In His Dreams
During a show in Mountain View, CA, last night, John Mayer told the audience about a dream he had. In his dream, he made out with a chick who wasn't his girlfriend. A bitch who was at his show told E!, "He was talking about 'dream cheating. He apparently made out with some chick in his dreams. He had to do his penance to his girlfriend by singing 'Dreaming with a Broken Heart.'"
Jennifer Aniston probably flipped her chin when she found out about his dream. She cornered him and screamed, "You cheater! How dare you!?" John had to explain to her it was only a dream. She didn't care, "I thought you were different. But you're not! Who was the tramp?! WHO?! Let me fucking guess. Her first name stars with an A and ends with an N." John responded, "You mean ends with an A?" That's when Jenny made him shave off all his hair off. She used it to make a potion to ward off the cheating spirits.
Here's John making "diarrhea faces" while playing Irvine, CA the other night. I miss his 80s mop.
Wenn
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He's so hotttttt...after I set him on fire....with my cigarette...and 69856756876507 fluid ounces of napalm. Sensi
Not only is he hotttt. He's a great singer songwriter musician Its no secret that I'm crazy about him. He also has an excellent dick report. Once all these actresses that you guys are so fond of gets dickmatised by john, the hold is strong enough that they let him peee on them. Now thats some goood dick, LMAO...on second thought not all good dick is good dick, but I still love him...Maybe just a quickee after the show, lol
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love me some Mayer....so what!!!
its complicated
Did John Mayer do a cover of Debbie Gibson's "only In My Dreams"?????
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S13fuTcLasU
His dream catcher needs emptying.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by mishma on July 28, 2008 - 11:41am.
How many incarnations are there of LoveAngelina? I thought she was never coming back? Can someone look at this mole on my back and tell me if it's cancer or herpes?
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It's a tick and you've now probably got Lyme disease!
Boswalla body not wonderland!
put hand on guitar cabbage stinker!
not discovery channel in this ass!
CABBAGE!
In a completely unrelated note, that young woman in the American Apparel swimsuit advert has the revolted-but-intrigued expression of a girl who was just informed that to keep her job she had to blow the entire male population of a Tuscan village.
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You wish.
Andy Dick is all show and no go. I bet he even fronts in rehab and says he likes girls. TRUST
I hated John Mayer after "Wonderland", I hated him after his blog now I just want him to do die, slowly, ok nvm, quickly, the quicker the better
now i think of penise like hungry hungry hippos game and they are all mad eating balls before other hippo eats them.
oh no!
Submitted by M.E. on July 28, 2008 - 3:00pm.
You mean this douchbag was within 30 miles of me??
FUCK THAT!
They need to burn down the Shoreline Ampetheater, STAT after his painful facial expressions were there.
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M.E.--have you noticed the faint scent of cabbage in the air since he's been there?
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Vivian you didn't hit a nerve....I feel sorry for miserable people. I really do- I let that shit go years ago. It's just not good for you.
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Every thing of beauty that you see only brings a tear when you miss somebody....
- Chris Cornell "Wave Goodbye"
Viva do it do it! I change to I fucking love that viva la lohan fucking love mealina!
XXYXZ! angry inch of fire! Hogan must rub lotion on skin before she touch hos again!
Submitted by Vivian on July 28, 2008 - 2:57pm.
your mom ate the...I think your adorable.
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Thanks. Here, have a macaroni bracelet...just don't tell Moses. Shhhh!
*hands Vivian a macaroni bracelet*
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
You mean this douchbag was within 30 miles of me??
FUCK THAT!
They need to burn down the Shoreline Ampetheater, STAT after his painful facial expressions were there.
Submitted by mishma on July 28, 2008 - 3:48pm.Oh shit, how much blow and dick can I inhale in 15 minutes? OMG HELP A BITCH OUT.
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Fuck! I tried calling Andy Dick for some advice but the bitch isn't answering!
FLA
maybe there's a pill for that..Or an ointment
PSL ah, don't go away mad. If I hit a nerve I'm sorry, really.
Submitted by FuckingLoveAngelina on July 28, 2008 - 12:47pm.
errections are not angry unless it belong to Hogan daughter!
ANGRY INCH ANGRY INCH ANGRY INCH
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bwa ha ha ah ha
I am so changing my name to Fucking Loves FLA!
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
And if you complain once more, you'll meet an army of me
Dedication to MK:
Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you there's no one else above you?
LOL @ this post.
your mom ate the...I think your adorable.
Submitted by FuckingLoveAngelina on July 28, 2008 - 2:56pm.
i just never seen angry penis before.
it must be like spitting mad times?
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An angry penis is a satisfying penis.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
My therapist told me looking up definitions of the words people use to insult me on gossip blogs means my mother didn't breast feed me. Then he gave me "anger management pills" and I am suing cuz all he gave me was just regular old Lithium, fucking liar
Vivian, I think therapy should be your next stop dear. You obviously need it. Don't answer me, I'm done with you. Miserable fucktard....
