Saturday, August 2nd 2008

Life Saving Pussy

97-year-old Grace George was fast asleep dreaming of Robert Redford in a hot Metamucil bath when she heard her big pussy yelping all loud and shit. Okay, when I hear a pussy howling, that usually means it needs a little q-tip action. Grace was pissed that her pussy, Boo Boo, woke her memaw ass up, so she got out of bed to beat that pussy down. No, but she got out of bed to investigate.

Grace picked up Boo Boo and was about to throw her outside when she smelled smoke. Grace's house was on fire! Grace then ran outside in the rain and flagged down a car. She said, "Thank God it was a lady. All I had on was bikini underwear and a tank top." This memaw likes to keep it sexy for bed times. You know she's lying though. She was really wearing a g-string, exquisite lucite heels and pasties.

Grace and Boo Boo are safe and sound, but her house is busted up. That bitchy ass fire caused $115,000 worth of damages to her house and possessions. Grace canceled her home insurance 4 years ago! Grace isn't complaining though and is thankful that her big pussy saved her life, "I'm going to get her a special treat, a can of salmon. That's $2."

Grace should raise cash by putting Boo Boo to work! I'm talking about a career as a recording artist. Obviously, pussy can howl! If a big, dirty pussy like Heidi Montag can get a record deal, so can Boo Boo!

Source

Thanks Kath

Posted by: Michael K


Green Is Good's picture

I have 2 tortoise-shell cats myself. Not a spot on them that's the same color. Love it!

My tiny one has this one blond paw that is too cute!

Alltheprettyones's picture

Hell, if memaw still wants to rock her teeny panties and a tank top then more power to her. As for Boo-Boo, he is the hottest slut poosay
out there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hell ain't SHIT!" Stinkmeaner from "The Boondocks"

meadowgirl's picture

what i love is that the cat's fucking name is Boo Boo. that's what we nicknamed my nephew when he was a baby. he's the exact shade of Boo Boo from the cartoon. ahahahahaaha!!!! :D

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Nothing like a story that involves a safety-conscious pussy and a 97-year-old in bikini panties and a tank top...Five stars all around! She will make bank just by signing a reality show deal, her and the cat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08

She cancelled her homeowner's insurance? What? Shudder!

platypus's picture

honestly, that cat was just freaking out because she thought Lindsay Lohan was using the house as a dildo
---------------------------------------------
Brand, Jen, and Angelina sing about love

http://youtube.com/watch?v=baSNJpfpjbE

gucci's picture

man this pussy looks ragady, washed up and depressed! he looks like DJ kat!

___________________
"When it comes to men, don't pay attention to word they say, but pay attention to absolutely everything they do".

Professor Randy Paush

Drinksonme's picture

My Memaws are gone how do I get some cash to this Memaw there must be a fund set up some where for hot Memaws.I'd have her come to live with me but my dog would have her pussy for dinner!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Who was that guy last night,he left the seat up damn!

TT99's picture

She knew better than to dream up Robert Reford, he's the Hot Grim Reaper, 'Member him on the Twilight Zone?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8_EwlNiJbY

___________________________________________________________________
"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell

DeeDee's picture

Is it just me or is that pussy's head as big as the meemaw's head?

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. ~Homer Simpson

zomay's picture

BooBoo has my vote. First off I love torties and second she is way quicker on her feet than Prince Chunk.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Momus the Sarcastic's picture

Big Pussy Smackdown: Princess Chunk v. BooBoo!

************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************

She said, "Thank God it was a lady. All I had on was bikini underwear and a tank top." This memaw likes to keep it sexy for bed times. You know she's lying though. She was really wearing a g-string, exquisite lucite heels and pasties.

GD that's funny......

"Yogi? Do you smelllllllll a pick-a-nick basket?"

"Boo Boo, no, but your ass smells like cheese! YUM!"

