You Gotta Start Somewhere
First of all, there's that choker again..... That thing makes me want to vomit poop, which is totally possible, but we'll save that story for another day. Or not. So! White Oprah is apparently livid after finding out that her 14-year-old (going on 45-year-old) daughter unwittingly auditioned for a well-known porn director.
On Sunday night's episode of the caca fiesta known as "Living Lohan," Ali gave a shit ass audition for the movie "Troll." One of the dudes she read for was Peter Davy, an award-winning porn director. TMZ reports that he's directed such porn hits as "Breast Wishes 14," "Bun Busters 12" and "Voodoo Lust." Ooooh, that last one sounds like a real hand jerker.
White Oprah claims she had no idea about Peter's past. Her rep (probably Nana Lohan) told UsWeekly, “Ali obviously had no idea about Davy’s past. If she did know, she never would have auditioned for him.” You see how the rep said ALI had no idea. I mean, you know White Oprah knew what was going on. Bitch probably worked with him once.
Even though Ali's audition made my TV turn off, she still got the role. Seriously, my TV really turned off while I was watching it. Ali only got the role because White Oprah sat on Peter's face and agreed to star in "Bun Busters 13."
Note to Ali: you're fugly, face it.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR HER TO WEAR THE TATTOO CHOKERS.
I LOVED THOSE BACK IN THE 97-98.
MANDO
Submitted by Old_Broad on July 31, 2008 - 10:48am.
Lindsey got all the looks in this family.
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Which isn't saying much because Lindsay is a fugly ass-faced mess.
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I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?
omg- totally thought Brooke Hogan had dyed her hair.
That girl needs to EMBRACE being a teenager and stop with all this grown up, too much makeup wearing shit.
..then again, she is being pimped so.. meh.
☆★your☆★soul☆★has☆★been☆★☆eated★☆
www.seekingdesperately.blogspot.com/
This makes sense now as to why he was asking her to make the words delicious.
Flesh Gordon
When I see that choker I just think it's a line for CUT HERE.
has anyone thought to notify child protective services??? this is f*cking crazy!! Dina the hoebag should not have custody of minor children.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 31, 2008 - 11:17am.
yeah right, Dina didn;t know.......
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Neither did Billy Ray Cyrus.
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Dick happens! - MK
yeah right, Dina didn;t know.......
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From the first to the last time, the signs said stop; but we went on wholehearted; it ended bad, but I love what we started
- Fiona Apple "Parting Gift"
Submitted by NaNoop on July 31, 2008 - 10:54am.
So! White Oprah is apparently livid after finding out that her 14-year-old (going on 45-year-old) daughter unwittingly auditioned for a well-known porn director.
White Oprah: Bitch, pleeze. You and your scum-sucking spawn ALL know there is to know about ANYbody in the biz.
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For reals. She knew from the beginning that she would be saying she didn't know too.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by NaNoop on July 31, 2008 - 9:54am.
So! White Oprah is apparently livid after finding out that her 14-year-old (going on 45-year-old) daughter unwittingly auditioned for a well-known porn director.
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She's just angry because the media found out about it and everyone knows. No biggie, WO...it's not as if your horrid parenting skills are some big secret. This just re-inforces everyone's opinion.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
So! White Oprah is apparently livid after finding out that her 14-year-old (going on 45-year-old) daughter unwittingly auditioned for a well-known porn director.
White Oprah: Bitch, pleeze. You and your scum-sucking spawn ALL know there is to know about ANYbody in the biz. You knew who this guy was/is, and your skank daughter does too. You can't fool us, you are ruthless, asslicking, desperate for fame whores.
Lindsey got all the looks in this family.
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on July 31, 2008 - 9:43am.
She's not very pretty.
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Aw, c'mon--don't be so harsh. Stick a paper bag over her head, and she'll look just fine!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
She's not very pretty.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 31, 2008 - 10:32am.
Don't feel bad Martha. I went to HS in a small town and I was the resident Hippy. I wore huge bellbottoms, floppy leather hats, leather fringe vests (the fringe went to the ankles) and tied leather strings from index toes to back of ankles and went "barefoot" everywhere. I was not a trend setter.
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Haha! You'd be a Rock Star where I'm at.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by oliver_darque on July 31, 2008 - 10:19am.
i've seen like 3 episodes of that "show"...
(don't throw me in with the wolves!)
and in one part, I saw this ancient looking betch
keep on applying make-up and shit
trying to cover her youth?
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That's just sad. I always tell my daughter "You're only a kid for a limited time but you're an adult for-EVA! And you see me, right? Running around to appointments, doing laundry, paying bills... Does it look fun?" LOL she kinda half-ignores me until I say that part. Maybe that's the problem - she hasn't see anyone who's actually grown up yet.
A♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Don't feel bad Martha. I went to HS in a small town and I was the resident Hippy. I wore huge bellbottoms, floppy leather hats, leather fringe vests (the fringe went to the ankles) and tied leather strings from index toes to back of ankles and went "barefoot" everywhere. I was not a trend setter.
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...whatever.
Submitted by Beverley on July 31, 2008 - 9:22am.
How long till these Lohan twats all pose together in Hustler? I wish a sinkhole would open up, scream "Me Needs Lohans" and swallow the whole group of them up. And doesn't Trolls sound like a winner of a movie.
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Hey! You can knock on the Lohans all you want, but leave Troll alooooooooooooone! It was a winner--in kitsch!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
@ everyone who answered "Crack"...
