30 Fucking Pages!
This is Saint Angelina laughing at us for already making plans to rush to the newsstands on Monday morning to plop down a few dollars for 30 pages of pictures of her precious twin messiahs. Yes, 30 fucking pages of baby pictures alone. Gawker reports that the hos at People closed the issue last night and the entire spread clocks in at around 30 pages.
I don't even want to look at 30 pages of pictures of babies I'm related to! I mean, what the hell? Here's a picture of Hard Knox with his eyes closed! Here's a picture of Vivie with her eyes closed! Oh! Here's another picture of Hard Knox with his eyes closed and his mouth is open. What's sad is, I'm still going to carefully analyze all 30 pages. I hate myself.
It was rumored that People and Hello! Magazine bought the rights for around $10-$15 million. A source told AP that the final number was $14 million. The cash will go to a foundation created by Brangelina that helps children around the world.
People should seriously find ways to make more money off of these pictures. They could put out a coffee table book and sell t-shirts. Shit, they should make wallet-sized versions of the pictures. That way Brangaloonies can carry them around in their wallets and easily show friends pictures of their "best friends' babies." Seriously, Brangaloonies will look at their friends with glazed eyes and say, "You want to see pictures of the most beautiful humans in the entire history of the world? Say yes or I'll cut you."
And in case you haven't already tattooed it onto your forehead, the first picture of the golden twins will be on People's website tomorrow at 7pm EST.
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She looks beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on millionaire personals site """""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""""" last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
Let’s face it, sane people. Celebutardation starts in the home. Yeah. Cut it out! So, obviously trailer trash is prevalent enough to spawn celebutards but for those of us with half a dried pea rolling around in our noggins, well, we know better and holding up someone to be better than the average human is going to look like a fool no matter WHAT. DEAL.
I don’t put myself on a pedestal. Why? Because I know I’d fall off that fucker faster than you can say, “ACHOO!”.
Fuck Hollyweird and all the plastic faces, plastic boobage, plastic fuckery gone south. NO. I don’t buy it. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not EVER.
I love REAL people. People I can give a big squishy hug to and not get reprimanded that I’m “mussing their make-up”. Yeah. So there!
No one would be wanting to see their tax returns and demanding how much of their ill-gotten gains are going to charity if they wouldn't make such a fucking big deal about it.
Nasty assholes. When are they going to drop off the face of the earth? I refuse to buy People ever again.
Here we go again, the Godless duo at their best!!! Sleazelina the hypocritical whorenitarian makes me sick. Brandgelina Holiar SPitt, the media-whores have sold their BRAND of wares again, their children. No class, no dignity, and no shame, just full of greed and delusions of grandeur.
They claim they are giving the money to charity, which ones??? Is it their foundations?? If so, that is BS bcuz the initial money is tax deductible and if it’s just laying there or the chunk of it, they are still making huge amount of money, that means the money still stays in their pocket. If they really mean to give the money away, let People magazine and OK write checks to the charity of greedylina’s choosing; Charities that have nothing whatsoever to do with their foundations.
This couple’s pairing is a match made in Satan’s hell. After all, Satan is the god of this world, Bradgelina are charlatans, liars, and a thieves just like their god. Enough is enough; stop pulling wools over the public’s eyes, not everyone are intellectually challenged like the bradgeloonies, who refused to see the glaring truth right in front of their eyes. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be this disgusted but these two based their new found careers on being humanitarian, the tabloids and people hailed them as being good and given. They hypocritically preached to us to give and save the environment. Even their cult followers now challenged and curse every celebs or people who question the validity of their idol. The question on the loonies’ mouth now is “how much do you give to charity or they are god/good bcuz they give to charity”. I’m tired of their shit and the bad message they exemplify.