Typical drivel that MK should leave us pathetic souls on the weekend. I might as well be chewing my toenails whilst watching Jerry Springer.

AHHHHHHHHHH.

Hell.

This.

Is.

IT.

Anyone for S'mores?

jussayin's picture

my cat probably would have broke out like Judge Judy! cya, bitches!!

well unless the fire had burnt up her food bowl. then she would scream like she usually does when it's empty lol

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
hot damn, ho, here we go again.

peaches's picture

Robert Redford, everyone has been comparing Brad Pitt to him for years, and now Brad's behavior is everything Redford stands against! Redford is known to be very shy and reclusive, noone could be more against mediawhoring! To compare Brad to him now would be very insulting to this very talented and respectable artist!

-------------------------------------------------------------
*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*

BlueOrchid's picture

My cat did something similar once. Stupid me, came home a bit drunk one evening and decided to fry something up on the stove. I kind of zoned out on the couch, started to pass out and my food began to burn a little. Hailey (my kitty) jumped up and swatted me on the face as if to say, "Wake the hell up, dumbass!" Cats rock.

That cat looks HUGE on her lap!

ΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨ

Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you're getting double-penetrated. -Michael K

Madam Pince's picture

Stupid ho canceled her homeowners insurance because she paid premiums for 50 years and didn't use it?!? Boo Boo rocks, but GG should be tagged Dumb Bitch of the Day.

And what's with a 97-yo woman wearing bikinis?!? They call 'em granny panties for a reason, Memaw.

***********************************************************

"If Hugh is asked directions to the nearest Citibank, I am asked directions to the nearest plasma bank."

~David Sedaris

angry mom's picture

Submitted by Tigerlilly on August 2, 2008 - 7:06pm.
fucking hilarious!

Mr. President's picture

PSL: I used to have one, but I neglected it and then deleted it. I'm not even on Facebook. Extreme ADD will do that to you, I guess.

**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

Parker's picture

I don't understand how people don't like dogs or cats....I just can't understand. What's not to like about unconditional love?
_______
Amen! I understand some peeps have allergies, but if you don't ADOPT ADOPT ADOPT!!! I can barely watch "Animal Police". That shit makes me cry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you don't leave so I can spend some quality time with my man, next I'll show you my pooter.

yiooooooo's picture

That is a good cat , mine is a psico bitch who does not leave me alone she bites and scratch everyone and then has the nerve to get on my bed and use my pillow to sleep on it bitch

Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus

Sayonara's picture

Submitted by Parker on August 2, 2008 - 8:07pm.
Submitted by Parker on August 2, 2008 - 8:00pm.
PSL... Pets do kick ass. I have two kitties and a dog.
__________________________________________________

Do they get along?
_______
They do. It's really odd. My older cat, who's (maybe) 12, as I adopted him as an adult, doesn't really pay attention to the younger cat. But it's really cute when the 3 yr old cat gets on top of the dog and licks her head. I got lucky, for sure!
__________________________________________________

That is too cute!

"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader

parissucksliterally's picture

Dogs and cats can totally get along, if one is a baby....my dog is really funny with cats. If they run, she'll chase it, but if it doesn't, she doesn't attack- she'll get close and bark...almost like she is screaming, "Why aren't you running? I'm scary! GO!"

I don't understand how people don't like dogs or cats....I just can't understand. What's not to like about unconditional love?

Mr Pres, do you have a Myspace?

**************************************************
I was naive, your love was like candy; artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping
-Christina Aguilera "Walk Away"

Mr. President's picture

She looks like that Canadian sex expert that was Hot Slut of the Day a few weeks ago.

**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

Missus R's picture

God bless dear pussy.
She did what a neighbor or stranger might not.
Well at least when it comes to house fires that is.

Mr. President's picture

Despite my cat allergies, I love cats. My brother has one and he is the sweetest thing ever. Warmed my cold little heart.

LMAO PSL!!!

