Nobody Talks Bad About My Aretha!
Some jealous bitches told Page Six that Our Lady of Chichis, Aretha Franklin, was "out of it" at a party at Russell Simmons' house in the Hamptons the other day. Some stupid whore who obviously needs a hug said "five people" had to help Miss Aretha leave the event.
The fugly bitch went on to say, "She was dressed in an off-white, low-cut shirt and pantsuit with jacket and pearls. She was just oblivious to what was going on." Of course it takes five hos! Two for each chichi and one dude stands behind her to break her fall just in case she goes down.
And she was probably "out of it" because she had not eaten her 5th funnel cake of the hour. Aretha loves her funnel cakes! She has a funnel cake maker in her car and every room of her house. She's serious about them.
Aretha is fine and people need to stop telling lies! Her chichis would never let me down. Seriously, I want to play patty cake with her magnificent chichis. Trust me, they can play back.
Wireimage
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That fuckin HO better take all those words back.You don't go spreadin no rumours about our Queen of Soul you betta sho some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
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Who was that guy last night,he left the seat up damn!
I've heard she has a morbid fear of operations (same as Oprah Winfrey), which is why she won't consider gastric bypass surgery. I wish she would, because the world needs Aretha. Who else could step in for Pavarotti and sing "Nessum Dorma"? I stood up and clapped in my living room when she did that.
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"If Hugh is asked directions to the nearest Citibank, I am asked directions to the nearest plasma bank."
~David Sedaris
Um... I have never seen cleavage that high...if she looks that gross in clothes, I can't even imagine her naked.. yuck!! If I had the dough she probably has, I would get a breast reduction, STAT.
All I can think of when I see her cleavage is "OUCH"!!! They must weigh a ton each and that weight must cause terrible pain to the chest wall!
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Computer says no
Aretha needs to lose weight, but she is still the Queen. Love her!
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
She looks beyond unhealthy. If she would get a breast reduction and those multiple double chins removed, she would probably lose 100 pounds. That is a LOT of flesh. One day, gravity is finally going to take its toll and those gigantic funbags are going to rip away from her hippo body and crash to the ground.....might be mistaken for an earthquake.
Chain-chain-chain- Chain of poo's.
She is my favorite. Someone told me she is datting a young billlionaire on -"""""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""". What kind of relationship she is looking for on that site? Long-term relationship or just a date?
whoever this woman is - she is too big.
IMHO
my guess is that she didn't wait an hour to "sweat with the oldies" after she ate the deal-a-meal book.
Ew... think of how sweaty it is under them flapjacks!
Wearing a bra prolly hurts her back, poor thing.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Don't be too hard on Re. You see, she has grown to such an ungainly size that her body exerts a gravitation pull that causes anything from the size of a Xanax to a snack cake to fly towards her.
With a few more pounds, she won't be able to walk down the street without being pelted by mailboxes and Pontiacs.
So close to Jesus, one spritz of a quality fragrance gets us both,
Mrs. Betty Bowers
America's Best Christian
Curious. Does she kind of just roll up the chichis before she attempts to fit them in the bra cup? I think so.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Aretha 'tetas grandes' Franklin!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 1, 2008 - 11:01am.
Aretha, "Baby I love you", but you do not look like a "Natural Woman" anymore....she needs to seriously "Think" about losing some weight....
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True. Then maybe she'd get more "R.E.S.P.E.C.T." lol.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Aretha, "Baby I love you", but you do not look like a "Natural Woman" anymore....she needs to seriously "Think" about losing some weight....
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"Since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody, thank God; and Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue."
LAPD Chief Bratton
If I were her, and had her money, Id get those things hiked back up: Stat! Some one call that Dr Rey for her! lmao. For real though, those have to hurt her neck and back, I have 36D and it kills my neck/shoulders, those suckers have to be like 50ZZZ or something! (gross)
Mrs. K would join me in a brief rendtion of "Jump, Jump, JUMP to it....."
No wonder Olde World Buffet is going bankrupt.
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
There was a soul singer named Aretha
Whose tits hung down to her urethra
When she went to go pee
Nobody could see
From her alpha right down to her theta.