Lastly, the Bible quote below is for bradgelina and the loonies, especially for the loonies who like to shove "they give to charity down our throat" like no one in the history of the world have ever done any good deed except their idol. I know this will just go over their heads because they don’t believe in God, money, beauty and power is their God; however its good advice and a premise every respectable, dignified and classy people, rich or working class practices. Take note loonies and Brandgelina of what our Lord Jesus said below;
“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of people in order to be noticed by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So whenever you give to the poor, don't blow a trumpet before you like the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets so that they will be praised by people. I tell you with certainty, they have their full reward! But when you give to the poor, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be done in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
Mat 6 1-4
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Blessed are the meek/boring/compassionate Bible bashers without sin and the God/Jesus lovers; for they shall inherit the earth.
Submitted by peaches on August 2, 2008 - 1:36pm.
@Nanoop
Most babies are cute. An ugly baby is rare! The ugly stick usually doesn't hit until maybe 10 yrs old at the earliest, in general. You're gonna have to wait a bit to know if these kids are ugly!
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I disagree peaches. I see plenty of ugly babies/toddlers/pre-schoolers out and about...
btw, I love kids, but there are pretty ones and ugly ones....they are PEOPLE.
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I thank you for the kindness, and the times when you got tough; and Papa I don't think I said 'I love you' near enough
-Dan Fogelberg "Leader of The Band"
Well, you can't wallpaper a shrine with *memories* of what the Holy Twins look like. You need a graven image.
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You're right. Plus there are a few loonies that like to jack off in the privacy of their own home. You can't do that sort of thing in a book store or the grocery store.
We're going to have to fortify the "Fuck Off Asshats" trenches against the Brangeloonies. Although, I assume they realize this isn't the place for their fanatical nuttiness. Thta's just AMMO in the Dlist a
This hot slut said best:
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Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 1, 2008 - 9:43am.
Ohhhhh...I'd love to be around for it, but unfortunately Sunday is my "I don't give a flying fuck" day.
Submitted by K2: "I just want to know who the dumb bitches are that are going to pay for this magazine? Why can't the rest of the world get smart like us and just pull up a chair at Barnes & Noble, breeze through the photos and then put it back??"
Well, you can't wallpaper a shrine with *memories* of what the Holy Twins look like. You need a graven image.
Speaking of celebrity crotch fruit, bring out the Sunday Roast, I'm hungry.
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Bill Hicks - Arizona Bay
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpmgO4BTNCc
@Deb-wow that makes four references then :)
@Angry,
Pia Zadora was the "All Growed Up" on TMZ this week. hahaha. A face full of whole pecans now.
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...whatever.
Bradi,
@Bradi!
I swear I can endless read comments on all of the AJ freindly sites. The Loons have given me hours of laughter to the point where I think I need to put a parental lock on my computer to keep me out. Then I won't tell myself the password!
If you like so and so then you have to hate the other so and so. It is 8th grade all over again. They utterly fascinate me...way more than any celeb ever could!
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...whatever.
Submitted by NotsoAnonymous on August 2, 2008 - 3:47pm.
oddly that's the third pia zadora reference I've heard this week :)
Submitted by Green Is Good on August 2, 2008 - 3:45pm.
Crotch fruits!!!
LMAO! I love you green...I will say that my son was waaaaaaay overdue and he came out looking ready to sip on some scotch and listen to sinatra with me...and he did (minus the scotch-add boob milk)-thus he did not look like a typical pink raisin.
The last time I was this excited awaiting baby pics... was when Pia Zadora had her first child.
Deb, hahahahaha, or Courtney Cox....
Well "X" according to youknowwhere is blatantly on the fame hworing trail these days because of the twins.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 1, 2008 - 9:43am.
Ohhhhh...I'd love to be around for it, but unfortunately Sunday is my "I don't give a flying fuck" day.
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I felt the need to repeat Your Mom's comment.
All 2 week old crotch fruits look the same. What's so fascinating?
Submitted by Infamous on August 2, 2008 - 4:40pm.
Thats ridiculous...these celebs need to take a note from Sarah Jessica Parker....I liked how after she had her son shechecked out the hospital she just stood outside the hospital for 10 mins with her baby and let the paps take all the pix they wanted and that was that!
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The only publication interested in pics of My Little Pony Parker's kid was "The Daily Racing Form"
barf.