**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

parissucksliterally's picture

Mr Pres, I knew you were upset about Aubrey, but aren't you taking this a little too far?

:)

**************************************************
I was naive, your love was like candy; artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping
-Christina Aguilera "Walk Away"

Parker's picture

Submitted by Parker on August 2, 2008 - 8:00pm.
PSL... Pets do kick ass. I have two kitties and a dog.
__________________________________________________

Do they get along?
_______
They do. It's really odd. My older cat, who's (maybe) 12, as I adopted him as an adult, doesn't really pay attention to the younger cat. But it's really cute when the 3 yr old cat gets on top of the dog and licks her head. I got lucky, for sure!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you don't leave so I can spend some quality time with my man, next I'll show you my pooter.

Tigerlilly's picture

MK, you are obsessed with pussies and chi-chi's. Tell me again why you are gay???? C'mon, I'm a big pussy with six chi-chis who can don FOUR exquisite lucite heels AND a monster strap-on...Marry me...
And nevermind that clause in your life insurance policy, the double indemnity for a mysterious mauling death..Everyone has that in their life....What? It's true...*uh-oh, zoo officials 5 o'clock*....Must dash...

**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Mr. President's picture

PSL, was supposed to go out today but woke up with the biggest hangover in the history of the entire planet. I may have actually drunk more than ESE last night. Breakup issues that I won't bore anyone with the details. I will be going out on Monday. Thanks for asking. Drinking Diet Coke today.

**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

parissucksliterally's picture

Mr Pres, going out on Monday for your b-day? I figured you'd be out tonight......but of course you are welcome to join...the birthday girl isn't here yet though.....

**************************************************
I was naive, your love was like candy; artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping
-Christina Aguilera "Walk Away"

Sayonara's picture

Submitted by Parker on August 2, 2008 - 8:00pm.
PSL... Pets do kick ass. I have two kitties and a dog.
__________________________________________________

Do they get along?

"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader

Parker's picture

PSL... Pets do kick ass. I have two kitties and a dog. I never wanted a "guard dog", but apparently I got one when I adopted her. Or, maybe I'm a lazy pet parent that doesn't know how to teach her to not bark at every damned thing that comes down the street. Oh well! I love her anyhoo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you don't leave so I can spend some quality time with my man, next I'll show you my pooter.

beebee's picture

MK! You read my comment! Thank you. :D
OT: The bikini underwear thing is pretty gross. TMI.

madam s.'s picture

Awww... I'm really glad Grace and Boo Boo are alright! And Grace George is a really pretty name.

At least she wasn't in a thong, pasties, and bondage gear.

xultar's picture

Thank God it was a lady. All I had on was bikini underwear and a tank top."

xultar's picture

Thank God it was a lady. All I had on was bikini underwear and a tank top."

stake_spike's picture

Granny's her age do not need to be wearing 'bikini underwear and tank tops', gross. 97? She needs to be wearing those memaw pjs. I'm surprised she still lives alone.

And I'm sorry but up until 5 years ago Robert Redford was a hot piece. Unfortunatley he aged really quickly. Wasn't he like 60 something when he made Indecent Proposal? Hot.

she is my favorite. Someone told me she is datting a young billlionaire on -"""""NYwealthyMatch . c o m""". What kind of relationship she is looking for on that site? Long-term relationship or just a dating?

Mr. President's picture

I hope the cockroaches in my apartment will wake me up if there is a fire.

Happy Birthday, Deb. Mind if I join you guys for the evening's festivities?

**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

Parker's picture

Yep, Sayanora... pussies all up in this bitch! :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you don't leave so I can spend some quality time with my man, next I'll show you my pooter.

parissucksliterally's picture

Pets kick ass. I have heard so many stories about a dog or a cat notifying the family that something is wrong.....love it!

**************************************************
I was naive, your love was like candy; artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping
-Christina Aguilera "Walk Away"

Sayonara's picture

This has been the week of the cat.

"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader