30 Fucking Pages!
This is Saint Angelina laughing at us for already making plans to rush to the newsstands on Monday morning to plop down a few dollars for 30 pages of pictures of her precious twin messiahs. Yes, 30 fucking pages of baby pictures alone. Gawker reports that the hos at People closed the issue last night and the entire spread clocks in at around 30 pages.
I don't even want to look at 30 pages of pictures of babies I'm related to! I mean, what the hell? Here's a picture of Hard Knox with his eyes closed! Here's a picture of Vivie with her eyes closed! Oh! Here's another picture of Hard Knox with his eyes closed and his mouth is open. What's sad is, I'm still going to carefully analyze all 30 pages. I hate myself.
It was rumored that People and Hello! Magazine bought the rights for around $10-$15 million. A source told AP that the final number was $14 million. The cash will go to a foundation created by Brangelina that helps children around the world.
People should seriously find ways to make more money off of these pictures. They could put out a coffee table book and sell t-shirts. Shit, they should make wallet-sized versions of the pictures. That way Brangaloonies can carry them around in their wallets and easily show friends pictures of their "best friends' babies." Seriously, Brangaloonies will look at their friends with glazed eyes and say, "You want to see pictures of the most beautiful humans in the entire history of the world? Say yes or I'll cut you."
And in case you haven't already tattooed it onto your forehead, the first picture of the golden twins will be on People's website tomorrow at 7pm EST.
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We should remember all the tax breaks. People can put more money forward because they'll receive la mejor tax deductions for it. Brangelina can use that money to travel and for photo ops and still get tax breaks in the end.
Plus, on all sides there are marketing costs. No one has to buy adspace anymore. It's easy to give up the cash cuz, in the end, it will cause profit for everyone involved. People paid out the money but they do plan on getting it back. Brangeloonies rock their world, fersure. They make the job a LOT easier.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
QueenCharisma on August 2, 2008 - 1:05pm.
"What the hell is wrong with our world?"
That's the $14MIL question! The irony of asking it on a celebrity gossip site is not lost on me. ;) At least this site is free. :)
NO baby pics are worth this kind of $, but there's obviously a market for it in our world, and so advertisers pay $extra$ for ad space in mags, and so mags can afford to pay a lot for pics. I can't say I blame celebs for going this route. The babes get to be photographed in a controlled environment, much safer than by paps chasing strollers in the streets.
I don't have a baby, but if some mag were to offer me much less for pictures of my as-yet nonexistent spawn, I'd call my BF and get started on making one right away. LOL. The proceeds would go to the charity of Putting My Kid Through College Because Tuition Will Be $100K/Year By The Time My Kid Grows Up.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on August 2, 2008 - 2:40pm.
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I love that pic with Jordan, too. Basically, I loved all of the pictures though, lol. Now you've made me want to go home and read that issue again. I haven't looked at it since it came out.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by angel_i on August 2, 2008 - 7:23pm.
@ DAE:
You just reminded me.
I found this for you!
http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i13/cudasgirl/codepink_fat_lady.j
*
*puts down packet of crips* maybe later! lol
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Submitted by QueenCharisma on August 2, 2008 - 7:25pm.
Yeah, I love the pic where Chris is lounging with Max on the chair. The color composition alone in that one is very pretty and her baby was a cutie.
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That one is fantastic, one of my faves is the pic where Jordan is holding Max & places a kiss on his head - it makes me melt.
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
Last Xtina sighting - July 30th 2008
Well all I know is that my disgust for them has reached an entirely new level.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
And the funny thing is, in a couple of months, Brangelina will be complaining to Larry King or Oprah about how the damn paps won't leave them and their children alone and how they want their "privacy." Maybe if you quite whoring your kids out, these vultures won't feel like it's a damn free for all with your babies. Dumb fucks.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Thanks 4 the People website heads up. Thank my lucky stars I also have a subscription so I can immortalize the dynamic duo. And let's hope Brad hangs up his wiener for a lil' while anyway.
This stupidness is that out of control?!?!
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
With all this environmental talk and the economy problems, how can they be adding more to this weeks issue? Wouldn't this mean these arrogant fucks are taking pages away from more important stories, which people magazine does include? If they are wasting extra paper for these fuckers, than fuck you Brad, don't preach to the rest of us about environmental issues! I think I'll use my money on a Larry flynt publication instead, so he can continue fighting for and defending our freedom to speak our minds here on dlisted!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
What's equally stupid is that the photos won't even really look like them, because you know that shit will be photoshopped to death!