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Every thing of beauty that you see only brings a tear when you miss somebody....
- Chris Cornell "Wave Goodbye"
i just never seen angry penis before.
it must be like spitting mad times?
Not. a. good. look.
Submitted by Vivian on July 28, 2008 - 2:51pm.
Wrong! to have a "Hard on" for someone means to want to fuck them over (and not in the fun way we all know and love either) Google's great.
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Oh, my! Shown up by Google! However will I continue to exist?
*Weeps into her Funk & Wagnall's*
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
I have a hard on right now. No really. Ok it's my syphilis, fucking semantic nazis
Submitted by Abraham on July 28, 2008 - 3:52pm.
he is my favorite . He is seeking someone online now. I saw him at """""""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""" last week. What kind of relationship is he looking for on that site?
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One where he's allowed to make faces like this in bed without getting punched in the mouth.
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Bloop me like you’ll never see me again.
LOL, I thought he was Rob Thomas. Then, I saw it was John Mayer and didn't read the rest.
PSL you like to use that word "angry" a lot don't you? Don't you get to hear other words in therapy?
he is my favorite . He is seeking someone online now. I saw him at """""""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""" last week. What kind of relationship is he looking for on that site?
Wrong! to have a "Hard on" for someone means to want to fuck them over (and not in the fun way we all know and love either) Google's great.
At least his penis is about 10 times the size of Brad's. Aniston gets to ride his massive douche rocket while Angelina gets poked by Brad's eraser dick. Infinite orphans & in vitro babies aside, I think Aniston wins.
Vivian, I have just noticed that your posts are usually angry ones, picking on either MK, or the people who make comments here.....your last post proved that once again.
You just seem like a really angry person. I hope you are not as angry as you seem in your posts. Here's a hug, and I hope your day gets better.
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Every thing of beauty that you see only brings a tear when you miss somebody....
- Chris Cornell "Wave Goodbye"
I think you're right. I think Jennifer Aniston DID make a hair potion. She also made salad with some of it and ate it.
She ate his hair. She did it because then he would be inside of her for at least 8 hours.
www.reluctantwhore.com
www.cafepress.com/reluctantwhore
No wonder he goes through so many women. If that's his O-face I'd be booking it ASAP.
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Bloop me like you’ll never see me again.
Submitted by mishma on July 28, 2008 - 3:46pm.
OH NO! Come to my village!
Nurse has one leg here! No run times!
Submitted by rebanndel on July 28, 2008 - 12:44pm
It's both. It's a rare disease known as the Ronaldo-Hilton. You've got 15 min. to live.
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Oh shit, how much blow and dick can I inhale in 15 minutes? OMG HELP A BITCH OUT.
Vivian--having a "hard on" for someone/something only means you like/want/desire them/it.
this is true taco mom times.
errections are not angry unless it belong to Hogan daughter!
ANGRY INCH ANGRY INCH ANGRY INCH
Submitted by Clarisse on July 28, 2008 - 2:23pm.
-Yes, he does makes some pretty terrifying faces, don't he? Pukatronic.
Why women find him so hot perplexes me.
oh and he's like the epitome of douchy (as well as shia and twat)
If there was a ship called the S.S. LaDouche I'd name mayer the official cabana boy.
FLA: I tried but everytime I lift up my shirt to show people they run. Which in the free clinic, isn't very far. They need more funding
Submitted by Vivian on July 28, 2008 - 2:42pm.
And by the way the term "hard on" is meant as in "what's your problem" which means your comment as written, makes no sense whatsoever.
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Vivian--having a "hard on" for someone/something only means you like/want/desire them/it.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by mishma on July 28, 2008 - 3:41pm.
Ask around silly!
edit: you have NOTHING on your back
Trust us, it aint NOTHING LIKE LA!
Submitted by mishma on July 28, 2008 - 3:41pm. Can someone look at this mole on my back and tell me if it's cancer or herpes?
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It's both. It's a rare disease known as the Ronaldo-Hilton. You've got 15 min. to live.
Submitted by FuckingLoveAngelina on July 28, 2008 - 2:39pm.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 28, 2008 - 3:29pm.
he smell what i cokk and i swear he say CABBAGE!
John Mayer- Cabbage Fart Kid
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Squeeze him--he makes an o-face and releases a special cabbage fart scent!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
PSL
Don't worry...I understand you
That whiney crybaby face is the best picture ever of this tool.
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?
I am so sick of this tool. I don't understand the appeal at all.
Vivian, what is your hard on for this site, when you don't like anything MK has to say?
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Who said I don't like MK? I think he's funny as hell but that doesn't mean I love everything he post.... I can like someone and still disagree. And by the way the term "hard on" is meant as in "what's your problem" which means your comment as written, makes no sense whatsoever.
I've seen women during natural childbirth making more attractive faces.
How many incarnations are there of LoveAngelina? I thought she was never coming back? Can someone look at this mole on my back and tell me if it's cancer or herpes?