mmmm....can I have a spoon for that?
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Smegma must only be consumed using the unwashed toe of a Greek virgin.
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Bloop me like you’ll never see me again.
he is my favorite . He is seeking someone online now. I saw him at """""""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""" last week. What kind of relationship is he looking for on that site?
Submitted by FuckingLoveAngelina on July 28, 2008 - 4:21pm.
angry?
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Just frustrated. Can I have some of your sammie?
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Bloop me like you’ll never see me again.
Is Disappointed like Inappropriately Angry? I don't want any pussy rage, damnit, i want true unbridled, grapefruit in the face apathy. And a gyro. Gyro, I want one
Ugh, seriously? Gonna argue the amount of fans this douche has?
When I hear his voice, I confuse him with Jack Johnson - another musician I don't really care about.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 28, 2008 - 3:19pm.
SMEGMA
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Mmmm....can I have a spoon for that?
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 28, 2008 - 4:19pm.
SMEGMA
angry?
SMEGMA
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Bloop me like you’ll never see me again.
missy,
There are at least 5 million people that disagree with you (fact). Stadiums are packed/sold out every night( fact). you're entiltled to your OPINION and so am I.
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love me some Mayer....so what!!!its complicated
sorry- dog bumped into my arm....must have hit twice- double post...
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Every thing of beauty that you see only brings a tear when you miss somebody....
- Chris Cornell "Wave Goodbye"
Run away! Run away!
mishma: are you "DISAPPOINTED!"?
heehee
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Every thing of beauty that you see only brings a tear when you miss somebody....
- Chris Cornell "Wave Goodbye"
im angry i think!
wait
*looks in Uggs pants*
No HE angry. I felt this on my leg and knew something was angry. Its not me it the penis.
i will however put this out there. the king of all douches has to be....wait for it.... justin timberlake. (in chrissy crocker's screaming voice) LEAVE JOHN MAYER ALONE!!!! ROTF
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love me some Mayer....so what!!!its complicated
I agree missy....he used to not court the media at all, but ever since Jessica Simpson, it seems like he has been everywhere...
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Every thing of beauty that you see only brings a tear when you miss somebody....
- Chris Cornell "Wave Goodbye"
I think I still "hate" John Mayer. Wait, hold on, *smelling armpits*, yeah I still hate him
Come on PSL...you're always getting "angry" with someone on here. BREATH EXHALE BREATH EXHALE.
vivian you are total retard.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Quick folks. I need help. I need a new nickname for a game. Crapbag is apparently not going to do it anymore.
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Bloop me like you’ll never see me again.
hahahahhahaa ME
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by shoe addict on July 28, 2008 - 3:08pm.
He's a great singer songwriter musician
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well shit, Ill say I totally disagree with THAT sentiment!
His music is bland, unoriginal, boring and uninteresting.
He loves to talk a big game and play himself up as some kind of guitar prodigy but hes more concerned with his image than he is with the spirit and soul of music.
And overall his music just basically SUCKS.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
PSL,
I think you're still "angry" with me.
I go into a fit of rage every time that GD "Say what you need to say" song comes on.
How many GOD DAMN times can you repeat
"Say what you need to say..."?
Really?!?!?
labia
*giggles*
Submitted by FuckingLoveAngelina on July 28, 2008 - 4:06pm.
Boswalla body not wonderland!
put hand on guitar cabbage stinker!
not discovery channel in this ass!
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I just peed.
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Bloop me like you’ll never see me again.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 28, 2008 - 12:04pm.
Submitted by M.E. on July 28, 2008 - 3:00pm.
You mean this douchbag was within 30 miles of me??
FUCK THAT!
They need to burn down the Shoreline Ampetheater, STAT after his painful facial expressions were there.
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M.E.--have you noticed the faint scent of cabbage in the air since he's been there?
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Naw, thankfully with the offshore breeze, his stench aint coming this way!
Submitted by Vivian on July 28, 2008 - 3:51pm.
Wrong! to have a "Hard on" for someone means to want to fuck them over (and not in the fun way we all know and love either)
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That's 'hate on' you labia.
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Bloop me like you’ll never see me again.