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
Yes, it's truly a spectactle to see her udders hang like that, but I'm just a bit concerned at how high those tits start at the clavicle and where they start to seperate from her chest. It's quite unordinary, and much like a train wreck I just can't take my eyes off of them.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Why be difficult when you can be impossible!
*astonished*...she doesn't have breasts...she has neckties...with a nipple tip...hollee shiz
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
Submitted by Clarisse on August 1, 2008 - 9:25am.
Her tits hang low
They wobble to and fro
She can tie them in a knot
She can tie them in a bow
She can throw them o'er your shoulder
like a continental soldier
Her tits hang lowwwwwwwwwwww
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BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Of COURSE you'd know that song....ROFL ♥♥♥
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Oh, to all that is clean and pure in this world! Those breasteses are HUGE!
Aretha is like Yoda, I paraphrase: "When my age you reach, look as good, you will not."
When you have lived as long as Aretha, and done the things Aretha has done, you have more than earned the right to get drunk whenever you damned well please.
Good morning, everybody!!!
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
that has to be the ugliest decolletage I have seen on anyone. pleeaaase cover that up.
sorry, but mega pancake titties are just not pretty.
mmmmmmm pancakes damn now I'm hungry lol
As to these bitches speaking ill of the Queen, I'll cut them all. Don't worry about the fuckin' Messiah twins -- you don't mess with the Queen!
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"If Hugh is asked directions to the nearest Citibank, I am asked directions to the nearest plasma bank."
~David Sedaris
I was at a loss for words over the cleavage, thanks whores for helping me.
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Dick happens! - MK
Aretha..I love you but you need to lose some weight. That can't be good for you.
Aretha is looking much slimmer and healthier in these pics and I wish her all the best.
Nothing but love for The Queen!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
The Queen needs to a wear a "Playtex Cross Your Heart Bra" at all times.
Sorry, Gravity is a harsh Mistress.
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. That is a lot of boob. Thank GOD it still looks better than Star Jones'. Bluech.
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Proactiv ain't got nothin' on bloopin', baby.
She's a legend and if celebs can have stupid things like an umbrella holder when they walk around, she most definately needs a chi chi holder. Fo Sho.
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
Does she have someone help her get dressed? If not, that probably explains why she's not wearing a bra. Those things can be pretty complicated. It's amazing I manage to figure it out most days.
That dumb ho doesn't understand that it would be an honor to support Aretha and to hold up one of her chichis; if fact just call me "Honor". Dumb ho doesn't understand R-E-S-P-E-C-T...give it to me now.
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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.
I have big honkin chichis too, and there is no fucking way that I would go out in public with them hanging down like that. She is rich and should have someone around her who has the sense to tell her to get a damn bra. It probably won't be lacy or frilly, but at least it will contain the masses and stop scaring small children.
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I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?
Is that a fat Terrence Howard in the background or what?
She does look slimmer. I wonder if she's starving herself for reals.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Do you think her chichis touch her toes yet?
The other two being a crane operator and site foreman.
@Clarisse
Now I am going to have that song stuck in my head all day...
I am baffled by her bra issues and the fact that no one has helped her out. ReRe-3 foot long saggy breasts that point down in different directions is not a good look on anyone. If nothing else, tie those sonsabitches together and at least close the gap.
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- betterthanyomama
Her tits hang low
They wobble to and fro
She can tie them in a knot
She can tie them in a bow
She can throw them o'er your shoulder
like a continental soldier
Her tits hang lowwwwwwwwwwww
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Madness, as you know, is like gravity…
All it needs is a little push.
you betta respect those ginormous chichis!!!
Maybe its just a sign of how long of a day I am having, but when I look at this pic all I can think is, "I want to take a nap on those..."
That is some serious pancake/National Geographic titty fuckery right there. Blech.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
she looks like she lost weight
Can I talk bad about your Urethra?
I am mesmerized by her "cleavage."
I use quotes because I don't think "cleavage" is a strong enough word
to describe what's going on here.
Is "crevasse" appropriate? I could see polar explorers falling into one of those things, crampons and all, and never being heard from again.