I can't spend anbother second thinking about this...my brain will explode with repulsion.
Only 26 hours and 20 minutes to go.
I can hardly wait...
Thats ridiculous...these celebs need to take a note from Sarah Jessica Parker....I liked how after she had her son shechecked out the hospital she just stood outside the hospital for 10 mins with her baby and let the paps take all the pix they wanted and that was that! You dont have to whore out your childs pictures for millions thats crazy!!
www.myspace.com/tharightgirl4u <---CHECK OUT MY PAGE!
@BRADI,
I am hoping they look just like Jennifer Aniston!
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...whatever.
She is my favorite. Someone told me she is datting a young billlionaire on -"""""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""". What kind of relationship she is looking for on that site? Long-term relationship or just a date?
Exactly.
And for admin expenses it would not surprise me in the least if having The Golden Globs was not expensed out. Rent a hospital room, a whole floor or a whole country. Get the best drs, security the whole ball of wax thereby having the child virtually for free.
I am not an accountant by any means but if the cash is generated by the birth of children and that cash is going to the charity then the charity should be able to pay back expenses then write them off as admin.
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...whatever.
It would be pretty funny if the twins looked nothing like The Brad.
Dark haired, brown eyed....
Then read how the loonatic army defends and links everyone to death with bio-children oddities.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
@Nanoop
Most babies are cute. An ugly baby is rare! The ugly stick usually doesn't hit until maybe 10 yrs old at the earliest, in general. You're gonna have to wait a bit to know if these kids are ugly!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
If the Jolie-Pitts are getting 15mil, imagine how much People magazine must be getting from corporate advertisers.
========================
Bill Hicks - Arizona Bay
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpmgO4BTNCc
I have no interest in seeing these children. What's there to look at? They're gonna have balloon heads just like their sister with gaping mouthes that never seem to close. That's if they're even Brad's babies but that's another story.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 2, 2008 - 3:30pm.
didn't realize :)
I'm a goody two shoes about shizz like that;)
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 2, 2008 - 3:26pm.
so is what you are saying that they can donate everything they want, turn around and deduct it, then get it back in their return?
wtf
I don't understand rich crazy crackas and the laws that accessivly benefit/protect them and their stupid extravagence.
@Angry,
Bartering WIC coupons for cash is a world famous, tried and true method. How else do you think some addicts get cigs and booze and whatever that is Not On The List?
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...whatever.
30 pages of baby photo's? That's a lot isn't it? They must've taken hundreds of shots then to get enough for 30 pages. Wow!!
Oh no. Does this mean the Brangeloonies are coming?
The brangeloonies are coming!
The brangeloonies are coming!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 2, 2008 - 3:22pm.
LMAO,but if you want to be more accurate with the snarky, saying EBT card would be more appropriate-WIC coupons are highly restrictive-you can only really get milk, juice, certain cheese, drybeans, and formula with them :)
xo
and yes I used to be hella down on my feet and had to get that shizz but was never a fucking brangaloonie
There are certain advantages for setting up your own private foundation. A private foundation cannot be researched thru a website like CharityWorks to see how much money is actually spent on admin expenses versus how much money actually reaches it’s target. Various groups in need must fill out an application and submit it to the foundation before a committee, regardless of size, decides if the group will get assistance.
"Donations to a private foundation are tax deductible. However, it is important to understand that monies are not necessarily going directly to charity immediately. The private foundation is only required to distribute 5% of its asset value per year to charity. Therefore, the IRS has establish limits on how much of your charitable deduction can be used in any particular year.
The charitable deduction limit is set at 30% of adjusted gross income (AGI) for cash donations to the private foundation."
I think it is admirable that this and many other foundations are formed but I would think it was probably on the advice of tax lawyers and accountants. Many high income/low profile people have done the same. They just are not that special.
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...whatever.
I just want to know who the dumb bitches are that are going to pay for this magazine? Why can't the rest of the world get smart like us and just pull up a chair at Barnes & Noble, breeze through the photos and then put it back?? It's so simple.