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by maejones on August 2, 2008 - 7:02pm.
Everybody is making a big deal about 14 mil US$, the truth is, the american dollar has taken a shit kicking in the last year so how much is that really?
Well that's 7 million pounds which is still quite a lot of money. 7 million quid, I can't get my head around that one. You really would think it was the second coming. How on earth is she going to top this next time- quads? A brace of Chinese orphans with a round dozen of African babies who are nearly orphans? I mean it-this is multiple orgasm time for the attention junkie and she is going to want a bigger, better bang next time. It's quite a worry really.
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Leave the thinking to horses, they've got bigger heads.
why buy this shit when peeps post that shizz on the internets anyway?
oh and angie looks like shit.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on August 2, 2008 - 7:13pm.
LMAO, Dreamy. I mean, holy cow, there's enough skin there to make 5 Skankelinas.
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Lookie here, having one Angie is bad enough without trying to scare people by putting the idea into Brangaloons heads that could make 5 clones of her, if they had enough skin! ;0)
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Submitted by madam s. on August 2, 2008 - 7:18pm.
Ahhaha Dreamy!
That "It puts the lotion in the basket" guy from The Silence of the Lambs could make his whole spring collection out of that lady!
(Or basically what Fucking_Classy said. xo)
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*decides not to admit to never watching SOTL*
Lol! Totally!
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
Last Xtina sighting - July 30th 2008
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on August 2, 2008 - 2:21pm.
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Yeah, I love the pic where Chris is lounging with Max on the chair. The color composition alone in that one is very pretty and her baby was a cutie.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Is it evil and nasty that a little, teensy part of me wants these babies to be FUG?
Of course, they won't be! Doy! But...mwahahahahahahaha!
Submitted by madam s. on August 2, 2008 - 1:39pm
my avie is janine lindemulder
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
Weren't we all tortured enough with their overhyped "artistic" spread in W? Ugh.
So when is People selling the laminated hardcopies for the Brangeloonies so they
can freak their shit out for 30 pages worth?
Laminated hardcopies would build a better shrine.
Mia Farrow must be somewhere rolling her eyes saying WTF?
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
@ DAE:
You just reminded me.
I found this for you!
http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i13/cudasgirl/codepink_fat_lady.jpg
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Oh for Pete's fuckin sake!! 30 fuckin pictures!!?? This is going too far! So does anyone else here pray this news incites jlo!! I mean she's supposed to be such an insane diva, but she didn't command 30 pages for her twins! Please, let some big name celebrity say something about this being fucked up! Or at least bill o'reilly! He tends to run his mouth about celbrities abusing charities! I mean 30 fuckin pages? How can anyone ever possibly deny that they are media whores now!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Why would anyone want to look at 30 pages of some twin worms? These people are delusional. And AJ needs to go away. I am sick of looking at her boney ass. She is really quite ugly. Both she and Brad have gotten significantly uglier since they started breeding. Maybe they should stop now and spare us all!
OT, I never noticed before how AJ has such a weird set of teeth. I don't know if they are square or its considered an overbite of sorts, but the shape of her teeth are like square... Can't describe it any better than that. It's weird. Not attractive...
Submitted by QueenCharisma on August 2, 2008 - 7:11pm.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on August 2, 2008 - 1:58pm.
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I bought the baby Max issue of People too (Christina's my girl, what can I say?) and I was pissed that Hello and tons of European mags had waaay more pictures in them from that same shoot! And most of their pictures were better than the ones in People. I officially hate that magazine now.
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ITA - the European rags, diffenetly got the best pictures. The only saving grace for people in my book, is that the shoot was done very ina very classic, tasteful way.
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
Last Xtina sighting - July 30th 2008
Submitted by madam s. on August 3, 2008 - 2:18am.
Ahhaha Dreamy!
That "It puts the lotion in the basket" guy from The Silence of the Lambs could make his whole spring collection out of that lady!
(Or basically what Fucking_Classy said. xo)
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Madam S, you totally outfunnied me!
OT: Whoever said Holie could play the joker in the next Batman was right. Look at that fucking grin!
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"Our kind must never sit in the audience. Our kind must perform and run the show, or the others will run us."
30 pages?
Great,a different page to line my birdcage with every day for a month!
There is no darkness but ignorance.
