Brit Brit Is Not Doing Her Bodyguard
Brit Brit's manager has denied the rumor that she's bumping Cheeto flaps with her bodyguard. Larry Rudolph told Access Hollywood, “There is no truth to this at all. Britney is 100% single.” Not 100%. Some of her heart still belongs to Frapp and Chester.
The bodyguard in question isn't even her bodyguard. Larry said that he's her "staff photographer." He's a photographer? This just confirms that she's letting him chew on her fish jerky.
What the hell does she need a staff photographer for anyway? Daddy Spears probably bought her one because she misses the paps so much. He follows her around the house all day while saying, "Britneeeeeey. You are sooo booootiful. Looking sexxxxaaaay." Every now and again she beats him with an umbrella or throws her homemade frapp at him for old times' sake.
whatever...she probably smells like salami all the time
I've banged all kinds of guys when I was single. I've banged all kinds of guys when I wasn't single. Don't people understand how sex works? Jeebus.
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
having a hotter body than all the hot swimsuit models on earth will never change the fact that she will always be and look like louisiana white trash. Honestly i don't know how any man can sleep with her; she's so gross looking. she's in no way enticing or sexy. she's just gross.
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"When it comes to men, don't pay attention to word they say, but pay attention to absolutely everything they do".
Professor Randy Paush
You'd think Brit-Shit would have learned a thing or two from her past of fucking the help.
But she's basically help that hit paydirt.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
She looks SO beautiful. I saw her personals ID on wealthy men for beautiful women site """"""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""" last week. It is said she is dating young billlionaire on that site. Is she single now?
I love her bathing suit.
*blows head off*
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Fish Jerky? LOL -- Michael K where do you come up with this stuff!!
I just thought of an out-call escort venture. It would specialize in people pretending to be nannies, paps and body-guards. It would save the hassle afterwards of having to marry them, having them sell your family's secrets and having to get restraining orders.
Submitted by Dr. Destructo on August 1, 2008 - 10:15am.
I know! I can't imagine life without digital cameras.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. ~Homer Simpson
This ill-tarded Hillbilly will be back to her crazy self as soon as Pepaw Spears lets go of the reins.
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"Hell ain't SHIT!" Stinkmeaner from "The Boondocks"
I think her "people" are making a last ditch effort to preserve (and resurrect) her image and reputation for the Big Comeback. The PR machine knows it's best for her image to not APPEAR to be doing the dude whilst frolicking on vacay just after tossing her kids to KFed fastball style. Nah, I choose to believe she IS bumping uglies with him- she's a whore of every kind, not just for pics.
The public display of crazy/slutty/druggie etc...has once again been reigned in for the sake of appearances only.
She has staff?
hahahahahahahaha....
omg.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
She's still having phone sex with KFed, no?
If this guy isn't fucking her, he is smarter than we thought!
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"Since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody, thank God; and Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue."
LAPD Chief Bratton
We have the same bakini top .. that's cool. yeehee.
Sheeps - LOL!!!! Good one XD
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Surfing the apocalypse.
Larry misspoke: Lee is the staff pornographer.
DeeDee, if it doesn't work out, I'm sure someone else out there will be more than happy to bring you on as a staff photographer! Good luck till then! And don't cha just love digital cameras? It sure beats the smirks on the faces of those pesky one hour photo techs!
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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!
"Britney is 100% single." That just means she's boinking one dude at a time. No double cheeseburgers for BritBrit while she's in training.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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I took some "staff" pictures once. But the boyfriend took them back when we broke up.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. ~Homer Simpson
He must not be enough of a loser to qualify for her R.D.A. of loser dick. Maybe it's just the fact that he's single and there's just no fun in it for her unless she can steal said loser dick from someone else. Perhaps if he gets married or into a strong relationship, then Brit will be more than happy enough to start the hide the sausage fest with him. Or perhaps she accidentally hired someone with a functioning brain, a sense of smell, ethics and now it's just another day of 'No dick for you!' for the queen of loser peen.
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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!
he is waaaay too hygenic looking for Brit Brit
yeah, those photographers are quite the catch. I mean don't they all wear bathing suits? Mine does.
And just what kind of 'staff' is he taking photos of for her?
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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!
He's a paid gigolo.
I bet he becomes Husband #3 for this filthy, frapp drinking cow.
remember folks, we still have her ever impending comeback & new album to look forward to! lulz.
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http://www.myspace.com/naervana
A staff photographer? I thought everyone had one of those. *strikes a pose, pouts for imaginary camera*
I really want someone/anyone to go off the rails in a spectacular fashion--- things have been much too quiet lately.
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Oh c'mon, Unfitney will shag anyone, who smiles at her. As her history has shown, she loves fucking the staff. It's her thing.
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
Last Xtina sighting - July 30th 2008
Poor britty. She'll probably never have an adult relationship with anyone. She'll always need a man-hero to "take care of her".
If she could mature mentally a tiny bit she might stop developing these ridiculous 'five-year old princess' crushes on her staff.
Has she never heard the phrase "Don't shit where you eat" ??
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Surfing the apocalypse.
I do like that bathing suit. Her? Not at all.
Submitted by Clarisse on August 1, 2008 - 10:50am.
Well, i can sleep at night now.
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I can't. I will not rest easy until BritBrit finds herself a new buttboy. Until then, she will remain boring and dead to me.
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Hi5.
In related news, Brits has rehired Adnan as her staff accountant.
Submitted by Hekki on August 1, 2008 - 10:15am.
"Cheeto flaps". Eeeew.
And I have to laugh at how being an Israeli soldier is some kind of selling point. Doesn't EVERY Israeli citizen have to serve? (Good idea, BTW)
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Yes and no...
yes they should but there are some exceptions where they don't have to, among them are religious reasons.
All the guys used to have to serve a year or so in Italy and Germany too, but unfortunately this has changed and its no longer mandatory...
Well, i can sleep at night now.
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Madness, as you know, is like gravity…
All it needs is a little push.
Who says you can't be single while porking your way back to the top?
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Proactiv ain't got nothin' on bloopin', baby.
Lmao MK, you always make me burst out laughing!!
"This just confirms that she's letting him chew on her fish jerky."
that is some funny shiot right there buddy!!!
"I don't get mad I just get even"
"Cheeto flaps". Eeeew.
And I have to laugh at how being an Israeli soldier is some kind of selling point. Doesn't EVERY Israeli citizen have to serve? (Good idea, BTW)
What Britney needs to do is ask Daddy if she can borrow some of her own money, so she can pay this piece to hit it.
She's probably got Cheeto cobwebs up in there these days.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
She should do him. He's the cleanest guy she's been around in a while. All he needs is a frapp and a bag of cheetos, and he's set for life.
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I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?
He follows her around the house all day while saying, "Britneeeeeey. You are sooo booootiful. Looking sexxxxaaaay." Every now and again she beats him with an umbrella or throws her homemade frapp at him for old times' sake.
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Haha! Now THAT I can believe!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.