Oh and I guess People did 30 pages to get their monies worth! But really, you see one photo - you've seen them all. 30 pages is overkill. And for the record, if they wanted privacy they could move to Missouri with his family. They've said many times that no one bothers them there. Let's face it, all that talk about wanting privacy is just an act.
With the loons buying every copy their WIC coupons will afford, that issue will be a success.
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...whatever.
"However as I stated before I'm sure not all of that money is going to charity. With all they money they've "given" to charity and it should be in the 100 millions by now you'd think they could have eradicated something but no people are still starving, kids are still orphans."
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If all the celebs (who are way overpaid) gave money to charties(sp) that would make a huge difference. If several celebs got together for a cause or build a school together etc that would makes a difference.
That bitch is veiny. Veins in forehead, her temples, her hands, her arms. Yuck!
They need to start posting some HD pictures of her ass, something tells me she isn't as pretty as the world wants us to beleive.
Submitted by . on August 2, 2008 - 10:25am.
Is it evil and nasty that a little, teensy part of me wants these babies to be FUG
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I sort of wish it to, and I know tha sounds mean!
But geez enough is enough. I'm so tired of these two. I really want to see their tax returns too, because something in the milk ain't clean.
Ugh. I hate that scrunched up "I only meant to fart but accidentally shit myself instead" face that Angelina Jolie makes when she laughs/smiles like that. It bugs the hell out of me for some reason.
-Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery-
Since they want everyone to know they're giving it away to charity let them post their tax returns. Otherwise I don't believe a word they say
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
@granny clampet
Problem is, they don't really want the paps off their backs!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Stake Spike!
Shrimp Paesanos! That 14 million could go along way keeping this Charity happy...
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...whatever.
Submitted by . on August 2, 2008 - 10:25am.
Is it evil and nasty that a little, teensy part of me wants these babies to be FUG?
Of course, they won't be! Doy! But...mwahahahahahahaha!
Nope! 'Sides, Scrangie Jo is the end product of multiple plastic surgery procedures herself. If left to mother nature's version of events, she would be NOwhere in this industry today. Her beauty is manufactured, au naturale she was just cute in a semi-fug sort of way.
Brad and Angie don't make that much off of movies it wouldn't amaze me if some of that money ends up paying the bills on their "estate" or paying the taxes on the other houses they have or paying for their freaking private jets, which by the by, maybe they should look into funding some enviromental causes because they way thoe fools jet around, their kids won't have a world to grow up in.
I'm all for helping others but there are so many causes out that could use their money, they need to stop hating and start spreading that money around. Or use that money to fund some kind of a compund like Oprah did (except without the abuse). Get those orphans into some proper housing so they can have running water and sh-t.
However as I stated before I'm sure not all of that money is going to charity. With all the money they've "given" to charity, and it should be in the 100 millions by now, you'd think they could have eradicated something but no people are still starving, kids are still orphans and Brad and Angie still look like saints.
I can't tell who the brangeloonies are anymore. their fans or the people that flip out everytime they get publicity.
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Blogs aren't for the sensitive at heart - FU
I'm NOT an economist, I'm an optimist. GW Bush
They are in the glossies more than Hilton, Paris or Britney. Who would be a fan of them? They are tabloid God's. Relegated to being celebrities and not "actors" (artists, indeed?) And they did that themselves by constantly feeding the media with their everyday activities and stories. A lot of which are contradictory. And Pitt said he wanted a simpler life? Yeah, sure. His life is simple and less materialistic. And Angie has an underbite and horse teeth. Great beauty indeed! Even Rosie can look beautiful with the right amount of photoshop.
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"Your eyes are brown cause you're full of shit"
She is my favorite. Someone told me she is datting a young billlionaire on -"""""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""". What kind of relationship she is looking for on that site? Long-term relationship or just a date?
I'm betting the issue tanks domestically.
Real people, living in the real world do not care anymore.
I do a poll when I run through the check out lanes now, I'll just make a small remark and not one person has anything nice to say about them.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.