Ergh. No wonder the girls on the other lacrosse teams always gave us weird looks... Thank you all for making me feel like a tard. xP Love.
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Hi5.
How long till these Lohan twats all pose together in Hustler? I wish a sinkhole would open up, scream "Me Needs Lohans" and swallow the whole group of them up. And doesn't Trolls sound like a winner of a movie.
_____________________________________________
I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?
i've seen like 3 episodes of that "show"...
(don't throw me in with the wolves!)
and in one part, I saw this ancient looking betch
keep on applying make-up and shit
trying to cover her youth?
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"Stanley, that better be me you're having sex with"
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IG,
...and there was not even a sharpie to be found! lol.
Even with her face scrubbed Ali Lohan would still look used up.
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...whatever.
Submitted by Collorius on July 31, 2008 - 9:21am.
Yea, her neck is way to thick to be accentuating it with a damn choker. She should be downplaying that shit, not making you stare.
I would kill my 14 yr old if she ever attempted to look that cheap
Morning Deb! I was going to mention something about having to draw a line down the back of my legs but figured the whippersnappers would be confused. :)
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Submitted by islandgirl on July 31, 2008 - 9:09am.
Submitted by Sheeps on July 31, 2008 - 10:07am.
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Damn you, I KNEW you'd pick up on that. And you would not believe what we had to do for a bit of chocolate.
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You naughty girl! LOL
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
IG! Welcome back!
I thought that nylons was perfectly exceptable. I am older. I had to use makeup.
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...whatever.
Submitted by Sheeps on July 31, 2008 - 10:07am.
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Damn you, I KNEW you'd pick up on that. And you would not believe what we had to do for a bit of chocolate.
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Submitted by FatMartha on July 31, 2008 - 9:01am.
Question for you guys:
A couple years ago when I was still in high school, it was popular to take a pair of pantyhose, cut a strip out of them, and tie it around your neck. Did anyone else do this or were the girls at my school (including me, unfortunately) all on crack?
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Crack, my dear. When I was in high school, I went to my local rag shop and bought ribbon to tie around my neck as a choker. Then, all of a sudden, chokers became really popular and everyone was wearing them. So I stopped wearing them and started wearing barrettes and a red chain on my pants. I think you can guess what happened.
Get what I'm preachin'? If you're gonna start a fad, try anything else before you try pantyhose...unless you're starting a convenience store robbery-type fad.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by islandgirl on July 31, 2008 - 7:04am.
Your "nylons"?
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Ne soyez pas des moutons. Arretez de croire ce qu'on vous montre sur internet sans esprit critique.
@Martha,
It was the crack.
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...whatever.
Submitted by FatMartha on July 31, 2008 - 10:01am.
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When I was in highschool, we had to get our hose from American soldiers. :0)
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Question for you guys:
A couple years ago when I was still in high school, it was popular to take a pair of pantyhose, cut a strip out of them, and tie it around your neck. Did anyone else do this or were the girls at my school (including me, unfortunately) all on crack?
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Hi5.
I still can't believe this girl is 14. Didn't she want a musical career?
As for this stupid movie, she is going to play a girl that kicks ass (can fight). I saw a clip of the audition. A girl in high school who can fight evil? what does that remind me of?
Looks like a 90 minute episode of Buffy folks ...without the great writing and with this thing as its star. ____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
I don't mind the choker, everytime I see it I envision her being strangled. I'm sick, I know.
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Dick happens! - MK
Oh gawd NO!!! She's going to taint Noah Hathaway!
NO!
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by cozi on July 31, 2008 - 9:43am.
I am told I am a pretty american woman.
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I am told you are an ugly Lithuanian spammer. Is this true?
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Does anyone else think it just looks like she's gotten a permo and drawn a line around her neck?
Those are contacts she's wearing, right?
And plumpped lips. Classic. Dick sucking lips is what I wanted for Xmas when I was 14
Ali is fug. And I don't wanna hear "but she's a child, don't say mean things about a child"
Well, she looks like a 35 year old hooker, I don't think 14 when I look at her
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on July 31, 2008 - 8:25am.
"Night of the Giving Head"
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Ha Ha ha ha!
CLASSIC. She should just audition now the next 5 years will fly by she should just get in while the getting is good. She is FUG FUG FUG damn this family for being EVERYWHERE.
"I think you know that your more then just some fucked up piece of ass."
George Fuckin Michael.
Someone scrub her fucking face, put her in pigtails and send her ass to SCHOOL.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
This Ali Lohan story makes me think of funny porn titles:
Dildo Baggins: Lord of the Wangs
Lap Dances with Wolves
Night of the Giving Head
Who Reamed Roger Rabbit?
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
Isn't White Oprah her "manager"? I mean, isn't that her JOB? So what -- Ali went behind White Oprah's back and scheduled this audition?
Way to throw another kid under the bus, Dina.
Whore.
those are blue contacts? wow, I'm naive.
So, is she going to star as the Troll?
Obama/Spears 08
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Blogs aren't for the sensitive at heart - FU
I'm NOT an economist, I'm an optimist. GW Bush
VooDoo Lust, brilliant!
Wasn't Skeletina the star of that one?
Ali LoblowdicksuckerHan earned that part you h8ers!
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Ali is so desperate to be a star, it wouldn't shock me if she did star in a porno film.
She'd do it as long as she gets top billing.
Her head and neck look like a worm. They are the same width all the way up.