Justin Timberlake Might Host The Oscars
Say those six words when you get to the gates of hell and you'll immediately be ushered to the VIP section.
I think it's pretty effin' disgusting that the producers are even considering allowing this douche bag host the Oscars. How long are the Oscars? Like 15 hours? Imagine sitting through 15 hours of Justin Timberlake. There isn't enough booze and drugs on the planet to get you through that.
A source told The National Enquirer (via CM) that the producers were impressed with Justin after watching him host the ESPY Awards. They thought he was "naturally funny." And methinks the producers are "naturally high."
They also think Justin could bring in a younger audience. The source went on to say, "Justin is more than a singer, he's a song-and-dance man - and turned in a performance (at the ESPY Awards) any comedian would envy. Our first question was, 'Can we get him?' Justin does it all, and knows how to work a star-studded audience." Song-and-dance man? Since when is this douche Gene Kelly?
This may be the perfect time to end the Oscars awards show. It's been a good run, but it's time to call it a day the minute you start to consider Justin Timberfake as a host. Instead, they can hand out the awards in the parking lot of Bob's Big Boy after Sunday buffet brunch.
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Well, the Oscars suck donkey balls, anyway, so it's all very fitting.
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" Jesus can see everything I do... and he's going to beat me brainless!"
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
sienna - I second the Stephen vote!
Oh I 'd rather douche with battery acid than watch the Oscars with that creep as host....
please dont let that be true
Wow, this is a new low for the Oscars.
Dear stupid oscar pplz,
Timberdouche hosting the oscars is just another reason for me to never wanna to watch it.
Sincerely,
A memeber of the younger audience
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
it should be stephen colbert
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"I'll admit it. I love Sienna Miller because immoral sluts need to stick together." -- MK
I'd rather watch Bill Crystal and his walker then this pre-pube punk.
FUCKING TERRIBLE.
I'M GONNA PUKE.
MANDO
get the fuck out of here.
NO.
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I may be soft in your palm but I'll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
Will he be presenting the "Best Suppporting Doucebag Award"? Looks like everyone in the world want's a staycation.
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
Maybe they're considering JT because, uh, Shia LaDouche isn't available?
he's GAY
this would make me not watch the oscars.
Submitted by yolie on August 4, 2008 - 12:24pm.
And then the following year the host will be Miley Cyrus to bring in the tween audience. What is this world coming to??!!
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God help us if that happens. If I were an actress in Hollywood up for an Oscar, I would be insulted that they got this douche to host. Fer realz.
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Hi5.
Will he also claim to be the one who started the trend of hosting the Oscars ... like he claimed to have started the trend of wearing trucker caps?
The only Oscar show he should be hosting is the awarding of the one-year drivership of the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile!
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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If he hosts the OSCARS, women and gays will fucking freak. I know I will. Shit.
Submitted by oklahoma on August 4, 2008 - 11:53am.
I hate how they think someone is funny cause they can read a script or words 'written' for them. Like when he was on SNL or in a movie like the "Love Guru"
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Yeah. He's really bad...but they wrote the parts so that the badness is not too bad. I get SO frustrated because of all the people behind the scenes who make these shmos look good - and then get no credit. HOW do they do it?!?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Happy X-mas, One and All!
Submitted by TT99 on August 4, 2008 - 10:53am.
Oscar Committee: Nevermind, let's just get some of the Dlisted commenters to host the show. They're so witty. Plus TT99's got some pretty good dance moves too.
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LMAO! What a fantastic idea! Plus I'd love to see TT99 and some other dlisters bust a move.
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Justin?! Justin doesn't belong anywhere near the Oscars! Not to mention he has the charisma of a fence post.
And then the following year the host will be Miley Cyrus to bring in the tween audience. What is this world coming to??!!
Hosting the Oscars requires a level of comedic and improvisational talent that Timberlake just DOES NOT HAVE. He will have to rely excessively on the teleprompter for scripted jokes.... he is nowhere near the level of a Billy Crystal, Steve Martin, Whoopi Goldberg, or David Letterman, who can react to a situation and make a hilarious off-the-cuff-joke.
Just because he was funny in an episode of Saturday Night Live and hammed it up at the ESPYs does not make him qualified to host. This is a completely different kind of show to host; it's a whole other level. In fact, if he's selected, the Oscars are going to alienate a lot of their past hosts and prevent them from coming back. Timberlake is bushleague.
>"They also think Justin could bring in a younger audience."<
So could Miley Cyrus, and at least she's had one hit movie. Anyway, I don't believe for a second anybody associated with the Academy Awards thinks that or would say that or would care. They (and E! and Access Hollywood and Extra...) assume every living person's lives revolves around who wins.
Why don't they just get over it and get Ashley Tisdale already? Nothing in Hollywood surprises me anymore.
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
I hate how they think someone is funny cause they can read a script or words 'written' for them. Like when he was on SNL or in a movie like the "Love Guru" WTF.. total shit! Plus, I just cringe when I think of him having sex w/ that man Jess Biel, the same was I cringe when I think about Guy Smiley/Ritchie having sex w/ that man Madonna.. Fuck! tht is some creepy stuff, and thre must be something majorly wrong w/ both of them! BOTH OF THEM!!
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
I like watching the oscars but its to long. They to make it like maybe an 1 or 1 1/2 TOPS to get more people to watch it. And theres a few REAL MOVIE STARS left (Daniel Day Lewis, Viggo, Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, Christian Bale, Johnny Depp, Julianne Moore, ECT) that actullay DESERVE to be there AND win. It sucks that the public doesnt give them the time of day, the more talented you are the more obsucure you become. And Justin TimberTOOL is annoying and a TALENTLESS HACK who needs to be brought down a peg.
He made a movie that might win something (next year?), kids - The Love Guru.
Seriously - he's going not going anywhere.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Happy X-mas, One and All!
Oscar Committee: Nevermind, let's just get some of the Dlisted commenters to host the show. They're so witty. Plus TT99's got some pretty good dance moves too.
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"I'm not mean, I'm just temporarily way too honest." - Howard Kremer
Oh jesus christ. Now I've heard everything.
What? You don't think JT deserves this? He's godly in his acting ability as well as everything else he does. His film resume proves it, bitches! Y'all betta recognize!
Ok, I'm done. Boy, it's fun to pretend!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
I'll bet tha Justin's sausage locker has acne on it.
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I love you. No, really.
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Wonderful.
*sticks head in oven*
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Before the Sun:
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Sure! Why not. Paris can host the Academy Awards and Wino can host The BRITs.
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Madness, as you know, is like gravity…
All it needs is a little push.
Oh fuck to the no.
I watch the Oscars and Golden Globes, etc...
YES, shut up, anyway, this is stupid.
The Oscars are NOT the Teen Choice/Grammy's/MTV, leave those ward shows to the JT's of the world.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Does anyone even watch the Oscars anyways?
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Hi5.
WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS?!?
(Sorry to scream, but "Justin Timberlake" and "Oscars" in the same sentence merits that type of reaction.)
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"If Hugh is asked directions to the nearest Citibank, I am asked directions to the nearest plasma bank."
~David Sedaris
Oh hell no! I wouldn't watch JT jack off, let alone host the fucking Oscars.
Oh, that'd be great. /sarcasm
WTH qualifies him to be the evening's voice of the academy; because he voiced Arthur Pendragon in Shrek 3? Oh wait, no, it's gotta be his role in Alpha Dog, where he delivers the memorable line:
"You KNOW how I get about this anxiety SHIT!"
They really don't want anyone to watch the show because I am not watching that piece shit anywere. He can't contribute to movie opening do they not know this?
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Oscar Meyer WEINER awards, more like.
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I love you. No, really.
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