What force is more potent than love?
"You want to see pictures of the most beautiful humans in the entire history of the world? Say yes or I'll cut you!"
Bwhaahahaaahhaahah!! MK, you ROCK!
Madam S,
Wouldn't dream of buying this issue. I felt guilty buying this weeks issue but it had an article about Caylee Anthony that i wanted to read.
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Madness, as you know, is like gravity…
All it needs is a little push.
Ahhaha Dreamy!
That "It puts the lotion in the basket" guy from The Silence of the Lambs could make his whole spring collection out of that lady!
(Or basically what Fucking_Classy said. xo)
You know what would be great? If People did competing covers for this issue... one with the Brangelina Brats on one cover and the Montauk Monster on the other one. And then the Montauk Monster one outsold Brangie! That would make me happy.
Decomposing water rat - 1
Shameless media whores - 0
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on August 3, 2008 - 2:10am.
Deep down Angie's sceret wish is to look like this:
(NSFW)
http://www.bbwathome.co.uk/blog/images/bbw-porn1.jpg
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LMAO, Dreamy. I mean, holy cow, there's enough skin there to make 5 Skankelinas.
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"Our kind must never sit in the audience. Our kind must perform and run the show, or the others will run us."
Holy crap - 30 f'ing pages??? Shit, I'll just wait and look at the pics online, that is if I can muster up enough interest. All baby pics pretty much look the same.
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I love twinks! ;)
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on August 2, 2008 - 1:58pm.
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I bought the baby Max issue of People too (Christina's my girl, what can I say?) and I was pissed that Hello and tons of European mags had waaay more pictures in them from that same shoot! And most of their pictures were better than the ones in People. I officially hate that magazine now.
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Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 2, 2008 - 1:55pm.
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I feel the same - I want to see Gwen's baby since her Kingston is a doll. Plus, she's super cool and in no way as douchey as Brangelina.
Happy birthday by the way!
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Deep down Angie's sceret wish is to look like this:
(NSFW)
http://www.bbwathome.co.uk/blog/images/bbw-porn1.jpg
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
Last Xtina sighting - July 30th 2008
In honor of the holy twins I donated $10 to Carry a Big Sticker's lawsuit (free speech) in Michael K's honor since its on his site. I hope he receives his blessings soon. For this good deed of mine, I want to be on the cover of AARP wearing my momjeans and all the glory of being a jealous fat trailer trash hater or a good picture of the holy ones on dlisted, she didn't eat much and I want to know if they are padded.
And thing is, even if the babies are fucking ugly, they'll still photoshop the shit out of the newborns to make 'em look good. Because that's all that matters, anyway. Who cares if the baby is healthy or happy.
Oh and Skankelina is NOT aging well.
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"Our kind must never sit in the audience. Our kind must perform and run the show, or the others will run us."
Leaving my twisted hatred aside, how interesting can pics of two or three week olds be? I was looking at some baby pictures the other day and although my son and daughter look quite different now they looked very similar at birth. That said, I know I will have a look to see the expressions on the other kid’s faces. Maddox will be 'oh fuck, another lot of babies, must be time for a new daddy soon' Zahara will be honing a shiv out of a rattle and poor, lost looking Pax will be looking sad and worrying he's going to be sent back. The blob will be drooling and looking vacant as usual whilst wondering why mummy only talks to the brown babies. Brad will be out of shot in all the pictures and he searches for his balls.
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Leave the thinking to horses, they've got bigger heads.
Submitted by Cleopatra2U on August 2, 2008 - 1:49pm.
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I'm glad you bothered to do the math because if I had figured that out on my own, I would've thrown up in my mouth. $2 mill a page?! WTF?! These kids can be some of the most beautiful babies on the planet (and they probably will be - look at Shiloh), but damn if they're worth that much money. That kind of cash can go to funding homeless shelters and finding a cure for AIDS and cancer. What the hell is wrong with our world?
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Everybody is making a big deal about 14 mil US$, the truth is, the american dollar has taken a shit kicking in the last year so how much is that really?
They're donating it to their own charity, hmm? How benevolant! I wonder how much they skim off the top for "administrative fees" while at the same time they claim the whole as a tax deductible donation.
If Brangeloonies really believe in the generosity of these two shams, they should donate the cost of that issue to a real charity instead of buying this crap.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 2, 2008 - 7:55pm.
ITA! Dayum, i wanna see a Stefani-Rossdale baby pic rather...
The J/P's probably own Hello and People.
I'm going to write a 30 page letter to People & Hello, demanding to know why the Goddess, Christina only got SIX pages for Max. *sniffs*.
I really hope that Shoilh #2 and whelp jr are fug. That would be great karma.
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
Last Xtina sighting - July 30th 2008
Submitted by NaNoop on August 2, 2008 - 1:50pm.
AMEN to that! Someone who gives ANON without anyone knowing about it is the greatest giver of all. Those folks who show how "GIVING" they are PUBLICLY make me want to puke. THAT kind of giving is more about being guilty that they are wealthy for pretty much NOTHING whereas, folks that work hard and BUILD something and give ANON are the TRUE heroes of our (or any) society.
Let's face it head-on. GIVING is EASY when you have nothing to lose. -But, giving when you are already strapped is the TRUE spirit of giving and the majority of people who actually sponsor or donate are usually on the low-end of the 'rich' scale and are scraping by themselves. Those people are the TRUE heroes. NOT these rich twats.
Truth be told, I do want to see the issue. I see it anyway at my MIL's house for free. However, I will not be crouching at my computer with a lit candle, intoning blessings, at the appointed hour. Please.
30 fucking pages is right!
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
WHERE IS GWEN STEFANI??? She should have had that baby by now! Now there is a celeb who I always like seeing. And Kingston is adorable!
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...whatever.
@lizzieb
For reals. You're supposed to get a cookie!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on August 2, 2008 - 9:50am.
The Cambodian govt claims they never received a dime from the Jolie Maddox foundation. Supposedly, it was set up to remove land mines.
Angelina had a house build there when she adopted Maddox. However, its my understanding that she's abandoned the house and her interest in Cambodia.
Angelina is only driven by money and fame. She is the Hollywood version of Madonna.
They both manipulate the media to satisfy their egos, regardless of the casualties that occur along the way to reach their end goals.
I TOTALLY AGREE.
{{Like an accused Maury Povich show baby-daddy denying the claim:}}
One thousand and ten percent!!!
Ladies and gents, a drum roll please. This is what a real life loonie said about a small post I put on JJ- jelus h8er is my nom de plume:
Frenchy @ 08/02/2008 at 12:31 pm jellus h8er @ 08/02/2008 at 12:15 pm
congratulations, you are the official winner of the craziest post of the day. Wow! Talk about a loon! Your take the cake buddy.
Wow indeed- your take the cake? I wish I was witty like that.
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Leave the thinking to horses, they've got bigger heads.
I gotta admit, while I will not buy, I will most certainly look. Curious Cat that i am. If I said different i would be lying.
As far as People is concerned, Angie is their new "Princess DI" when it comes to selling issues and they made an assload of money off of that poor thing.
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...whatever.
Submitted by Bda on August 2, 2008 - 6:41pm.
Can't wait! LOL! Such a loser but don't lie EVERYONE wants to see them! You cannot possibly say you aren't curious to see them!
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WRONG! Hate to break it to you, but the world does revolve around Saint Angie and her hell spawn. IF MK posts the pics, I might look - I will NOT however rush out & wet myself buying People mag, just to see them.
The ONLY celeb baby I wanted to see was Christina's (like, duh! lol.) I don't give a rats arse about the rest.
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
Last Xtina sighting - July 30th 2008
Submitted by angel_i on August 2, 2008 - 1:48pm.
Outside people never really got a taste of just how bad Brit got, I think.
Believe me, Angel, 9 folks outta 10 who buy those rag mags don't want da TROOF! Yeah, that's my own equation and I'm stuckin' too it! ;p
I don't buy the "charitable" posturing one bit. SILENT BENEFACTORS are waaayyy more sincere. Scrangie Jo just seems like a sicko manipulator who is getting so much pleasure out of the worship.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 2, 2008 - 1:42pm.
Bda, I personally could not care less about any celeb's baby.
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I feel the same way.
☠
"Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one. Who do you pick?"
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
The Cambodian govt claims they never received a dime from the Jolie Maddox foundation. Supposedly, it was set up to remove land mines.
Angelina had a house build there when she adopted Maddox. However, its my understanding that she's abandoned the house and her interest in Cambodia.
Angelina is only driven by money and fame. She is the Hollywood version of Madonna.
They both manipulate the media to satisfy their egos, regardless of the casualties that occur along the way to reach their end goals.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.